EMOTION
by Qmagic
Summary: Seth has always loved Jacob, but after he finally confesses; Jacob rejects him and the pack turns on him. Will Seth fall into despair or will his dreams come true? Follow the story of Seth, Jacob and the Quileute wolf pack as they struggle to learn the meaning of love and forgiveness while coping with dark secrets that may very well lie deep beneath the La Push reservation grounds.
1. Friend

EMOTION

SUMMARY: Seth has always loved Jacob, but after he finally confesses; Jacob rejects him and the pack turns on him. Will Seth fall into despair or will his dreams come true? (Jacob/Seth- slash) also (Leah/Sam) and (Embry/Collin)

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is my very first Twilight fan-fiction so I don't know if it's any good but I worked really hard on it. Please read and review and let me know what you think. Criticism is loved, as long as it's constructive.

SETTING AND CHARACTERS: The main focus of this story is (Seth/Jacob) and the Quileute characters. Breaking Dawn does not exist in this story (Let's burn every copy of that book!^^) This story takes place two years after Eclipse. The first chapter begins one year after Eclipse, and then the story continues in chapter two another year later. Basically, the majority takes place two years after Eclipse. Therefore, the characters' ages have been modified. Seth just turns seventeen and Jacob is nineteen. (Sorry, I know it is confusing but I'll explain later in the story) Furthermore, characters may be VERY different from their counterparts in the books in terms of personality and characterization. I changed many things about them to fit the story.

WARNING!!!!: The rating is categorized as (M) for homosexual material, language, alcohol use, sexual material and adult situations so if you are offended or disinterested in such material, please TURN BACK NOW.

DISCLAIMER: Unfortunately, I don't own the Twilight saga, or any of the elements associated with it. If I did, Breaking Dawn would have NEVER happened, the Quileute wolf pack would have THEIR OWN SPIN OFF SERIES, there would be NO SUCH THING as imprinting and most importantly; JACOB AND SETH WOULD HAVE ENDED UP TOGETHER, hahaha. ^_^

Main Cast: Seth Clearwater, Jacob Black, Leah Clearwater, Sue Clearwater, Collin, Sam Uley, Embry Call

Supporting Cast: Bella Swan, Emily Young, Quil Ateara Jr, Jared, Paul, Brady, Kim Connweller, Rachel Black, Claire, Billy Black, Quil Ateara Sr, Charlie Swan, (unnamed wolves from BD): Logan, Elijah, Michael, Kyle, Wyatt, Nathan, Trent (I wanted to give them names because it always pissed me off that SM couldn't be bothered to give them names, but she named all the vampires. Also, I know they didn't appear until "breaking dawn" but I want to include them here anyway.)

Special Guests: The Cullens?... maybe? (undecided) I'm not sure yet because I really just want to focus on the Quileute. (Yes I'm biased, I know ^^)

* * *

Chapter One

ONE YEAR AFTER "ECLISPE"

Seth looked out from the window, taking in the orange setting sun and the dark amber sky that would soon bring in the twilight. Seth looked absentmindedly over his shoulder to see Jacob striking poses while looking in the mirror, his open laptop blasting loud music while he rapped along to the perverse lyrics. Seth laughed to himself. He originally came over to help Jacob pack for his departure for college in the morning but so far they hadn't got much done.

Seth raked his hands through his short raven hair, although his hair was getting past his ears now and he knew he would have to cut it very soon. Turning to Jacob, he started giggling again at the sight as Jacob continued striking poses as he looked at himself in the mirror, flexing his muscles like he was a weight lifter. Seth rolled his eyes as he thought how Jacob could probably give even a professional weight lifter a run for their money. Jacob noticed Seth giggling and smiled at him as he walked over to him. As Seth took in the sight of Jacob, shirtless and muscled, sweat glistening on his russet skin , his short raven black hair spiked up and that cocky and yet kind smile, Seth began feeling his blush creep into his cheeks. Seth knew he shouldn't be having thoughts of his best friend in this way, but at the same time he's been telling himself this for years now. Jacob approached closer and closer to Seth until he had Seth backed against the dresser, their chests touching and Seth could almost feel the heat radiating off of Jacob's bare chest. Seth gulped as Jacob reach out to him.

"J..Jake?" Seth questioned nervously, but before he could say anything else, Jacob reached over Seth's shoulder and grabbed something from the dresser behind Seth. Pulling his hand back, Jacob revealed what he had grabbed. It was a black tee and he quickly pulled it over his head to cover himself up.

"Oh..uh…a tee shirt..um…" Seth stuttered, feeling stupid and embarrassed at thinking his darkest fantasy was about to come true. Jacob smirked at Seth, playfully ruffling the younger man's hair.

"Gotta cover myself up, don't I? Don't want you gawking at me all day or we'll never get anything done." Jacob said chuckling with his husky voice.

"Me?" Seth whined. " You're the one showing off in the mirror. Shouldn't you finish packing before tomorrow morning?" Seth asked incredulously. Jacob started laughing as he pushed Seth playfully.

"I guess you're right."Jacob said as he returned to his luggage which was on his bed, as he began to randomly pull clothes from his closet and stuff them messily into his bags.

As Seth turned back to looking out of the window he smiled to himself, memories of the sixteen years of his life creeping up and pulling him back through all of his emotions and experiences in a mere few seconds. He felt himself straining to keep a smile on his face as the many beautiful and painful memories of the previous sixteen years flashed before his eyes. From his early days as a child, playing with his best friend Jacob to the day he first transformed into a wolf and lost his father to the day that he fought alongside his fellow pack mates and the Cullens against Victoria's army up to today.

Seth walked back and forth from the closet to the bed, helping Jacob put more clothes into his bags, all the while trying to keep a smile on his face. Seth realized that this day would have come sooner or later. But it seemed to have come all too quickly for Seth. It had been a year. One whole year since Victoria and her army of newborns were defeated and Jacob had run away after the battle. However, after Bella and Edward had postponed any talk about marriage, Jacob returned. Seth later learned that it was because Bella had written Jacob begging him to come home. After Jacob returned, he continued his senior year at the reservation high school and now Jacob was eighteen and had just graduated from high school. Today, Seth could never have been more proud of his best friend as he prepared to head off for college, however, being sixteen, Seth felt sad at being only a sophomore and feeling left behind in school without Jacob there with him. Still, Seth couldn't have been happier for Jacob, but he couldn't help a small part of his heart from breaking at the thought of losing his best friend. He knew Jacob would be back someday but Seth couldn't shake the feeling that after today, he would lose his best friend.

"Gosh, I can't believe this is actually happening." Seth said in quiet voice. Jacob, who was busy stuffing his clothes into various suitcases stopped and looked up from his current task and studied Seth, who had drifted back to his solitary place at the window. All of a sudden, Jacob felt a bit remorseful for the entire situation. He remembered the day he had told Seth he was going away to college. Jacob had been so excited and the entire pack as well as other friends and families from the rez threw a party for him, but Jacob could clearly see how much the news of him going away was hurting Seth, even though Seth tried to hide it with his smile. Jacob felt a need and a desire to touch his friend, to embrace him and comfort him.

"Seth, you okay?" Jacob asked, walking over to Seth. Seth just laughed nervously, trying to hide his watery eyes.

"Of course. It's just…well, you're going off to college." Seth answered. Seth hung his head low, blinking furiously to keep the tears from coming from his eyes. Seth would never admit it, but he made a conscious effort to keep his tears out of sight around his fellow pack mates, including Jacob, even if he was his best friend. Seth just didn't like to be seen as the weakest, but Seth couldn't help the emotions he felt bubbling inside of him. He knew Jake wanted to go to college, but a part of Seth didn't want to let go of his friend.

"You know, it's funny. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to go to school." Jacob said, laughing as he scratched his head. This made Seth perk up with interest. He never thought he would hear Jacob say that and in a way, it gave him hope that Jacob may not leave.

"Really? But…what about football?" Seth asked curiously. Seth knew how much Jacob loved football. Jacob had played all throughout his high school career and it was one of the sole reasons that made him so popular at school and on the rez, besides being one of the best mechanics on the rez and the alpha of an entire pack of shape-shifting wolves.

"Well, honestly I always thought I would just have my fun with it while it lasted in high school. Then after graduation, I figured me and the guys would open that mechanic garage Quil and I always talked about." Jacob explained.

"Yeah, I remember Sam always talking about how much money there was to be made in a garage, especially here on the rez." Seth agreed, reminiscing back on the many times Quil and Jacob would talk about their future mechanic business.

"Yeah…but Bella kept ranting my ear off about how these are the best years of my life and I should see what else the world has to offer me outside of the rez." Jacob said.

At the mention of Bella, Seth felt like a deep hole was growing in the pit of his stomach.

"What's wrong with the rez?" Seth asked.

"What's not wrong with it?" Jacob countered, cocking an eyebrow up challengingly, smiling his cocky and yet adorable smile at Seth. Seth blushed involuntarily, trying to find the right words to counter Jacob's question.

"Well….. I know it's not perfect here but…it's still our home, I mean, we grew up here. Besides, there's a community college right here in Forks, how come you want to go all the way to Seattle? You can just go to school right here." Seth questioned. Seth knew he must sound pathetically desperate but he just couldn't understand why Jacob wanted to go and be so far away from his home…so far away from him.

"Guess I just want a change after everything that's happened these past few years. Besides, Bella's going to Seattle too. She even found some scholarships for me. It's amazing how much money people throw at you for an athletic scholarship." Jacob answered, shrugging the question off.

"So…um….you and…uh...Bella…… are friends again?" Seth inquired, trying his best to mask the emotions in his voice and his face. Jacob's face hardened a bit, as he felt his frustrations at his relationship with Bella, boil inside of him.

"Well….more or less. We're just hanging out a bit these days. Besides, it's never as if she would really date me anyway. She says she loves me, but all she wants is friendship. Though, I'm starting to get the feeling that whenever that asshole Cullen isn't fucking her, that's the only time she runs to me. I don't know…I mean…you know more than anyone I've liked her forever but……" Jacob explained, his hardened facial expression never fading as he turned back to his luggage, harshly shoving clothes into his luggage. Seth continued to stare at Jacob. Seth hated seeing Jacob like this, but he felt like it wasn't his place to say too much regarding Jacob's relationship with Bella.

As pleasant and kind as Bella seemed to be, Seth hated to admit to himself how much he felt like she had stolen his dreams. Seth knew this was a silly and immature thought, and he would never even voice this aloud, but if there was one day in history that Seth wishes he could forget, it would be the day that Bella moved to Forks. Growing up with Jacob, Seth had heard about Bella in passing since her and Jacob had been friends as kids, but Seth had never met her in person back then. Not until a year after she had moved back to Forks. Seth knew that Jacob had always had a thing for the pale skinned brunette but he never thought much of it until Bella returned to Forks and Jacob couldn't stop talking about her. It always worried Seth because deep down in his heart, he held a secret that he had been trying to keep from Jacob since they were kids.

Seth felt his heart rate quicken as he thought back on his friendship with Jacob. A friendship that for all intents and purposes seemed quite normal on the surface, but held so much more meaning than anyone could ever fathom. Seth knew he and Jacob's friendship was special, far beyond the friendship between average companions. Seth wasn't even sure when exactly when it had happened but he was sure of when he had realized it. When Seth was ten and Jacob twelve years old, they were having one of their weekly sleepovers and as Seth laid next to Jacob, Jacob, wrapped his arms around Seth and pulled him close. Jacob always told Seth that he was protecting the younger boy while he slept. But Seth never minded, in fact; he loved this feeling of being loved and cared for by the one person he loved more than all others. That night, watching Jacob sleep, Seth felt this urge to hug Jacob tighter and place his lips against Jacob's. Seth knew in that moment as he began to cry that he was in love with his best friend, and had always been. He knew for sure that he had always been attracted to the older man , even when they were kids. But he had never fully understood how much he actually loved Jacob until that night. Shaking his head to rid himself of such selfish thoughts, Seth turned back to Jacob, concern written clear across his face.

"Jake…you know I don't mean to pry but..um…I don't know…I just……." Seth began in a quiet voice but he trailed doff, not really knowing what to say. His inner voice was screaming for him to admit that he disliked Bella because he was jealous of the place she held in Jacob's heart. But how could he say that? Besides, it was much more than that. Seth didn't like seeing Jacob give his everything for Bella and still she always treated Jacob like second best. Seth felt Jacob was far too good for Bella and didn't deserve to be used and shunned that way. But Seth refrained from voicing these thoughts, however it was much harder for him to keep the sadness from breaking through his voice and showing in his eyes. Unfortunately, Jacob could see right through Seth's façade.

"Seth, what is it?" Jacob asked, losing his previous anger and frustrations, as he turned his attention away from his bags and back to Seth. Seth sighed heavily.

"Jake….it's just..…every time you give Bella a chance, she ends up hurting you. I know you really like her and all but if you keep giving your heart to her, then she's going to keep stomping on it…..and I…I just don't like seeing you hurt." Seth spoke, lowering his head not wanting to see Jacob angry at him for saying that. "I'm sorry. It's not my place." Seth apologized, but to the young man's surprise he heard Jacob chuckle. Looking up, he noticed Jacob was closer to him now, standing right beside him, but turned toward to the window just gazing out at the twilight sky.

"It's okay Seth. I know you're right. It's just…ever since our dad's introduced us, I liked her. I mean, I just knew that things could be great between Bella and I. She's that dream girl that every guy fantasizes about. She's beautiful, caring, and I can really see us having a future together, but that future always seems bleak whenever she tells me that she's going back to her real boyfriend. She's so hot and cold with me all the time. It's like one minute she wants me, the next minute she wants nothing to do with me. …..she's so damn indecisive." Jacob explained.

"You mean Edward?" Seth asked as he recalled the reason for Bella begging for Jacob to come back. It was because she was still somewhat torn about who she truly loved, and therefore her and Edward came to the compromise that they would take things slow until she figured things out.

"That Bastard." Jacob cursed, slamming his fist into the wall, making Seth jump.

"Jake…" Seth began but stopped as he found no proper words to voice what he really wanted to say. Looking toward Seth, Jacob's eyes widened as he realized he had frightened Seth and Jacob's face softened as he took Seth's hand in his own gently.

"I'm sorry Seth." Jacob apologized, his voice gentle. Seth's heart sped up at the physical contact. He felt butterflies fluttering in the pit of his stomach at the touch of Jacob holding his hand. Jacob's rough and strong hands, gripping onto Seth's softer and smaller hand.

"It's…um…it's al……It's alright." Seth stuttered out as he felt his cheeks warm up at Jacob's touch. Seth quickly turned back to the window, pulling his hand back. He knew he wanted to hold on more but this was just another example of how different and special their friendship was. It always seemed to be more underneath the surface, and Seth knew this. He knew how in love Jacob was with Bella, but still Jacob always showed such a gentle caring for Seth, as if he broke all the rules just to show Seth special attention. Focusing on the scene outside of the window, Seth stared out into the ever growing purple sky as the sun had just set, and darkness was rising, but yet the afternoon light was still present, giving the world a nostalgic mood.

"Seth…what's wrong?" Jacob asked with concern. Jacob stepped closer to Seth, wanting so much to hug his friend and comfort him. The cocky teenage jerk inside of Jacob that still lingered in the back of his mind from his adolescent days was taunting him how gay it was to hold Seth like this, but Jacob always pushed those thoughts away for Seth because to Jacob, Seth had always been different. Seth had always been special. Even the other guys in the pack would make fun of Seth for being such a girl for being the weakest and for the special attention Jacob would give Seth, but Jacob always ignored those words because to him, when he and Seth were together, they were just in their own little world and this affection was pure and natural despite them both being guys.

Seth, finding the courage to look at Jacob again, turned away from the window to his friend who towered over him. A smile graced Seth's lips at looking up at Jacob. He practically had to crane his neck up to see Jacob's face fully, and Jacob smiled back down at him sweetly.

"Jake…it's nothing. Nothing is wrong Jake. Please…just…don't worry about me. I mean, this…this is your moment…you know…..your time. I'm just so happy for you. I'm really proud of you." Seth encourage, blinking his eyes rapidly as they begun to sting with the onset of unshed tears as he was reminded that this might be one of the very few last time they will get to spend together like this. Seth tried so hard to turn away and hide his tears, but Jacob would not allow it. It hurt Jacob to see Seth like this and he grabbed Seth by the waist and turned the younger man back around to face him.

"Seth, look at me." Jacob said, taking hold of Seth's chin and gently lifting it up so the younger man was looking up at him.

"I'm just going to miss you a lot." Seth said, feeling his heart grow heavy with the realization that he wouldn't be able to see Jacob or talk to him or hang out with him like he used to. It began to settle into Seth's mind that this would change everything.

"I'll miss you too. But we'll still call each other." Jacob assured Seth. Jacob's heart began to feel heavy. He wanted this step to happened, he knew this step had to happen sometime. He wanted to go away to school and start new and forget about the hurt and pain of the past three years but it was hurting him more realizing that he was causing someone else pain. Seth, his best friend, the one who was always there for him.

"Still….it won't be the same." Seth mentioned, looking down at shoes.

"Seth…" Jacob began but couldn't find the words, as he saw the sadness in Seth's eyes.

"Just…if you make lots of new friends and stuff….try not to forget about me." Seth mumbled. Jacob was at a loss for words as his jaw dropped.

"_Does he really think I would leave him and do that to him?"_ Jacob thought.

"Seth, how could you think something like that? I would never ever forget you. How could I? You're my best friend Seth, no one could ever replace you." Jacob said with determination as he stared into Seth's eyes, trying to convince the younger man. Seth smiled at the sincerity and meaning in Jacob's words.

"But what if I call and text you every day, will you then get tired of me?" Seth tried to tease, trying to lighten up as he furiously wiped away the tears on his wet cheeks. Jacob chuckled, his low husky voice sending shutters through Seth.

"Seth, of course not. Although, it won't be the same. I'm going to miss having a puppy dog follow me around all the time." Jacob teased, holding on to Seth by his arms.

"Jake!" Seth whined, pouting out his cheeks playfully. Jacob laughed at Seth's cute features and felt his heart grow lighter.

"_Did I really just think of Seth as cute? I can't think of my friend like this but..I can't help it…he's just do damn cute when he's like this."_ Jacob thought, snickering to himself. Jacob took a hold of Seth's waist and pulled the younger man in for a hug, wrapping his strong arms around his best friend.

"I'm just kidding. Seth, I would never forget you, you know that." Jacob assured Seth, holding him tight.

"You promise?" Seth asked feeling warmth spread through him as he laid against Jacob's strong muscled chest. Seth felt so happy at being in these safe and loving arms, but sadness at the thought that these hugs would soon become few and far between. Jacob lowered his lips to Seth's ear.

"You're the best Seth, don't you ever forget that." Jacob whispered into Seth's ear, hugging Seth tighter.

"Thanks Jake." Seth spoke softly as they stayed like that for awhile, both sharing unspoken words just through their embrace. Seth knew in his heart that Jacob had only one person in his heart and it was a girl named Bella Swan. This, Seth could not change. He knew that Jacob was strictly a straight man and only broke the rules of affection for him because they were best friends and knew each other inside and out. Seth knew that no matter what, Jacob could never fully comprehend just how much Seth loved him, even if it continued to kill him to not be able to say anything and Seth new above all else he could never really tell Jacob how he truly felt. Their friendship would never survive it and Jacob meant too much to Seth for him to risk what they had. But despite all these things that Seth knew, he accepted the fact that he was still blessed and lucky enough to have Jacob in his life at all, even if it was just as a friend, and he was forever grateful that he had a guy like Jacob Black to call his best friend.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This chapter was supposed to be very short, but I have this frustrating tendency to over elaborate things. This scene is very special and important and for canonical purposes, I couldn't shove this scene in with the next chapter because this chapter occurs one year after "Eclipse", just before Jake leaves for college. The next chapter will take place one year after this, after Jacob returns home from his first year of college. I hope I'm not confusing you, hahaha. ^^ Anyway, I hope you enjoyed. Please read and review, and let me know what you think. Criticism is loved, as long as its constructive. And if you have any suggestions or things you would like to see in the story, please let me know. Thank you so much for reading.


	2. Wish of Love

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: thank you so much to (Subaku13 ) for reviewing my first chapter and giving such great input. I will continue to work hard to improve my writing and give this story my all. Again, thanks so much. ^^

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CHAPTER 2

Seth ran as fast he could through the woods, his schoolbag bouncing up and down on his back as he leaped between bushes and bramble on the dirt path that was carved through the forest floor. Seth knew very well that he wasn't supposed to cut through these woods alone like this. At least that was what he had been told as a child, but now he found these woods to be a place of serenity and tranquil beauty to observe after school had let out each day. Besides, Seth believed it was ridiculous for him to follow the main road back home when simply cutting through the woods shaved ten minutes off his walk home. Seth couldn't contain his smile as he raced through the trees, feeling the sense of freedom that he now had because it was the last day of school. Summer had always been Seth's favorite time of the year. It was times like this that Seth was happy that he was going to the rez high school because they let out early for summer break, the same time the college students were coming home; which meant that it was now time for Jacob to return home from his first year at college.

It had been one full year since Seth had bid farewell and good luck to Jacob. Seth had to admit to himself that watching Jacob leave was quite possibly one of the hardest things he had to deal with alone since Jacob had initially run away two years ago after the new born war. During the course of the past year, Seth was determined to keep his promise, and remain in constant contact with Jacob. Much to his happiness, Jacob was always there whenever he called him, and when he was down, Jacob would send him a silly text message just to get him to smile, and it worked every time. Seth knew he must've seemed like a desperate love sick puppy, but he didn't care because everyday Jacob was gone, seemed like Seth needed the older man more and more. But in the back of his mind, Seth felt a pang of sadness as he remembered that it had been a while since they had last talked. Despite his best efforts, Jacob became so busy with college life and his new friends that he began missing Seth's calls. However, Seth also knew that Bella and Jacob were now attending the same university, and a small part of him wondered if that was the reason Jacob had become so busy. Whenever Seth could catch up with Jacob, Jacob would always apologize and tell him how sorry he was that they couldn't talk often but Seth secretly wondered if maybe Jacob was just avoiding him.

"_He probably got tired of me." _Seth thought to himself. Seth immediately stopped in his tracks as the thought settled in. It hurt him to feel like the one person he loved the most didn't want to be around him anymore. _"But this is crazy? Why would he not want to be around me anymore? We've been best friends forever and…."_ Seth thought to himself, but he shook his head to rid himself of such negative thoughts. Sighing, Seth forced a smile on his face and continued on his way home, determined to remain positive and hope that this summer would bring him and Jacob back together again.

* * *

"Hey Leah!" Seth yelled as he ran through the front door of his home. Leah, who was at the kitchen table, almost completely covered with books, and wearing her glasses peered over her work to spot Seth.

"Whoa! Kid, slow down there." Leah replied amusement evident in her voice as she took her glasses off and got up from her seat to walk over to Seth. Seth smiled as he looked up at Leah. He was so proud of his sister. She had basically survived hell and back but still managed to take care of their family. Seth always hoped that someday he could be as strong as her. Almost four years ago when Sam left Leah for Emily, it almost broke Seth to see how much Leah was hurting. But Seth and Leah had always been like best friends, and despite the fact that Sam did imprint on Emily, Seth knew that Sam and Emily had been carrying on an affair behind Leah's back before Sam even properly broke up with her. Seth had always felt torn regarding the situation between Leah, Sam and Emily because Leah was his sister. He would always side with her no matter what, but he felt so disappointed that Emily and Sam, two people whom he had cared for could do something so horrible to Leah. And as a result of it, Leah was labeled as the bitter jilted ex, while Emily was practically worshipped by the rest of the pack and elders for being Sam's imprint. But no matter how much Leah had suffered, Seth always saw her struggle through it and survive because she refused to give up on life, even though Seth was the only person who knew that she had wanted to end hers so many times.

"Sorry for disrupting your study time Leah. I'm just in a bit of a rush." Seth apologized. Leah giggled, trying to cover her smile with her hand as she looked down at her adorable little brother.

"I can see that much. So…how was your last day of junior year?" Leah asked with a smile.

"Pretty boring. But I just can't believe it's finally summer. Now only one more year to go." Seth answered with glee. Leah rolled her eyes playfully.

"Jeeze kid, you're reminding me of myself when I was in high school." Leah mused.

"Where's mom?" Seth asked as he looked around and noticed the absence of his mother in her favorite place; the kitchen. It was then that Seth noticed Leah's face had become solemn.

"She said she was going by Sam's place to show Emily the new bridesmaid's dresses." Leah replied, looking down at her feet. Seth then remembered the long dreaded wedding was right around the corner. It had been four years since Sam left Leah and announced his engagement to Emily, but any talk about weddings was far from relevant with the vampire activity that had plagued Washington for the past four years, but since the war was over and Victoria was long gone, plans of the wedding had begun as Sam expressed his desire to begin a family immediately. Seth remembered staying up late holding Leah as she cried herself to sleep, coupled with the fact that Emily has asked Leah to help plan the wedding as if everything was fine.

"Oh." Seth nodded his head, regretting even asking. Leah met her brother's sad gaze and her heart swelled at seeing the concern for her, reflected in her brother's eyes. She loved her brother so much. He was the only one whom she felt she could really count on and the only one who was always there for her. She sighed and gave him an encouraging smile.

"Leah…are you…sure you're going to be okay with all this?" Seth asked with concern.

"Honestly….no. But I'll survive." Leah shrugged, a bittersweet smile gracing her face. Seth smiled back at her, his features growing into a mischievous smirk.

"You know, I always hated Emily." Seth said with a big happy grin of his face, nudging Leah a little. Leah burst into a fit of giggles as she hugged her brother, Seth returning her embrace.

"Did I ever mention you're my favorite?" Leah said, keeping her brother close. Seth nodded enthusiastically. "I love you sis and I'll always be on your side." Seth replied.

"Oh, Seth. Don't spend too much time worrying about me, okay. You'll get wrinkles." Leah said, hugging her brother again, grateful to the heaven's for blessing her with Seth. She then smiled, as she remembered something that she knew would cheer Seth up even more.

"By the way, Jake just called here looking for you, he said he he'll see you tonight at the bonfire party." Leah informed Seth, smirking at the expected smile that spread across Seth's face.

"Oh my gosh! Really? So…he's back in town now?" Seth asked, excitement causing his voice to raise a few octaves.

"Yeah, Jake said he just got home about a half an hour ago." Leah replied. Seth almost couldn't contain his excitement. He felt those familiar butterflies in his stomach that arose anytime he was around Jacob. He wanted to see Jacob as soon as possible, even if he had to run all the way to his house by himself. Dropping his schoolbag on the floor, Seth grabbed his house keys from where he left them and began walking toward the door happily.

"Um, Seth, what are you doing?" Leah asked, bewildered at her brother. Seth just smiled at her.

"Jake is back in town, I'm going to run over to his place really quick." Seth said, wondering why Leah's eyes suddenly bulged out as if she had an epiphany.

"Oh, I knew I forgot something. Like I said earlier, Jake said he would see you later at the bonfire because he would be at Bella's." Leah clarified. Seth felt like his heart just dropped down to his stomach.

"Oh." Seth replied. His happiness shrinking by the minute. Seth laughed bitterly to himself. He should have known Jake would want to spend every moment with Bella.

"_It's not enough that she gets to have him when they're at school together, but she has to hog him even when he comes home. She doesn't even care about him the way I do….."_ Seth closed his eyes and cursed himself for thinking so selfishly. He knew how special Bella was to Jacob, so he knew he shouldn't get his hopes up high.

"Well….at least I'll see him tonight. I gotta figure out what to wear." Seth said, trying to smile again and remain upbeat. Leah rolled her eyes at Seth.

"I don't know why you even want to waste your time going. It's just going to be a bunch of dipshits getting drunk and fucked up." Leah commented, as she grew annoyed at the mere thought of spending an extended amount of time with her fellow pack-mates.

"It doesn't matter. I'm just happy Jake is finally back home from school. It feels like it's been forever since Jake and I hung out together." Seth gushed, feeling himself blush at the mere thought of Jacob.

"Does mom even know that you are going to this bonfire?" Leah interrupted Seth's daydreaming.

"Well…..um…" Seth stuttered nervously, remembering that his mom would not let him go if she even knew half of the things that went on at the pack bonfires.

"Spit it out." Leah commanded, her tone motherly and chastising as she could clearly see that Seth was hiding something. Seth fidgeted a bit, feeling as if he was under an interrogation light.

"Well….Collin and I really wanted to go and so…..I was kind of hoping you could take us." Seth answered.

"Seth!" Leah practically yelled in disappointment. Seth shrunk back against the wall, feeling like a disobedient child that had been caught doing something wrong. He hated when Leah was upset with him.

"I…..I'm sorry Leah…I...I'm sorry…I know you don't want to go but I don't want to lie to mom…you know mom would never let me go when there's drinking and stuff going on. Besides, it's going to be a lot of fun. The whole pack is going to be there and Jake will be there. I really want to go Leah, please" Seth explained. Leah gave Seth a stony glare, just knowing in the end she would end up giving in to Seth's pleas.

"The pack? Like I said…a bunch of dumb dipshits." Leah muttered bitterly as she walked back to the table where her books were spread out. She placed her glasses back on her face and began reading her textbooks again, trying her best to ignore Seth. Despite school and colleges being out for summer break, Leah was a workaholic and had enrolled in summer classes at Forks community college in order to graduate sooner.

Seth pouted miserably as he ran to Leah's side, pulling on her arm gently and giving his best puppy dog face.

"Oh, please Leah. Come on Leah, please. You know mom never lets me go out anywhere unless it's with the pack. I never get to do anything, and you know I've been waiting forever for Jake to come home. Please Leah." Seth begged. Leah sighed heavily, feeling the first painful waves of a migraine coming on.

"Fine, but you owe me big time for this." Leah said with annoyance. But she broke down into a smile again looking at her brother's cute puppy face. She could never stay upset at Seth for too long.

"Oh Thank you so much Leah!" Seth said excitedly, hugging his sister tightly.

"Fine, fine, fine, now go on and get ready. We have to leave before mom gets home from Sam's." Leah said, pushing Seth away playfully.

* * *

Seth pranced around his bedroom, dancing to the music from his radio as he threw clothes from out of his closet and placed them on his bed. He wanted to find the perfect shirt to go with his new black jeans. But he couldn't figure out if he should go with the red flame tee shirt or the silver dragon graphic tee. Seth laughed to himself as she struggled with his decision. Seth had to remind himself that it probably didn't matter what he wore. He saw these guys almost every week, but still the bonfires were special and he wanted to look really cool tonight. After all, he was now seventeen and officially a rising senior in high school. Plus, Seth never wanted to turn down the opportunity to make a good impression in front of his fellow pack mates. Despite being a member of the wolf pack, Seth always felt like the oddball out and felt like the others didn't really care about him. He sighed sadly as he remembered the many times he wanted to just hang out with them, but they would always tell him he was too young. Therefore, other than patrols, they pretty much didn't spend much time with Seth.

Seth never quite understood what made him so different from the others, except for his attraction to the same sex. Even the younger pup's of the pack who were younger than him didn't hang out with him, however Seth reminded himself that this was because the younger pups in the pack kept to themselves and didn't hang with the older wolves unless it was for patrol purposes. But that's why tonight was special. The pack bonfires were very different from the local tribal bonfires for the rez community. The pack bonfire was solely for the pack, their imprints and their families and was meant to strengthen the bond between them, as Sam simply put it. Of course, whenever Paul and Quil would show up with the alcohol midway through the party, the party turned into a freak show. However, even though sometimes it seemed like the others gave him a hard time or made fun of him quite often , Seth still looked up to the pack and wanted so much to be their friends and be accepted by them. But Seth understood that if the pack knew the real him, they would surely shun him even more than they did now.

Just as Seth decided to go with the red flame t-shirt, he heard the house phone ring. Stepping out into the hallway, Seth yelled down the stairs loud enough for his sister to hear. "I got it Leah!" Seth yelled, taking the phone from the hall table, however before Seth could say hello, his ear was assaulted with a loud boyish screech.

"SETH!" Collin practically yelled through the phone, causing Seth to wince as he pulled the phone back as if it would explode at any moment.

"C...Collin?" Seth asked wearily, holding the phone at a safe distance from his ear.

"WELL WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE?" Collin asked, his young voice still irritatingly loud.

"Why are you screaming at me?" Seth asked worriedly.

"OH!..I mean, oh…sorry. My sister has her stereo on again. So what's up? Is Leah going to take us?" Collin apologized, returning his voice to a normal level.

"Yep! And guess what, Jake called my house looking for me. He said he would meet me at the bonfire tonight." Seth answered, his excitement spilling out through his tone as he gushed to Collin the good news.

"OMG! ARE YOU SERIOUS! HE'S BACK?" Collin screamed.

"Yes Colin, now please try to take it down; just a notch." Seth pleaded.

"Sorry, but how come you didn't let me know sooner? I was waiting for you to call me." Collin asked.

"Sorry, but I just got in the door when Leah told me and then I've been trying to figure out what to wear." Seth explained.

"Oh my god! I'll be right there!" Collin said quickly, before hanging up the phone.

Seth was so shocked at the abruptness of the conversation's end that he sat staring at the phone for a few moments, before laughing to himself at his friend's actions. If there was any exception to the other wolves who didn't give Seth the time of day, it would be Collin. In many ways, Collin reminded Seth of himself, however where Seth could sometimes be timid, Collin could be fiery whenever he was upset about something. However, because of his young and cute features, it always came across as just funny to Seth. But Seth was evermore grateful to Collin for their friendship. They had not always been close because they only knew each other in passing from middle school, since they were a year apart and when Collin had first phased, Seth was already out fighting the war against Victoria so they never had a chance to get acquainted. But shortly after the war they became very close once Collin became of age to enter Seth's high school. Since then, they had been great friends and Seth was glad that being part of the pack had brought them together however Seth attributes much of the birth of their friendship to the fact that both he and Collin shared a similar secret. A secret Seth discovered when he walked in on Collin kissing the closeted quarterback in the boys' locker room.

Going back to his bedroom, Seth grabbed a brush and began brushing his hair as he looked at himself in his full length mirror.

"Well, just as usual, this is as good as it gets." Seth muttered to himself sadly, looking himself up and down, not feeling one bit impressed with what he saw. He then heard a loud knocking on his door which startled him out of his thoughts.

"Fashion police, open up." A young voice said from the other side of Seth's bedroom door. Seth giggled, knowing immediately who it was as he went to open the door.

"Hey Collin." Seth greeted happily, holding the door open for Collin to walk in. Colin returned the smile, looking Seth up and down and whistling.

"Hey man, you look hot in that. You didn't need my help at all." Collin complimented, appraising Seth.

"You think so?" Seth asked anxiously, pulling on his black denim jeans and red t-shirt.

"Jake's going to love you in that." Collin said excitedly, lounging himself across Seth's bed. Seth's face fell a little at Collin's words. He knew Collin was supportive of him, but he was disheartened by the reality of the situation.

"Sorry." Collin apologized sheepishly, guessing what was running through Seth's mind.

"No, it's okay. I need to just get over it. I mean, he and Bella are practically an item, I don't know why I think I have a chance with him." Seth replied, an encouraging; and yet fake smile on his face.

"Seth, don't be like that. You and Jake have been best friends since forever, and you've been in love with him forever. That has to count for something." Collin assured Seth.

"You know just as much as I do that Jake is not gay." Seth said, taking a seat next to Collin on the bed. Collin sat up, perking up at this point in the conversation.

"You could fool me with the way you two used to flirt with each other." Collin muttered, a sly smile on his face. Seth whipped his head to glare at Collin, a flustered and shocked look on his face. Collin merely began laughing.

"What? We do not flirt with each other, that's just how Jake is, you know that. He's just very…touchy with me!" Seth stammered.

"All I know is, it's obvious that you too are friends and care for each other, so the very least you could do is give him the benefit of a doubt. Just be honest with him. Who knows, maybe he's waiting for you to make the first move." Collin admitted honestly. Seth rolled his eyes at Collin's advice.

"Yeah right. I probably shouldn't say anything. I don't want him to rip off my head." Seth replied sadly.

"Oh come on. Jake's temper isn't that bad." Collin countered, laughing. Seth looked at Collin disbelievingly.

"Um….are we talking about the same Jake?" Seth asked incredulously, giving Collin an amused look.

"Well, his temper is not that bad around you. Honestly, I think you calm the beast in him. Besides, he treats you differently anyway…it's like he gives you special treatment, believe me; everyone notices this." Collin pointed out reassuringly. Seth blushed profusely, looking down at his feet, trying his best to not look too happy at Collin's words.

"And Besides, how will you ever know if you have a chance with him unless you take a chance?" Collin asked sincerely. At these words, Seth rolled his eyes, turning to Collin.

"Um….Collin, shouldn't you be taking your own advice?" Seth countered, laughing at the younger boy.

"As a matter of fact, I will be…..um…starting next year." Collin announced with a nervous smile on his face.

"That's what you said last year." Seth reminded, reminding them both of Collin's goal to be braver.

"Hey, I'm making progress okay. I can now be around him without stuttering like an idiot." Collin pointed out happily.

Seth giggled at his friend's statement. Just as Seth had confided in Collin his secret love for Jacob, Collin had also confided in Seth his love for Embry. Something which came as a bit of a shock to Seth at first, as Seth was not even aware that Collin knew Embry that well, but Collin had expressed how he grew up watching Embry from a distance all his life, but never able to get close to him since neither of them knew each other or had friends at the time that knew each other. It was for this reason that Collin had admitted he was grateful for being a part of the pack because he knew it would take a miracle to finally meet Embry, let alone just become his friend. And like Seth, Collin had been too hindered by his fear of rejection to ever directly approach Embry. Instead, he hoped everyday that Embry would just look his way.

"Well, our situations are very different. You know, if you ever get to know Embry, you could probably tell him how you feel about him. I mean, I've always liked Embry….he's always stood out from the other guys because he's always been kind of nice to me, even thought we don't really talk. Plus..um…he's really cute too" Seth said the last part, laughing nervously. Collin joined in, nodding his head along to Seth's comment.

"Yeah, he really is. But…what I wouldn't give for him to just talk to me,…to say anything, even just a hello." Collin mused dreamily as he sank back into Seth's bed, dreaming of the tall and tanned handsome young man whom he has loved since he first saw him.

"Aww, young puppy love." Seth teased in a fake romantic voice, giggling afterward. Collin sat up quickly at this and glared at Seth.

"Don't call me a puppy! Need I remind you that we are only one year apart." Collin whined, pouting his cheeks out which only made Seth laugh even harder.

"You two would be so cute together, I really think you should tell him." Seth said happily.

"I wish I could, but it's like he doesn't even see me. It's like I don't even exist." Collin answered, his sadness over his unrequited feelings taking over him.

"Why are we so pathetic?" Seth asked, leaning against Collin's shoulder.

"Beats me, I guess we're just good at it." Collin answered, which caused both of them to bust out into fits of laughter.

* * *

Despite giving her consent to drive the boys to the bonfire which was being held down at the beach, Leah made Seth and Collin beg her continuously before she would even start the car, laughing the entire way at Seth and Collin's pleading. So when they finally arrived, the boys were all too eager to jump out of the car.

"Let me at least put the car in park first." Leah called out after Seth and Collin as they ran ahead to where their pack mates were gathered around the bonfire.

Seth felt his heart grow excited at being here among his pack members. Everyone was here, from wolves to their imprints and their close friends from the rez as well as the Makah tribe. Some of the pack members trucks were parked close to the beach, blasting out loud music as many of the pack members and their imprints indulged themselves in the heaping amounts of food, drinks and embarrassing dancing. Seth laughed to himself. Although there were many differences between them as individuals, together the pack was strong and it was among the pack Seth felt a sense of purpose and a reason for being.

In the midst of all the fun and commotion, Seth caught site of Jacob and he almost burst out into a fit of laughter. In the midst of the dancing group was Jacob, Sam and Paul, who were most probably drunk as hell as they all tried to rap along loudly to the vulgar lyrics of the music blasting from their trucks. Seth and Collin were both near giggles by this time, it was like watching a really bad rap video. Everyone else was gathered around the trio of rapping men, cheering them on or dancing like drunken idiots.

Seth could see Jared who had been caught by Kim and forced to dance with her. Emily and Claire, were desperately running around trying to serve food to everyone while looking as if they were trying not to laugh at all the commotion, while Rachel was busy giving a drink to anyone who was without one until Quil snatched her by the waist and led her into dancing.

Off to the side, he could see Embry and Bella talking, laughing at the party and Seth felt somewhat sick at seeing the pale girl here once again. But he was happy that Embry was here, thinking maybe he could find a way to get the older man and Collin to talk to each other. As always, Brady was missing so Seth didn't bother scanning the crowd for him. Everyone knew Brady was a loner and never liked coming to the parties. The other seven members of the wolf pack were dancing around and drinking as well. These were Logan, Michael and Kyle who were all eighteen followed by Wyatt, Nathan and Trent who were only sixteen. Followed lastly by Elijah who was actually the same age as Sam. Like Leah, Elijah was also looked at as sort of anomaly among the pack only for Elijah it was for being the first wolf to phase at such an older age. All of them were the latest addition to the pack, as they had first phased around the same time last year, shortly after the war against Victoria. They were all having a goodtime, dancing with their respective girlfriends or imprints. Strangely, Seth had always found it so bizarre that most of the new additions to the pack had already found their mates, while some of the veteran and older pack members had still yet to imprint such as himself, Leah, Jacob, Paul, Collin and Embry.

Leah finally caught up to Seth and Collin who were swaying to the heavy beats reverberating from the truck's speakers. Leah rolled her eyes at the commotion, a look of boredom crossing her face.

"We came here, for this?" Leah questioned. Seth just giggled but before he could answer, he heard himself being called by someone.

"Seth! You guys made it." Jacob yelled from where he was sitting. Jacob had given up on his rapping and was sitting beside Bella, a beer in one hand waving Seth over frantically with his other hand. Seth felt a bit discouraged at the sight of Bella. The pack bonfires were supposed to be for just the pack and their imprints, and Bella was neither of these things but Seth chastised himself at the selfish thought, knowing that Bella was a nice girl and he shouldn't think so terribly of her. But his heart fluttered at the sight of Jacob. He hadn't seen Jacob since winter break and even then, because of Jacob's busy schedule they only got to hang out for one day, but seeing Jacob now after so long, Seth wanted nothing more to run to the man he had called his best friend for almost the entirety of his life. Seth noticed Jacob wearing his trademark short spiked hair and that irresistible cocky smirk on his face. He also saw Jacob had put on some more muscle, if that was even possible, Seth thought to himself. Though Seth concluded Jacob had probably been working out a lot since he was playing for the University's football team coupled with his natural wolf gene. But that unforgettable smile and those kind eyes which were only for him made Seth's stomach do flips inside out. Seth felt as if he was falling in love with Jacob all over again, just by looking at him.

"Hey Jake!" Seth said as he walked over to where Jacob, Quil, Embry and Bella were standing, followed by Leah and Collin who were following Seth.

"Seth, get your ass over here and give me a real hug." Jacob said as Seth approached closer. Seth was all smiles by this time and as he walked over to wrap his arms around Jacob, his foot got caught in the sand and he fell forward, about to hit the sand head first, but before he could meet the ground Jacob rushed forward and pulled him into an embrace.

"Whoa! Easy there." Jacob sad, holding Seth in his arms. Quil, Embry and Collin started laughing at Seth's clumsiness while Leah and Bella did their best not to giggle.

"Nice one Seth, very graceful." Quil said laughing loudly. Seth looked down, feeling embarrassed as a blush rose to his cheeks.

"Uh…um…sorry." Seth apologized sheepishly. Jacob patted Seth on the back and smirked.

"It's no problem. If I recall correctly, I'm used to saving your ass." Jacob teased.

"Jake!" Seth whined. Everyone started laughing at Seth's pouting.

"I'm just kidding, I'm just kidding, come here." Jacob said, pulling Seth back into his strong arms.

"Jake, you're killing me here." Seth sighed breathlessly as Jacob was crushing the younger man in his iron grip.

"Oh my God, Jake are you crazy? Let him go." Bella said, pulling Jacob off of Seth. Bella smiled apologetically at Seth.

"Jeeze Seth, it's just my trademark bear hug, not too tough for you is it?" Jacob teased.

"Yeah right, you wish." Seth countered. Quil sighed as if he was agitated and began snickering.

"My god, why don't you two just get married already? The Bromance is killing me here." Quil teased, laughing.

"Quil, shut up." Embry said with a chuckle, nudging Quil in his ribs. Collin who was standing beside Seth, took this moment to walk up to Embry.

"Um…Hey Embry." Collin greeted shyly, smiling up at the taller man.

"Oh…um…hey kid." Embry nodded his head in return, with a small smile.

"_Collin, my name Is Collin, not kid." _Collin thought to himself, feeling disappointed at Embry's lack of attention.

"Hey guys." Seth said, finally greeting Embry and Quil.

"How you been Seth?" Embry offered him a knuckle touch, which Seth returned enthusiastically.

"I been alright I guess. Same old, same old." Seth replied. Suddenly Quil had snuck up behind Seth and held him in an iron grip hug as he used his other to hold to Seth's head as if measuring him.

"Uh, Quil, let me go." Seth whined.

"Jake look, its' been a year and Seth still hasn't grown one bit." Quil said, patting his hand on Seth's head mockingly. Seth folded his arms across his chest childishly.

"Yes I have." Seth defended himself.

"No, I'm pretty sure you didn't. I guess you're just destined to be a little runt for the rest of your life." Jacob said as he patted Seth on his head too as if he were just a little puppy. Everyone laughed at this and began patting Seth on his head, which did not amuse Seth one bit as he tried to push their hands away.

"Will you guys stop!" Seth whined, causing the others to laugh at him again.

"Well Seth, now that they mention it…I think you've stopped growing. Leah said, finally joining in the fun.

"Yeah man, I think even Collin has gotten a little taller than you now." Quil said, wrapping an arm around Collin's shoulders appraisingly, while looking down at Seth and laughing.

"I'm not short, okay. You're all just giants, sheesh." Seth whined.

"Well, look at the time. We would have passed up this wonderful celebration but you know Seth practically worships the ground you walk on Jake, so we had to come." Leah said with a smile looking at her watch.

"Leah!" Seth reprimanded, which she ignored by punching Seth lightly on the arm.

"So, you guys going to stay all night? There's going to be skinny dipping." Quil said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Really?" Collin asked excitedly, which made everyone look at him with shock and slight amusement.

"Yeah, it's sort of a truth or dare game. We've all got a bet going. We're totally out to get Jared piss drunk and get him to strip first so we can take his clothes and ditch." Quil said snickering.

"As tempting as that sounds, I think I'll pass. I'll be back later to pick Seth and Collin up." Leah said.

"Hey Leah, don't worry about it. One of us can drive them back." Jacob said with a smile, wrapping an arm around Seth's shoulder.

"Oh, um…okay. Just don't let them drink, okay." Leah said, her voice serious.

"Oh come on Leah." Seth pleaded, giving her his wide innocent eyes.

"Seth, I mean it!" Leah said, her voice raising just a few notches.

"Don't worry. We'll keep a vigilant eye on Seth and Collin." Embry said calmly

"Yeah, we all will. Come on now, we haven't got all night. I feel like dancing again" Quil said.

"Leah, you're not staying?" Bella asked curiously. Leah merely shook her head in answer.

" Surprise, Surprise." Embry said with a chuckle. Giving her a knowing look.

"Very funny. But you guys have fun, and be safe." Leah answered.

"Oh don't worry. I made sure of it. I got condoms for everyone" Quil said, which caused everyone to laugh.

"Dumbass." Leah muttered, trying her best not the laugh even though she found it funny. "Anyway, see you guys later." Leah said, walking back to her car. Quil asked Bella to go dancing even though she warned him she was terrible and they walked back over to where the commotion was followed by Embry who Collin was following like a lost puppy.

Once they were alone, Jacob smiled sweetly at Seth.

"So Seth, you want something to drink?" Jacob said with a smirk, handing his drink to Seth. Seth started laughing as he took the drink in his hand, but couldn't bring himself to take a sip.

"Jake, you're so bad." Seth said laughing. Jacob merely raised his hands in surrender.

"Hey, what your sis doesn't know won't hurt her. Just don't overdo it. I don't want Leah to kill me later." Jacob replied.

* * *

As Leah pulled her keys from her back pocket, she stopped and put a hand to her stomach as the grumbles of hunger overcame her. Glancing at the nearby table that was laden with food. Leah walked over looked at all the food that she was pretty sure Emily had prepared. Leah smiled, remembering how as younger girls, her and Emily used to spend hours in the kitchen cooking together, pretending they were chefs. Picking up a plate, Leah helped herself to the chicken salad, until memories of the past four years flooded her mind. Sam breaking up with her, Finding Sam and Emily having sex in her bed, changing into a wolf for the first time…it was too much for Leah, she felt her insides churn as she rushed to the nearby trash can and hurled up everything she had just eaten.

Leah cried, as she thought f everything she had lost. All because of the wolf gene that was inside her. The accursed gene that had doomed her for eternity. Despite feeling like she was cursed, the tribal elders tried to assure her that she was a blessing and a miracle as the first female wolf, but Leah knew better, She knew that they pitied her. She was labeled by everyone on the rez as the girl who was left for her nicer and prettier cousin. She was known as the girl who wasn't good enough for the almighty Sam, so he dumped her. Even when Leah tried to fight to see the positive side of things she failed. Being a female wolf meant her body was frozen, which meant no monthly cycle. And no cycle meant she could never have children, which is why Leah believed she was cursed. If she could never have children she could never imprint either because Sam had told her time and time again that imprinting was to produce new wolves and how could a freak like her ever imprint and more importantly who would ever imprint on her when she couldn't bear any children?

It was just so damn painful to watch Sam and Emily and know that Sam would never love her again. Not the way he loved precious Emily. Leah had tried to explain to Sam how much it was killing her to lose him, but Sam said she would get over it with time. She remembered Sam's cruel words so clearly.

"_Leah, I know we loved each other but you could never understand…an imprint is much greater than what we ever had, so just let it go. Forget about what we had, it's for the best. Besides, I have Emily now. She means the world to me. She's the one I love the most now."_ Sam had said to her.

Leah couldn't understand why God hated her so much. Not only did she lose the love of her life, but she also lost him to her cousin who once was like a sister to her. Just the thought of it all made Leah hurl again. How could Sam and Emily keep an affair going on behind her back like that? And then act as if nothing was wrong, justifying it by saying they were meant to be together. How could Sam do this to her? How could the god's curse her like this?

Snapping out of her inner thoughts, Leah reached for a cup of water from the food table and took a sip before spitting it out. Watching the others have so much fun, she knew she could never find happiness like what they had. But she would accept it. She had to. At least for the sake of her family, she would take whatever punches life through her. Turning back around to head back to her car, Leah bumped into someone who fell back. As Leah looked at who she had collided with, her stomach dropped. It was Emily….

"Oh! I'm sorry." Emily said weakly, getting up from the ground.

"Um..sorry…..." Leah muttered before walking away. She couldn't deal with this right now. She couldn't face those kind eyes that she knew looked down on her.

"Um…L….Leah…wait up." Emily called after her, but Leah continued walking quickly.

"Leah, please…." Emily begged, her voice on the verge of breaking into a sob.

Leah wanted to scoff.

"_Why is she sad? She's the one that has everything. She has Sam, the whole pack loves her like their own family and most of all she will someday have Sam's children…the ones he promised me long ago."_ Leah thought sadly in her head.

"What do you want Emily? I'm busy." Leah said in low tone.

"Please…Leah…I miss you. I miss you so much. I hate us not talking and..oh Leah, please…don't let this come between us." Emily pleaded.

"I didn't want it to Emily…but what choice do I have? You took something that meant the world to me…and now I can never get it back." Leah answered seriously.

"Leah, I…I didn't choose this. I…I would give anything to spare you the pain that Sam and I put you through but…..it's been four years since Sam and I have been together. Can't we just….can't we just put this behind us…I never meant to…" Emily tried to explain but Leah quickly cut her off.

"Don't Emily." Leah warned.

"Leah, I'm sorry but you have to understand that….I tried so much to stay away from him but….I couldn't. I couldn't just neglect him when he told me I was his imprint. We were fated to be together. I…I love him. Can't you understand?" Emily said.

"I do Emily and it's perfectly alright." Leah said in a calm tone. Emily's eyes widened in hope and yet disbelief.

"It is?" Emily asked.

"Yes, but you also have to understand that by gaining Sam, you lost me." Leah said, closing her eyes as fresh tears fell.

"Leah please…." Emily said, walking closer to Leah, but Leah just backed away.

"What am I supposed to do Emily? I even have to help you with the wedding. Isn't that enough?" Leah asked in loud snapping voice.

"All I ever wanted was our friendship back? Is that too much to ask?" Emily asked back just as hotly. Leah was stunned as she drew back even more, scared that if Emily pushed her anymore, she would lose control and take away what Emily had left of her beautiful face. But Leah knew she couldn't do that. No matter what, Emily was still her family whether she liked it or not.

"I can't even look at you the same way anymore, how can we ever go back to being friends?" Leah snapped as she ran from Emily, trying desperately to keep her sobs from breaking her. Her tears taking a hold of her as she jumped in the car and sped away.

* * *

The night continued to drag on with fun and games until the dancing had finally died down and Sam and Paul finally cut the music. Everyone was now huddled around the bonfire closely as Sam and Jacob announced the start of the first pack meeting of the summer. Seth realized now that it was probably a good idea that he did come, otherwise he would have missed this meeting. In the back of his mind he thought Leah should be here too, but he knew her reasons for not showing up to many of the pack's gatherings, only showing up when it was absolutely necessary.

Seth marveled at the way Jacob presided over the pack meeting, with Sam flanking him as his Beta. Seth had remembered Jacob originally offering the position to Leah, but she had turned it down as she had decided she would like to move further and further away from pack life and stop phasing as soon as possible. But because of this Seth became more and more aware of the hierarchal structure of the pack, with Jacob being the alpha and Sam his second in command, followed b y Jared, Paul, Quil and Embry. Seth supposed Leah would have been in that chain of command as well, but because of the misconception that was believed by many about Leah being the bitter ex, many in the pack didn't respect her.

"So, Sam has told me that you guys have been dealing with nomads recently." Jacob said, his alpha voice ringing clear through the pitch black night.

"Yeah, pretty much." Jared replied, everyone else muttering and nodding in agreement.

"We're not really sure how they're getting in or where exactly they're coming from. Though, for the most past we seem to be tracking their scents going south. And it hasn't just been one or two, we're looking at a coven of three or four cold ones traveling together through this region. So far we've been able to put them down with ease but who knows when the next coven will try to come through, that's why we've been increasing our vigilance as well as patrols." Sam explained in his deep voice.

"Tell me about." Elijah scoffed, rolling his eyes. Seth turned to look at Elijah and saw him standing the farthest way, looking upon the others with a sense of disdain in his eyes. When Seth first met Elijah, he discovered that out of all the wolves, Elijah was probably he most resistant to the wolf pack. Maybe even just as much if not more than Leah. But Seth learned that for Elijah, it wasn't because of the pack life taking away his lover and best friend, like in Leah's case. For Elijah, it was because he despised the fact that the wolf gene had forced him to stay on the rez despite his wishes to move away from his family once and for all.

"You got something you want to say?" Paul said hotly, approaching Elijah, who knew Paul's temper and began backing up.

"No, just don't see why we all have to work overtime. Some of us actually want a life outside of this pack, okay." Elijah argued back just as angrily. Paul and Jared both jumped at him as the others jumped up in surprise and Jacob and Sam approached Elijah as if he was a bad dog to be put down.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Quil shouted at Elijah.

"You belong to the pack, which means you're bound to us whether you fucking like it or not!" Sam said to Elijah angrily.

"That doesn't mean I have to like it!" Elijah countered. The imprints and some of the younger wolves gasp at this knowing you NEVER back talked an alpha, beta or any higher level wolf. Jacob's face turned stony and Seth knew this wouldn't end well. Jacob walked calmly up to Elijah before punching the man in his jaw hard enough to break it. Elijah fell to the ground with a whimper at being disciplined by the alpha. Jacob kneeled down low enough to Elijah's face and pulled at the collar of his shirt, bringing their faces close together.

"Listen good you dog, Sam is my beta, which means in my absence he has the authority to act in my place. So if he tells you more patrol, don't give us a shit about it, just do your fucking patrol, do you understand?" Jacob said dangerously with a growl.

"Um..y..yes." Elijah whimpered, nodding his head furiously as Jacob let him go. Elijah scrambled back up from the ground and didn't utter another word the whole night.

"Alright, listen up. Tomorrow morning we're going to split up into teams and cover more land. I didn't really know just how bad the situation had gotten, but we'll scout the area from here all the way to Canada if we have to. I don't want any more blood fuckers on our land, got it!" Jacob said in a commanding voice.

"Right." All the wolves said in unison like an army.

Seth who was sitting the farthest in the back of the group got up and walked away down towards the water. He hated when things in the pack got to this heated level and the pack started fighting like this. It just never felt right to even be present when it happened so Seth instantly wanted to leave. Collin gave Seth a curious look, before getting up and following Seth.

"Seth?" Collin called out to Seth who had taken off his shoes to wiggle his toes in the wet sand.

"Seth, you okay?" Collin asked again, concerned for his friend.

"Um…yeah, I'm fine." Seth muttered lowly, turning around to face his friend and gave him an encouraging nod to let him know he was okay.

"I just wanted to get some air is all." Seth replied.

"Oh, okay." Collin said, coming to stand beside Seth.

"Am I…interrupting?" Jacob asked from behind them. Colin and Seth both jumped a little as they turned around to see Jacob smiling at them.

"Oh! Um…Jake...uh…" Seth stuttered as his cheeks began to warm at seeing Jacob in the moonlight, looking down on him.

"No, we were just chillin'. You wanna join?" Collin asked cheerfully.

"Actually, do you mind if I borrow Seth for a moment alone?" Jacob asked, a coy smile playing on his lips. Jacob walked over to Seth, standing next to the younger man in a possessive stance.

"Not at all, go on, he's yours. See you two later." Collin said cheerfully, walking back over toward the others at the bonfire.

"You alright Seth? You looked kind of...sad back there." Jacob asked with concern.

"Oh..um..you saw me? I'm fine. I just wanted to get some fresh air." Seth tried to cover up but Jacob sighed and moved closer to Seth, staring the younger man in the eyes.

"Seth, you know if you need to talk….you can come to me. You don't have to always run to Collin." Jacob said an almost sad tone in his husky voice. Seth looked up to Jacob in surprise. He had no idea Jacob could ever feel jealous over his friendship with Collin.

"J….Jake…I don't always talk to Collin first, you know that. You and I have been best friends since we were kids." Seth explained.

"So you wouldn't keep anything from me would you? You would tell me first, right?" Jacob asked sincerely.

"Um…uh…..of course I wouldn't keep anything from you, besides, you know you're always first." Seth answered.

"Good." Jacob replied, a cocky smile on his face.

They both looked at the pitch black night sky, as it met the dark water on the horizon, sprinkled by the luminescent stars that shimmered in the sky. It was moments like these that Seth felt was pure magic. Just being in this place which held so many memories with the one person he loved; Jacob.

"Look at that view." Seth said in almost a whisper.

"Well, home sweet home, right?" Jacob muttered more to himself as he took in the view of the moon and the crashing waves in the night.

"Yep. It's not perfect, but its home." Seth added.

"Yeah, I'm just glad to be able to come home and not have to deal with the Cullens anymore." Jacob said with a heavy sigh. Seth thought about his statement as he nodded in understanding. He understood how hard it was for Jacob to be with Bella when Edward and the Cullens were around. Unfortunately, Seth understood that as long as Jacob and Bella were friends, the entire pack would always have to deal with the vampire family.

"You don't see any of them anymore?" Seth inquired curiously, knowing that Edward attended the same college as Bella and Jacob.

"No, and I'm not complaining either." Jacob said with a small laugh.

"But I thought they go the same school as you and Bella." Seth questioned.

"They do. But we sort of have a new treaty of our own. We stay out of each other's way." Jacob explained, his tone becoming very serious in a way that warned Seth not to press further.

"Oh." Seth merely spoke, not knowing what to do or how to feel about the situation.

"I don't care really. It's not like I ever particularly got along with any of them. Maybe we can finally move on with our lives now that the war is over." Jacob added.

"Well, I'm just happy that after the war, you didn't decide to just run off and never come back." Seth said, looking up at Jacob.

"It's not like she would have missed me anyway." Jacob muttered angrily. Seth looked down at his hands, unsure of how to handle this situation. He knew how much Jacob loved Bella but….he couldn't help resent the pale girl for putting Jacob through so much.

"That's not true Jake...she's your friend." Seth assured him, placing hand on Jacob's shoulder. Jacob felt strangely calm instantly at Seth's touch and a part of him wanted more as he instinctively leaned into Seth, hugging the shorter young man.

"Jake…please…just…promise me you won't leave me again." Seth said in almost a whisper. Jacob pulled back to look at Seth, staring into those wide innocent eyes.

"Huh?" Jacob asked.

"It's just…Jake...if something ever happened to you…I…I really don't know what I'd do. You're my best friend and I care about you a lot…." Seth explained. "Jake…..I'm sorry." Seth muttered an apology as a lone tear escaped his eyes, memories of Jacob running away after the war coming back to him. It was as if Jacob could sense what Seth was referring to, and he instantly felt guilty for putting Seth through that. He should have known what it would do to his best friend and Jacob knew that he hadn't been the best friend to Seth this past year. He let his school and personal life get in the way, even though Seth needed him.

"I'm sorry Seth. I'm sorry…..I haven't been here for you. It's not that I don't want to be here for you or that I want to leave La push it's just…hard sometimes to look at her and see those two together, it's just…." Jacob apologized, moving closer to Seth and setting a comforting arm around the younger man's shoulder.

"I know it's hard for you Jake but, think about all the people who would hurt if you had left La Push. When you said you wanted to lose your life in the war, I…it scared me so badly. What if I lost my best friend?" Seth said as his cracked, his fear of losing Jacob causing emotions to surface in him. Seth tried with all his might to hold these fears back. Jacob looked down into Seth's eyes and felt so much guilt for causing his best friend to feel this way.

"I'm sorry. I was just being a selfish ass I guess. I never realized what leaving or throwing my life away would do to you. But I should have known better. I know if anyone cares for me at all, it's you." Jacob said, pulling Seth closer.

"Jake, you're my best friend, how can you think I would want to live without you?" Seth asked, smiling gently up at Jacob.

"Okay, now I know you've been watching too much lifetime with Leah. Your sister is turning you into a girl." Jacob said laughing.

"I know, I know." Seth said, giggling as well. Jacob instantly remembered the surprise he had been holding in his back pocket for Seth, and now seemed like a perfect time to give it to him.

"Oh! By the way, I almost forgot something." Jacob said as he reached into his back pocket.

"What is it?" Seth asked excitedly, his smile growing. Seth never expected for Jacob to give him a surprise tonight.

"Close your eyes and open your hand." Jacob ordered.

"Jake, what's going on?" Seth asked happily as he closed his eyes.

"Just keep your eyes closed." Jacob said with an impatient sigh.

"Okay." Seth replied, doing as he was told. Seth felt Jacob take one his hands gingerly and open it, placing something cool and metallic in his palm, and then closing his hand around it.

"What is this?" Seth asked excitedly.

"Open your eyes." Jacob finally said, a happy grin on his face as Seth opened his eyes to see in his hand a silver chain with a small silver dream catcher dangling from the chain. In the center of the dream catcher was a small gemstone, and Seth's eyes widened in surprise as he recognized the sapphire stone as his birthstone.

"Jake…oh my gosh, where did you get this?" Seth asked.

"So you like it, huh?" Jacob asked knowingly. "I really wanted to get you something special for your belated birthday present." Jacob said.

"Of course I like it. It's awesome." Seth rejoiced, examining almost every detail of the necklace.

"Here, let me put it on you." Jacob took the necklace from Seth and stepped behind him to latch it around Seth's neck.

"Jake..this is really nice. I don't know…if I can ever repay you for this." Seth muttered as he looked down at the treasure that hung around his neck.

"Dude, it's a gift. You don't have to pay me back for anything. Seth, you're a really great friend; you more than deserve it. Besides, I'm the jerk that forgot your birthday so this is way overdue." Jacob said.

"Jake, you couldn't help that. You were away at school and…." Seth began, but Jacob cut him off.

"That's a poor excuse. I didn't even call you until days later." Jacob interrupted.

"You were busy though." Seth countered.

"Seth, stop making excuses for me. I was a jerk, and I'm sorry. Seth, you're my best friend and sometimes I don't treat you like it but, I hope you'll forgive me." Jacob muttered lowly, feeling ashamed for not treating Seth like a real friend.

"Jake, you really shouldn't have." Seth said as tears slid down his cheeks. Jacob chuckled at Seth before pulling him in tight hug.

"Damn, if I knew I would get this kind of reaction out of you than maybe I should buy you gifts more often." Jacob said, laughing at Seth's bizarre reaction.

"I feel like a dork, crying like this." Seth muttered, trying desperately to wipe away his tears. He attempted to pull out of Jacob's grasp. But Jacob held Seth tighter, running his large hand through Seth's dark raven locks.

"You are a dork, Seth." Jacob said, ruffling Seth's hair. "But you're my dork and don't' forget that."

* * *

After the bonfire, Jacob brought Seth back to his house to sleepover until the next morning. Seth knew Jacob would have to be up really early for a patrol and told Jacob he would just walk home, but Jacob wouldn't hear any of that, so he practically dragged Seth back to his car and took him home. Secretly Seth was happy that Jacob wanted to spend more time with him, but he didn't want Jacob to feel put out because of him.

As it was already past one in the morning, Jacob and Seth quickly got ready for bed. Billy was thrilled to see Seth, even though he was grumpy at Jacob for coming in so late. He tiredly gave Seth some extra blankets before heading back to bed himself, leaving Seth and Jacob to themselves. After taking his shower, Seth slipped into his favorite light blue cotton pajamas and trudged back to Jacob's bedroom carrying a load of blankets. Stepping into the room, Seth almost felt his heart skip a beat at the sight of Jacob's shirtless body, as Jacob was pulling his shirt off and grabbing some bathroom essentials from his bag. Seth slowly walked into the room, keeping his eyes down, not noticing the strange look Jacob was giving him.

"Dude, what's all those for? You got a cold or something?" Jacob asked, cocking an eyebrow at the sight of the many blankets in Seth's arms. Seth blushed, shaking his head as he set the blankets down on the floor and proceeded to make himself a sleeping pallet, trying his best to ignore the sexual fantasies that were assaulting his mind at just seeing Jacob's body.

"Um…no…no silly. I just brought them to sleep." Seth said giggling nervously. Jake laughed at Seth as he kneeled down to take the blankets out of Seth's grasp.

"Seth, there's no need. I made the bed up for you." Jacob smiled widely, waving at the neatly made bed.

"Jake." Seth whined childishly. Jacob just rolled his eyes at Seth.

"Dude, don't' worry. I put fresh sheets on this time." Jacob said laughing, remembering the time Seth had come over and told Jacob his bedroom smelled like sweaty balls.

"Jake, you don't have to do that. This is your house. I'm not going to take your bed. I'll just make a pallet on the floor." Seth said, going back to his blankets. However, Jacob wasn't going to listen to Seth go on about this and stopped him from retrieving his blankets from the floor.

"Well I'm not sleeping in the bed while you're on the cold floor." Jacob countered.

"That's why I have these blankets. It's no big deal. Besides, we're practically like heaters Jake." Seth answered. Jacob glared at Seth for making this so difficult. Jacob had to laugh to himself, because for as long as Jacob had known Seth; the kid was just too polite for his own good. He could never just take a kind gesture without turning it down first. And in the back of his mind, Jacob didn't really mind the idea of sleeping next to Seth.

"_What? Whoa, what the fuck am I thinking? Seth's a guy and my best friend."_ Jacob thought to himself, banishing his strange thoughts away. But he couldn't help chuckling as he looked down at Seth, noticing how cute he was.

"Why do you always have to be so stubborn?" Jacob asked with a mischievous smirk on his face.

"I thought that was your department?" Seth replied.

"Oh yeah?" Jacob said as he suddenly tackled Seth into a bear hug and pushed him back onto the bed. Seth was completely shocked and helpless as Jacob held him down, and began tickling him furiously. Seth lashed out playfully, trying his best to get free as he laughed until tears came to his eyes. Jacob just snickered at his helpless friend as he continued his assault on Seth's stomach.

"Jake, stop! Jake, I'm serious I…." Seth cried, gasping for air, as he tried to wiggle out of Jacobs hold, but Jacob was too strong for Seth. With just one hand, Jacob pinned both of Seth's wrist on the bed above the younger man's head, while using his other hand to continue his relentless tickling of Seth's stomach and sides.

"So you're going to take the bed, right?" Jacob asked threateningly.

"Jake, STOP! Please! Okay, okay, okay, I'll take the bed." Seth cried out, tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. Seth tried to calm his breathing when he suddenly felt something on his groin, like a stiff muscle but he couldn't understand what it was until he looked down and was shocked to clearly see Jacob's large erection through his sweat pants.

"_What the….why is Jacob hard like that?"_ Seth asked himself. Jacob still had both if Seth's arms pinned down and he could feel his lower half becoming aroused at the position he was in, straddling Seth dominantly.

"_Shit...that almost felt good. What the fuck is wrong with me?"_ Jacob asked himself, but he didn't let his emotions show on his face. He just smiled kindly as he climbed off of Seth, smacking the younger man's ass teasingly to lighten up the tense mood in the room. Seth blushed at feeling Jacob's hand against his ass in such a provocative way which Jacob noticed, smirking at his friend.

"Go on then, get your scrawny ass in that bed." Jacob said with a cocky smile on his face. Seth stuck his tongue out playfully at Jacob, feeling defeated.

"I so hate you right now." Seth muttered as he crawled into Jacob's bed. Jacob just laughed at him.

"No you don't, you love me." Jacob corrected Seth, as he flung himself on Seth and hugged him tightly.

"Whatever." Seth muttered, playfully pushing Jacob off of him. Jacob rolled his eyes before grabbing his bathroom essentials and his bath towel.

"I'm going to take my shower, try not to jerk off without me." Jacob said, winking at Seth suggestively as he left the room, laughing loudly at Seth's shocked face.

"Eww! Jake that's gross!" Seth yelled out, giggling.

* * *

As Jacob washed himself in the shower, he couldn't help replaying what had just happened in his head.

"_What the fuck is my problem? I'm not a fag!"_ Jacob cursed himself. But he couldn't help but feel aroused at the thought of pinning Seth down like he had done before. He slowly reached his hand down to his large throbbing cock, using the slick suds of his shower gel as a lubricant as he began to pump himself, sliding his strong hand up and down the engorged shaft. Images of Seth's blushing face flashed across his mind as he imagined how much Seth could blush if he were to fuck him. Jacob never really knew what gays did together, but after spending time at university he heard from his teammates about things that guys did together. Jacob knew how wrong this was, but he felt so excited at the thought of forcing himself on Seth, penetrating Seth's body over and over. Jacob knew Seth was a virgin, he knew it must be hot and tight inside of Seth, which made him pump his member even more, quickening his pace. Imagining how Seth would cry out in pain and pleasure was the final straw for Jacob as he felt his balls tighten and his cock throb even more. Before he knew it, he felt the searing ecstasy of orgasm as he felt himself explode inside his hand, his cum washing down his hand with the water and down the drain.

"Fuck." Jacob whispered to himself as he breathed heavily, recovering from his self-inflicted orgasm. Jacob shuddered as he reached for more soap and began washing himself all over, scrubbing at his skin angrily in attempt to wash his shame and sin away.

"I'm not a fucking fagget." Jacob whispered to himself. Jacob was more than disgusted with himself for feeling like this. Jacob had always been attracted to women like any other man but for years he couldn't help notice the sexual attraction he had toward Seth. But he knew how wrong it was. His late mother was a god respecting woman and raised him and his sisters in the church. He was taught that homosexuality was wrong, and he believed it was. Even his father expressed how much he hated gays and after so long of denying what he felt, Jacob had made himself hate gays too. He hated how they were weak, how they didn't fit in, how they were unnatural and how they fucked up other people's lives with their secrets. But….if he hated them so much, what did that make him? If he had these desires about his best friend…innocent Seth, what kind of freak did that make him?

"I'm not a freak." Jacob assured himself as he rinsed himself off with the hot water, and turned it off. Reaching for his towel, Jacob quickly dried himself off. Seth came into his mind and he felt angry all over again. This was all Seth's fault. Seth did this to him. For Jacob, Seth ignited these feelings in him and made him go through this. He wouldn't have to struggle with himself if it weren't for Seth. But then Jacob felt guilty as he remembered that Seth was just innocent. Seth didn't know what effect he had on Jacob. More importantly, Seth was Jacob's best friend and Jacob knew Seth was always there for him and always would be. How could he hate his best friend for making him feel like this, it wasn't his fault at all. Besides, Jacob knew he had Bella and it was because of this that Jacob was grateful for Bella. She was the perfect girl in many respects and the cure to his nightmares. He truly loved her, and with her he could forget about Seth.

"My god, I really am fucked up." Jacob said to himself as he looked at his perfect reflection. The world around Jacob saw a perfect man whenever they looked at him, but whenever Jacob saw himself, he could only see a damaged man.

Making his way back to the bedroom, Jacob peered through the crack to see Seth reading a book, his eyes wide and a smile on his face.

"_Still…he is really cute."_ Jacob thought to himself, and silently promised himself he would never think that way again. It was a crime and a sin and above all else, Jacob was not a freak.

"Alright bookworm, lights out in a few, we gotta be up bright and early for patrols tomorrow. I almost hope we catch a leech lurking around. I'm itching for a kill." Jacob said, walking into the room, drying his short hair with his towel. Seth looked up from his book at Jacob, taking in the older man's russet tanned skin, defined muscles and that charming smile that was only for him. Jacob was again without a shirt, wearing nothing but a pair of black sweat pants. Seth tried not to think too much about what happened earlier for he knew that if Jacob ever knew he enjoyed it, Jacob would kill him.

"Just let me finish this chapter." Seth pleaded. Jacob snickered and dropped himself on the bed in front of Seth.

"What are you reading anyway?" Jacob questioned as he snatched the book right of Seth's hands.

"Jake!" Seth whined.

"Percy Jackson? Is this reading for school?" Jacob asked, reading the title of the book and flipping the pages absently. Having Jacob this close was not helping Seth at all as he fought to deflate his growing arousal.

"N….no….school is out for the s..summer….I…..just like it." Seth muttered, quickly snatching the book back from Jacob. Jacob gave Seth a sly smile, chuckling as he ruffled Seth's hair.

"Seth, you're really just too cute sometimes. I mean, only kids read this shit, right?" Jacob muttered, shaking his head at the cuteness of Seth's childish ways. Seth looked down at his hands shyly, not wanting to look Jacob in the eyes.

"Seth, are you blushing?" Jacob asked, smiling a bit as he noticed Seth's cheeks slowly going red and warm. Seth's eyes widened in horror at being caught.

"Huh? Um...uh…no…why do you ask?" Seth questioned.

"Well then what are you staring at?" Jacob asked, a sly smile on his lips as he studied Seth's nervous reactions.

"Um…n…nothing." Seth stammered.

"Whatever, I know you're checking me out. It's okay, I know I'm hot." Jacob replied with cockiness as he flexed his muscles and kissed his arm to show off his body.

"Get over yourself Jake." Seth giggled, amused at Jacob's conceited banter.

"Oh well, lights out. Move over." Jacob sad as he pulled back the sheets and blankets of the bed and cuddled up close to Seth. Seth froze at the feeling of their bodies so close.

"Jake, I…..I thought you said you wanted the floor?" Seth asked.

"Hey, it's my bed isn't it?" Jacob asked. Seth sighed with annoyance.

"Okay fine then, I'll take the floor." Seth said as he attempted to get up from the bed, but Jacob stopped Seth, pulling the younger man into his lap. Both of them froze as they stared into each other's eyes and Jacob prayed to God that Seth couldn't feel his obvious erection pressing into Seth's ass. As for Seth, he bit down on his lip trying his best not to whimper.

"Dude…um…you know….this bed is big enough for the both of us. Besides, don't you want me to keep you warm?" Jacob asked seriously.

"Um..o….Okay fine." Seth muttered, sinking nervously back into the sheets as Jacob pulled him close remembering back to when Jacob used t hold him in his sleep when they were little.

"Just don't try to cop a feel okay." Jacob snickered as he rolled over, turning away from Seth.

"Jake! You weirdo! I would NOT do that!" Seth defended himself, shocked that Jacob would say something like that to him. At this they both burst out into giggles. Jacob rolled back over to face Seth, smiling down on the younger man as he embraced him again. To others this behavior may seem sick and twisted, but to Jacob this was just how special their friendship was. They had no boundaries of personal space and secrets. When they were together, they were in their own world.

"Jake….you know, you don't have to….hold me like this anymore if you don't want to." Seth said, looking away from Jake.

"Well, this is pretty gay but….can't break these old habits of ours. Besides, who else is going to keep your nightmares away?" Jacob asked in a deep voice and Seth could swear he could feel Jacob's warm breath caressing his ear.

"Goodnight Jake." Seth whispered, snuggling into Jacob.

"Goodnight buddy." Jacob muttered before sleep overtook him. Seth slowly reached his hand in his shirt, and held onto the necklace Jacob had given him that evening. An eternal symbol of their friendship; one Seth would always cherish. Before closing his eyes to sleep, Seth silently prayed and wished to God to give him the courage to finally confess to Jacob…someday.

* * *

AUTHO'S NOTE - Wow! This was a long update. Hahaha. Well over twelve thousand words in just this chapter alone but don't get used to this type of length in a single chapter for the future. Half of me wanted to split this chapter up into two parts but I couldn't do it because the next chapter is when the story really will start to take off. By the way, the shower scene in which Jacob struggles with his inner thoughts is very important in regard to later chapters. This shows Jacob's prejudice and confusion about homosexuality and it will play a big role in the following chapters. Thank you so much for taking time out of your life to read my story, hahaha. I am eternally grateful! Please review. As always, criticism is loved as long as it's constructive and let me know if you have any suggestions or things you would like to see in the story. Thank you so much and I hope you enjoyed. Next chapter, Seth will finally confess ^^


	3. Virgin Road

AUTHOR'S NOTE- Surely not an update, right? Hahaha Okay so this is like way past over due, so I really owe you guys an extremely long apology for not updating until now, I'm really sorry. Truth be told, I'm generally a slow updater anyway, however since I last posted back in March many things have happened in my life. Actually so much has happened in just a short period from then till now but I don't want to bore you with the details because that is not what you came here for hahaha. Before we jump right into things I just want to say OMG! I have to say that all of you who read and reviewed are just amazing. I really didn't expect to get such an amazing response from just the second chapter of a Jacob and Seth story that is now like seven months old no less. I want to personally thank (the upward glance, WolfLov, scenekid masochist, SoRinnegan, Apple of my heart, imaginesex, ATotallyRationalFearOfKatanas, Miss Unafraid, Valerie the Cheerio lover, Bonds of Light, PockyPand4, KiTkAtIsLoVeLy14, 14, darkestdesire8, JustOnePogostick, I LUV SETH, Kinayusuke, Anonymousblack, GoinnGaGa, Goteamseth, KhairulJBlack, Bigdogz09, little-kiwi-boi, sahisdabest, Hlover, Sunystone, and twimama77) and anyone else I missed. I usually love to respond to all reviews, but if I failed to respond to yours, I apologize. Thank you so much to all of you. Your comments and reviews really inspired me to keep writing this third installment and I appreciate it so much. Therefore, I am dedicating this special chapter to all of you. Thank you all for taking the time to read my story.

* * *

CHAPTER 3

As the cool early morning breeze filtered through the open window by his bedside, Jacob's eyes fluttered open slightly. In La Push Washington, it was a rare sight to see the sun at all, let alone in early morning. Therefore, the only indicator was the light bluish hue given off by the cloudy sky that hid the arising rays of the sun. Jacob shifted in his bed slightly, looking down at a small bundle of warmness that he currently had his arms wrapped around. A gentle smile came upon Jacob's face as he looked down at Seth, sleeping soundly. Jacob's smile grew as he just stared down at the young man whom he called his best friend. He was so beautiful and innocent, albeit a little stream of drool that hung from his pink lips. Jacob stared at those lips, wondering just how soft they would be. In that instant, Jacob's eyebrows furrowed into a scowl as he realized a growing arousal in the pit of his stomach, a sensation of want and lust as he looked down to see his cock stiff as a board, protruding threateningly from his sweatpants and into Seth's back. Jacob sighed sadly and tried his best to maneuver himself from Seth, not wanting to awaken the younger man.

Wearing only his pants, Jacob flitted out of the bedroom and into the restroom, where he made a quick beeline for the sink. Running cold water, Jacob splashed it all over his face, hoping to wash the sinful and perverse thoughts from his mind. As Jacob stood up, looking down at the drain, he hoped just like the water…that the unclean thoughts he held of Seth could just wash down the drain. Jacob felt so helpless and frustrated. He didn't want to hate Seth, but who else could he blame for this. It was hard enough concealing the fact that he wanted nothing more than to feel Seth's body against his….to hold him close against his naked chest….to fill him up with everything he had and make the younger man explode from the inside out. Jacob threw his fist into the bathroom mirror causing it to shatter. He regretted his actions as he heard a creek in the bedroom, and he hoped he hadn't woken anyone in the house. Looking at the broken mirror image of himself, Jacob felt so guilty. What was it about Seth that made him feel like this? Seth was his best friend, he was innocent….and pure….this wasn't his fault.

"It's…it's not Seth's fault that I want him this badly…but I can't help it." Jacob struggled with his inner thoughts before finally relenting. He knew this was a burden he had to bear on his own. Besides, he loved Seth with all he had, that was enough…he couldn't burden Seth with his own frustrations. After all, there was still Bella…and Jacob knew as much as he loved and cared for her…in a way, she also provided a healthy distraction. Smiling to himself with renewed resolve, Jacob made his way back to the bedroom.

Seth stretched out on the bed, feeling so warm and safe lying next to Jacob last night. He smiled to himself, never wanting to leave this bed. Looking beside him, he noticed the absence of those strong tanned arms around his waist, and as Seth rolled over he could see that Jacob was gone. Seth looked down at his hands with defeat, deciding to get a grip on himself.

"Who would want to be with me anyway?" Seth said to himself sadly. For Seth knew in his heart that no matter how many times he dreamed that he was Jacob's, he knew in his mind that Jacob would never want him in that way.

As Jacob walked into the bedroom, Seth looked up nervously as if he were caught thinking about him. Jacob smiled warmly at him, wearing only his black pajama bottoms and it took all of Seth's willpower to look away from Jacob's perfect topless torso.

"Morning pup." Jacob said with a smirk, pulling Seth into a tight hug as he approached the bed.

"Morning to you too." Seth said as he leaned into the embrace, taking in the sweet musky masculine scent of Jacob, who eased himself back into the bed with Seth.

"Did you sleep alright?" Jacob asked wagging his eyebrows. Seth giggled softly shaking his head.

"I did. And you?" Seth asked curiously with a smile. Jacob's eyes went to the ceiling as if he had to think about it before he looked back to Seth.

"Well duh, who wouldn't sleep alight next to you?" Jacob complemented, looking at Seth's cheeks heat up. Jacob wanted to laugh to himself for the effect that his harmless flirting was doing to poor little Seth. He knew he shouldn't pry into a can of worms he wasn't ready to swallow but he had to admit that for one second pretending that it was possible…as if they had just spent an intimate night together made him feel happy, but at the same time disgusted. Jacob couldn't figure this out as he stared at Seth's youthful and boyish beauty. He loved Seth as a friend, he really did…but why did he have these feelings around him…feelings that he knew were wrong and that scared him.

"Jake, you're silly." Seth said as he snuggled deeper into the covers. Jacob wrapped an arm around Seth, not really paying attention to what the younger man had said as he was lost in his depressing thoughts.

"Jake, are you okay?" Seth asked, noticing Jacob's lost facial expression.

"Huh?" Jacob asked, broken from his thoughts.

"You seem like you have a lot on your mind, you know you can tell me anything Jake." Seth reminded with a kind smile. Jacob sat up and looked down on Seth, running his finger over the younger man's beautiful smile gently. He felt so calm in Seth's presence but then he heard a message tone go off and he realized what he had to do this morning. Jacob jumped out of bed so fast it took Seth by surprise as he watched Jacob leap for his phone on the nightstand.

"Shit, Bella called." Come on Seth, we're late." Jacob cursed, looking around the too small room before picking up a pair of cut off jeans. Seth sat up confused.

"Seth, get up. We're late." Jacob said in a harsher tone. Seth flinched at the cold voice, trying to understand what had him on such edge but he knew anytime Bella was involved Jacob became a different person.

"Late for what?" Seth asked.

"For patrols, duh. Now get up. We don't have all day." Jacob said in a stern voice. Seth made an O with his mouth as it suddenly dawned on him that they were supposed to meet up for a unified patrol today. He had completely forgotten.

"Jake….um…why the rush? Can't we be just a little bit late?" Seth asked sweetly, giving Jacob his perfect puppy dog eyes. Jacob merely rolled his eyes and threw a pair of cut off shorts at Seth's' face.

"You think I really want to spend my entire Saturday patrolling? Fuck that. Besides, Bella wants to meet up later and I want to get back home in time to wash the rabbit down a bit." Jacob said as he left the room.

"Okay." Seth whispered to himself, but Jacob didn't hear the sadness in his voice as he left the room.

Seth changed out of his pajamas and threw on his shorts as he ran outside to meet up with Jacob who had started walking ahead without him.

Seth was glad that they had a little ways to go to get to the beach because he would need time to clear his head before being mentally linked with the entire pack. Seth sighed as he thought about the prospect. It really was a burden and sometimes Seth found himself wondering why his ancestors couldn't have found a way to create an on and off switch to the telepathy aspect of their powers. It was somewhat of an annoyance to have your mind completely open to fifteen other men, as well as his sister but Seth had learned early on from experience and practice that there was a key to blocking your most private thoughts from others, and that was by having your mind be totally immersed in something else, the most effective way was through music. Therefore, to shield his thoughts of Jacob from slipping out into the minds of his pack brothers, he focused completely on the sound of music and lyrics. Replaying his favorite songs in his head, imagining it drumming through his mind and concentrating on using that as a barrier to not let his thoughts slip out. Once he mastered this he wasted no time in teaching Collin and Leah as well.

As they trudged on through the woods, Jacob looked to Seth and saw his face appeared down casted and solemn. Jacob then remembered the harsh tone he had used on Seth earlier and a sting of guilt filled his chest. Seth was so precious to him and he didn't mean to hurt him like that...he was just such in a rush to get patrols over with and see his Bella….only the more he thought on it; Bella was not his and never would be completely as long as she only had eyes for Edward Cullen and it wasn't right for Jacob to take that out on Seth.

"Seth, what's up?" Jacob asked with concern, scooting himself closer to the younger man as they walked.

"Huh?" Seth snapped out of his thoughts, turning to his side to notice Jacob staring at him. Seth blushed and looked away before responding. "What do you mean?"

"You were just staring off into space. You okay?" Jacob asked.

"Oh yeah sure, just ready to get this over with. Hey, maybe when we're through with patrols, I can help you out with the rabbit. You know…um...cleaning it up so that it will look good for your outing with Bella." Seth asked hopefully, desperate to spend any time he could with the older man.

"Thanks Seth, but it's alright. I'll be in a bit of a rush. I want to get to Bella's as soon as possible. I hope we'll be able to spend the whole day together. She says she really wants to spend time with me." Jacob said excitedly with a deep chuckle.

"Oh...yeah….um…right." Seth said nodding his head in understanding.

"But um….you can come back over tomorrow if you want." Jacob added, seeing Seth's expression. Seth smiled warmly at him and nodded his head as they continued to walk through the forest which had a dark blue overcast from the early morning light.

"Jake?" Seth asked timidly.

"Yeah?" Jacob answered. Seth turned to his side and to his shock, he noticed that Jacob was pulling his shorts down and undressing, apparently going to phase. Seth could have sworn he caught sight of something he should not have but he didn't want to tempt himself or get any ideas in his head just before he phased so he quickly turned away, covering his eyes.

"Um…can you stop doing that for a second?" Seth stuttered shyly. Jacob looked at him with confusion.

"Doing what? I'm about to phase." Jacob responded with a chuckle.

"I know but…um…..can you just please …put your shorts back on for a second?" Seth asked pleadingly.

"Why, you're not enjoying the view?" Jacob questioned with a suggestive tone. Seth didn't know if Jacob was trying to give him a heart attack or not. He would always playfully flirt with Seth, and sometimes it just border lined too much for the younger man. It was not that Seth didn't enjoy it, but it was hard enough for him when he was already madly in love with the older man whom he knew was straight.

"Jake!" Seth whined.

"Okay, fine. I know my package intimidates you, I'll cover up." Jacob said cockily, smirking at Seth as he slowly and teasingly eased his shorts back up.

"This is serious." Seth whined turning back to look at Jacob. Jacob saw how upset Seth appeared and walked closer, taking Seth's hand gently in his own.

"Seth, what's wrong?" Jacob asked worriedly.

"Jake…um…we're still friends, right?" Seth asked hesitantly. Jacob blinked a few times wondering where that question had come from before he started laughing.

"Seth, what are you talking about? Of course we're friends. When did we ever stop?" Jacob asked with a kind smile. Seth exhaled as he looked up to the sky before looking back at Jacob to continue.

"No…it's not that….I mean…I'm sorry, I know we are...it's just….." Seth began, unsure how to voice his thoughts. Jacob took his other hand and gently cupped Seth's check, using the pad of his thumb to caress the younger man's skin.

"Seth, if there's something bothering you, you know you can always talk to me." Jacob assured Seth.

"I can?" Seth asked, looking up to meet Jacob's stare. Jacob pulled their bodies intimately closer, leaning down because of the height difference so he could rest his forehead against Seth's.

"Of course you can Seth. Don't you trust me anymore. You know you can count on me." Jacob said in a deep hushed whisper.

"Thanks Jake." Seth smiled genuinely, trying to put his head down to hide the blush that was creeping into his face yet again. Seth silently wondered if it was possible to permanently stain his cheeks red.

"So, you going to tell me what's bothering you?" Jacob inquired, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

"Maybe…..someday. Not today though…..we should um…probably get going. Don't want to keep the others waiting." Seth deflected, hoping with all his might that Jacob would just drop the matter altogether.

"Come on Seth, please." Jake cooed pulling Seth into a tight hug and Seth willed himself with all his might not become aroused as he felt Jacob's hard and defined bare chest and nipples graze against his own chest in their embrace.

"Um…I promise I'll tell you…someday." Seth said, although he knew that was more to himself. Someday he would find the courage to tell Jacob how he felt. But not today.

* * *

Jacob and Seth finally made it to the beach where the entire pack was waiting, all seventeen of them. Along the way Seth asked if Jacob wanted to phase to just run the rest of the way but Jacob declined; saying he just wanted to enjoy the walk with Seth for a little while longer. Seth was glad they didn't phase, especially seeing as the pack was not phased either, all standing there waiting in human form. Seth sometimes marveled at just how many wolves had phased up to this day. According to the tribe's legends and stories, only three shifters at most were active at one time and Seth imagined if his ancestors could see their pack now their heads would spin.

Seth made his way over to his friend Collin who was sitting on the ground where the other younger pups were waiting. Collin waved excitedly as he saw Seth approaching him. Jacob made his way to the center of the huddled group, where the core veteran pack members stood. As the alpha, Jacob was the natural leader of the pack and his people, however Sam, Paul, Jared, Quil, Embry and Leah made up his second in command as the core veteran members. They carried a sense of authority over the pack as well as the experience that came with being wolves for so long, since the first days of battle three years ago during the war against Victoria. Seth would have been included in that group except for the fact that his age made Sam place him on level with the younger wolves Collin, Brady, Wyatt, Nathan and Trent; even though Seth had far more experience than the newer wolves did.

"Where the fuck have you guys been?" Paul barked angrily causing a few of the pack members to snicker at his more than popular temper.

"Man, we've been waiting on you guys for at least half an hour." Quil added, sounding far too tired to be up at this early hour. There were grunts and groans of agreement from several of the pack members and as usual, Seth could see that many seemed as if they really did not want to be there. Logan, Michael and Kyle stood there exchanging whispers with annoyed expressions on their faces which didn't surprise Seth seeing as how those three were near inseparable and could either been seen whispering amongst each other or with their imprints. The younger wolves Brady, Trent, Nathan and Wyatt looked almost half asleep but they still seemed focused. Seth had to laugh at this as he had learned that a few of the young wolves always worried about getting in trouble for not doing a good job as pack members. And of course there was Elijah, who always seemed to distance himself from everyone else. Although he was the same age as Sam, he was not a part of the veteran core group.

"Everyone just calm down." Sam scolded in his deep calm voice, trying to maintain some sense of order and composure amongst the pack.

"Look, sorry everybody, we just woke up late, okay. No big deal." Jacob said, shrugging his shoulders as he made his way to the center of the pack circle. Sam sighed heavily at Jacob's dismissive nature.

"Jake, actually…it is a big deal when we have nomads coming through left and right these days. As an alpha, you should know…." Sam began but Jacob sensing a sermon about to start quickly cut him off.

"Sam, don't fucking lecture me this morning, okay. I got a headache." Jacob growled. Sam scoffed at Jacob's blatant disrespect, but said nothing more. He turned to his left to faintly hear Leah of all people trying to stifle her giggle at Jacob silencing Sam.

"You got a headache? Why? Who did you fuck last night?" Jared asked, teasingly. The other pack members joined in the crude laughter. Leah scoffed in a disgusted manner at the boys' dirty talk.

"You guys do know there are minors present, right? Leah asked with annoyance, pointing to the younger wolves that were huddled together snickering at the adult conversation.

"Oh we don't mind." Trent, one of the younger wolves stated happily; earning a glare from Leah.

"Do you really have to ask? Who else would it be?" Embry retorted smartly.

"Oh man, not the vampire girl again." Paul said, barking mad with laughter which caused everyone; even Leah to laugh at this. They all knew too well of Jacob's struggle to win the heart of the pale skinned vampire girl who had began frequenting the reservation a lot lately. Jacob just rolled his eyes, not paying attention to their teasing.

"Very funny. You guys are just jealous. Besides, I fail to see how my sex life is any of your damn business." Jacob replied cockily.

"Dude, we're a pack. Everything about your personal life is our business. It comes with the package, remember." Jared chided, tapping his finger to his temple to remind Jacob of the mental sharing they possessed.

"Well for your information I wasn't fucking anybody last night, well except for Seth." Jacob joked, smirking at Seth as he draped an arm around the younger man. The entire pack burst into a fit of raucous laughter at Jacob's crude joke, knowing how close those two were.

"Huh? What?" Seth stuttered out in embarrassment. He looked at Jacob who was laughing really hard. He felt his cheeks heat up as a blush crept into his face.

"I'm just kidding Seth." Jacob assured Seth, hugging him closer. Feeling Jacob's chest and strong muscled arms around him protectively like that, Seth couldn't even feel upset or hurt. He could only notice how good it felt to be here amongst his pack family and the love of his life.

"So how was it Seth? Did you boys have a good time last night?" Paul asked teasingly, followed by more snickers from the pack. Seth smiled weakly, trying to ignore his crude fellow pack brothers.

"Alright, guys calm down. Leave him alone." Jacob said with a smile on his face trying to compose himself and turn the spotlight away from the embarrassed Seth.

"So I guess I'm the only one who really got some last night, huh?" Quil piped up with confidence.

"Dude, with who? Claire?" Embry asked with a knowing smirk.

"Yep, she finally gave in last night." Quil stated, congratulating himself, earning a few wolf howls and woops and a heavy and annoyed sigh from Sam. Leah scoffed in disgust.

"How was she?" Paul asked eagerly.

"Ewww man, don't answer that!" Embry said laughing.

"Why not, inquiring minds want to know." Jared asked.

"Quil, I'm surprised at you. You do understand she's only sixteen, right?" Sam chastised. Several of the pack members booed Sam for his uptight statement.

"Oh come on Sam, get off your high horse. The girl might be young but she's still hot." Quil replied. Jacob who was laughing to himself at his pack's antics stepped up to command their attention, not wanting them to become unfocused from their purpose for meeting this morning.

"Alright guys, calm down. I actually do have plans today. Neither of which include spending the day with any of you dumbasses." Jacob said with amusement.

"Gee thanks a lot." Leah muttered sarcastically, Jacob just shrugged. "Just being honest. Okay, so we're going to split up and patrol from the La Push border up to the Canadian border today." Jacob announced. Some of those present groaned their complaints.

"What? Oh come on Jake, you got to be kidding us." Paul said.

"Look, with all seventeen of us running at full speed it shouldn't take anymore than a few hours." Sam added in a failed authoritative attempt.

"Look, you all know as well as I do that if we don't get this situation under control it could mean trouble for our tribe and Forks. We will be patrolling up to the border so I don't want to hear anymore bullshit complaining from anybody." Jacob ordered. Everyone grunted in response. Turning to the second in commands, Jacob gave the order.

"I've already notified you guys on your various teams." Jacob said to them. They all nodded in response. "Seth, Elijah and Wyatt; you guys are with me. We'll patrol the north." Jacob announced.

"Jared, Michael and Nathan, you guys are with me. We're going to take the Southern territory." Sam announced.

"Paul, Quil, Brady, Kyle and Trent; you guys take the east." Jacob announced, turning to Paul and Quil as Kyle, Brady and Trent stood up and filed in line behind them.

"And Leah, Embry, Collin and Logan, can you guys handle the west? And we'll all meet back up here on the beach." Jacob said, turning to Leah and Embry who both gave a silent nod as they turned to Collin and Logan and prepared to leave.

Everyone split off into their assigned groups as they began to strip down. By this point, most had become so accustomed to seeing each other in such a state that it was normal for them now. When everyone was ready, Jacob gave the command with a nod and they all phased in unison, seventeen people all exploding into giant wolves on cue. It was quite a sight to behold, seventeen wolves; all the size of horses if not bigger. All of them ranged in size and color, from black to brown, sandy yellow, red, badge, gray, spotted and even snow white. After giving his nod they raced off into the thick of the woods, on the prowl for what they were made to do…..destroying cold ones.

* * *

"Leah!" Leah heard Sue call from down the stairs. Leah rolled over in bed, grabbing her pillows and slamming it over her head, trying her best to block out the incessant cries of her mother. It had been another one of those nights. Dreaming of nothing else but what was, what could have been and what would no longer be..her Sam. Leah laughed to herself thinking how on earth she could even still call him hers after everything he had put her through and what had happened. Besides that, it had been three years now since they were together at all but she couldn't forget what that time was like…when Sam loved her, when he cared.

"Sam…" Leah whispered in her sleep, trying to imagine those sweet and dark eyes that he she saw given to her cousin Emily; directed towards herself instead.

"Leah, come on. We have to get up!" Sue called from Leah's door, breaking the dream Leah was trying to enjoy. Leah moved her head from its position on her pillow and peered up through her blankets to see her mother standing there fully dressed with a spatula in one hand and her arms crossed. Leah stifled a grin at the sight wondering at times if that thing was permanently glued to her mother's hand.

"Mom…..wh..what are you doing here?" Leah mumbled sleepily.

"Leah, I'm not going to say it again. Get up!" Sue said seriously walking to Leah's side. Leah rolled her eyes and tossed herself back into the warmth of her queen sized bed.

"Mom, it's Sunday for Christ's sake. Give it a rest." Leah replied, rolling her eyes and she rolled over to face the other side to avoid her mother's glare.

"Leah Clearwater, have you forgotten? Today we're supposed to be meeting Emily, Kim, Rachel and Sam's mother at the gown shop for fittings…..My God this room is a mess." Sue muttered the last part more to herself as she began flitting around the room in frustration picking up clothes that were on the floor and tossing them into the hamper.

"You have got to be kidding me with this." Sitting up in bed, Leah gave her mother an incredulous stare, watching as Sue walked back toward the door with a basket full of her laundry.

"I'm fixing breakfast in the kitchen. Hurry up now, or we'll be late." Sue reminded before leaving the room.

Leah thought it would probably be a good idea to tell her mother that those clothes were just washed the other day, she just didn't have the time to put them up yet but she thought what the heck, let her mother do a little extra work for waking her up so early on a Sunday morning. As she got out of bed and headed for her dresser, she thought about what her mother said and wasn't sure if she could handle this. It was hard enough that Sam was getting married, but not only did her mother and the pack expect her to be there at the wedding, but she was asked and expected to participate in it. How was she supposed to go along with this? Just the mere thought of loosing Sam forever made her sick to her stomach. Leah honestly didn't know if she would be strong enough to stand there and watch her cousin and the man she loved marry, a dream she had since she was in high school and first met Sam. How could something so precious…something she had lived for, never come to pass?

Sighing heavily, Leah threw on a pair of short cut jeans and a white tank top and threw on a pair of sneakers. These days her wardrobe didn't consist of much as she spent more time doing patrols then actually living her life. Besides, it was not like anyone paid attention to her looks anymore, especially not Sam. Being a part of the pack meant being one of the guys. After walking into the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth, she ran a brush through her short pixie length hair before heading downstairs. When Sue was finished making toast and eggs, she placed some on two plates for only herself and Leah since she knew Seth was already out patrolling. Cutting the stove off, Sue turned back around to the table only to see Leah, who had finally come to the breakfast table. Sue pursed her lips together in disappointment as she glared at Leah's lack of proper attire.

"Sweetie, you're wearing that to the dress shop. Don't you have any nicer clothes like your cousin? She always knows how to dress properly for an occasion." Leah just closed her eyes and counted to three trying her best not to take her mother's words seriously.

"Mom, please don't." Leah said, tired of her mother always comparing her to her cousin.

"Well all I'm saying is you could at least change out of that top. Are you even wearing a bra?" Sue asked critically. Leah sighed as she pushed her plate of toast and eggs away in favor of a banana from the fruit basket.

"Mom, I'm not going. You know this already. Why must you insist on pushing me?" Leah asked hopelessly.

"Leah, I'm not having this conversation this morning. You march right up those stairs and get dressed!" Sue demanded, pointing to the stairs. Leah stood up from the table quickly and approached her mother.

"What the hell don't you understand about no?" Leah snapped.

"Don't take that tone with me Leah!" Sue shot back just as angrily in her face.

"Do you really think that I'm just going to stand there proudly beside Emily and watch her marry the man she stole from me!" Leah questioned. Sue scoffed unbelievingly at her daughter.

"Leah you are so childish, and don't talk about Emily that way! She is your family! And she didn't steal anything from you, Leah. No one did." Sue reprimanded her daughter, shaking her head shamefully.

"How can you say that mom? You know what those two did to me!" Leah asked desperately.

"Sam and Emily didn't do anything to you Leah! If anything, you're putting yourself through all of this! Raising all of this drama and causing a scene every chance you get! It's a blessing your father is not here to see how much you're embarrassing yourself." Sue explained.

Leah bit back an expletive she wanted to let slip but didn't want to hurt her mother. But how could she not when her own mother was constantly hurting her like this. Leah felt as if no matter what, her mother would never take her side or believe in what she had to say and to top it off, Sue had the nerve to bring Harry into this and that was not something Leah could handle right now; especially since she felt her dad was the only one besides Seth who ever really cared for her.

"Leave dad out of this! At least when he was around I felt like I had a parent that actually cared about me! You're my own mother, can't you for once take my side?" Leah asked, her eyes watery. Sue just turned away trying to ignore her daughter's words.

"Oh let's not start this again. You always think the world is so against you." Sue countered turning away. Leah scoffed at the comment.

"Not the world, just the hypocrites who claim to care about me." Leah replied, crossing her arms knowing she had gotten to her mother. Sue turned back around to face her daughter again.

"Leah, I'm not going to let you ruin this day for Emily, now you go get changed and meet me down here in five." Sue said trying to keep herself calm.

"Yeah, that's right you're always taking Emily's side. Why don't you just fucking adopt her, then you can finally have the perfect daughter you never had. Do you even realize how much she hurt me just by asking me to be her bridesmaid? The woman I thought was my best friend betrayed me and stole my fiancé." Leah accused with frustration.

"He wasn't yours Leah, if he imprinted on Emily, then destiny says they belong together! It's as simple as that! Why can't you understand that? She didn't do anything wrong! And neither did Sam. All they did was accept their new destiny. They took up responsibility for their obligations, and accepted their new fate. Something you would understand if you had listened to the teachings I tried to instill in you as a child." Sue explained.

Leah could not believe this. Regardless of what she said or the circumstance; her mother had a comeback for everything. She didn't even feel as if she had a real mother since her own would rather support her backstabbing cousin.

"You know what mom….if you want to go to that damn wedding, than by all means go. But I won't be a part of it! Sam was my everything and I go out of my way so my best friend and boyfriend, the two most important people in my life can meet each other and what do they do? They betray me! Emily betrays me and steals Sam, and Sam didn't even try to fight for me! He didn't even try to stay with me. He just drops me as soon as he sees her." Leah said with contempt walking towards the door.

"It doesn't matter Leah, we're going and that's final!" Sue shouted, turning away from Leah.

"No, I won't. And you can't make me!" Leah snapped before running outside to the backyard and before she could even make it to the dense forest, she phased in mid run, bursting out of her clothes.

"Leah! Leah, come back here!" Sue yelled out from the door as she watched her daughter in wolf form disappear into the woods. When Leah was out of sight Sue angrily slammed the door shut with all her might. She went back into the kitchen and sat down to finish eating her breakfast but found it incredibly hard to swallow past the huge lump in her throat before she succumb to the tears and sobs that erupted from within her.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE - Thank you so much for taking the time to read. I hope you all could enjoy it. Honestly, I know this is considerably a very short chapter as not much happened but up to this point was a good place for me to stop because it was all I had fully completed and the next chapter which picks up on the following day is just….terribly long. This chapter was small, but there were many details that I hope you could pick up on. So hopefully, this chapter was good for something. Also I know I said last time that Seth would confess, but after rewriting some parts of the future chapters, I felt it was far too rushed and I can safely say we have at least one more chapter to go before we get to the actual confession. Also, I really hope this chapter flowed nicely, including the dialogue, narration and characterization. I'm slowly but surely trying to improve my writing style, and I hope this update was a bit more successful than my previous attempts in the past two chapters. As always, if you have any questions, please ask me and if you have any critiques or suggestions, please let me know. I am always open to advise, especially when it comes to my writing because I know there is always room for me to improve. I am currently still trying to edit and rewrite some things in the next chapter so do not worry, I will not make you wait another seven months, hahaha. I will try really hard to get the next chapter up at least by the end of the month, okay. Thank you again.


	4. Hope or Pain

AUTHOR'S NOTE

You know what, my ever slow updating pace is getting a bit ridiculous, don't you think? Hahaha Its almost just embarrassing posting again after so long, especially since I made you wait like since October, right? Please forgive me. Real world life keeps me kind of busy and after I write something and take a break…I tend to lapse too much and before I know it five months have gone by. Hahaha. But I hope you guys will still want to read this story and I hope you can enjoy this update because I worked very hard on it. I originally wanted to update last month but my job gets extremely busy around the holidays (valentines) so I was determined to at least make a post this week. However I have a treat for you as an apology for the long wait. Two chappies! Chapter four and five have been posted simultaneously for your viewing pleasure and I really hope it is okay. I proof read this like….three times and I just know I still missed something so please bear with me here. I'm really not the best writer, still trying to hone my craft…but I gave this my all and hopefully it shows in the material.

As always, I want to thank you all for reading this story, Personal thanks and love goes out to all of you who read and reviewed the last chapter. Thank you to (**the upward glance, Bigdogz09, GoinnGaGa, .Taylor, SoRinnegan, KiTkAtIsLoVeLy14, inuokamilove16, Anonymousblack, chaserno1, Wolfpacklover, AliceCullenJustGotLaid, Loveisalwaystherex3, Douglas Smith, bla338, Valerie the Cheerio lover, SG1493, Leiann, SilverEars, happyhippy**). I love you all and your words and comments really support and encourage me. If I missed anyone, I sincerely apologize, love and hugs to you.

**WARNING: This story contains graphic material of an adult nature including sexual content as well as adult language. If you are underage or if you are offended by such material, please turn back now. Thank you.**

* * *

CHAPTER 4

Seth walked along the old and yet familiar beaten path to Jacob's house through the woods, kicking up pebbles and rocks as he went along. The distance between their houses wasn't long as Seth could have rode his bike to Jacob's in a matter of minutes however he wanted to take the long way for once to gather his thoughts. Last night he heard Leah come in late which means she was probably out running her patrols alone again. Seth sighed as he remembered that both Jacob and Sam especially did not like this idea at all, but had decided that after three years there was really no use in fighting with her anymore, especially since she didn't even adhere to pack commands and very rarely went to the pack meetings if not any at all.

But that was not all that kept Seth awake last night, and filled his heart with hope. The whole situation with Leah and Sam and what drove them apart….Seth stayed up all night thinking what if something like that happened between him and Jacob. But inside Seth felt reassured because he knew in his heart the kind of man Jacob was. Jacob was strong and stubborn and had openly voiced his displeasure with the idea of imprinting, so Seth knew that if he and Jacob ever got together, regardless of an imprint on another; Jacob would fight it at all costs. But then Seth stopped in his tracks and laughed bitterly to himself. Who was he to entertain the idea that Jacob would even want to be with him in that way?

Seeing the old worn and weathered red painted house up ahead as he made it through the thicket of forest, Seth decided for the moment to banish all thoughts on the possibilities or impossibilities of his and Jacob's future. Seth sprinted to a run to get to the house faster, mentally berating himself as he ran. Seth loved Jacob so much that he would gladly give up everything he had, even his own life to make sure his best friend was happy, loved and safe. But still a selfish part of him wanted to be the one to love Jacob, to make him happy and to keep him safe.

"_Is this wrong though? To be this selfish? What…right do I have?"_ Seth mentally questioned himself.

Walking up the front steps Seth wiped the tears that he felt stinging the back of his eyes. He wasn't going to cry at a time like this. He would be happy. After all, Jacob was finally home from school for the summer and he had been looking forward to this day since last year when Jacob left. All Seth wanted was to use this time wisely and spend as much of it with Jacob as he could. Smiling with renewed hope, Seth knocked on the door, but saw that it was slightly ajar. Growing curious Seth poked his head inside to see merely an empty kitchen. In most neighborhoods and places in the world Seth knew this type of behavior would be deemed as breaking and entering but in La push it was simply called making yourself at home. It was just something that was done since mostly everybody on the rez knew each other and if you didn't then you at least knew someone who knew someone else who might know of your family, so by extension everyone was family in a warped way.

"Jacob?" Seth called out softly as he stepped through the kitchen and made his way into the empty living room. He took off his jean jacket and sat on the couch, relishing in all the memories that surfaced of him and Jacob playing in this room as kids. Smiling, Seth reached over to pick up a small picture frame on the coffee table. It was laden with many pictures. Mostly of Jacob and his sisters growing up but Seth had noticed one of himself and Jacob. Jacob was so cute with his big grin and messy spiked hair. Seth smiled, remembering that as a child Jacob was always so happy and then he saw Jacob's arms wrapped proudly around a camera shy Seth. They were sitting at the lake, by the old tire swing. Then Seth remembered this picture was taken by Jacob's mom when she took them both out for a picnic during the summer. Seth's heart clenched with warmth at the memory. _"How could I forget something like this?"_ Seth said to himself. Placing the picture back on the coffee table Seth stood up to leave, deciding that no one was home. But then he heard a noise that caught his attention. It was like the squeaking springs of an old mattress. Seth giggled; thinking Jacob probably partied too hard with the pack last night and was trying to catch up on some sleep but then he saw something through the window of the living room. Something outside he didn't notice at all before. A rusty red truck.

"_Bella's truck? Is she here?"_ Seth whispered. And as if on cue, Seth's heart dropped right down to the pit of his stomach when he finally realized what exactly was going on.

"God yes." A feminine voice cried out in an exhausted ecstasy, confirming Seth's fears. Seth felt his heart shatter as his eyes stung with the onset of fresh tears. Here Seth was foolishly hoping to spend the day with Jacob, but Jacob apparently had better plans. Seth knew of this….heck everyone knew that Jacob and Bella had always had a thing going on behind closed doors ever since the war…ever since Jacob made Bella see that she truly did want him. But it was one of those fickle and sticky subjects that only had a place amongst the cruel and crude conversations the pack shared behind Jacob's back. Now whether Bella's fiancé Edward Cullen knew of this sexual tryst was left unknown to everyone.

"So fucking sexy." A deep husky voice grunted….Jacob's voice. Seth gripped at his chest, clutching the silver dream catcher necklace that Jacob had just gotten him upon his return home. Seth couldn't stop the tears from falling as he stepped closer to the source of the sounds, making his way softly out of the living room and down the hall to Jacob's bedroom. The sounds of sex and sweaty skin slapping against skin and bodies moving together with fevered purpose filling the room and suffocating Seth. He knew he shouldn't see…he shouldn't…but he couldn't stop himself…he had to see this pain with his own eyes. The noises were getting louder, almost deafening to Seth's sensitive ears and even more sensitive heart as he heard Jacob grunting wildly in a deep voice, panting as if involved in some heavy labor. Seth could hear Bella's high pitched moans and groans as Jacob groaned with her, the sound of the bed shifting and the mattress springs contracting adding a most horrific background to the excruciating soundtrack that played in Seth's ears. But just when Seth was at the door, he saw that it was ajar enough to see inside and what Seth saw tore him in two.

Jacob's strong and thickly built body was settled in-between Bella's legs. Jacob gripped at Bella's pale white thighs as he sank his cock inside of her pink entrance repeatedly. Jacob's broad shoulders and arms moved with haste, as a glistening sheen of sweat formed on his back and all over his perfect body and his muscles flexed and contracted at his fevered movements. While Jacob rested in-between Bella's legs, he held himself up by his arms on either side of Bella's head, Bella's legs wrapped tightly around Jacob's waist as he pounded mercilessly into her, her dark brown hair curtaining her face as she writhed and moaned and cried out as Jacob drove into her continuously. Jacob reached down and took Bella's lips in a hot kiss and from a distance Seth could see the proud smirk on Jacob's face as the man fucked the girl on the bed. Seth…who watched all this cried silently. It was like they were bragging…showing him how foolish he was for hoping and dreaming….

"Oh God...J…Jake." Bella screamed with a hoarse cry as Jacob took her hands and held them tightly above her head, thrusting his hips into her, his massive cock clearly visible in stretching her vaginal walls and both milking their bodily fluids.

"Your pussy is so fucking hot." Jacob grunted, as he continued to slam into Bella as if his life depended on it. Sitting up, Jacob pulled Bella up from her missionary position and pulled her onto his lap, slamming her back down on his engorged dick, as he began thrusting upward into her causing her to scream even louder. From the doorway Seth could see both were sweating either from Jacob's warm body temperature combined with the lustful actions they were engaging in and by their sound she could tell they were close to their limits. Seth couldn't watch anymore. He turned his eyes away just as he heard Bella scream out nonsensical gibberish.

"Fuck!" Jacob shouted in a loud and powerful tone that made the house seem to rumble and Seth fell to his knees at the sound knowing how much pleasure Jacob and Bella must have shared together. It was like they were laughing at him…and he knew he was being stupid. Seth knew he had no claim over Jacob but try telling that to his bleeding heart. He couldn't stop the tears and they must have heard because the next thing he knew he heard them stop.

Back in the bedroom, Jacob and Bella panicked at the shuffling sound and they both immediately jumped off the bed. Jacob threw Bella's hoodie to her as he scrambled to pull up his jeans.

"Shit Jacob, I thought you said your dad was out with Charlie." Bella accused as she tried to pull on her panties over the mess that Jacob had left in-between her legs.

"Damn it. Hold on a sec." Jacob cursed as he managed to get on a wife-beater shirt and shove his bare feet into his Nike sneakers. Jacob roughly ran a hand through his short spiked hair as he swallowed hard. He truthfully didn't care if his father had heard them, but he didn't want to be lectured again about taking advantage of an engaged woman, especially since the wolves of la push were finally at peace with the Cullens. Stepping out of his bedroom while Bella struggled to dress and compose herself he looked down just to see Seth curled up into a fetal position on the hallway floor. Seth's head was down so he didn't see Jacob until the older man called to him.

"Seth?" Jacob asked with concern as he bent down to Seth. Jacob felt relief that it wasn't his father but just Seth who had come in the house, but his heart clenched at seeing Seth like this. He looked so hurt and broken and lost...Jacob reached out his arms to wrap around Seth who felt embarrassed and ashamed at being caught crying in such a manner on Jacob's hallway floor.

"Oh..um..uh..Jake…I…uh…." Seth stuttered, trying to wipe his tears away and compose himself. "I'm sorry…I…" Seth tried to stutter out a reasonable answer, but was cut off by Jacob who reached his large and warm hand up to cup Seth's check and wipe his tears with the pad of his thumb. Seth blushed profusely at the mere kindness that Jacob was showing him…the kindness he always showed him. He looked up nervously to look at Jacob. _"Is he mad at me…did I interrupt them?"_ Seth asked himself, but found his answer in Jacob's eyes that were filled with warmth and love.

"Seth, are you okay? What's wrong?" Jacob asked with concern, pulling Seth up into his arms. Seth tried to step away and maintain some space but Jacob wouldn't release him from his embrace.

"I'm sorry…I just…I didn't know If you were home or not and…the door was unlocked and so I….." Seth tried to explain.

"Don't worry about it Seth, but…what's the matter? Why are you crying?" Jacob asked.

"Oh..um..nothing." Seth said keeping his head down.

"Seth, you're crying. Something's wrong. Just tell me, please." Jacob pleaded pulling Seth closer to him. Seth could feel the warmth of Jacob's massive body radiating off of him and Jacob could feel his blood boil with arousal, flooding down to harden his cock merely at holding Seth in this way but he felt terrible at seeing Seth so broken and sad and wanted to know what made him feel that way. Just then their moment was broken by Bella who had just stepped out of the bedroom and into the hall.

"Hey Jake I was going to….oh, hey Seth, what's up?" Bella greeted awkwardly as she realized she walked in on a private conversation, noticing the intimate way that Jacob was holding up Seth. Seth nervously turned away from Jacob and managed to step away from the older man's grasp.

"Oh...H...hi Bella." Seth replied shyly, not able to look at Bella after just seeing her and his best friend engaged in their previous lustful act. But upon closer inspection, Bella could see that there were tears drying on the young man's cheeks and he looked flustered and depressed.

"My god, Seth, what's wrong?" Bella said, walking up to Seth and placing a comforting hand on his arm. Jacob just sighed sadly.

"That's what I just asked him." Jacob said.

"Seth you can talk to us. We're you're friends." Bella encouraged with a smile. Seth smiled warmly at them both, hoping to make them let go of their questioning. After all, how was he to explain that he was crying because he was heartbroken at seeing his best friend fuck the living day lights out of some spoiled girl who didn't deserve love?

"You guys, I'm fine. Don't worry about me, I just….am having one of those migraines you know...the kind that hurts so bad you could um...cry?" Seth lied, hoping Jacob and Bella believed him. Seth waited nervously as Jacob's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What migraine does that?" Jacob asked confused. Bella smiled, rolling her eyes at Jacob.

"Seth, I know exactly what you're talking about. Do you want an aspirin? Hold on a sec, I'll be right back. I think I have one in my bag." Bella said as she went back into the bedroom to fetch her book bag. When they were alone again, Jacob turned back to Seth.

"Are you…sure you're okay Seth?" Jacob asked again, looking on Seth with a solemn expression.

"For the last time, yes Jake. I'm fine." Seth said, smiling warmly to convince Jacob to drop the entire matter.

"Here Seth." Bella said, returning with two aspirin pills.

"Thanks. I'll just be in the bathroom." Seth answered, disappearing down the hall and into the restroom.

When Jacob and Bella were left standing in the hallway alone they both exchanged glances before bursting into a fit of giggles and chuckles at the relief that sank in; both dreading if it had been anyone other than Seth to have walked in on what they were doing.

"Gosh, that was a close one I guess." Bella said, cheeks turning red at the smoldering look Jacob was giving her as she absentmindedly ran her hands to smooth out her wild bed hair, hoping little Seth had not noticed it.

"Yeah, I guess." Jacob chuckled.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow night, right?" Bella asked, grabbing her book bag.

"You bet." Jacob answered with a devious smirk. "Come here." Jacob said taking Bella roughly by the waist, and pulling her into his arms for a kiss but Bella turned her head away sharply refusing to let his lips touch hers.

"Jake….please…no kissing, remember?" Bella reprimanded softly. Jacob's face contorted into frustration and disgust as he let go of her as if she were something infectious.

"Whatever." Jacob said rolling his eyes at the rules of the arrangement they had made, turning away from Bella. Bella's face fell into pity as she came to rest a hand on Jacob's large shoulder but he just shook her off.

"Jake….come on, don't be like that." Bella pleaded.

"Look, I'll see you later; I have to check on Seth." Jacob said walking away from her and down the hall to the bathroom to find Seth.

"Okay, I'll see you then." Bella replied. Bella just shrugged and made her way out of the house to go back to her own home.

Listening to her leave, Jacob cursed to himself at the pointless stupidity of the entire thing. He loved Bella and cared for her deeply, he really did. But he didn't know how much longer he could take this. They had been keeping this affair up ever since the war out of his own insistence to be with her and her own indecisiveness about marrying Edward. But somehow things escalated to just unemotional lust and passion and sex filled nights followed by bitter arguments as each of them seemed to take the frustrations of their own lives out on each other. He wanted more with Bella and always remained vocal about that however he was resigned to just quick meaningless fucks with her and while Jacob was not complaining in the least about at least getting that, at the end of the day he grew bored with it and wanted something more. Something like what was on the other side of the bathroom door. If Jacob were honest with himself, he knew that just being with Seth…holding the younger man in a simple hug, turned him on more than Bella or any other female's body ever could.

"_Fuck, pull yourself together Black"_ Jacob cursed to himself. He tried so desperately to ignore the heinous thoughts that filled him whenever Seth was near but all he had to do was look at that tanned lithe body of Seth's and that cute adorable face and it was enough to arouse Jacob to the point of orgasm without even touching himself. But it was much more than that. It was who Seth was inside…his inner beauty, he was kind beyond compare and he was totally selfless. Seth always put others happiness before himself, something which made Jacob fall in love with the younger boy even when they were just kids. Jacob knew all too well that Seth would be much different than Bella. In bed Bella was unemotional and detached, only caring about the carnal pleasure of the deed and while Jacob enjoyed the wild and rough sex as much as anyone else; he knew it would be much more with Seth. With Seth…it would be making love. He knew Seth would put Jacob's needs and desires first and that thought alone made Jacob's blood boil with excitement as he imagined penetrating the younger man, their bodies both sweaty and soaked as they moved in synchronization…Jacob thrusting his hips roughly into Seth, ramming Seth's tight virgin hole with his cock repeatedly….reaching climax as Seth's tightness milked his dick and made him cum load after load inside the younger man…

Jacob slammed his fist angrily against the wall as he shook himself of these thoughts. This was wrong. He couldn't think like this…he couldn't be a fag. He couldn't be. He would not let this happen. He wanted to be angry at Seth for doing this to him but Seth wasn't to blame. Jacob knew it was himself. He couldn't give in to his feelings and most of all; he couldn't corrupt innocent Seth with his perverse desires. Hearing something clatter in fall in the bathroom Jacob chuckled knowing he must have startled Seth with his outburst. Tearing away from his inner thoughts, he turned to the bathroom door to check on Seth.

"Hey, Sethy, you okay?" Jacob asked knocking on the door gently. Jacob turned the knob to find it unlocked. Seth was washing his face with cold water. Just as he finished drying his face with the towel he turned around to find Jacob standing there with a cocky smirk looking over his Seth, but Seth just giggled to himself.

"Sethy?" Seth questioned the way Jacob had turned his simple and short name into a cute pet name. Jacob just smiled warmly back at Seth. Seeing Seth's large brown eyes and his gorgeous white smile…a smile he always felt was meant only for him...Jacob couldn't blame this boy…his boy. He wrapped his large muscled arms around Seth's tiny waist and pulled them closer until their chests were touching. Seth blushed and kept his head down but Jacob wouldn't tolerate it. Using his hand, Jacob tilted Seth's chin up to force the younger man to look up at him.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Jacob asked with concern.

"I'm…I'm fine…..I…" Seth muttered nervously with a smile.

"Seth what is it?" Jacob questioned.

"I owe you an apology Jake." Seth answered, trying to step out of Jacob's arms but Jacob wouldn't let him go.

"An apology? What for?" Jacob asked, laughing at Seth's cute and shy behavior.

"I…..I'm sorry I…. walked in the house and um…..heard you guys. I'm really sorry." Seth apologized.

"Oh, you uh…you heard that?" Jacob asked with a nervous chuckle, looking off to the side as he let go of Seth; feeling uncomfortable touching Seth while speaking about Bella.

"I'm really sorry Jake." Seth repeated.

"Seth, just forget about it. No worries. It was just sex. Not like Bella and I haven't done it plenty of times before." Jacob said with a nonchalant attitude.

"Um…oh…but um…Bella and Edward…aren't they serious?" Seth inquired.

"I guess…I don't really care. What he doesn't know won't hurt him. It's not like they're married yet which means she's still fair game. Besides, we're not all that serious. We're just fucking." Jacob replied.

"But…don't you…want more than that from her?" Seth asked.

"I do, but what's the fucking point? She obviously thinks she's better off with that blood-fucker." Jacob answered. Seth sighed and looked away.

"Um….It's getting late. I should probably get home." Seth said glancing at his wrist watch.

"Huh? Why?" Jacob asked in a disappointed tone. Seth looked up to see disappointment etched in Jacob's features but Seth knew better than to get his hopes up high and believe that Jacob actually would want to waste his time with him.

"Oh, I just ought to help my sis with dinner tonight. Mom is supposed to have Charlie and Billy over for dinner later so…" Seth tried to explain as he began to move to make his departure but Jacob quickly cut Seth off by grabbing the younger man gently by the arm and turning him back around.

"Seth, you can ditch them just this once. Besides, I was going to order a pizza. You don't want me to eat all by myself do you?" Jacob asked in a teasing manner, pulling Seth back into his arms as he gave Seth his best puppy dog pout.

"Well…." Seth tried to think of a way out of this predicament but he couldn't even think with Jacob's heated skin pressed against him and his face merely centimeters apart from Jacob's.

"Come on, stay with me. Don't you love me anymore?" Jacob teased jokingly, sloppily licking Seth's cheek affectionately like a puppy and making a whimpering dog sound. Seth just burst out laughing.

"Jake! That's gross!" Seth giggled, playfully hitting Jacob on the shoulder although to Seth it really was not gross at all but he had to say something.

"Yeah but you liked it." Jacob grinned cheekily, slinging his arm around Seth's shoulders.

"I tell you what; I'll call the guys over. We'll make it a party, how about that?" Jacob compromised.

"That's cool." Seth answered as Jacob made his way downstairs; dialing on his cell phone. As Seth followed Jacob downstairs to the living room he could hear Jacob's continuous slur of curses and Seth guessed Jacob must be talking to Quil or Jared...or any one of them actually. Seth was thrilled that he and Jacob would get to spend more time together rut not so thrilled about the idea of Jacob inviting some of the other pack members. It wasn't that Seth disliked them. Seth loved and cared for all of them actually and wished he could spend more time with them….but he always got the feeling they didn't like him too much as they always teased him every time Jacob wasn't around to protect him.

"Shit. I have to run to the store right quick." Jacob said, grabbing his keys and running to the front door.

"What for?" Seth asked.

"Quil and Embry and some of the other guys are coming over in a few minutes, which means I'm probably going to need some more beer in the house." Jacob said with a mischievous grin.

"Quil and Embry?" Seth asked.

"Yeah...oh, um...did you want to invite Collin over? I'm going to go pick up some pizza and beer. I'll be back in a few." Jacob said as he headed to the door but stopped to pause before quickly heading over to Seth and pulling the younger man into a gentle hug.

"You want to come?" Jacob asked hopefully. Jacob didn't know why….but he just felt more at ease whenever Seth was by his side.

"Um….it's okay...I'll just chill here till you get back." Seth answered sadly, trying to smile and reassure Jacob.

"Alright. See you in a few." Jacob said with a sweet smile before exiting the house. Seth walked to the window and saw Jacob jump in his truck and back out of the drive way. Before pulling off, Jacob blew the horn and waved to Seth. Seth smiled and waved back and Jacob pulled off finally. Seth couldn't help but wonder if the future could ever be like this….both of them happily married and living together, hugging and kissing each other goodbye in the morning as Jacob headed off to work. But Seth sighed knowing that was just a dream. It could never happen.

Throwing himself onto the couch. Seth reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone and began dialing Collin's number. It took about two rings before the line picked up and Seth heard Collin's bright and cheery voice on the other end.

"Hey Seth! What's up?" Collin greeted.

"Hey …" Seth stalled. He truly was happy to speak to his dear friend but then everything that had recently happened replayed in his head.

"You okay man?" Collin asked with concern, hearing Seth's uncertainty.

"Yeah, I'm cool. I just wanted to let you know I'm at Jacob's and he said he was getting some pizzas cause Quil and Embry would be over." Seth answered.

"Embry is coming?" Collin almost screamed into the phone, forcing Seth to pull it away from his ear for fear of losing his hearing.

"Yeah, I thought you might want to be here for that. So get your but over here." Seth said with a slight giggle.

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you Seth. I'll be right there." Collin practically squealed before hanging up. Closing his phone. Seth sank back on the couch and pondered if staying for the party was such a good idea. Seth figured it was already too late though since he had already invited Collin and the younger man was on his way now. Feeling exhaustion overtake him, Seth leaned back on the couch to rest his eyes for a few minutes while he waited for Collin and Jacob.

* * *

A loud banging at the front door abruptly woke Seth who found himself with his face buried in the pillows of the couch and a bit of drool running down his mouth. Seth giggled to himself to realize he had fallen asleep for much longer than he intended. He looked at the clock. It had been thirty minutes. Where was Jacob? What was keeping him? Seth figured Jacob would have been back long before now. But the door banging continued and Seth figured he ought to go see who it was. Maybe Jacob forgot his key.

Upon leaving the living room and making his way to the kitchen, he could see through the windowed door Collin waving maniacally from the other side. Seth laughed to himself before rushing over to open the door. Before he could fully open the door, Collin had leapt through and greeted Seth with a tight hug.

"Hey buddy!" Collin said happily, taking Seth by surprise.

"Hey Collin, how are you?" Seth said blushing slightly at Collin's over affectionate behavior.

"I'm okay. Penny was being a nuisance but I escaped. I talked her into spending the night at her best friend's house since Dad would be working late. Sorry I took so long getting here, but I had to help her pack her overnight bag and walk her over to Lavender's." Collin explained, reflecting back on his little sister and the trouble she could be at times, but deep down he loved her to bits. Seth merely laughed along with Collin at the story but upon closer observation, Collin noticed Seth's quiet nature….well….more quiet than usual. There was sadness in his eyes and face although the older boy was trying his best to conceal it.

"Seth…um…. did something happen? Is something wrong?" Collin asked, leading Seth by the hand to the living room to sit down.

"Why is everyone asking me that? I am fine." Seth said with exasperation. But Collin merely gave him the "are you serious or stupid?" look and Seth's face fell into one of apology.

"Well…this may sound weird but…I kind of…when I came over earlier, I sort of walked in on them." Seth admitted.

"Them who?" Collin inquired.

"Jacob and Bella….doing it." Seth replied. Instantly Collin gasped as he just imagined what that must have been like for Seth. Collin had liked Embry for just as long as Seth has liked Jacob and if Collin ever walked in on Embry doing something with anyone he didn't know what he would do.

"Oh my god, Seth…I...I'm so sorry." Collin wrapped his arms around Seth as Seth leaned into the younger boy and began crying softly. Seth didn't want to be so weak…especially around Collin. Seth felt like since he was older than Collin, he should be strong for Collin's sake but he couldn't help the quiet tremors of sadness that shook him to the core. Collin merely held him protectively, rocking back and forth and rubbing his back comfortingly.

"No, it's okay…I…I mean, I know they've slept together before. Hell, everyone knows they have. I just…" Seth reasoned, understanding how foolish he was for entertaining the idea that Jacob was still pure.

"It was different actually hearing it, actually being here and seeing it with your own eyes…wasn't it?" Collin finished Seth's thought. Pulling himself up to wipe his eyes, Seth looked Collin in the face before nodding in agreement.

"Yes….I… I'm so stupid." Seth muttered darkly.

"No you're not Seth. Don't say that." Collin reprimanded.

"And the way he said it, he said it was just sex and that they've been going at it like this plenty of times behind Edward's back." Seth said, furiously wiping at his never ending tears.

"What makes me think I could ever compare to her…she's so beautiful and she makes him happy and…" Seth cried but Collin hugged the older boy again to cut off his self deprecating rant. Seth was Collin's best friend and the younger man would not sit here while he beat himself up.

"Stop it Seth. Don't ever compare yourself to her. You're better than that." Collin chastised.

"Come on buddy; let's wash those tears off your face." Collin chirped happily, pulling Seth up to his feet and leading him upstairs to the bathroom.

Once in the confines of the bathroom, Collin led Seth over to the sink where he turned on some cold water and helped Seth lean down to wash his face. Seth began dowsing his face with handfuls of cold refreshing water just as before, hoping to wash away his troubles. He felt bad that Collin had to babysit him so much, but that was why he loved the younger man as much as he did. He was like the brother Seth never had. Suddenly they heard a bang at the door followed by the sound of it being kicked open. Both Seth and Collin jumped at the sound and instantly grabbed on to each other out of fear.

"Hey man, we got the beer!" They heard Paul shout from downstairs. Both of them laughed with relief, believing it to be some kind of burglar which was absurd since both Seth and Collin were shape-shifting wolves and could have easily taken care of themselves against a mere human burglar. Exiting the bathroom, they made their way to the steps to head down to greet the others but when they heard the others talking amongst themselves, Seth stopped suddenly, causing Collin to bump into him.

"Hey, why did you stop so suddenly?" Collin whined with annoyance but Seth just shushed him as they stood motionless at the top of the steps.

Down stairs, Jacob, Paul, Jared, Embry and Quil had filed into the kitchen unloading the boxes of pizza and numerous cases of beer. While the others began digging into the food, Jacob began opening bottles of beer and passing them around, rolling his eyes as Paul snatched one out of his hand without so much as a thank you.

"Dude, where is that little queer at? I though you said he was here." Quil piped up, half swallowing his pizza. Jared and Paul began snickering but Jacob almost dropped his bottle as anger filled his entire body and he felt the tremors of a shift coming on.

"What the hell did you call him?" Jacob asked threateningly, but Quil just shrugged past Jacob as if he was un-phased by Jacob's anger. Paul and Jared exchanged knowing looks at the interaction just now, both just hoping a fight would start to really liven up the night. Thankfully, Embry added his reasonable two cents to try and calm things down….as was usually his job amongst the more foul tempered wolves of the pack.

"Quil shut the fuck up. It hasn't even been five minutes since we got here and you're already acting stupid." Embry retorted, rolling his eyes at Quil's stupid behavior.

"Oh come on. Don't act like you guys have never suspected Seth." Quil said laughing.

"Now that you mention it, he does kind of act like a fag." Jared said, supporting Quil.

"Leave Seth the hell alone. He's not a queer." Jacob said firmly, as he put the remaining beers in the refrigerator; trying to ignore the others guys' comments.

"Dude, you got to admit, it's kind of strange that he's never had a girlfriend before." Paul said between fits of laughter. "I'll even bet that little pretty fucker is still a fucking virgin." Paul added which only caused Quil and Jared to burst out laughing even more. All the while, Jacob kept his head down, his shoulders shaking with anger. He knew his friends were just being stupid pricks as always but why couldn't they leave Seth alone? Anytime he was around Seth for whatever reason they started in on the younger boy, ranting about how gay they believed he was. Jacob didn't want to believe it, Seth couldn't be gay. He couldn't be. That would ruin things for him….for everyone. That would mean he was a fag too…because he cared for him and wanted him so much…..and he was not going to turn into something so low…so disgusting…he would not be made a mockery of, not by the pack, not by his friends…not anyone….

"_This is Seth's fucking fault. He's the fucking reason I'm turning into a fucking fag_." Jacob voiced to himself. _"Isn't he? Isn't he the reason I want him so much?"_ Jacob continued to question himself while the others went on with their chatter.

"I'm telling you, that kid is a queer. I've always suspected him ever since we were young." Quil explained. Jared and Paul nodded their agreement, however Embry remained silent. The fatherless member of the pack didn't care to start in on Seth because he cared about the younger man and he just found it pointless to gossip about people, especially behind their backs.

"Hey guys. Just drop it okay." Embry tried to reason, shaking his head in annoyance.

"Come on Embry, don't you agree with us on this one? Don't tell me you've never suspected that kid?" Jared inquired.

"Seth's a fag. Always has been. Jake I don't even know why you're such good friends with him. You like fags or something?" Paul questioned.

"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPP!" Jacob finally shouted with a deadly tone, his voice carrying the weight of not only his rage but an alpha command as well. Everyone in the room went silent as they looked down to see that in his rage, Jacob had smashed the glass bottle of beer he was holding within the palm of his large hands.

"Okay, Okay. Sheesh." Paul said rolling his eyes as he guzzled down his beer.

"And no I don't like fags and Seth's not one, got it you dumbasses?" Jacob added coldly. Paul just rolled his eyes, Jared, Quil and Embry immediately nodded, none of them meaning or even expecting Jacob to explode like that.

"Man, lighten up. We're just kidding around, you know…having a good time. It's not that serious." Quil reasoned, patting Jacob on the shoulder.

"Jake man, I'm sorry. Look, let's drink and make up, okay. Truce?" Paul said, grabbing a new beer and tossing it towards Jacob who caught it without any thought or much effort other than sheer reflex.

"Fine. Whatever." Jacob replied, keeping his head turned away from the others as he began helping himself to some pizza.

However, at the top of the stairs, Seth and Collin heard everything. Collin looked worriedly to Seth and hugged him tight, knowing that Seth took to heart what the others were saying about him. Seth felt dejected and downright worthless when he heard his pack brothers speak that way about him. He always knew they didn't like him but Seth wanted so badly just to be loved by them, to be cared about…he wanted so badly to fit in and feel like he belonged amongst the pack but there was no chance of that now that he heard what Paul, Jared and Quil really thought of him.

"Don't listen to them." Collin encouraged Seth, but Seth couldn't help but feel his eyes water all over again. Seth nodded his head to try to show Collin that he was listening to him but he couldn't help but not blame the pack. Seth always had known he was different…he just didn't think being different would ever turn out to be so bad.

"We might as well go now." Seth said solemnly. Nodding, Collin followed as Seth tried to fake a small smile and make his way downstairs to the living room.

Back in the kitchen, the others were piling their plates high with pizza, but ever since Jacob's outburst moments before, things had gotten a bit too quiet and awkward.

"Hey Jake, didn't you say Seth and that Collin kid we're here?" Embry asked Jacob, in an attempt to break the awkward silence.

"They're probably just hanging out in my room. I'll go get them and let them know food is here." Jacob answered. But just on cue, Seth and Colin appeared in the doorway. Everyone stopped and exchanged glances, all wondering if maybe the two had heard their conversation earlier. Paul and Jared tried to stifle their snickers, but Jacob gave them a threatening glare.

"Hey guys...um... what's up?" Seth said with a wave of the hand as he and Collin walked into the room.

"Hey." The others said in unison, waving back. Jacob walked over, his hardened face softening at the sight of Seth. Jacob didn't care what the others said about Seth or himself for that matter…because whenever he laid his eyes on his boy, it was like nothing else mattered and his life actually seemed worth living. Slinging his arm around Seth's shoulders, Jacob smiled at Seth sweetly.

"You miss me when I was gone?" Jacob asked cutely, but Seth just shrugged, trying not to show how much he was enjoying the attention; not while everyone's eyes were on them like this.

"Sure, of course." Seth said.

"Hey Jake, took you long enough." Collin piped up. Jacob just smiled at the youngest wolf present, nudging him in greeting. Collin smiled back, scanning the room to have his eyes land on the love of his life, Embry. Embry who was wolfing down a slice of pizza stopped to smile at him, which made Collin blush. Walking over, Embry handed a plate to both Seth and Collin.

"You guys might want to eat up before the pigs finish everything off." Embry said nodding his head accusingly over at Paul, Quil and Jared.

"Hey!" Quil barked back.

"Yeah, you guys something to eat. But no beer for you two, you're still under age." Paul added

"Yeah yeah, whatever we know." Collin said giggling; knowing he and Seth wouldn't be drinking with the other guys.

"Let's go into the living room with the TV. We picked up some scary DVDs. Jared even brought some porn." Quil said excitedly. Paul, Jared, Jacob and Embry all giving wolf howls at the mention of that. Seth and Collin merely shook their heads and started laughing at the others' immaturity.

* * *

After settling down into the living room to eat, they began watching the movies that Jared had picked up for them. Horror movies to be exact, and despite the wolf pack's pride in being fearless and strong, the seven guys here were still pretty unnerved by what they were watching. Paul, Jared and Embry were relaxing on the large couch, Quil was laying on one of the single recliners, Jacob was sprawled out on the floor in front of the large couch and Seth and Collin lay huddled against the couch together; both playing tug war with a blanket as to hide their eyes and look away.

"Um…what did you say was the name of this movie?" Jared asked nervously, scratching the back of his head.

"Eat the Dead." Paul answered, the only one who looked somewhat bored with the monstrous and cannibalistic behavior displayed on the screen.

"WHOA!" Everyone shouted in unison as the horrific image of a decrepit corpse flashed on the flat screen television, vomiting what appeared to be squirming maggots.

"Um….I think I'm going to be sick. I got to go to the bathroom." Collin muttered lowly as he hurried up from his position on the floor and upstairs to the bathroom. Seth looked up with worry.

"Collin?" Seth called out nervously to his friend.

"I guess he had too much to drink." Jared snickered, causing Paul and Quil to join him in their obnoxious laughter. Seth looked to the others, wondering what was so funny, even Embry was laughing.

"What the fuck did you assholes do?" Jacob asked with a knowing smirk on his face.

"Nothing, just gave the pup his first real taste of alcohol." Paul admitted with a shit eating smirk on his face.

"Yeah, it's about time we got him wasted." Quil laughed.

"You dickheads." Embry said, laughing right along with them, much to Seth's disappointment. He knew Paul, Jared and Quil and even Jacob were capable of pulling harsh pranks like this but he didn't think Embry would find it amusing, especially something done to Collin. He stood up from his place on the floor.

"You guys, that wasn't very nice. Collin has a really weak stomach." Seth said "I'm going to go check on him." But suddenly another horrific scene began on the television screen as zombies began rising from their graves on the movie. Seth hopped back down on the floor and huddled underneath the blanket he was holding.

"Seth, what are you doing all the way over there? Get your ass over here." Jacob called out to Seth. Seth was confused. He didn't know if Jacob was upset at him and he didn't know why, but he didn't disobey. He nervously got up to walk over to Jacob, but he saw a cocky smirk on Jacob's face and the mischief in his eyes. Before he knew it, Jacob had grabbed Seth's wrist roughly and pulled the younger man down on the floor on top of him, holding him tight in a bear hug.

"Aww, aren't they so cute." Quil mocked.

"The Bromance again?" Jared asked in a tired groaned.

"Dude, come on. Can you guys take that gay shit somewhere else?" Paul complained.

"Fuck you!" Jacob retorted coldly. Turning his attention back to Seth. He was holding Seth in-between his legs, his chest to Seth's back, and resting his chin on Seth's shoulder.

"Don't listen to them okay, they're just asses sometimes." Jacob whispered gently into Seth's ear as he squeezed the younger man gently.

"Okay." Seth replied softly.

"Hey, if you were sacred, why didn't you tell me? We could have watched something else." Jacob whispered to Seth.

"No...It's fine. You guys were enjoying it so it's no big deal but I'd better go check on Collin to make sure he's okay." Seth whispered back. Jacob sighed heavily. He really didn't want to let Seth go and deep down it kind of annoyed Jacob the way Seth clung to Collin the way he did. Jacob felt like he was Seth's friend first and should always be first but he dare not voice this to Seth in fear of sounding suspicious and a bit ridiculous. Besides, Jacob knew now was not the time or place for such thoughts. He reluctantly let go of Seth, allowing the young man to leave.

Making his way back upstairs to the bathroom, Seth ran; taking two steps at a time to get to Collin faster. When he arrived at the bathroom door, he saw it was wide open with Collin heaved over the toilet, vomiting out the spiked substance he had consumed.

"Oh my God, Collin are you okay?" Seth asked with concern as he knelt down to wipe the sheen of sweat from Collin's brow. Collin looked up with dilated eyes and flushed cheeks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry about me. I'm g...g….oh god." Collin chocked out before throwing his head into the toilet once more to release the acidic liquid that burned in his stomach. Seth went to the sink and grabbed one of the spare wash cloths from beside the basin and doused it heavily in ice cold water from the sink's faucet. Seth then brought the damp rag to Collin, placing it gently on the younger man's head, in an attempt to cool the heated temperature of his forehead. Seth gritted his teeth. This was just cruel.

"_Its' one thing for them to pick on me…but to pick on Collin is just mean."_ Seth thought to himself.

"I'll be right back. I'll get you some water to drink." Seth said, patting Collin on the shoulder. As Seth left the bathroom, he noticed that Jacob's bedroom door was open and it was dark inside but he heard Jacob from within. Walking toward s the door, he saw Jacob was sitting on the bed, speaking with someone over his cell phone. Seth wondered who Jacob was speaking with but didn't have to ponder too long as even in the dark; he could see a dark scowl on Jacob's features letting Seth know it could only be Bella on the phone. Only she caused Jacob to become this upset.

"Jake?" Seth called out into the dark bedroom. Jacob looked up from his phone and looked harshly at Seth.

"What do you want?" Jacob asked coldly.

"Oh…um…I was just….well I heard you talking so…I thought something might be wrong and…" Seth tried to answer but Jacob put up a hand to cover the phone, cutting Seth off in mid sentence.

"Not now, I'm busy okay." Jacob said, turning back to the phone and picking up his whispered conversation.

"Who is it?" Seth asked.

"Bella." Jacob mouthed silently, confirming what Seth thought but what upset Seth the most was Jacob's blatant dismissal of him anytime Bella was involved.

"_Well, he loves her so of course he would choose her over me."_ Seth reasoned with himself as he turned to leave.

"Hey, bring me a beer when you get a chance." Jacob called out, not even turning to look at Seth. Seth simply nodded before walking back down the hall and back down stairs to get a water bottle for Collin and a beer for Jacob.

Walking back downstairs, Seth could see that everyone had migrated from the living room and back into the kitchen. Seth stopped short. He could hear the vulgar sounds of Paul, Jared, Quil and Embry engaged in conversation. Paul boasting about the latest trick he nailed last night and the other guys congratulating him. Seth knew if he went in now it would be like walking into the lion's den. Seth just knew the pack always waited until Jacob wasn't around to say something smart to him but he thought maybe if he was quick about it and just ran in and ran out with what he needed, maybe they wouldn't notice him.

Walking quickly in the kitchen, everyone abruptly stopped to notice Seth much to the youngest wolf's disappointment and when he saw Jared and Paul exchange knowing smirks he knew something was wrong.

"Excuse me." Seth said quietly to Embry who was leaning up against the refrigerator.

"Oh shit, sorry Seth. I didn't see you there." Embry said chuckling as he moved out of Seth's way. "Did you need something?" Embry asked.

"Oh, just grabbing water for Collin and a beer for Jake." Seth answered.

Embry smiled and reach into the refrigerator to pull out what Seth needed.

"Here you go man. So Seth, how you been?" Embry asked with a kind smile.

"Oh, I've been okay." Seth answered timidly. Seth always liked Embry and he knew if he didn't already want Jacob, Embry would have been too easy to fall in love with. Not only was Embry beautiful, with his muscled body, tall stature, wide shoulders, dark tanned skin and sharp features, but unlike most of the guys in the pack, Embry was very kind. However, Seth was snapped out of his reverie when Paul's voice rang out rudely.

"Hey, is Collin still puking his brains out?" Paul called out from the other side of the kitchen, laughing; making Embry roll his eyes.

"Um…yes." Seth said, lowering his head sadly.

"Hey, don't get all upset Seth. You know we were just pranking him, right? Tell Collin we didn't mean anything by it." Jared piped up, taking a swig of his beer.

"It's cool...um...speaking of which...I'd better get this water to him." Seth replied shyly, trying to make his exit. In his heart Seth wanted so much to be loved and cared for by these men…those he called his friends and pack brothers, but all they did was treat him as something insignificant. Seth knew if he didn't get away soon they would begin their cruel jokes with him so he tried to break away but before he could step back, Quil was already behind him, blocking his way.

"Nah, hold up there. Can't have you getting away from us too quickly." Quil said with a mischievous smirk.

"Yeah, this is one of the few rare moments when Jake isn't attached to you." Paul said with a sinister glint in his eyes as he and Jared approached Seth.

"What do you mean?" Seth asked.

"Loosen up a bit man, have something to drink. We won't tell your mom." Jared said with mock encouragement. Paul, Jared and Quil were now closely huddled around Seth, the younger man nervous as to why they all looked at him like he was something good to eat…or chew out, however one looked at it. Seth's only comfort was that Embry was still standing right beside him, and the older man noticed the way that Paul, Jared and Quil started sharing small laughs in between them and he knew that they were just trying to corner Seth. Embry sighed heavily. He never understood why his pack mates always did this to people, but then again Embry knew he was guilty too. He always would laugh along with them, never saying anything more and never defending those his pack mates picked on. But he didn't want to see Seth hurt, not now.

"Look guys, stop crowding Seth and give the man some air. Just leave him alone." Embry said trying to stick up for Seth but Paul shot his attempt down.

"Embry, I think Seth can speak for himself. We're not going to hurt him, we just want to talk." Paul said snickering, Jared and Quil laughing as well.

"But…I'd better get this to Collin so…." Seth said, trying to pull away from the group but Quil wrapped his arms around Seth's waist and held him in place to prevent the younger man from leaving.

"Now hold on a sec, don't try to get away from us so fast. Sheesh. Don't you have time to spare for your elder pack brothers?" Quil taunted in Seth's ear. Seth jerked away and the others laughed at his attempt as Jared took the water and beer that the younger man was holding.

"Will you guys lay off him." Embry said with determination, trying to step in front of Seth. This however made the others laugh at him for interrupting their fun.

"Embry, when the fuck have you ever been anything but passive?" Paul accused and Embry instantly felt guilty, knowing they were right. He never defended anyone, he just went along with the crowd.

"Yeah, you don't care anymore about the pups than we do so stop being so damn nice all the time. Sheesh. Why don't you go take that water to Collin so the fag doesn't pass out." Jared said cruelly.

"Don't call him that! Jeeze!" Embry snapped back, grabbing the water out of Jared's hand and storming out of the kitchen to go find and help Collin. Embry knew he probably should have stayed to make sure they don't push Seth to the point of tears this time, but he was so upset at their accusing words he had to get away.

"What the fuck is his problem?" Quil asked with a smirk. Paul just shrugged his shoulders. But Jared's eyes lightened up as if something just came to him.

"Oh, didn't you guys hear? He just broke up with Jasmine." Jared piped up.

"Guys…I…I really should get back upstairs. Jake asked for this." Seth said pointing to the beer that Jared had took from him.

"Yeah, I bet you can't wait to run back to Jake, huh Seth? I bet you're also really happy that Jake is home, right?" Quil asked, looking to Jared and Paul knowingly.

"Yeah...um…I guess." Seth answered.

"Yeah, I'll bet." Jared said with a snicker.

Seth looked in between the three of them, all wearing cocky smirks and sharing knowing looks of amusement as they looked Seth up and down. Things like this made Seth feel so little and he never could understand why he was always the target for their cruel antics. Did they dislike him that much?

"You know, to be honest; I used to always wonder why Jacob hung out with you anyway." Paul said in mock kindness to Seth, who instantly felt like he was punched in the gut. _"What does that mean? Did Jacob saying something to them about me?"_ Seth wondered.

"Yeah, when we were younger, Jacob once told me the only reason he befriended you was cause he felt sorry for you." Quil admitted smartly.

"Man, shut up. That's not cool." Jared said with a chuckle as they noticed Seth's head hanging low. Seth fought with everything he had not to cry there on the spot.

"Sorry but it's true." Quil laughed.

"So Seth, you're finally eighteen now. Gonna finally become a man this summer?" Paul asked, leaning closely to Seth.

"What…What do you mean?" Seth asked quietly, trying to back away.

"Come on Seth, don't be so shy. You know what we mean." Quil said, patting Seth on the back.

"Yeah, when was the last time you got laid?" Jared inquired.

"I think the better question here is when have you ever gotten laid?" Paul chuckled.

"I don't even think I've ever seen you with pussy before." Jared laughed.

"Dude, are you really still a virgin?" Quil asked with a sly and knowing smirk, trying not to burst out laughing at the younger man.

"Um…well…" Seth struggled to find the words but he felt so humiliated and alone, he couldn't even think of what to say.

"Aww Lighten up Seth, we're just fooling with you man. You know us, we never bite too hard." Jared laughed.

"Unless you ask us to." Paul said wagging his eyebrows suggestively as he grabbed at Seth's belt buckle and began unfastening it. Seth panicked and squirmed and Jared laughed at his attempts as Quil continued holding Seth from behind.

"Guys stop…please." Seth pleaded with tears in his eyes as he finally broke out of their grasp.

"Look, I've been wondering about this forever now and I just got to know so I'm going to just ask you straight out and answer me yes or no." Jared said approaching Seth again. "Are you a fag or something?" Jared asked teasingly.

"Huh?" Seth froze, feeling himself breaking into a cold sweat.

"He didn't stutter. He asked are you a fucking homo." Paul clarified with a smirk.

"Um…uh…come on guys, you know I'm not like that." Seth tried to explain.

"Yeah, sure you're not." Jared spoke with sarcasm, rolling his eyes and laughing.

"What do you mean by that?" Seth asked.

"You tell us Seth. Last time I checked, guys didn't give each other jewelry." Quil said reaching to Seth's dream catcher necklace and flicking it carelessly. Seth immediately stepped back and wrapped his hands around the dream catcher protectively.

"It was a birthday gift." Seth answered keeping his head down as his eyes watered.

"Oh watch out man, I think you hit a nerve. He's actually crying." Paul teased.

"Hey man, you don't have to get so defensive. We know you got the hots for Jake." Jared added.

"What?" Seth gasped. He felt like his heart froze. He wasn't ashamed of who he was…but he knew that the pack and his tribe condemned people like himself and therefore he never wanted it to get out.

"So how long have you been sucking cock anyway?" Paul inquired with a dark smile.

"What? Why...why would you say that to me…? I don't…I've never…" Seth tried to get the words out but was cut off by Quil.

"See, I told you guys he was still wet behind the ears." Quil said cruelly, punching Seth lightly on the shoulder.

"If you're really curious Seth, I'll let you suck me. But it's going to cost you." Paul said darkly as he approached Seth and teasingly grabbed at his belt buckle again.

"Stop it!" Seth shouted with fright, his eyes wide with hurt that his pack brothers would tease him this way. But Quil and Jared both grabbed Seth by the arms to hold him in place as Paul unbuckled the boy's pants. Seth began crying and Paul, Quil and Jared only laughed at him.

"Calm the fuck down, we're just playing with you, sheesh." Jared said grabbing Seth from behind and pulling the younger man back into his hips make Seth feel his hard on. "Fuck, you must be gay if you can get me that hard." Jared teased, Paul and Quil laughing cruelly.

"I bet he's just upset cause he really wants to suck you off." Jared said to Paul, pushing Seth roughly at Paul who grabbed the younger man in his strong arms into a crushing hold and bit roughly at Seth's ear.

"How about it fag, you want it?" Paul mocked, taking a hold of Seth's slim waist and grinding himself into the younger man as he rubbed his lips across Seth's. Seth was scared, he could feel Paul's hardness through his denim jeans and a part of him wondered was this really happening.

"Stop it!" Seth cried, as Paul proceed to push Seth violently into Quil's arms who pushed the younger man back to Jared. The three older men began pushing Seth roughly in between them as Seth began crying, pleading for them to leave him alone.

"Stop being such a pussy about it." Quil said, grabbing Seth as he tried to get away and pushing him back into the corner where they could keep pushing him around.

"Seth where the hell have you been? I've been waiting forever for you to bring me my beer." Jacob asked with annoyance as he entered the kitchen. At the sound of Jacob's voice, everyone stopped and stepped away from Seth, who was left looking stupid with tear stained cheeks and hurt written clearly on his face.

"Oh...um...uh…I'm Sorry." Seth apologized timidly, as he tried to avoid eye contact with Jacob. However, Jacob saw the tears and Seth's pain and his heart clenched with worry and anger for whatever caused Seth to cry.

"Seth, what's wrong?" Jacob asked walking up to Seth.

"Uh...uhm nothing I just need to get some air." Seth muttered anxiously as he left, tears threatening to spill forth at any moment. As soon as Seth left the room, Paul, Jared and Quil burst into a fit of raucous laughter and bellows.

"Oh my god, did you see his face?" Quil said laughing. Jacob instantly knew what had happened. Jacob only left Seth alone for a few minutes, and that's all it took for his idiot pack brothers to attack the younger boy.

"What the fuck did you guys say to him?" Jacob shouted at the three other men, who all blinked a few times at Jacob's outburst before laughing at him.

"Chill out Jacob, we were just messing around with him." Paul said with a satisfied smirk.

"Yeah, you don't have to take it so seriously." Quil added. Jacob only slammed his hand angrily on the kitchen counter, causing it to shake.

"What the fuck did you assholes say to him?" Jacob asked angrily.

"We didn't say anything to him. We wanted to just know if your so called best friend is a fag or not." Paul snapped back.

"I told you fuckers to leave Seth alone!" Jacob shouted jumping in Paul's face, knowing the older man was the main antagonist out of all of them.

"Hey back off Jake, Seth is just a fag. Why are you even friends with him?" Quil inquired, pulling Jacob away from Paul who just smirked at Jacob, wanting nothing more than to engage the alpha in a fight.

"Seth is not a fucking fag you dumbass!" Jacob replied hotly, jerking his arm out of Quil's hold.

"Stop defending that queer Jake. Seth's a fag. If I asked to push my cock in his ass he would bend over faster than my last bitch." Paul spat cruelly with a laugh. At those words, all Jacob could do was lunge forward and push hard at Paul's chest causing the older man to stumble backwards before catching himself.

"YOU MOTHER FUCKER! Don't you ever fucking talk about him like that!" Jacob shouted as he balled up his fist and made ready to punch Paul's head clean off his shoulders. Jacob didn't know what infuriated him more, how Paul was talking about Seth or the image of Paul fucking Seth; but before Jacob could land his anger filled attack on Paul he was pulled away from said man by Quil and Jared.

"Whoa! Time out!" Quil said, struggling to keep a hold on Jacob.

"Dude, chill. Damn it! Jake, we were just playing with him. Lighten up." Jared added. No one was laughing anymore. Things had gotten serious. Most times the pack's antics never got to the heated level of them actually fighting amongst themselves. Paul just stood there, shocked. He would never back down from a fight, but he really didn't want to start drama with Jacob over something like this.

"Jake look, come on man, I'm just playing, okay You know us. . We were all just having some fun. It's nothing to get excited about." Paul said in a serious tone.

"Yeah man. No harm, no foul." Jared added, patting Jacob on his back to calm Jacob, whose shoulders were trembling, itching to phase into his wolf form.

"Look, we won't mess with him anymore okay, deal?" Quil reasoned as he finally let go of Jacob.

"You better not." Jacob said, turning away from them to leave the kitchen. As he made it to the door, he looked over his shoulder back to the three of them.

"And another thing, keep your God damn hands off of him." Jacob warned threateningly before leaving the room.

Paul, Jared and Quil all stood there a bit dumbfounded at what had just occurred.

"Jeeze, what the fuck is his problem?" Paul asked hotly.

"You know I liked him a lot better before he started going to college." Jared added, all of them nodding their heads in agreement.

* * *

Outside, Seth was sitting on Jacob's porch looking out into the dark night. The sun had gone long ago and the only sound in the darkness was the street lights and the noise of crickets in the thicket of woods behind Jacob's house and up ahead surrounding the main road. Wiping his eyes dry, Seth felt downright stupid and worthless. He thought today would be such a good day, he tried his best to stay positive but it was as if one thing lead to another. What hurt the most was knowing that he couldn't run to Jacob and tell him how he really felt about the entire thing.

"_If only Jake was gay…none of this would be happening. We could be together…and be strong together."_ Seth thought to himself. Seth knew either way it might not be easy with the expectations of their pack, their families and their tribe…but at least he wouldn't feel so alone in this. Suddenly the front door to the house creaked open, waking Seth up from his mental conflict. Turning around, Seth saw Jacob walk through the door and approach him, an apologetic look of sincerity on his face.

"Hey man, you okay?" Jacob asked as he took a seat next to Seth.

"Me? Oh...umm…yeah...of course. Why wouldn't I be?" Seth replied with a gentle smile, trying to mask the hurt he felt. Jacob sighed.

"Seth, you know...you can talk to me if something is bothering you." Jacob said taking Seth by the shoulders and turning the younger man to face him. Jacob looked over the younger man and felt his stomach fill with butterflies and his heart swell. Seeing the pale moonlight shining on Seth's beautiful and youthful face…Jacob saw how beautiful Seth was…his Seth, and he wanted nothing more than to take the younger man in his arms and kiss and hold him and make Seth his. He just wanted to show Seth that he would love him and make everything okay…but most of all show the younger man that he wasn't alone.

"I'm fine Jake. I just…um…I just got a call from Leah is all. She said it's time for me to come home so…." Seth lied, looking down as to avoid eye contact. He knew if he looked Jacob in the eyes than he couldn't lie to him.

"What? But why?" Jacob asked.

"Well…um…I kind of…uh...promised mom I would be back by dinner." Seth made up quickly.

"Well….alright then…let's go." Jacob took Seth's hand in his larger one and pulled the younger man up with him. Seth's eyes went t wide. He hoped to just lie and make his escape quickly but he never thought Jacob would try to follow him home…but then again when did Jacob ever let Seth get his own way.

"Jake, no…you don't have to. I'll be alright on my own." Seth said, trying to pull his hand free.

"You really think I'm going to let you walk out here by yourself?" Jacob asked with annoyance.

"But Jake…" Seth tried to reason with him, but Jacob quickly cut him off.

"Just shut up and come on." Jacob said, pulling Seth along by the arm against his will.

"Wait! I have to go get Colin. I have to make sure he's okay and take him home." Seth said suddenly, remembering that Embry went to check on Collin. Jacob smiled at Seth encouragingly.

"Don't worry, Embry will take care of it. I'll see to it. Now come on." Jacob assured Seth.

Taking Seth by the hand Jacob led Seth down the main road as they began walking to Seth's house, which wasn't that far from where they currently were. Seth looked over to observe their joined hands and entwined fingers. Seth smiled to himself, feeling the butterflies fluttering in the pit of his stomach and feeling light as air. He blushed when he looked up to see Jacob watching him. The older man smiled warmly, his dark and intense eyes boring into Seth's. Seth couldn't help but lean into Jacob, who happily took Seth in his arms. Wrapping his arm around Seth, Jacob held the younger man close as they continued down the road in silence. Seth couldn't get over how right this felt…how perfect this was as they continued on in the summer night, the moonlight guiding their way.

"Look Seth, don't listen to them, okay." Jacob said all of a sudden, breaking the silence.

"Who?" Seth questioned, looking up.

"You know how the pack is. They can be assholes sometimes." Jacob said with amusement; chuckling darkly. Seth looked down sadly, remembering what had happened back at Jacob's house.

"Oh….yeah, it's okay…I just…feel kind of bad about Collin. I should've walked him home." Seth replied, feeling guilty for leaving without Collin. Jacob just pulled Seth closer, rubbing his large hands on Seth's back comfortingly.

"Don't worry. Before we left the house, I saw Embry taking care of him. Embry is a good guy; he'll make sure Collin gets home safely." Jacob assured Seth.

"Thanks." Seth said in a whisper as he glanced up to look at Jacob.

As they walked in silence again, they came to the thicket of woods that had the shortcut Seth had taken to get here. Seth trembled slightly. At night, the woods looked frightful but their enhanced wolf senses allowed them to see perfectly.

"Don't worry. I won't let the big bad wolf get you." Jacob said with a chuckle, holding Seth tightly as they continued through the path in the woods. Seth just giggled and held on to the older man, following him and enjoying the comfortable silence between them both. When they made it out of the woods, they came to a street where Seth's house was.

"So…what's up with you? And be honest with me." Jacob asked sincerely.

"What do you mean?" Seth replied. Jacob just smiled knowingly at Seth as they kept walking.

"I mean, are you going to tell me what's really been bothering you since I've been back?" Jacob asked.

"Jake….." Seth began, not wanting to get into it. Seth knew that Jacob felt like he was keeping something from the older man since he returned home from college but Seth knew that if Jacob knew the truth…Seth sighed deeply. He always carried this love for Jacob…but lately the sadness of knowing that they could never be became harder and harder to conceal; making Jacob suspicious as to what Seth was keeping from him. But how was Seth supposed to tell Jacob he was gay and in love with him.

"Seth, why can't you just tell me? I'm your best friend…at least I'm supposed to be. It's like ever since you started hanging out with Collin, you don't tell me anything anymore." Jacob said with a mixture of stinging coldness and hurt as he brought them to a stop right in front of the Clearwater house.

"That's not true Jacob! I…Collin has just been a good friend to me since you left, that's all." Seth cried his eyes stinging with hurt.

"Oh Shit, Seth...I didn't mean to make you cry or anything." Jacob said wearily, taking Seth by the waist and pulling the younger man back into his arms.

"Seth…come on man, you know I don't mean anything by it. You know how my temper gets sometimes…I'm sorry buddy, I just….just….I just don't like having secrets between us like this." Jacob said, his hand cupping Seth's cheek; and wiping the younger man's tears away with his thumb.

"Seth." Jacob gently grabbed Seth's chin, forcing the younger man to look up at him. Seth's heart rate accelerated and for a moment he felt like Jacob was going to kiss him, but the older man just smiled and hugged him tightly.

"Jacob…do you think that…there's something wrong with me?" Seth asked in almost a whisper.

"What? What are you talking about?" Jacob replied with a deep chuckle, pulling back to look Seth in the eyes. Seth looked to the side, not knowing how to voice his thoughts.

"Well…you know, sometimes people….I guess people see me differently than you do…some people think I'm different…I don't know how to say it." Seth struggled to find the words. Jacob took a hold of Seth's chin and turned the younger man's face back to look at him.

"Seth, listen to me. There's nothing different or wrong with you. Well, you are special of course but….you've always been special Seth. That's just who you are." Jacob assured Seth.

"You really think that?" Seth asked hopefully. Jacob pressed their foreheads together and closed his eyes. Jacob wanted to laugh to himself. Holding his Seth like this in the night…it all just felt too right, it felt too perfect. _"Why can't this be real?"_ Jacob asked himself. He smiled, knowing he was wrong for feeling this way for Seth. But it was such a sweet sin that Jacob struggled to keep himself in check. Jacob knew he could never be gay…..he couldn't be a freak, but he knew he couldn't stop caring for his Seth, and it was times like this when it was just the two of them that it became more and more clear.

"Of course I do Seth, you know I do." Jacob asked with love in his eyes. "Now it's time for me to ask you a question." Jacob added slyly.

"Um….sure." Seth replied nervously.

"You're not scared of me are you?" Jacob asked seductively with a confident smirk.

"Wh…what…of course not Jacob…you're my best friend." Seth stuttered out, breaking into a sweat under Jacob's smoldering gaze. Jacob let out a deep chuckle, amused at how easily he could make Seth so nervous and unsure.

"Look Seth, I just…I ask cause I don't want you to be…afraid to come to me. You know you can always come to me for anything, right Seth?" Jacob said with a smile.

"I know that Jacob…I know." Seth said, resting his head on Jacob's hard chest. Jacob tightened his arms around Seth…his Seth. Looking down on the younger, shorter man, Jacob noticed Seth wearing the silver dream catcher necklace he gave him several nights ago upon his return to the rez.

"You look really good in that. I'm glad you're wearing it tonight." Jacob complemented Seth, touching the dream catcher necklace that hung from around Seth's neck, feeling the cool metal against his hot skin. Seth wrapped his hands around Jacob's as they both stood there holding the dream catcher.

"Thanks. I'm glad you gave it to me." Seth said shyly.

"So, you'll come back over tomorrow, won't you?" Jacob asked raising his eyebrows in pleading.

"Oh yeah…uh…sure." Seth agreed.

"I wish you could just stay the night." Jacob said with a childish pout.

"You'll have your hands full enough in the morning with a hung-over wolf pack in your house." Seth countered giggling.

"You forget our super healing makes it almost impossible to suffer from a hangover." Jacob reminded Seth.

"Hopefully, I'll see you tomorrow." Seth said stepping back but Jacob caught Seth by his slender wrist and pulled the younger man back into his strong chest.

"Promise?" Jacob asked.

"Promise." Seth assured, blushing.

"Good night Seth." Jacob said in a quiet and yet powerful whisper.

"Bye." Seth replied. Both Jacob and Seth stood like that for some time, just in each other's arms before they noticed that it had started sprinkling rain from the sky, forcing them let go.

"It's raining." Seth stated the obvious.

"Yeahp." Jacob agreed looking up to the sky with a smile. "It's like…magic…I think you made this magic Seth." Jacob confessed. Seth looked down and blushed.

"Well…with a little help from you." Seth answered. "Will you be okay going back?" Seth asked.

"Of course. I'm just going to shift and run back." Jacob answered. Seth just nodded his head. The younger man walked up to his house, and turned back around when he opened the door to see Jacob still standing there, waving at him from the yard. Seth smiled and waved back before going into the house, his heart beat never slowing down for a minute.

* * *

Not too far away, someone else was being taken home. Embry and Collin sat quietly in Embry's truck as the older man drove through the light sprinkling rain that seemed to come out of nowhere. Since Collin had gotten sick, Embry felt really bad for the younger man so he took it upon himself to care for the young wolf while he recovered. As wolves, their bodies and immune systems were super fast healing machines therefore it was usually impossible for them to get sick however because of the heavy contents they put in Collin's drink, it caused his body not to become intoxicated but become feverish in trying to dispel of the harmful alcoholic liquids, not to mention the fact that Collin normally had a weak stomach in his human form.

Embry helped Collin clean up and recover, he even ran to the drug store to buy Collin a toothbrush to cleanse his mouth after all the vomiting. Afterward, Embry offered to drive him home, still feeling guilty for being a part of the prank. In actuality Embry didn't have anything to do with it, it was mainly Paul, Jared and Quil who started pouring things into Collin's cup before giving it to him but Embry saw and he didn't put a stop to it. This plagued Embry's conscious and he remembered what the others accused him of earlier tonight.

"_Embry, since when have you been anything but passive."_ Embry heard Paul's voice in his head, remembering what was said to him. Embry tightened his grip on the steering wheel as he became frustrated with it all. Was he really such a follower? Embry knew he never spoke out or defended those who the pack liked to pick on even though he never directly did any of the cruel things they did. But didn't that make him just as guilty if not worse? Embry looked over at Collin who looked much better from his wolf healing ability. The younger man was leaning against the window with a sad expression on his face and the guilt punched Embry in the gut like an iron javelin.

They continued to ride in silence until Embry pulled up to Collin's house at the end of the lane.

"Um…thanks for bringing me home." Collin said quietly as he unbuckled his seat belt without looking up at Embry. Collin felt so happy that Embry was the one who came to take care of him, as he remembered the touch and feel of those large and soft hands on him, rubbing soothing circles on his back, pulling his hair back out of his face as he finished his vomiting fit, brining him a tooth brush and helping him wash up. Collin was nervous as it was one of the few times that he ever was this close to Embry alone. He felt nervous, and scared and excited all at once…but the thought that Embry might have been involved in the prank made him feel insecure, reminding him that Embry thought of him as nothing. He was nothing to the man he loved.

"No problem…And um….sorry about that whole….spiked drink thing. Paul and Quil can be assholes sometimes but I'm….really sorry." Embry apologized, looking over at Collin.

"It's fine. Thanks for taking care of me back there." Collin replied with a shy laugh, thinking back on his humiliation.

"Collin, it's no problem." Embry encouraged, smiling at the younger man. When Collin looked up to Embry he was taken with him all over again. That beautiful smile, that dark tanned russet skin, those kind eyes….and then Collin realized….Embry had just called him Collin. Not kid…not little pup…but by his real name and he began to giggle to himself. Embry seeing this smirked at him and cocked his head to the side in curiosity.

"What's so funny?" Embry asked with amusement, noticing how cute Collin looked as he laughed.

"Um…you…you remembered my name." Collin answered timidly.

"Oh…um…..Why wouldn't I?" Embry asked with confusion. Collin's smile faltered at the truth behind that question as he looked to the side.

"Um…no reason really it's just…well…..we….we don't ever really get to be around to each other…and…it always just seemed like you couldn't remember my name or you didn't really know who I was." Collin spoke, embarrassment overtaking him at voicing what he felt. Embry chuckled at the statement.

"Hey, you think it's easy to tell you all apart? All you little pups start to look the same after awhile, especially since wolves are popping out of the woodwork like rabbits." Embry said laughing a little. At these words, Collin felt his heart drop and the realization that he was of no consequence or importance to Embry or anyone came back to him.

"Guess so…anyway, see you around." Collin muttered quietly, desperate to escape. He bid farewell as he quickly got out of the car. Embry turned to stare after Collin's retreating form. He sat there for a minute before he cursed to himself realizing what he had just said to Collin, understanding now that it probably made Collin feel insignificant.

"_Did I just….. hurt his feelings?"_ Embry wondered as he watched Collin walk up to his front porch. Embry got out of his truck and followed Collin up to his porch and grabbed the younger man by the arm, turning him back around.

"Collin, I didn't mean it like that, okay. That was mean of me to say." Embry confessed to Collin, who stood there with wide eyes and surprised at Embry's consoling words but he knew the older man was only feeling pity for him and nothing else. Collin sighed heavily as he looked away to blink away the onset of tears. _"God…I love him so much."_ Collin thought to himself, but how could he ever have the right to say that when the older man never even would give him the time of day. That's why Collin envied Seth so much. At least Seth actually had Jacob as a friend. All Collin had with Embry were daydreams.

"Embry, um…it's okay. I mean…I know you would never notice me anyway. It's cool." Collin said as he turned away, his eyes watering. Embry's face scrunched up in confusion.

"Notice you? What does that mean?" Embry asked in a serious tone.

"Nothing." Collin responded quickly trying to cut the subject as he tried to use his house key to unlock the door and escape inside his house. "_Collin, stop being stupid and shut up. Obviously he thinks you're nothing but a big joke"._

"Well obviously it' something if you're being a baby about it." Embry countered harshly, frustrated with Collin's attempt to disregard the whole thing. Embry wanted to know…to push and see just why Collin was so affected by him.

"I am not a baby!" Collin said as he whipped around to face Embry, his eyes watery.

"Dude, calm the fuck down okay. I'm sorry, sheesh. You pups are so hormonal." Embry replied hotly, towering menacingly over Collin making the younger man step back cautiously.

"Well fine, then just leave me alone okay, sorry I bothered you!" Collin apologized before turning back to his front door to open it but before he could push the door open fully, Embry reached around him and grabbed the door knob to pull the door back closed; locking it so Collin had no choice but to stay and talk.

"Look, why are you crying? Cause I didn't know your name, because I don't notice you?" Embry asked unbelievingly, unsure of why Collin was so upset.

"Look, thanks for dropping me off okay, but can we just leave it alone." Collin said as he turned away from Embry to try to unlock his front door again while trying to stifle the quiet tears that were making their way down his cheeks. Growing frustrated, Embry grabbed Colin by his arm and whipped him around, making the younger man's back hit the door.

"Look, what the hell is with you? I did you a favor tonight, didn't I?" Embry scoffed, trying to figure out what in the world Collin was getting so emotional over. But deep inside, Embry was afraid he already knew…..it was becoming more and more obvious. Collin however looked down to hide his tears which had begun to fall gently down his face.

"Damn it Collin, look up and answer me!" Embry shouted at him, placing both of his hands up against the door on either side of Collin's face preventing escape, however when Collin finally looked up, he saw Embry saw the younger man's tear stricken face…he faltered and an overwhelming guilt filled his chest as his face softened.

"You...um…you…never notice me. No matter how many times I say hi to you, or volunteer to run patrols with you…all I wanted was just a chance to be your friend…..I just thought, you were a really cool guy, and I looked up to you a lot….I…I like you a lot…..but I'm just another little pup…just a face in the crowd to you, so why would you ever notice me anyway." Collin explained, lowering his head again for fear of Embry's reaction.

Embry stood back a little at the revelation. He looked at Collin and he wanted to cry. If Embry was honest with himself, he knew the younger man was extremely attractive. He wanted nothing more right now than to comfort him...and touch him, because seeing Collin's youthful beauty ailed with sadness and pain was a hurtful sight. Embry's guilt was overtaking him. All the times that he knew he didn't pay attention to Collin…and to know that Collin was pining for his attention this whole time. Embry just didn't know what to say. But then Embry thought more about what Collin might have really meant by what he just confessed…..

"Collin….do you…do you like me?" Embry questioned nervously.

"Um…" Collin stuttered. "Well...uh…you see…..Embry…I didn't it mean it like that I….." Collin tried to cover up what he said but Embry just rolled his eyes and looked at Collin with a serious expression.

"Don't fucking lie to me. Just come out with it…are you gay or something?" Embry asked, already knowing the answer. A part of him always knew...and that's why he always steered clear of the boy.

"….I know you don't look at me that way, just...please don't think I'm disgusting or anything I…." Collin cried.

"So...you like me?" Embry questioned.

"Yes." Collin whispered. The younger man looked up to Embry to see frustration on his face as the older man ran a hand tiredly through his short cut hair.

"Fucking shit." Embry whispered to himself.

"Embry…look...I" Collin began but Embry cut him short quickly.

"Look I'm not gay, okay." Embry said coldly, stepping back. Collin stood there, a pang in his heart at Embry's words and behavior and he felt his eyes stinging with those damn tears again that he hated so much.

"I…I didn't….I didn't say you were I…..I'm not stupid you know. I get it okay. You're straight. I know that and that's why I never really had any hopes that we could ever be friends….. I won't bother you anymore okay. I don't even know why I told you what I think of you…I…" Collin said through his tears and Embry looked down in shame. How could he be so insensitive to Collin? Embry didn't want to have anything to with this….this homosexuality, but he couldn't…he couldn't help be reminded of his own truth….

"What _do_ you really think of me Collin? I mean...you said you liked me." Embry asked uncertainly as he looked back to Collin. Collin looked down and sighed heavily.

"I…. care about you a lot Embry….um…..more than just a lot. I…I love you….." Collin admitted. Collin stood there, anxiety overtaking him as he watched Embry pace back and forth. Embry walked back and forth, running his hand through his hair before shooting a glare at Collin. He knew he shouldn't be, but Embry couldn't help but be frustrated and angry at Collin for this.

"Shit, how come you never said anything before?" Embry spat out before. The older man didn't want to hear this…he didn't need to hear this. All these years…all this time...he tried to ignore what he felt…what he thought of Collin...he tried pushing him away. He tried ignoring him...but in his heart Embry knew what he thought of the younger man. To Embry, Colin was beautiful beyond compare, his small lithe body and delicate features aroused Embry in more ways than he could ever imagine. Even the older man's ex-girlfriend never brought him the satisfaction that he got just from thinking of taking the younger boy. But when he saw Collin from a distance, hanging out with Seth or laughing or talking with others…he grew envious cause he wanted the boy for himself. He wanted to claim him as his own, to win his heart…but Embry didn't want this. He didn't want to be gay. He didn't want to have something else that the pack could tease him for. As much as he was loved and respected by his fellow pack mates, and especially the tribe...he was still sometimes looked at as the bastard of the pack and growing up with that stigma was the worst memory Embry had as a child. Never knowing his father….Embry didn't want to add another load of baggage to make him even more of an outcast…

"How could I tell you? You ignore me anyways, besides how could I approach you when you're always with Jacob or Quil or Paul or Jared. All you guys do is walk around here like you own the damn world and everyone worships you guys. If I would have tried to talk to you, you guys would have just teased me for it." Collin cried out.

"How the fuck do you even know that?" Embry spat out angrily. He didn't mean to snap but he was so frustrated.

"Well the way you guys act, it's obvious you guys know you're god's gift to the rez or something. Just…can we just forget this? I'm sorry I even said anything okay. I…. I've been trying to just get to know you but you guys would just laugh at me." Collin explained, turning away from Embry

"Collin, will you just look at me?" Embry said seriously, trying to reign in his frustration. But then it happened…..in that single moment. As Collin looked to Embry with his wide innocent eyes…his full brown curly locks that fell just past his ears…his delicate pink lips, his light golden skin that shone like amber diamonds….his rosy cheeks and his small petite form that begged to be dominated….everything about Collin that called to Embry and aroused and awakened him shone ten times more…or was it that Embry became even more aware of it than he already had been? Embry couldn't decide but he felt gravity move from beneath his feet...he felt his world shifting…and all of a sudden there was nothing else. Everything in the world seemed black and dark, and cold and meaningless….filled with nothingness but then there was just Collin shining like the sun, forever beautiful and young and innocent and golden and filled with joy and love and….

Embry stepped back, his eyes filled with horror and he saw Collin look at him with fear as well. He knew Collin didn't know what just happened but Embry did and he couldn't believe it_. This can't be happening!_ Embry thought to himself. It was impossible. Embry knew this was impossible…but he knew what indeed just happened. He imprinted…on Collin. Another wolf…a male wolf on top of that. Embry was panicking. He couldn't understand. This went against everything they were taught, the theories of imprinting and the reason behind it….this didn't make sense…and what was worse…Embry felt that this was not wrong at all. He always wanted Collin for himself…he always cared for the boy...and it seemed like the imprint just opened the flood gates for him to see that all this time he did love Collin, just as Collin had loved him.

"Embry? What's wrong?" Collin asked nervously, breaking Embry out of his thoughts. Embry was just backing away from him after he told him how he felt and Collin began to fear the worse. He knew he shouldn't have said anything but how could he not…he had kept it a secret for so long….he didn't know it could end like this…so disastrously...he knew he shouldn't have said anything. And now he was afraid that he had lost the possibility of even becoming Embry's friend….but it was not as if he had that possibility from the start anyway.

Embry stood back from him, a look of horror and confusion and frustration displayed on his features and resonating from his eyes. He couldn't do this...he couldn't walk away from this...Collin was his everything…not just now because of the imprint…but because now he could see that he had always been….but he couldn't do this…he didn't want to be an outcast even more so…he didn't want to be ridiculed…and he didn't want Collin to suffer that either…he had to walk away now…he had to hurt Collin before he changed his mind and stayed.

"Look, I….I don't want any part of this okay. Just….just stay away from me. Just leave me alone." Embry said coldly as he turned from Collin and walked down the steps of the porch and to his car. Collin stood there as he felt his heart sinking. He watched as Embry ran into his truck and took off into the rain that had picked up into a heavy down pour. Collin fell back against the front door of the house and slid down it, feeling his world crumble. What just happened here? Why did this have to end so horribly? Collin stayed like that for awhile, his head in his hands as he cried wishing that he could take back everything he said before he lost the hope he had held on to for all these years.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE - Hope you enjoyed, thank you so much for reading ^_^


	5. Confession

AUTHOR'S NOTE

This is the second part of the update and since this chapter is being posted with chapter four, there is no need for the usual long nonsensical drabble called an "author's note" hahaha. Please enjoy this chapter and as always, if you have any thoughts, opinions, advice or critiques about my writing, please share it with me. Again, thank you so much. Enjoy.

* * *

CHAPTER 5

The heavy rains from the previous night had continued until early morning. Amidst the rain storm, sloshing through the torrential downpour was Leah Clearwater…like the lone wolf she was. Last night, after helping her mother prepare a dinner for Charlie Swan, she suffered through the small talk and fake smiles she offered during the meal…a meal that she would have rather not be a part of but stayed only at her mother's consistent nagging.

For the past three years, since Sam had left her for her cousin Emily, Leah had made it a point never to spend too much time around her pack or her people. It was hard enough having to be obligated to remain on the rez not to mention having Sam and Emily's love affair shoved in her face. Leah never quite understood why, but it was as if everyone loved rubbing it in. Sam and Emily shamelessly flaunted their affection directly in front of her, her pack always taunted her for her feelings and told her to get a life and move on even when she had repeatedly told them she already had, and her mother always pushed her to spend more time with Sam and Emily and stay around their house to help out as much as she could. That was like the knife in the back because Leah felt her mother was purposely trying to force Leah to bear witness to the betrayal over and over again and Sam and Emily seemed to not care at all. Sam always trying to avoid eye contact with Leah and Emily always trying to rekindle their broken friendship. All Leah wanted was to be left alone. Was that too much to ask for? So she made it her goal to stay busy as an n excuse not to be around. She got a job in Forks as a waitress at a small bar and she was a full time student at the University of Washington's online degree program, spending her time off mostly at the library. However, many times that didn't stop her mother Sue from confronting her about neglecting the pack and her duties whenever she got the chance even though Leah still ran her scheduled patrols so she didn't understand what her mother was complaining about.

During dinner last night, the subject of Sam and Emily's wedding came up all of the sudden and Leah sat there hurt and angry as Sue began gushing to Charlie about how exciting it would be and how the wedding plans were going. Leah hated how Sue always showed favor toward Emily over her own daughter, but she knew Emily was always Sue's ideal type of daughter so she tried her best to ignore it. What set her off was when Sue accused her of purposely ditching the gown fitting appointment with Emily, Rachel, Rebecca and Kim, and telling her she needed to go apologize to Sam and Emily. However, much to her mother's surprise, Leah indeed got up quietly from her place at the table and headed out without so much as a word. She walked all night long down at the beach by herself. However, to Leah's surprise she had indeed walked all night even amongst the heavy rain. It was now seven in the morning and now that her mind was cleared she thought she would follow her mother's advise and head over to Sam and Emily's just as she was told. But she had much more than apologies to express as she sloshed determinedly through the rain.

Walking up to Sam's house, the painful memories of the past came crashing back to her. How this house…was supposed to be their house. Sam had been willed the house after the previous owner, one of the oldest tribal elders passed way. At that time, Sam and Leah were still together and secretly engaged. Sam promised that they would live out their lives in that house…having children, raising their family. Of course they were young and wanted to keep it a secret knowing Leah's parents wouldn't approve of her getting married so young but they planned to get married in secret and then Leah would move in with Sam….but before Leah knew it, she was out and Emily was in, fully moved into the house Leah was meant to have. Loving the husband, Leah was meant to love. Leah bit back the tears and swallowed hard as she walked up the steps and knocked on the door. She listened carefully as she heard some rustling from inside and heard the door open to reveal her cousin Emily…the source of her pain.

"Leah?" Emily said with surprise and happiness at seeing her beloved cousin. Her dark raven hair of silk perfectly curtaining her heart shaped face and slim figure, falling to her mid back. Leah cringed back. Even though marred by the three claw marks that ran across the side of her face, Emily's beauty still shone through but Leah never understood what disturbed her more…the fact that Emily's beauty overcame her scars, or the fact that Emily's beauty and kind smile never hid the betrayal she committed against Leah.

"Emily." Leah simply stated in a neutral tone. Emily's eyes widened with warmth.

"Oh I'm sorry Leah. Come on in." Emily apologized, stepping out of the way so Leah could enter the cabin house. Emily tried to take Leah by the shoulders to lead her in but Leah shrugged the other woman's touch off.

"My God, Leah. You're drenched to the bone. Did you walk here?" Emily asked with concern as she looked Leah up and down.

"Yeah." Leah answered, nodding curtly as she ran her hand through her short raven black hair that fell just past her ears in a short bob cut.

"How about I put some hot tea on." Emily said trying to break the awkward silence but Leah shook her head slowly as she stared blankly at her cousin.

"Don't bother. I won't be here long. My mother just asked me to come by." Leah said, cutting Emily off. Emily blinked a few times at Leah's response, caught off guard at Leah's shielded behavior.

"Oh! Did she? Oh! That's right, we have your dress. Did you want to try it on? It's really pretty and I think I guessed your right size." Emily explained excitedly as she he was about to walk back to her bedroom to get it.

"Emily I don't want to try on any dresses; I just came to ask you one question. Why?" Leah asked. Emily stopped short and turned back around, looking at Leah with uncertainty.

"Why? What do you mean? What are you talking about?" Emily asked back, confused with a small smile playing on her face. Leah rolled her eyes, but continued on.

"You know what I'm talking about. Why this? Why all of this? After everything you took from me, why must you go the extra mile to try and hurt me? It's not enough that you took Sam from me, now you want me to watch as you marry him! How could you do this to me?" Leah asked desperately. Emily sighed heavily, looking to the side with frustration and defeat written across her marred beautiful face.

"Leah, please." Emily began walking away from Leah, to the kitchen but Leah continued to follow her.

"How could you take away something that meant the world to me?" Leah asked following Emily, cornering the woman.

"Look, do we have to talk about this now? I thought you were going to help me plan the wedding, something you promised a long time ago. We both said that if we ever got married we would help the other with their wedding and be their maid of honor." Emily reminded Leah. Leah scoffed with disbelief at what she was hearing.

"Are you kidding me? I think that so called promise you're referring to becomes invalid when it's at the expense of someone else's happiness." Leah countered.

"What would you have me do Leah? I've tried everything humanly possible to make this right, but in your eyes I'm always going to be the bad guy here. I love you Leah, you're my best friend and my family, but Sam imprinted on me, his inner wolf chose me! What was I supposed to do, just walk away from him?" Emily asked with frustration.

"Yes! Because he belonged to me, He loved me! But no, you didn't care. Instead of letting him fuck you in my own bed, you could have just come straight to me! It would have been better if you had just told me to my face what was going on, rather than sneak behind my back and lie to me." Leah explained. Emily just shook her head, turning away from Leah.

"Leah that's not fair. You can't just blame me for everything. Did you really think I had planned any of this? Besides, I'm not the only one guilty here. If I remember correctly, Sam is the one that left you." Emily clarified, turning an accusatory glare to Leah. Leah felt her blood boil at the truthful reminder.

"Yes, because you had taken his heart from me." Leah answered hotly. Both women stared intently at one another with frustration, trying to make the other see their side of the story.

"Leah, listen to yourself. This is ridiculous. He's the one that fell in love with me. And how could I take something that was never yours to begin with?" Emily asked blatantly, folding her arms across her chest. Leah sighed heavily, angered that Emily would phrase it that way.

"What are you talking about? Do you even hear yourself? Sam and I loved each other more than anything. We were….." Leah began, but Emily quickly stopped her.

"You were what? Boyfriend and girlfriend? That's all you were though. You weren't truly soul mates like Sam and I are." Emily pointed out. Leah snapped at this.

"How dare you! We wanted to spend the rest of our lives together!" Leah stated angrily.

"Leah…you're not being fair about this." Emily said.

"You presume to tell me what is fair?" Leah asked a look of utter disbelief clear on her face.

"You're acting like Sam and I did this to you on purpose. How many times do I have to tell you? It just happened and I'm sorry but no matter what, I'm still your cousin and we're still family." Emily reminded Leah.

"Are we? Because last time I checked, family doesn't betray one another!" Leah snapped.

"Leah this isn't about you! He just wasn't happy with you, okay. He wanted something else. He needed something else. Something you could never give him." Emily said, realizing too late what she had just implied as Leah's eyes began to water with tears. The unavoidable truth that she wasn't imprinted on because she wasn't woman enough…because of her inability to become pregnant. Leah turned on her heels and headed straight for the door, wiping furiously at her cheeks as to not let her cousin see them. Emily however ran after her.

"Oh my god Leah…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to say it like that." Emily called out, following Leah to the door.

"Leah, wait please. I didn't mean that." Emily pleaded grabbing Leah by the arm, but Leah; the stronger of the two easily snatched out of Emily's grasp. Leah stood there, looking out through the door she opened at the rain pouring down and she laughed bitterly to herself. She turned to Emily with an ice cold stare.

"Actually, you did Emily. I knew. A part of me had always known. Even on that day, when you two first met. Even back when Sam and I were together, I knew you were jealous of me and that you wanted him for yourself. I saw it. I saw the way you both looked at one another. And I also knew how happy you were when you found out he imprinted on you. Even after the incident when he attacked you, you were so happy that he told you two were meant to be together. You don't think I know that? I was even there at the hospital when he proposed to you. "Leah confessed.

"Leah please just stop this!" Emily began crying, feeling as though Leah was blaming her for what she knew to be the truth. Emily knew in her heart ever since Leah introduced her and Sam on that day, Emily felt something for the gorgeous built man. Ever since, she wanted him for herself but she never thought such a thing as the phenomenon of imprinting would ever occur, least of all to her…but this was not how she planned it. She didn't wish this to happen.

"What's going on in here?" Sam demanded in a heavy set tone as he walked into the room. Both women froze and looked up to notice Sam who had come in from the rain outside. He had just finished with his patrol shift and entered the house through the back door and heard them talking. He was in full form, muscled and dark tanned russet skin, his black short cropped hair sticking to the sides of his face from the water that was drenched over his whole body, making his chest and skin glisten as if it was covered in sweat. Leah who took notice of Sam's beauty shamefully looked away not wanting to feel the stab of rejection all over again.

"Emily, honey what's wrong?" Sam said walking over to her as he saw her crying.

"Oh Sam!" Emily sobbed as she ran into Sam's arms, who pulled her into his warm chest and held her close.

"Emily, baby what is it? What happened? Why are you crying?" Sam asked. Emily clung onto Sam as she looked accusingly at Leah.

"It's nothing. Leah and I were just talking and…." Emily began but broke into another fit of sobs again.

"Leah? What…why are you here?" Sam asked accusingly, staring at her with a hard glare. Leah looked away, not wanting to see the coldness in the eyes of the man she still loved.

"I was just leaving." Leah turned on her heels ready to leave but Emily stopped crying long enough to call out to her.

"Leah, please what about your dress?" Emily whimpered through her tears. Leah turned back to Emily with disgust.

"If you think for one second that I'm going to stand there and support this then you're dead wrong." Leah snapped. Emily cried harder at Leah's words.

"Leah, but…we….we promised each other. We always said that we would be each other's bridesmaids." Emily begged.

"I can think of a hell of a lot more promises that were destroyed." Leah countered looking to Sam who jumped in front of Emily protectively and shot Leah a cold stare.

"God damn it Leah! Stop this! Don't talk to Emily that way!" Sam shouted angrily. Leah stepped back cautiously, her eyes watering at how Sam was speaking to her…how he always treated her ever since he left her. As if she was nothing, no one…just another one of the guys. Watching this, Emily tried to comfort Sam by coming to stand next to him and pull him back.

"Sam, please stop. Don't be mad at her." Emily asked. Sam looked down at his Emily and his face softened to regret as he nodded and he looked back to Leah apologetically.

"Leah, look I'm…..I'm…. sorry, okay. But why do you always have to do this? Huh? Aren't we all hurting enough as it is? Isn't there enough drama as it is?" Sam demanded an answer. Leah scoffed at him, her tears falling now.

"Sam! I can't believe you. How could you…." Leah asked sincerely.

"Leah, I'm sorry, okay. Can't…..can't you see it hurts me to see you like this? And it hurts Emily that you guys aren't even talking anymore but can't you be the least bit happy for us? For me?" Sam asked cutting Leah short. Emily nodded her agreement with Sam's words as he looked pleadingly to Leah.

"Will you please just come to the wedding? We really want you to be there." Emily begged.

"You expect me to watch the man I love marry the woman that was supposed to be my best friend? How can I watch the two of you take away everything I had ever treasured?" Leah spoke before she stormed out into the pouring rain. At this Emily covered her face with her hands to cry softly, Sam rushing to the door to watch Leah run off into the darkness.

"Leah! Wait!" Sam called out to her, knowing his voice was falling on deaf ears. He gritted his teeth, feeling the guilt rise like bile in the back of his throat. As he looked on, he felt so bad and worthless for what he had done to Leah…..the first and only woman he had ever truly loved until Emily.

"Please forgive me." Sam whispered to himself.

* * *

Later that day when the rain had finally ceased, Seth had woken up late from staying up last night because of the emotional high he experienced that wouldn't let him rest. He giggled to himself as he remembered how Jacob held him and when he looked at the clock, he saw it was almost just before noon and he should hurry up and head over to Jacob's house.

Seth walked on the side of the rain soaked road, a happy bounce in his step as he hummed the melody of his favorite song which he had listened to on repeat last night after Jacob brought him home. Seth knew yesterday had been a rough day with walking in on Jacob and Bella together and then being teased by the pack but walking with Jacob last night, feeling the older man protect and love him, holding him…Seth could still feel the butterflies inside. His heart was all aflutter and he knew he shouldn't be this happy but he couldn't help it. This is what Jacob's love did to him and Seth was bombarded with all the possibilities.

"_I know I shouldn't hope this much but Jacob looked so sincere last night...maybe he can't love me…but maybe he can understand how I feel."_ Seth thought to himself.

It gave him a small semblance of hope to hold onto, remembering just how caring Jacob's words were.

"_Seth, you know you can tell me anything."_ Jacob's words played over and over in his head.

Seth laughed to himself as he remembered last night, imagining a scenario in which he confessed to Jacob and Jacob admitted that he had feelings for him too. Seth knew that outcome was sure not to come to fruition, but even in his heart of hearts he felt there was some truth to what Collin had once said to him before.

"_I may be young but I'm not stupid. I know what love looks like and it's in his face, it's in his eyes whenever he looks at you." Collin said_.

Seth doubted it was real love, or at least the way he loved Jacob, but Seth wondered maybe…just maybe if Jacob cared so much about him, hopefully he would at least understand his feelings and want to stay friends anyway. On the other hand Seth knew just being friends would be painful when he loved Jacob as much as he did but it was better than not having Jacob in his life at all.

He came up to the rusted red house at the end of the street and saw a couple of cars parked outside beside Jacob's and Seth felt a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. The pack was here, or at least some of them. Seth sighed heavily. He didn't know how on earth he was going to get Jacob alone long enough to tell him what he wanted to with the pack being here. Seth's courage faltered but then he remembered how Jacob looked at him last night and how the older man held him so lovingly...it gave him strength and hope and made him feel that just maybe it was possible.

"Came this far. Can't turn back now." Seth spoke to himself as he made his way around the back of the house to Jacob's garage.

As he approached the good sized makeshift shack that was Jacob's garage, he heard blaring music and laughing and the sounds of tools being thrown. Seth giggled, just imagining what lied on the other side of the door before he knocked and let himself in. Everyone stopped when they saw Seth shuffle in timidly, before resuming their fun. Jared was currently using two crowbars to beat on a tire to the rhythm of the blaring rock music blasting from Jacob's truck stereo. Paul was head banging as he wolfed down leftover pizza from the nearby box of pizza on the table. Quil was currently helping Jacob, the two of them hunched over the open hood of another rusted car as they argued about what part went where and Embry was on the other side of the garage trying to touchup the paint on another car they had just finished repairing. Seth smiled warmly looking around at the familiar large garage with its dim lighting, scattered tools everywhere and greased and dirty floors but all in all this place always felt like home to Seth, recalling the many times he and Jacob had spent in here just hanging out or attempting to fix something, however for the past couple of years Jacob and the pack turned this side hobby into a more profitable endeavor. They made a habit of buying broken down cars and patching them up like new to sell at a profitable cost.

When Embry saw Seth had walked in, he abandoned his work for a second to wave at Seth, giving the younger man a warm smile.

"Hey man, what's up?" Embry greeted with his charming crooked smile. Seth smiled back and waved.

"Oh not much." Seth responded but he could see that Embry seemed a bit distant today. He would try his best to find out why if he had the time which reminded Seth that after his time with Jacob, he really needed to call Collin. Seth was sure Collin had something exciting to tell him about his time with Embry last night.

"Hey, Jake, your boyfriend is finally here." Quil said sarcastically, nudging Jacob. Jacob just rolled his eyes as he pushed Quil back.

"Shut up." Jacob said laughing a little as he made his way over to Seth. His Seth.

Seth took in the sight of his best friend, awing at his mere beauty. Jacob was currently shirtless, sporting only a pair of loose fitting worn blue jeans that were spotted with black grease stains. His usually raven black spiked hair appeared somewhat wet, apparently from the sweating in the too warm garage and his think muscled tanned chest was beaded with droplets of sweat, as well as his large biceps which seemed to flex and stretch with each movement he made. Seth felt his stomach flip and flop upside down at the sheer beauty of the man he had fallen in love with.

"Hey Jake…what's up?" Seth greeted shyly, waving a little as he walked to Jacob.

"Hey Seth, keep me company okay. These assholes have been giving me a headache all day." Jacob said with a chuckle as he pulled Seth into a tight embrace.

"My god, can you guys give the bromance a rest for just one day? I'm trying to eat here." Paul muttered as if he was sick.

"Are you trying to give me a reason to kick your ass today?" Jacob asked with a confident laugh.

"Are you threatening me you little pussy?" Paul challenged, jumping up from his chair and approaching Jacob.

"You guys, cool it for once. Go back to your corners." Embry scolded, pushing them apart as Jared pulled Paul back to his chair and Quil pulled Jacob back.

"Idiots." Embry sighed tiredly.

"So Seth, how's Leah doing?" Embry asked.

"Um…she's fine. Doing the best she can I guess." Seth replied.

"I'll bet." Paul muttered, causing Quil and Jared to start laughing.

"Is she still…you know…upset about the whole bride's maid thing?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah….she is…but….I just wish that she didn't have to participate at all. It's hard for her when she has to constantly be reminded of what's going on." Seth answered as he looked down sadly, thinking of his sister's plight.

"Well, Sam did imprint on Emily, what's he supposed to do? Ignore the imprint? And, Sam and Emily did apologize to her." Paul stated rudely.

"Yeah, Emily was even kind enough to ask Leah to be her bridesmaid." Quil added.

"Really though, Leah should just stop bitching and get over it. Besides, the tribal council is supportive of their engagement. For god's sake, you can't ignore an imprint." Paul finished, wolfing down another slice of pizza from the box.

"I understand the concept of the imprint. But...it just doesn't seem fair." Seth said, shaking his head.

"What Seth is trying to say is that it's not that simple to get over." Embry added, trying to show his support for Seth….but knowing all too well what the weight of imprint meant, thinking back on his current situation with Collin from last night.

"So you think Sam and Emily are wrong? Are you trying to say all imprints for that matter are wrong?" Paul shouted at Seth.

"Paul, watch it." Jacob warned with a growl.

"No…I'm not accusing anyone of being wrong, it's just…..well, how would you feel if it was someone you loved that left you?" Seth asked. He couldn't for the life of him fathom where he gained the courage to talk back to Paul like that. He usually knew better than to do that.

"So now you're siding with her?" Jared asked mockingly.

"Well she is my sister and I understand how she feels. Jake what do you think?" Seth asked, turning to his friend.

"Leah's just being a bitch and she needs to stop fucking with Sam and Emily and just leave them alone." Paul replied. Seth lowered his head in defeat, but seeing the sadness in Seth's eyes, Jacob put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Seth, I mean….I understand how Leah feels, but...Sam did imprint on her. It's not fair, but how can we question that?" Jacob answered, remaining neutral to the argument of imprint versus love, causing Paul, Jared and Quil to agree.

"See! We told you so, tell your sister to get a life!" Quil laughed high fiving Jared. Jacob didn't want to go through what happened last night again. Before the pack came over, he warned them to lay off Seth, so he took this opportunity to break away with Seth for a few minutes.

"Come on, I need a drink." Jacob muttered in Seth's ear, taking the younger man by the hand and leading him out of the garage.

"Hey bring us something back." Jared yelled at Jacob and Seth's retreating backs. Quil and Embry barked their approval of this, causing Jacob to roll his eyes.

"Fine. Don't break anything while I'm gone." Jacob shouted back with annoyance.

Watching Jacob and Seth leave, Paul, Jared, Quil and Embry all exchanged glances. The former three all smirking knowingly.

"Man, they're always going off together. Who knows, maybe those two will get married next." Jared said.

"I wouldn't be surprised. Seth has always been such a queer." Quil muttered, taking a slice from the pizza box.

"Guys, leave Seth alone." Embry said, trying to change the subject, remembering just what happened between him and Collin and hoping that it wouldn't get out that he had imprinted on the younger man.

* * *

Jacob and Seth made their way into the house and headed to the kitchen where Jacob reached into the refrigerator to pull out a bottle of beer. Looking over at Seth, he could still see the pain etched in the younger man's face and remembered how the pack hurt him last night. A part of Jacob still wanted to kick their asses but they were his friends so he hoped they had learned their lesson and would not mess with Seth anymore…but Jacob didn't want Seth to feel scared to be around them…around him.

"Hey buddy, don't listen to them. They're just kidding around, you know them. They've always been assholes." Jacob assured Seth, nudging the younger man's shoulder a bit.

"It's um...it's alright." Seth said with a weak smile.

"Hey, you okay?" Jacob asked, his brows furrowing in worry.

"Yeah, of course." Seth answered. Seth couldn't understand why…but all of a sudden…seeing the pack again and remembering the events of the previous night…Seth was having second thoughts about all this. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. But he knew he came too far. He had remained silent too long. It was time to do what he should have been done a long time ago.

"Seth, you know you're my best friend in the whole world don't you?" Jacob asked cutely, smiling sweetly at Seth who smiled back, his nervousness settling in at Jacob's kindness.

"Thanks Jake." Seth giggled.

"I'm serious, you are." Jacob affirmed, wrapping his arms around Seth and pulling the younger man into his chest.

"Really?" Seth questioned, taking into account the wolf pack, most of whom Jacob was close to.

"Well we've known each other forever. And besides, you're the only one I can really…be real with, you know." Jacob confessed looking at Seth seriously.

"Um…hey…Jake…" Seth asked.

"Yeah."

"Do you think…we can….well…..you know…get out of here for a bit." Seth asked hopefully. Jacob looked off for a moment with confusion, then broke out into a smile.

"Sure…what did you have in mind?" Jacob wondered, as he let go of Seth to grab his beer bottle and take a long swig of it. Seth scratched his head shyly, trying to think where they could go.

"Well….just down to the beach maybe?" Seth answered.

"Sure sure. Though, we probably shouldn't be too long. I don't want Quil in my garage too long. You know how disastrous he gets when left alone with the power tools." Jacob said with a chuckle, making Seth laugh as well.

"Okay." Seth said, pushing up from the counter on which he was leaning on.

"Come on buddy." Jacob said with a serious and kind tone as he offered his large hand to Seth, who placed his slightly smaller one into Jacob's hand. Jacob lead Seth out of the house and they made their way to Jacob's truck. Once inside, Jacob turned the radio on low as Seth sat on the passenger side quietly, enjoying the comfortable silence between the both of them. They made it down to La Push beach in a matter of minutes where Jacob parked his truck where the sand met the forest. Getting out, Jacob made his way to the back of the truck to look for a jacket to wear while Seth stood there waiting. Finding an old hoodie, Jacob threw it on and looked over to catch Seth staring at him. Jacob smirked at Seth, who couldn't stop himself from taking in Jacob's masculine beauty.

"What are you looking at?" Jacob asked with a predatory gaze as he approached Seth. Seth's mouth began to water at how delicious and dangerous Jacob looked as the older man took Seth by the waist and pulled him into his chest.

"Um…n...nothing I...I was just..." Seth stuttered but Jacob cut him off.

"I caught you looking at my goods, so you like what you see?" Jacob asked cocking his eyebrow and smirking at Seth.

"Jacob!" Seth whined, feeling cornered and embarrassed. "I was not you weirdo." Seth answered, making Jacob.

"Aww, come on Seth. You don't have to be so shy." Jacob replied, pulling Seth closer so that their bodies were pressed firmly together in the cool summer air of the beach. "Come on; let's go down to the water." Jacob said taking Seth's hand. They began walking in silence down to the waters and Seth couldn't help but notice the feeling of rightness that overcame him whenever it was just the two of them like this.

"So...how you been holding up Seth? I mean...you know…with everything." Jacob asked as they walked along the sand.

"Me? Oh…um…I'm okay I guess. Just the same old I suppose. Taking care of mom and Leah…or at least trying to." Seth replied with uncertainty.

"It's hard isn't it?" Jacob asked, looking over to study Seth's solemn face.

"Yeah." Seth replied. And for just a moment…Seth couldn't help but think of his father.

"I'm sorry Seth." Jacob said with a heavy sigh as he saw the look on Seth's face and knew what Seth was thinking of.

"Jacob, don't apologize. It's okay…it's just….I don't know. I must be crazy cause I know it's been four years but still…..sometimes I swear it feels like he's going to come back home, you know. I keep half expecting him to walk back through the front door as if he just got off of work." Seth said with a faraway look on his face. Jacob brought them to a stop as they made it to the beach shores, seeing the morning sun covered by the depressing gray clouds.

"How is…your mom?" Jacob inquired with sincerity. Seth sadly smiled to himself.

"You know mom. She tries putting on this happy facade as though everything's alright. But it's hard to ignore the sobbing at three in the morning. It wouldn't be so hard for me to comfort and be there for her if I didn't feel like she was betraying Leah. I mean…..we're still getting over dad, and Leah is still hurting over Sam, and mom has the nerve to help Emily plan her wedding. It's just….not right. It's not fair." Seth explained.

"Well, you know….this is Sue's way of dealing with it, by busying herself with other things. And you know your mom thinks of Emily as her own daughter." Jacob reasoned.

"That's the problem, she's been so supportive of Emily and Sam; she's forgotten about her own kids. Everyone has…it's just…hard to see my sister like this."Seth responded.

"You know….a kid your age shouldn't have to carry the weight of a whole household." Jacob assured Seth, taking the younger man's hand back in his own and rubbing the pad of his thumb across the top of Seth's hand in a comforting way. Seth looked at their hands and looked up to Jacob to smile at the older man.

"I'm alright. After all, I have no choice. I am the man of the house now, right?" Seth said, trying to sound positive. Jacob noticed a deep hurt and pain in Seth's eyes…the same one he had noticed ever since his return home from college. And he knew it was the same thing that Seth was keeping from him. Jacob pulled Seth intimately closer.

"Seth, I'm starting to get the feeling you didn't drag me out here just to talk about your family, trying to get us some alone time, huh?" Jacob said with a smirk, wagging his eyebrows trying to lighten up the mood and atmosphere.

"Well…I kind of…wanted to talk but…I…." Seth stuttered, not knowing where to begin. This was just too hard….

"Hey, I'm all ears. You can talk to me, you know that." Jacob assured Seth, wanting Seth to be honest with him.

"This…it's so hard…it's….it's really hard." Seth said, his face growing solemn. Jacob grew worried, tightening his hold onto Seth and using one hand to life Seth's chin up to meet his eyes.

"Seth, don't feel like you can't talk to me. Please, tell me what's wrong?" Jacob asked, begged sadly. Seth looked into Jacob's deep dark eyes and breathed in and out slowly. Jacob looked so sincere and caring right now…Seth thought maybe…just maybe he could understand. Seth just prayed to God that Jacob would not hate him. Seth took a step back and removed himself from Jacob's arms. He needed to be separated from Jacob before he did this. Jacob looked at Seth with confusion. The older man walked closer to Seth with his arms outstretched, ready to take Seth back in his arms but Seth backed away again, putting his arms up.

"Jacob…please…first….I…I need to tell you something and…just promise me…you won't hate me, okay?" Seth asked his eyes watery as he began to imagine the outcome that this could bring, but it was now or never. Jacob looked at Seth with a hurt expression, wondering how Seth could think that.

"Seth, I could never hate you. Nobody could. Even if you kicked me in my nuts, I still couldn't hate you. I probably would be pissed as hell, but not hate you." Jacob said with a light chuckle trying to lighten the mood, stepping closer to Seth but Seth merely backed away again. He needed to give himself some distance in case Jacob took this badly.

"Seth, don't be afraid of me. Just talk to me, please." Jacob pleaded.

"Um…okay….." Seth began.

"So….." Jacob went on, encouraging Seth to begin.

"Jacob…we've been friends for….a long time right?" Seth questioned.

"Um….Yeah." Jacob replied, chuckling at Seth's procrastination.

"And…we're pretty close right?" Seth asked, his heart rate accelerating.

"Of course we are." Jacob said with a warm smile.

"You're making this harder for me." Seth said, hanging his head low.

"Seth, spit out. You know me; I care for you so just talk to me here. You can tell me anything." Jacob encouraged which only made the knot in Seth's stomach turn even tighter.

"_It's now or never…..please God...please help me."_

"Jacob, I…I just…I've been keeping something from you forever…ever since we've known each other…I've kept this from you…but I can't any longer. I have to tell you…I'm….." Seth spoke, fumbling over each word. Jacob looked at Seth expectantly as Seth closed his eyes. Seeing Seth like this, Jacob wanted so badly to rush over and comfort his Seth.

"I love you Jacob." Seth confessed in almost a whisper. But what Seth heard next he didn't expect at all. Jacob began chuckling and Seth opened his eyes as he saw the older man smiling at him with amusement.

"Well, of course you do Seth. I love you too. We're best friends for life." Jacob said with a smile, coming up to wrap Seth in a hug. Seth's heart sank as he realized how Jacob took that…and a part of him knew that this was wrong…this would not end well.

"No…not like that…I mean…." Seth stuttered, butterflies creeping through his stomach.

"I'm…in love with you." Seth said in a low and timid voice.

"What do you mean?" Jacob asked with a confused chuckle.

"Like…..I love you…more than a friend." Seth clarified uncertainty and fear burning in his eyes. Seth couldn't quite understand it or describe it if he was asked, but he felt a low drop in his gut like he was falling fast and as he looked up into Jacob's face. Seth saw confusion and weariness creep into the other man's face. Jacob dropped his hands from around Seth almost immediately and began backing away. Seth feared what would come next…he didn't want to lose Jacob…not like this. Jacob continued to stare at Seth with confusion and suspicion.

"Jake…" Seth began trying to walk closer to Jacob, but this time it was Jacob who was backing away from him. Jacob looked away from Seth out toward the cloudy sky above the beach waters. Jacob didn't know what to think…or feel. He was confused for one….and all of a sudden he felt anger. It seemed as if every whisper, rumor and remark about Seth's questionable sexuality that he heard from the pack had flooded into his ears and he remembered all the times when he defended Seth because he loved the younger man….but he never wanted this, he never wanted Seth to be a freak…to be gay…he never really believed that Seth was capable of that. Jacob always viewed Seth as innocent, and untouched and that's why Jacob protected him so much...because Seth was his and he wanted to keep the boy uncorrupted and happy and bright and…..Jacob knew in his darkest desires he should be happy to know Seth saw him this way but he couldn't accept it. It was too much. He had been trying and fighting for years to cover up his dark desires and here Seth was trying to make him give into them. All the times they had touched…held one another…slept beside each other….talked together…..Jacob cherished all those moments, but how did Seth take them? Did he misinterpret Jacob's love for gay love? Was Seth lusting after him…and looking at him like some kind of fagget?

"You mean, you're….you're really gay?" Jacob asked coldly as he turned back to Seth. Seth saw such pain and anger in Jacob's eyes and he wanted to touch Jacob…to comfort him but he felt like they were miles apart…even though they were standing right in front of each other.

"Jacob….please don't be mad…." Seth begged.

"Answer me Seth. Are you a fag?" Jacob practically yelled suddenly, causing Seth to flinch as he noticed Jacob's body trembling with anger and Seth feared Jacob would phase any moment.

"Well….yes...I'm in love with you if that's what you mean but…" Seth tried to explain but Jacob cut him off.

"So, for how long?" Jacob asked Seth, with a dark and robotic tone. Seth looked down with confusion and looked back up to Jacob with pleading eyes.

"How long? What do you mean?" Seth asked shyly.

"How fucking long have you been a queer?" Jacob yelled in disgust. Jacob couldn't understand this, how could Seth keep something like this a secret away from. How could Seth be gay…they spent time together, they touched each other, held each other…comforted each other. In the back of Jacob' mind he always enjoyed pretending for a second that Seth was his but when he thought of how disgusting and wrong he was for that….he couldn't be a fag…he just couldn't be. Jacob had struggled to maintain that wall between them…and now Seth was telling the older man this, it was destroying everything Jacob had reserved in his mind….and he began hearing the whispers in his head that he used to hear as a kid growing up….how homosexuality was wrong, how the pack thought Seth was a queer….how Bella accused Jacob of not getting aroused enough with her….this was all because of the one problem he had struggled with all his life…a problem that was his best friend….Seth.

"Jake..please…I….I thought you said you wouldn't hate me." Seth reminded, as tears began falling from his eyes.

"Damn it, Seth. Stop crying like a baby and just answer the fucking question!" Jacob spat angrily.

"I…..I've loved you…um…since….since we were kids." Seth admitted. Seth wrapped his arms around himself, feeling his body shake with sobs at Jacob's anger, a side of the older man Seth was not accustomed to having directed at him. He was horrified to see the transformation of the Jacob he knew and loved into hatred and anger. Seth couldn't take this…..not from Jacob…the one who meant more than anything to him in the whole world. Before Seth could say or do anything more, Jacob looked him up and down coldly as if he was disgusted with what he saw.

"I can't deal with this shit right now." Jacob said as walked past Seth, pushing his shoulder roughly past Seth. Seth began to panic. This wasn't what he wanted. He couldn't let it end this way.

"Jacob….wait…I'm sorry…." Seth apologized, running after Jacob and grabbing at Jacob's hand to slow the older man down but Jacob snatched his hand cruelly away as if Seth was something unsightly.

"Don't fucking touch me you fag! It's your fucking fault! You did this to me!" Jacob screamed angrily as he pushed at Seth violently, causing the younger man to fall back to the ground. Seth lay there on the ground, feeling broken beyond repair but he still gathered his courage and strength as he crawled back up with trembling legs and watery eyes.

"Did what? What…what do you mean?" Seth asked with confusion, unable to stop the tears from flowing. Seth watched as Jacob's face scrunched up with frustration at Seth's lack of understanding.

"You know exactly what I mean! FUCK! Just never mind! Just get the fuck out my way!" Jacob began to walk away again.

"J..Jacob..please..just hear me out….." Seth tried to reason but Jacob cut him off, turning back to the younger man with a disgust and hatred in his yes the likes of which Seth had never seen in his friend.

"How the hell can you be this fucking selfish? Huh? You know how much Bella means to me!" Jacob shouted angrily, wanting to know why Seth would do this to him. Jacob couldn't understand this. Why would Seth choose to be gay? Why would he chose wrong and try to drag the older man into it as well. But most importantly, Jacob wondered how Seth could have no consideration for his feelings for Bella. Jacob had shared with Seth how he felt for Bella so many times before…did Seth really not care at all about what he felt and what he wanted?

"I didn't mean to upset you Jacob, I…." Seth couldn't speak clearly, choking on his own sobs but before he could say anymore Jacob grabbed Seth roughly by the collar of his shirt and pulled him close to his face threateningly with a deadly stare.

"Let me tell you something right now! You're not going to fuck up my life, do you understand me? I'm going to imprint on her and you won't get in my way, do you understand me! You're not going to ruin my chances with Bella do you hear ME!" Jacob warned, speaking coldly in Seth's face as he held him by the collar of his shirt.

"Jacob…I would never try anything with you. I swear. I never asked you for anything or expected anything from you. I just wanted to tell you the truth…I'm sorry." Seth apologized sadly, sniffling and gasping as he tried to get a reign on his emotions. Jacob merely just pushed the younger man away as if he was nothing.

"You think sorry covers it? What about all the time we've spent together or when we slept over each other's house or when we hugged or….Did all that mean something more to you than just friendship?" Jacob asked with rage.

"I was in love with you, but I never looked at it as more. I never expected more. Jacob you know I would never cross that line with you. Tell me, have I once ever betrayed your trust? I know you're straight Jacob….I just…I just wanted to tell you….You always said we could tell each other anything." Seth explained through his sniffling and tears.

"Well I didn't fucking ask you tell me this much, okay. What am I supposed to do? I just found out my best friend has been violating me…fucking lusting after me when you know I love Bella." Jacob yelled back in anger.

"Violating you? Jacob…I swear…I never would do that! Even if we phased…I would never look. I always turned away." Seth begged Jacob to believe him but Jacob just scoffed disbelievingly. Jacob knew there were many times when the pack had teased Seth and himself about looking at each other before they phased and Jacob always ignored them…but now it seemed even more believable. Had Seth really looked at him so much when he was naked?

"You liar! I caught you looking at me more than once when we would phase. The others did to! Fuck, I should have known. They always told me to watch myself around you, but I always stood up for you because you were my best friend." Jacob snapped.

"What do you mean…..were? Please Jacob…don't let this ruin our friendship! Look…I…I know not many people would want to be friends with someone like me but…..we've known each other so long, you're my best friend Jacob. If you could just…learn to accept me for who I am then…." Seth tried to explain but Jacob cut him off.

"Are you fucking kidding me with this? Don't you dare try to feed me that gay acceptance bullshit!" Jacob laughed cruelly, looking Seth up and down as if he were nothing more than filth.

"Please Jacob…I'm sorry…I just…I didn't think you would be so mad…I'm sorry I told you." Seth cried, keeping his head down to the ground.

"How the fuck did you think I was going to react, huh? I just found out my ex-best friend is a homo. I guess you thought you could just confess to me and I would feel the same. Did you really think I would just confess to feeling the same for you, whisk you back home and make mad passionate love to you? Huh? Is that what you thought?" Jacob shouted at Seth as he pushed at the younger man who continued to sob.

"No! Jacob...I never thought anything like that? I swear! I never expected anything from you. Jacob look at me…I'm still the same Seth you've always known…" Seth tried to reach out to Jacob but Jacob reached his hand back quickly as if he were burnt by Seth's touch.

"Bitch don't you dare fucking touch me!" Jacob screamed as he backhanded Seth against the cheek. Jacob's eyes went wide as he stood there, hovered over Seth who lay broken on the ground, crying softly. Jacob couldn't believe he just did that but he couldn't stop himself. He was so angry…how could Seth do this to him? All of sudden…it all made sense. Why he felt the way he did, why he suffered these desires…was Seth encouraging it all from the start? Jacob didn't want anything to do with this liar…this manipulator he called his best friend.

"Just stay the fuck away from me." Jacob spat, looking down at Seth's pitiful form. Seth looked up to see nothing but hate in Jacob's eyes. He felt like he was bleeding from his lip but the pain was nothing compared to how his heart felt. He felt as if a stabbing knife was gnawing at his insides. How could Jacob do this to him? Say these things to him? Seth hoped..he believed with all his heart…all those nights of crying over Jacob and loving him….how could Jacob hate him so much?

"Jacob…..just give me a second okay….please Jacob…" Seth sobbed reaching up to Jacob for help, but Jacob backed away again.

"Stay the fuck away from me! And if you ever try to imprint on me, or if I even find out that you have, you'll regret it." Jacob threatened before kicking sand at Seth. Jacob gave Seth a final cold stare before running off back to his truck and speeding away, leaving Seth broken and hurt on the ground

"Jacob…I…I'm so sorry." Seth cried, falling into a fetal position, holding himself as he let the sobs escape his mouth and overcome him entirely.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE - Hope you enjoyed, thank you so much for reading ^_^


	6. LOVE 'n' HATE

AUTHOR'S NOTE - I can't even begin to apologize and it seems as if that's all I do whenever I update, but to those of you who have read this story I am truly sorry and just know it was never my intention to give up. Long story short…life happened…but at one point I'll admit that I thought maybe I should trash my account but when I kept receiving reviews and alerts and read over some of the things people had to say…I knew I couldn't end it off like that. It wouldn't be fair at all. I too have been in that situation of being a reader of something and for the story to be discontinued and left unresolved. So I won't treat you that way. I'm going to see this thing through especially now since today is the premier of Breaking Dawn, I thought it would be the perfect time for a comeback. I'm going to push myself to see this thing through till the end. Besides, with Breaking Dawn part 2 coming out next year which will be the end of the "Twilight era" as the fans call it; I hope to be done with this story by then. To the readers who continued believing in this story.….(you all know who you are) I just wanted to thank you and tell you that your reviews inspired me to come back and not give up on Seth and Jacob. Because of you guys, their story won't end here.

* * *

CHAPTER 6

_"Jacob…..wait! Please…look, I'm sorry…" Seth cried as he ran after Jacob who was walking away from him. Seth couldn't let things end this way. Not after everything they had been through, not after everything they had meant to each other._

_"Don't you dare touch me!" Jacob spat, ripping his arm away from Seth causing the younger wolf to lose his balance and fall to the ground, splashing into the mud. The cold and grungy mud stung his eyes and the freezing rain that fell from the dark heavy sky pierced his skin but Seth couldn't care less. The only pain that was noticeable to him at the moment was the agony of losing Jacob. Seth looked up to see Jacob staring down at him with a rage he had never seen before, with a disgust and contempt he had never felt directed at him before and a hatred that he never wanted to experience from the one person he cared most about. But in the midst of his suffering, Seth noticed something was off. Something was different. Hadn't this all happened before?_

_"How could you be this selfish? Huh?" Jacob shouted angrily as he looked down at Seth, the boy who claimed to love him._

_"ANSWER ME!" Jacob screamed reaching down and pulling Seth up from the ground, shaking him violently. Seth couldn't stop the tears that were splashing down his face. Feeling this hatred and anger from Jacob was like feeling a cold dagger digging into his chest. Finally Jacob threw Seth back down, who cried as he hit the ground once more._

_"Utlapa, I've been patient beyond measure with you…I've cared for you…I've been like a brother to you…and for you to confess something like this…just to get in between my fiancé and I…you know Kamilla means the world to me." Jacob demanded._

_"Taha Aki I never meant to get in between you and…wha….what…..wait...Jake something's wrong here." Seth stopped in midsentence as everything began to piece together. As Seth stood back up from the ground, he took in his surroundings and noticed that the sky was dark, but clearly it was still day time as the dark clouds were visible and the rain was pouring so hard and cold as if it were going into the season of winter. Looking around, Seth noticed they were also in the woods….in the middle of what appeared to be some type of clearing…Seth didn't recognize the place but he did know the place seemed familiar in some way. But it was not where this conversation had previously taken place, was it? This had all happened before, Seth was sure of that…but it was not this place…it was not at this time…and finally Seth's eyes landed on Jacob and he was more confused than ever. It was his beloved Jacob alright…but he was different. Instead of his normal short spiked haircut…Jacob's hair fell long like an ebon silk sheet, almost flowing past his muscular arms and physique down to his lower back. He was without a shirt which was normal for Jacob but his pants seemed to be made from a type of animal skin, with a belt of tools hanging from them. His hair was affixed with a feather and an ornamental tribal earring that hung from his left ear. Seth could see with his eyes that this was not Jacob…but in his heart he felt it was. All he had to do was look into those dark, black piercing eyes that looked at him with such venom and he knew it was Jacob._

_"Jacob….something's wrong here…" Seth tried to reason as he stepped closer to Jacob who in turn stepped further away._

_"What name did you call me?" Jacob asked suspiciously, squinting his eyes wearily down at the smaller man._

_"Jake….listen please…" Seth began._

_"I'm tired of listening to you! I don't want something unnatural like you in our tribe!" Jacob accused. Seth panicked as he watched the older man reach out to him and pull him up to eye level threateningly. Why was this happening to him? Why did things have to be like this? If he had known, he would have just kept his mouth closed and never revealed his love._

_"Jake…you...you can't mean that….please." Seth cried, trying to hold back the sobs._

_"Get out Utlapa! I want you to leave me alone and don't come back!" Jacob shouted, pushing Seth away as if the mere touch of him burned his skin. All of a sudden Jacob disappeared from sight, as well as the cold rain and the mud beneath his feet and the surrounding woods. Seth saw everything before his eyes fade away and become consumed by a black empty space. Everything felt cold and hollow and Seth had never felt so alone in his entire life. Seth began running, running away hoping to find a light…the light of Jacob but he felt like he was running for days almost and getting nowhere as the darkness was all there was in his world._

_"Stop trying, He doesn't love you." Came a deep grumbling voice from nowhere that seemed to shake Seth to the core. It felt like he was hearing the voice in his heart, rather than in his head and Seth couldn't understand. But the voice was horrifying to hear….loathsome, unpleasant and filled with hatred._

_"Who…..Who's there?" Seth asked aloud, his voice trembling._

_"He cares nothing about you." Whispered the chilling voice again. Seth cried out for Jacob, and began running once more but he was running out of breath._

_"J…Jake….are you there?" Seth whimpered but the horrifying voice merely laughed at him._

_"While you're pining for him….he's loving someone else." The voice teased. Seth broke down; his cries overtaking him like tremors in the earth, shaking him beyond his breaking point. He knew all this was true. He knew Jacob no longer cared about him…Seth knew the love of his life was in love with someone else…but even worse, he knew Jacob hated him now…hated him like he was a leech…a cold one._

_"Please stop…stop it...please I beg you." Seth cried, closing his eyes and sobbing into his hands. The deep grumbling voice continued to laugh at his pain and Seth crumbled._

_"First he'll turn your friends against you….then your family against you…then your whole tribe…then he'll cast you out." Came the voice again, filling Seth's mind and heart with sorrow._

_"No!….you're wrong!" Seth cried, he refused to believe that. No matter how hateful Jacob had become...he wouldn't do that. Seth knew in his heart that Jacob was a good person. He wouldn't treat him that way…would he? Seth had heard enough. He wasn't going to let the sorrow overtake him and win. He still believed in the words of his father._

_"Seth…there is nothing more powerful than the love of your friends and family…"_

_Seth almost cried again upon reminiscing on his father, but he believed in those words. Somehow those words would get him through._

_"He wants you dead." The dark voice chided repeatedly. "He wishes you were dead…..It would be easier if you were just dead." The voice continued._

_"NOOOO! YOU ARE A LIAR!" Seth screamed as he stood up defiantly, refusing to be beaten this way."YOU'RE A LIAR!" Seth shouted at the top of his lungs. As Seth calmed down, he noticed that the voice seemed absent and that he was alone in the darkness once more. Calming down, Seth turned to walk away…to find his way out of this deep and unfathomable abyss but he walked into something very warm and hard, like a living brick wall. He looked up to see Jacob…his Jacob. Warm and kind, strong and powerful…loving and…._

_"I hate you…..NOW GET OUT!" Jacob shouted angrily as he swiftly back handed Seth across the face. Seth felt the cheek skin almost tear under Jacob's fierce alpha strength and he fell back from the force and pain of it all. Seth felt like his face had just exploded and the tears arose once again but it was nothing compared to the sorrow he felt in his heart return. As he looked back up at Jacob though teary eyes, he saw Jacob looking down at him with an evil smirk, as he held Bella in his arms….caressing her, loving her…and kissing her._

_"Jacob…." Seth sobbed on the ground, feeling defeated and hopeless as he heard the menacing voice once again laugh maniacally at his pain and Seth fell apart once more. Where was hope when there was no longer any love from your friends and family Seth wondered as he felt the darkness consume him and he felt a pulling as if he was being ripped apart and dragged somewhere else._

* * *

Seth opened his eyes wearily to see his ceiling colored in gray from the dark light that illuminated through his open window. Turning over in his bed, Seth rubbed at his eyes.

"It was all…just a dream?" Seth wondered aloud. But inside he knew that it was a mere reflection of what had transpired only a few days ago. Seth sighed heavily as he sat up in his bed. Sometimes Seth still couldn't believe that it had all happened…that he had confessed his love to Jacob and had been rejected. It seemed like a horrible nightmare, one which Seth would give anything to wake from. Since then, Seth hadn't had the strength or courage to face Jacob or anyone for that matter. He had begged his sister to cover his patrol shifts, on account of him not feeling well. He hadn't even talked to his buddy Collin, choosing instead to live in his bedroom and allow sleep to offer him some reprieve from the pain he was enduring inside.

There was a soft knocking on the door that broke Seth from his thoughts and Seth turned to look at his door. The door opened quietly, and his sister poked her head through. Seth examined Leah's face. She held such worry behind her eyes as she looked at Seth with a concerned expression.

"Seth, are you awake?" Leah asked, looking into the dark room to see her little brother staring back at her. She broke into a small smile.

"Hey sis." Seth called out softly.

"You okay?" Leah asked.

"Uh…yeah, I'm fine. What's up?" Seth responded after swinging his legs over the side of the bed and rising from the comfortable confines of his blankets.

"Oh, I just wanted to let you know I have to go on patrol but…um…I'll be back shortly, okay." Leah said. Seth smiled at her, thankful for his supportive big sister. Since he started claiming he wasn't feeling that well, Leah had been covering for him and patrolling when he was supposed to. Luckily, Leah preferred to patrol alone instead of within the ranks that had been set up by Jacob and Sam so Seth assumed she probably hadn't run into Jacob yet and learned of what transpired between the two.

"Oh..um…Alright." Seth nodded. Leah nodded back and was about to make her way out when she paused for a moment to look at her brother. Leah noticed her brother had been acting strangely for the last couple of days. He had claimed to not be feeling well but when their mother offered to take him to the tribe's clinic he declined. Leah scoffed at the memory, remembering her mother claiming that wolves never fell ill and that Seth was just trying to play hooky to get out of patrols which angered Leah because clearly there was something wrong with her brother. He was not his normal positive and cheerful self. But she felt guilty for not having enough time to sit down and talk with him…and a part of her sensed that whatever was bothering Seth, he wasn't quite ready to talk about it. Leah felt the least she could do was cover his patrol shifts for him until he felt better.

"Seth, you know that if you ever need to talk, I'm here, right?" Leah reminded him.

"I know and….thanks Leah." Seth said in a mere whisper before he heard the door gently close.

Seth decided that he had slept enough and decided to leave the confines of his room for the first time in almost three days. Leaving his room, Seth made his way to the bathroom down the hall where he turned on the shower and stepped in, allowing the hot steaming water to cascade down his body. Reaching for the shower gel, he thought of that one time where he spent the night at Jacob's house and accidently walked in on Jacob masturbating in the shower. Seth laughed sadly at the memory. Back then, Seth had been so horrified and embarrassed and he couldn't stop apologizing but Jacob had found it all hilarious and wouldn't stop jabbing about how it only made him orgasm quicker at seeing Seth watching him and how Seth had wanted to see the show. Seth laughed bitterly of all he knew that he had lost…not only were his dreams of being with Jacob gone forever…but now he was left without his dear friend. He was so lost in his thoughts that he almost didn't hear the knocking at the front door of the house over the rushing water of the shower. Finally picking up on the incessant knocking, Seth rinsed himself off and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a large white towel from the linen closet and wrapping it around himself.

After throwing on some old sweat pants and a shirt, Seth ran down the stairs to find his loyal and dependable friend, Collin waiting at the door. Seth had to smile to himself seeing the anxious Collin, looking around with an annoyed expression on his face. Seth knew he had some explaining to do, especially for not contacting his friend for almost three days now. But Seth couldn't even bring himself to eat and carry on his daily routines without breaking down, let alone replay the events by telling Collin or Leah. Reaching for the doorknob, Seth just barely opened the door before Collin jumped through the doorway and into the house; practically tackling Seth to the ground as he hit him across the head.

"Owww! What was that for?" Seth rubbed the back of his head to sooth the soon to be bruise he was sure would be there. Collin stood there examining his friend. Seth looked well enough, but Collin knew he had to come over to check up on the older boy. Collin was afraid when he first started to notice Seth hadn't been returning his calls or coming over to see him and even claiming to be too sick to patrol. But when Collin was present at a pack meeting the other night…his worst fears were confirmed and he knew he had to see Seth right away.

"How come you haven't called me back? I've been calling you for the past three days!" Collin asked in a raised and upset tone.

"What do you mean?" Seth asked.

"We…we have to talk." Collin spoke as he walked past Seth and ascended the stairs up to Seth's bed room. Seth quickly followed, unsure of what had possessed Collin to be so serious. Once in Seth's bedroom, Collin took a seat on Seth's bed, keeping his eyes glued to the ground.

"Collin….what's going on?" Seth asked worriedly as he shut the door so they could have privacy even though there was no one in the house.

"What's going on? Are you serious? We haven't talked in three days and you have the nerve to ask me what's going on?" Collin nearly shouted. Seth felt guilty for that one. He knew he shouldn't have neglected Collin but….he had so much going on. But he knew that was no excuse. He should have made time for his friend.

"Collin, look, I'm sorry okay….it's just…I've just been a little busy, you know; helping my mom out around the house and patrols and stuff." Seth tried to lie to get his friend to calm down. Collin looked at Seth accusingly, feeling a little hurt that Seth would blatantly lie to him.

"Seth, don't you dare lie to me. You've been here! I know for a fact that you haven't phased in the past three days, otherwise I would have known. I've practically been phasing nonstop just to catch up with you." Collin retorted, leaving Seth at a loss for words.

"Um…..I'm sorry Collin. I just….I've just been a little tired lately, that's all, but…..I'm really sorry for neglecting you." Seth apologized, sitting next to Collin, hanging his head low in shame. Collin sighed heavily as he leaned his head on Seth's shoulder.

"Seth…its fine…I just….I've just been worried about you." Collin said.

"Worried? What for?" Seth asked as he wrapped an arm around Collin's shoulder. Collin immediately froze and looked up to Seth.

"Seth….I…I know what happened."

"What are you talking about?"

"Seth…how come you didn't tell me that….you had…told Jake?" Collin almost whispered. Seth's heart skipped a few beats. How did Collin know? He didn't tell him…he hadn't told anyone. Seth began wondering how on earth Collin would know something like that when it hit him….Jacob must told them…he must have told the pack what happened between them….that means that everyone knows.

"H…how…what….how did you know that?" Seth now was the one to panic though in his heart he knew the answer already.

"Seth…I don't know how to say this but…..Jake….he…..Seth….Jake told everybody what happened. The whole pack knows what happened. They know about….you." Collin revealed in a quiet voice.

"Wh.…what? No…no…you're lying, he….he wouldn't…Jake wouldn't do that." Seth accused, turning away from his best friend. Collin, feeling hurt grabbed Seth's arm and spun him back around.

"Seth, listen to me okay! He told Sam, Paul, Quil…the whole pack at the last meeting. And God knows who else they might have told with their big mouths. He said you confessed to him that you were a fa…um…..that you were gay and that you wanted him, he said you tried to come on to him and…." Collin explained but Seth interrupted him.

"What? NO! Nothing like that happened?" Seth yelled with horror. He felt like his stomach had dropped. He couldn't understand how this could happen. How could Jacob do this?

"I know Seth…I know you…I know you wouldn't do that and I know it didn't happen like that, but please tell me exactly what really happened?" Collin asked.

"Collin…I confessed, okay. I did. I…I know I shouldn't have but…I just couldn't lie to him anymore. I couldn't keep looking Jake in the eyes without being honest with him. I had to…I had to tell him. But I swear that's all I did. All I said was that I loved him!" Seth admitted as his eyes glazed over with tears. Collin pulled Seth into a tight hug and soothingly rocked him back and forth. It killed him to see his best friend like this.

"Seth….I….I know that. I know you. And I know you were honest with him." Collin agreed, rubbing Seth's back comfortingly as the older boy leaned on his shoulder.

"So what did he say?" Seth asked.

"Seth…he….he was making it sound even worse than it was because…Seth…..he was so angry. He was just…..so pissed off. He said he hated you and that he was done being friends with you. And you know the rest of the pack just found it so funny. They won't let it go. They keep making jokes about it. Some of the things the others have said about you…um….I don't even want to repeat what they've said but I wanted to talk to you first because they're just waiting for you to show up at the next pack meeting so they can confront you." Collin explained, feeling a bit guilty for telling Seth something so hurtful.

"I can't believe this is happening. But…why…why would he do that…I….." Seth asked in tears.

"Seth…I'm so sorry." Collin apologized.

"Did they….find out about you too?"Seth asked.

"Um….no….they don't know about me. But…Seth, I …..Seth I have to apologize to you." Collin confessed, standing up from the bed.

"Why? What for? Collin, you didn't do anything?"

"Yes I did…I…I'm a bad friend…a really bad friend…..Seth, I swear…I wanted so much to stand up for you, to defend you but…..if you could've heard the things they said….the whole pack…they say how disgusting fags are. Quil said he was going to kick your ass and Sam says he wouldn't allow homosexuals in the pack. Paul kept going on about how he'd kill any of us who he found out was a fag, even…even...even Embry was laughing right along with them. He didn't say anything like they did…but he found the whole thing funny too. He was joking around with the others too. I…I wanted to stand up for you but I was scared Seth….I….I didn't know how to…I…and when I saw Embry laughing…I knew he was laughing at me." Collin confessed stifling his tears.

"Collin….what do you mean? Why would he be laughing at you?" Seth wondered.

"Seth…I told him…I told Embry how I felt….." Collin was now the one in tears.

"What? When? How come you never told me this sooner?" Seth demanded.

"I wanted to but….I just wanted to…forget it ever happened. Besides, it's nothing. I don't mean anything to him…he rejected me." Collin answered.

"Collin…..I'm so sorry…I thought…I would have thought….I mean….I knew in my heart it wouldn't work out for me but, it might work out for you. Please don't give up on him Collin." Seth pleaded, not wanting to see his best friend give up on love.

"Seth, how can I face him again after what happened? How can I…..he hates me!" Collin shouted.

"He doesn't hate you Collin. Embry is not like that….he...he can be a jerk sometimes but unlike the others, he cares about people's feelings." Seth said.

"Does it even matter anymore Seth? Nothing is working out. Not for me, and not for you….but it's not fair. You deserve to be happy Seth….and…I….I stood there scared like some wimp and listened to them humiliate and degrade you….I betrayed you Seth." Collin confessed. Seth's face broke into a warm smile and draped a comforting arm around his friend. He couldn't have felt more thankful for having the younger wolf in his life. He really was loyal to a fault and Seth appreciated that.

"Collin, listen to me. I understand. I know how it feels to be afraid of being rejected. And how could you say anything to them? You were alone. I wasn't there with you…they would have just turned on you too so…I'm glad you didn't say anything. I don't want you to suffer on my account. And you did not betray me…you never could." Seth assured the younger man.

"But we're friends and I should have…."

"And friends look out for each other. Collin, I'm older than you so it's my job to look out for you. But…I'm glad you told me." Seth said with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry Seth…I'm sorry this whole thing happened." Collin replied as h leant into the older boy, sighing with frustration.

"It's okay….it's just...you know I….I really believed that if I had faith and was just honest with him…..even if he didn't love me back, I at least thought he would understand. I never thought he would hate me." Seth said as he looked away towards the window.

"Maybe…maybe he's just so shocked and confused…." Collin tried to encourage but Seth just shook his head.

"No. I believe you. I know how Jake. One thing about him...he never forgives. After I told him….he was so angry at me….he…he hit me." Seth admitted. Collin looked angrily toward Seth in shock and rage.

"What? He hit you?" Collin said with shock and anger.

"He was so mad…I never saw this rage in him before…I was scared he would phase and attack me." Seth nodded.

"How could he do that to you? I hate him! I hate all of them." Collin fumed as he jumped up in anger. He was so frustrated at the whole unfairness of it all, he felt himself just itching to phase. Seth seeing Collin's anger tried to calm him down. He knew he needed to stay calm and positive right now.

"Dude calm down. And please…don't hate them because of me. And especially don't hate Embry." Seth pleaded." You love him and you know you do."

"Well just because we love someone so much…I guess that doesn't necessarily guarantee a happy ending." Collin replied darkly.

"Collin…everything's going to be okay. Thanks though…for telling me. I guess…I'll have to face them sometime." Seth said with defeat.

"NO! Don't go to the pack meetings Seth, please. They're just waiting for you!" Collin warned with fear.

"I know." Seth said.

"Promise me you won't go Seth! Please! I'm just….Seth if you could have seen them…I'm scared for you." Collin begged.

"Collin…thank you….for being such a good friend. And please…remember that I'm here for you too." Seth hugged Collin as the two held each other for what felt like an eternity. Seth sighed and felt bad for lying to Collin. Whether or not Collin realized it, Seth knew he would have to meet Jacob and the pack at some time and let them have their way. He knew the confrontation would come sooner or later. But deep down Seth thought that just maybe he could reach out to Jacob…and apologize for what he did. He now knew that confessing wasn't right of him. It was selfish and he shouldn't have revealed his feelings without warrant. For all of that, Seth knew he had to take responsibility and suffer the consequences. Either way, he was scared but he knew he had to see Jacob…he had to see Jacob and set things right.

"Hey, I gotta get back home. Penny doesn't have a house key and she will be pissed if she has to wait on the porch again." Collin said. Seth reluctantly let go of his friend.

"Okay, come on." Seth walked along with Collin to the door. They made it outside and onto the porch where they both took a moment to gather their thoughts and ponder on the events that had transpired in the last week.

"Will you be alright?" Collin asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes I'll be okay." Seth laughed softy. "But...thanks for everything…just for being here."

"No problem. Just promise you'll call me tomorrow." Collin demanded more than pleaded.

"Sure….hey…um…...isn't that Brady?" Seth asked a bit taken aback as he pointed to the far side of the street. Collin turned to see what Seth was pointing and noticed Brady walking down the street. Collin fell sad as he saw the lonely young man walked through the sprinkling rain by himself and he thought of the old days when they used to be friends and how close they once were.

"It's weird seeing him outside of pack meetings. I saw him at the grocery store the other day when I was with my dad. He looked really miserable but he didn't say two words to me…he wouldn't even look at me." Collin explained.

"Living with Paul, who wouldn't be miserable?" Seth questioned as they made they studied the young man from afar. "I'm sorry about…you and Brady…whatever happened to you two?"

"I'm not sure really. You know, we're the same age and we used to be so close….you know, before his parents died…before we both phased…then he kind of just shut down and stopped talking to me. He wouldn't even acknowledge me when I tried asking him if there was something that I did wrong. That was around the same time Paul took him in." Collin mentioned sadly.

"It's weird though you know…sometimes I wondered….what really made Paul take Brady in like that when he acts like Brady is such a waste of time to him. Paul and Brady didn't even talk to each other before Brady's parents died." Seth wondered.

"No…I think his parents were close to Paul's dad. Paul's dad wanted to look good to the council so he made Paul take Brady in since Brady had no other family…that's what my dad told me anyways." Collin explained. Seth instantly felt pity for the younger man and he could see that compared to Brady; he had no right to complain about his situation.

"But Paul clearly hates taking care of him…..so why would he have agreed to it?" Seth asked curiously.

"I don't know…but you know how Paul is. He hates the fact that he has to take care of Brady like this. Everyone knows he doesn't even like people mentioning Brady. Remember that time the pack threw a cookout for Sam's birthday and Emily suggested Paul bring Brady and Paul almost snapped at her…and Paul's always nice to Emily." Collin answered seriously, thinking back to that time and realizing just how hard Brady's situation must be.

"Now I feel bad for even complaining about my situation…..at least we don't have to go home to someone like that." Seth replied in an almost grateful and yet sad tone thinking of what awaited him at the next pack meeting.

* * *

Brady trudged through the rain that continued to pour on him as he heaved with exhaustion. He knew that he didn't have far to go. But it wasn't the trip that discouraged him, it was the destination….home. Brady looked up at the gray sky, cursing whatever god or deity that claimed to exist and be in control. Home was not what Brady was going to. What he was resigned to…was hell. And as Brady sloshed through the rain that continued to fall he saw the house come into view down the road and he felt a foreboding in the pit of his stomach like an invisible force telling him to not continue. Just looking at the cobblestone porch and the brick walls made him cringe inwardly at what lay within. But where else could he go? He had nothing else? He had no one else? For the past three years, this house was his home…the Lahote house….Paul's house.

Thinking back on how he ended up living with Paul always made Brady's hackles rise because he couldn't count the number of nights he had lost sleep just thinking of the injustice and unfairness of it all. Just four years ago, Brady had lived a normal happy life. He had two loving parents who cared for him, he had a great friend in Collin who had had recently moved back to the rez from Los Angeles after his mother died. But all that changed when the vampire girl from Forks brought her problems on the whole tribe and before he knew it…the men of La Push began turning into wolves. At first Brady was horrified of the prospect of being a monster but accepted it knowing his friend Collin was right there by his side and that the pack was a team…a family…and they would look out for each other. Even his parents took the news well being well versed on their culture's myths and being proud that their son was now a protector of La push. For awhile…things started to look up..until the battle against Victoria and the new born army arose and although Brady was ordered by Sam to stay behind with Collin; he'll never forget the feeling of returning home only to find Charlie Swan and Paul's father, Chris Lahote waiting on his front porch with grim faces.

"_We're sorry son…drunk driver…they were hit head on…they didn't make it."_

Charlie's words echoed in his head and he would never forget the look of sadness in Chris Lahote's old eyes as he looked down at him as his parents had been very close to Paul's father. Brady remembered running into the woods despite Chris and Charlie's shouts to come back. He remembered Collin being worried and bringing Sam and the others to find him in the woods, curled into a ball and weeping. He remembered being taken to Chris's house and forced to stay the night while listening to the pack and the elder council decide what to do with him….and he remembers above all else it being decided that Paul would take him in.

"_What the fuck do you mean I have to take him in? He's no kin of mine!"_

Brady knew not to complain. Since Chris had moved into Forks to be near his new white wife and left the house to Paul, everyone was convinced that Paul having no other responsibilities should take him in. Brady kept quiet through it all. He even forced himself not to cry at the funeral. But despite his parents and Paul's father being close friends, Brady who was several years younger had never been close to Paul and he never had a desire to. As a child he could clearly recall he and his parents having dinners with Paul's dad and then Paul walking in drunk and arguing with his father as to why he came in late. Even when Brady had first become a pack member, Paul had regarded him as a stupid runt who was too slow to take orders and too babied by his parents to make it anywhere. But despite all that..Brady had remained positive because he thought just maybe ..just maybe Paul was a nice guy deep down and would care for him when he moved in. But too his horror, that was never the case.

At first things were merely tense and uncomfortable. Paul was a hot head, Paul had a temper, Paul was an alcoholic, Paul loved women…and even drugs sometimes. All this everyone knew about him and everyone knew Paul wasn't going to change his life to accommodate for a kid he didn't even want to take care of. But everyone kept quiet cause no one knew what Brady knew. That behind closed doors, Paul was abusive. It started out as insults. Every time Brady dropped something, every time he did something wrong Paul was there to badger him or call him stupid or worthless or even a fag…but that was normal. Paul treated all the younger wolves in the pack that way. But then things slowly changed. Paul became more aggressive and physical. He would push Brady or smack him when he talked back even when he was in the right which led to full on punches to the face or stomach. And no one questioned this, not with healing abilities. There was no way for anyone to know. And Brady knew for a fact that Paul exploited this to his advantage. It became that Paul expected Brady to clean the house, to buy his groceries, to wash his clothes, to cook his meals….even though the older man was hardly even home enough to appreciate these things, instead out clubbing whenever he wasn't at work or running patrols with the pack.

Through it all, Brady knew to keep quiet because he feared worse. He couldn't recall all the times Paul would sneak into his room in the middle of the night, reeking of alcohol and apologize for beating him only to hit him again out of frustration and then threaten to kill him if he told anyone. He couldn't recall the number of times Paul had faked being nice to him in front of the pack and their neighbors and the tribe, only to turn it off like a switch the moment they were in the house together alone. But worst of all..he couldn't recall the number of times he had fantasized about Paul…because despite the older man's barbaric treatment towards him. There were times when Brady was lucky enough to have peaceful nights and dream of a kinder Paul who would take him into his arms and make love to him the same way he had heard him make love to the countless whores he brought into the house on a regular basis. And their bedrooms being right next to each other, sometimes Brady suspected Paul was loud on purpose. But then those peaceful dreams would be interrupted by Paul barging into his room late at night and ordering Brady to give him a blow job. Of course Brady would refuse which would result in Paul beating him then storming out with the threat of kicking him out in the morning. As of yet, that threat hadn't been fulfilled but Brady knew it was because despite Paul's carefree lifestyle…he cared what the pack and the tribe thought of him and enjoyed his esteemed position as a veteran wolf pack member.

Walking into the house, Brady felt tears well up in his eyes at what his life had become. He thought it was probably sick and demented that he would have feelings for a man who thought he was more worthless than the dirt beneath his feet. But he was even more surprised by how someone could hate him so much. After all, he never asked for this…..and sometimes Brady felt like he wished he was in that car with his parents at the bottom of the river. So what could he do now? Keep living? Keep surviving? He felt like a shell with no soul. He didn't even have a friend to run to since Paul was also very possessive of him and ordered him not to speak with anyone else but him. The older man never allowed Brady to go to any of the bonfire parties or outings with the pack or tribe and even forced Brady to stop being friends with Collin. And because of this, there wasn't a time when Brady didn't watch Collin from a distance and felt anger towards him for befriending the older Seth now that they no longer talked. But he knew there was no one else to blame but Paul….his fantasy…his tormentor.

Taking in his surroundings, Brady knew Paul would kill him if he didn't get started cleaning up the house so he abandoned his schoolwork at the door and set to work picking up the trash and various beer bottles off the floor, all courtesy of Paul. As Brady made his way to the kitchen and began on the mountain of dishes that Paul had left for him yesterday he was interrupted by a young woman walking in. Brady looked up to see Paul's newest bedmate…a young woman named Laura whom Paul had been sleeping with for almost two weeks. Brady saw that she was very beautiful even though all that she currently wore was one of Paul's oversized shirts which came to dress length on her slender body. She didn't look native so Brady assumed she wasn't from La Push or the neighboring Makah or Ho tribe. But she did look ethnic with her tanned skin and dark ebon hair that fell shoulder length. Brady assumed she was Latino. Either way, from what Brady had been hearing through his walls for the past week, she had a great set of lungs when she orgasmed.

"Oh shit, please don't tell me he has a kid." Laura asked as she trotted into the room and froze at the sight of seeing Brady cleaning the kitchen. Brady found it funny how she didn't recognize him even though he knew who she was. Of course their first and only meeting she was probably too stoned to remember him as Paul had brought her back from some club at two in the mooring and they were both high as well as drunk. Besides, Brady figured all the expletives he heard Laura and Paul shout through the walls told him everything he needed to know about the girl.

"Huh?" Brady replied as he looked up to Laura who was obviously a bit hung over.

"Are you Paul's kid or something?" Laura asked accusingly.

"Me? Um…n..no…I'm…seventeen…..I'm just…Paul's my cousin." Brady lied. At this point, it was almost a reflex for the young man. Laura twitched her lip…then smiled apologetically as if Brady had just relieved her.

"Oh, um…alright. Sorry about that." Laura said as she sat down at the bar table, staring at him curiously. She held her cell phone which she began playing with feebly while still stealing glances at him. Feeling a bit scrutinized under her gaze, Brady decided to distract her by putting on some coffee despite it being three in the afternoon but Brady knew one thing from living with Paul; coffee helps with sobering up a person.

"Um….here….you might want this." Brady said, handing her a hot cup of strait black coffee. Laura looked up a bit shocked and took the cup gratefully

"Oh…um...thanks. I bet you have to make this often, keeping Paul from drinking himself to death and all." Laura said. "But I have to ask….are you…um…..like the house maid or something?" she asked with an amused look on her face at watching Brady flit around the kitchen; cleaning as he went.

"Um…yeah…or something." Brady replied under his breath turning away from her. Suddenly he heard her sigh impatiently as she stood up from her chair.

"Christ…I've gotta go to work. Listen kid, tell Paul to call me when he gets up." The girl said looking at her watch as she left to go dress herself. Brady watched her walk down the hall and emerge a few minutes later dressed in a shameless excuse for a dress….Brady figured long ago that he would never understand women, let alone their fashion sense.

"Oh, and one more thing kid. You tell that bastard I will be getting that pregnancy test and if it comes out as positive he WILL be taking care of the baby and if he doesn't then I am aborting it as well as our relationship." Laura threatened before walking out the door, taking care to slam it as loud as possible. Brady cringed as he realized that would wake Paul out of any sleep no matter how hung over his healing ability allowed him to be. Hearing the bedroom door down the hall open and the sound of bare feet stomping against the hardwood floor made Brady's heart clench in fear. He didn't want this. He didn't want to face this…

"Where the fuck have you been?" Paul yelled as he walked into the room wearing nothing but a pair of denim jeans. Brady turned to face Paul….taking in the beautiful monster that stood before him. Paul was built and muscular just like most of the older wolves, with short cropped hair that somewhat resembled Jacob's spiked do and perfectly chiseled abs and pectorals that seemed to flex and twist with every movement he made. His face was gorgeous and seductive and Brady never doubted how Paul made every one of his past bedmates willingly drop their panties. Whenever he smiled cockily or smirked..it was hard not to be enthralled by his charm…but for Brady, it was also hard not to be afraid of the man who had become his tormentor. The man exuded as much fear as he did arousal in the younger boy.

"Huh? Oh…um…Paul…..I…." Brady stammered, looking away. Hoping Paul hadn't caught him staring. Paul's nose flared in rage as he looked down at Brady.

"Don't you fucking lie to me boy! It's three. Didn't I tell you to bring your dumbass straight home?" Paul questioned angrily.

"I did…I swear Paul, I didn't go anywhere. I had to stay afterschool for tutoring and then the bus ran late so I had to walk…" Brady tried to explain but Paul wouldn't listen.

"I don't even know why the fuck you waste your time going to that damn school. You're dumb as shit so I don't know what you could learn. You should be home cleaning up this piece of shit house." Paul said with a wry smile as he watched Brady's head drop.

"I'm sorry Paul…I…got caught up with my homework last night. I didn't have time to clean the…." Brady tried to explain but before he could finish he jumped as he heard Paul's fist connect with the table; slamming it loudly.

"Did I fucking tell you to talk back to me?" Paul questioned hotly. Brady backed away against the wall as he unconsciously felt tears in eyes which only made Paul smirk; his demeanor changing into one of cockiness and arrogance.

"You're such a fag, you know that? What are you going to do now, cry some more?" Paul spat venomously as he stepped closer to Brady.

"Paul…please…let me by…." Brady pleaded as he tried to slowly step out of the corner that Paul had backed him into but Paul grabbed him roughly by the arm and slammed him back into the corner.

"You belong to me, do you understand? You don't go until I'm done with you! You little ungrateful bitch. I've been fucking taking care of your worthless ass for three years now and you have the nerve to talk back to me." Paul spat. Being this close, Brady could smell Paul's masculine scent of amber and musk mixed with the ever present smell of beer.

"Paul…I'm sorry…I….." Brady struggled to move away from the older man but was backhanded quickly across the face. He was shocked by the sheer abruptness of it but not in the least surprised. After all, this was the routine and while the bruise would heal..the pain would linger for awhile.

"Shut up! And why the fuck is there nothing to eat in this house. I gave you the money to get the groceries didn't I?" Paul accused. Brady looked up at Paul with confusion and a bit of frustration. He tried his best to adhere to Paul's every whim and wish and yet..nothing was ever good enough.

"Well Paul I tried but I can't very well go to the grocery store when I have school, I'm sorry." Brady replied but wished that he hadn't. It was too late. The words had already flew from his mouth and when he saw the look in Paul's eyes Brady knew that a bruised cheek would be the least of his scars tonight. Immediately Brady attempted to run but Paul caught up with him quickly.

"Come here you little fucker!" Paul demanded, grabbing the young boy and throwing him down on the floor violently. Brady held up his hands in defense knowing it wouldn't do any good.

"No! Please!" Brady cried desperately as he saw Paul go for his leather belt, removing it from his jeans and pulling it back before hitting Brady on the thighs with it. Brady screamed out in pain. It stung so badly that he was sure if he was not wearing any clothes that it probably would tear his skin.

"What did I fucking tell you about talking back to me? Huh?" Paul cursed, bringing back the belt in his hand and hitting it against Brady's skin repeatedly. Brady continued to cry and scream as tears ran down his face; enduring the beating that he should be accustomed to but Brady was never one for pain.

"I'll teach you to watch your fucking mouth." Paul cursed as he continued to beat the younger man beneath him with the belt until he seemed to pause…as if his rage had somewhat sobered him. Paul yielded his attack and stepped back, looking down on Brady with anger. But Brady saw something else...confusion…frustration…..remorse?

"Brady…I…." Paul said with a deep sigh…a soft but deep tone that Brady heard very rarely.

Paul looked down at his hand which held the belt and threw it down at Brady as if to hit him but it missed Brady and hit the floor. Brady watched as Paul closed his eyes and scrunched his eyebrows as if battling with something inside before his eyes opened again and the older man's face grew into one of hate before he violently kicked Brady in the ribs making the younger boy cry out.

"Get the fuck up and clean this shit up you stupid bitch, and have some god damn food on the table when I get back!" Paul threatened before storming out of the house. Brady heard the door slam shut and was relieved to know Paul was gone…but he couldn't find the strength to stand. He remained on the floor for a couple of hours and cried as he thought about Paul….his life…the pack…and wishing sometimes that he was in that car with his parents…at the bottom of the lake.

* * *

Jacob lay in bed even though it was the afternoon, staring up at his ceiling with only one person on his mind. Seth. Every time he closed his eyes…there was his Seth. Just as beautiful, innocent, caring and loving and there wasn't anything in the world Jacob wanted more than Seth….and he hated him for that. Folding his muscular arms underneath his head, he turned to look at the sleeping body laying next to him…Bella Swan. All his life he had dreamt of being with her and he had loved her more than anything…or so he thought. But in his heart he knew the truth…no matter how much he tried to think of Bella and focus on the girl of his dreams…Seth would come back to the forefront of his mind. Closing his eyes, Jacob cursed to himself as he thought of the last time he had seen Seth a couple of days ago; when his nightmares had been confirmed when Seth confessed to him. Thinking back, Jacob cringed somewhat at the memory of Seth crying and broken as he rejected him. Jacob knew he didn't just reject the younger one, he broke him but Jacob couldn't have fathomed that Seth would ever feel the same way about him and that thought sickened him. This wasn't right? He wasn't supposed to feel this way? Was he? Then why did he feel so guilty? This confusion only angered Jacob all the more. He wouldn't be going through this if it weren't for Seth. All this time he had been trying to get close enough to put these thoughts in his head.

"_Seth made me feel like this? He fucking made me want him!"_ Jacob thought to himself.

Jacob rolled over to look at the beautiful pale skinned girl lying next to him. He smirked to himself as he thought of how intense and amazing she was last night. He reminisced as he impaled her on his thick cock and penetrated her tight wetness repeatedly despite her pleasurable cries of him being too rough and it hurting. But Jacob didn't care. He needed an outlet. He needed something…someone to distract him from what he really wanted. And realizing that he wanted Seth more than Bella pissed Jacob off even more because this was not how it was supposed to be. He wasn't even supposed to be a wolf. He was supposed to have a normal life and get married and have children and live up to everyone's expectations….but how could he do that when he had feelings for a boy. A boy who had the nerve to confess his feelings to him. Jacob decided to put it out of his mind for now after all if he thought anymore about Seth, his current growing erection would never go away and he needed something to distract him yet again. Wondering if Bella would compensate for his need, he smiled coyly as he slipped his hand down in-between her thighs which were still wet from his spunk the previous night.

Feeling a warm thick digit entering her, Bella awoke from sleep and smiled as she rolled her head to face Jacob. She smiled at this god of a man…his broad smile and dimples, his jet black spiked hair, his thick and muscled body of perfection coated with copper tanned skin….this man was what she craved and sometimes made her wonder why she even wasted her time with Edward Cullen. But as she gazed at the man who she willingly let rape her last night she caught a glimpse of his alarm clock which read 9:30 am and she rolled her eyes in aggravation as it dawned on her that Edward would be arriving at her house back in Forks to check up on her.

"Oh Crap." Bella sighed as she rose from the bed, pushing Jacob's hand out of her way. Jacob frowned and looked at her in confusion as he watched her move lazily around the dark room in search of her clothes. He admired her pale nude form, watching her breast and ass sway as she moved but he bit his lip wanting just once to see Seth in such a bare and nude state.

"What's wrong?" Jake asked tiredly as he sat up in bed.

"Um…Nothing, I…..I gotta go." Bella explained, rummaging around the bedroom in search of her clothing. She reached down and found her bra and began putting it on to cover herself when she heard a deep chuckle come from Jacob. Turning to him, she saw him sitting up in bed holding her white laced panties in his hand and twirling them in-between his fingers.

"Looking for these?" Jacob smirked as he held them to his nose and inhaled deeply. Just the sight of that and the intense look he was giving her made her want to fall back in bed and let this native god make love to her again but she knew she had someone else waiting for her who could offer her a better life and existence than being stuck on a reservation all her life like her mother was once stuck with her father.

"Give them here." Bella said rolling her eyes while trying not to blush. Jacob tossed them to her reluctantly and then proceeded to pull the sheet off of his body, exposing his bare and nude body for her to see. Bella gasped as she gazed at his perfectly cut abs, his strong muscled arms and his beautiful face.

"Oh come on Bells, don't you want a quickie before you have to go." Jacob asked seductively holding his hand out to her.

"Um…no thanks Jake. But you have fun taking care of that little guy." Bella teased as she continued to put on her clothes; pulling up her jeans and grabbing her hoodie. Jacob's jaw dropped in mock hurt and he stood up to present all his glory to her.

"There's nothing at all little about this." Jacob boasted with a smirk as he grabbed his cock by the hilt and started stroking up and down to show off its impressive size and girth and while Bella was tempted, she couldn't give in.

"Yeah sure, okay." Bella teased as she ignored him, grabbing her bag. Jacob frowned at her dismissive attitude and became serious.

"Bella, come on." Jacob said in a serious tone trying to get her attention as she continued to ignore him by putting her shoes on. By this point, Jacob had had enough.

"Bella!" Jacob almost yelled.

"What?" Bella shot back, stopping what she was doing. Jacob strode over to her and forcefully pulled her and into his arms, not caring about his nudity. If anything, he used it to his advantage as he grinded his cock against her and kissed her passionately, shoving his tongue in her mouth and caressing her backside. Bella felt like she would melt and give in but she knew that if she didn't put her foot down then she would never be able to leave.

"Stop it! That's over for now, okay. I have to get back home now, Edward is waiting for me." Bella spat, pulling away from Jacob and faking disgust. Jacob scoffed with anger at her reaction to his advances as he watched her walk away and continued putting her shoe.

"Yeah, that's right. Just fucking leave and crawl up behind your blood fucker." Jacob spat as he walked over to his side of the bed and retrieved his jeans. He pulled them up with haste as he felt the urge to go for a run in his wolf form. Arguing with Bella always made him want to run out his frustrations. Seeing his anger, Bella walked back over to him and hugged him from behind.

"Please Jake. Last night was amazing…it was perfect. So can we not fight today. Please." Bella begged, not wanting to get into another fight with him but Jacob just pulled away from her touch.

"No! I'm sick and tired of sharing you! Just tell him you don't love him and we can be…" Jacob begged but Bella quickly cut him off.

"Be what? Together? Jake, we've gone through this a million times over. I love you, but…like a friend." Bella answered.

"Friends don't fuck each other!" Jacob shouted back.

"What more can I do Jake? I love you…but…I…I can't tell him it's over…I love him. It's always been Edward….you know that." Bella replied as they both stood there staring determinedly at each other. Jacob fumed as he felt himself shaking and itching to phase.

"Then why are we even wasting our god damn time? If you don't want me, than just be honest and tell me so I can move on….please." Jacob pleaded as he turned away from Bella not wanting to look her in the eyes.

"Jacob….I do want you Jake…but…I…I…..why are you being like this? I thought…this….this friendship was enough for you." Bella tried touching Jacob again but he pulled away from her once more as he turned back to look at her in a rage.

"Damn it Bella, you know I want more than this! I want more than just quick fucks behind his back. I'm tired of hiding what we have from him…from everybody…" Jacob countered.

"But we decided…" Bella tried to explain but Jacob cut her off.

"NOO! You decided!" Jacob yelled.

"I let you fuck me almost every night, isn't that enough?" Bella yelled back.

"No! It's never enough damn it!" Jacob answered.

They both stood there glaring at one another. Jacob turned away again and sat on the bed as he cursed silently but loud enough for her to hear. Jacob was so angry he didn't know what he would do. How could Bella be this selfish? She knew he wanted her…that he wanted more than what they had now? So why was she keep him on a leash like some dog? Was she really that expendable to her? And as always...one person returned to his thoughts. But this time Jacob was grateful for Seth being on his mind because it calmed him thinking of Seth's kindness and patience….it calmed his inner wolf enough that he no longer felt he would phase. As Jacob thought of it, even if hated the younger boy….Jacob knew that Seth would never treat him like this….if anything Seth would put Jacob's needs before his own. Just that thought alone made Jacob for the first time alone want to hit Bella for not being what he needed.

"Look…I'm….I'm sorry okay. But this is hard for me too okay." Bella said quietly as she approached Jacob unsure of his anger. She was never intimated by his strength and power as a wolf having spent most of her time around vampires but still she didn't want him to be angry with her. Besides there was something that had been on her mind since last night. Something she hadn't thought much on when it happened but she had to bring it up and ask Jacob about it before she left.

"Whatever." Jacob spat.

"Look…..Jake….can I ask you something?" Bella began hesitantly.

"What do you want now?"

Breathing in deeply and mustering her strength, Bella walked closer to Jacob until she was in front of him.

"I…I just….wanted to ask you something…why….why….did you whisper Seth last night?" Bella asked.

Jacob felt like his eras had been submerged under water as a great weight feel upon him. His heart raced and he began to sweat all over. Surely he hadn't mentioned Seth's name last night in the middle of having sex with Bella. But Jacob couldn't recall. During g sex with Bella, Jacob had envisioned Seth so many times he had lost count but he had never let anything slip..or so he thought. He panicked and in anger he snapped.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Jacob shouted. Bella bit her lip nervously and backed away.

"Well..in the middle of it…..you were mumbling stuff and then you grunted out Seth's name." Bella confessed.

"What? Are you crazy? I didn't say anything like that. Maybe you're hearing things." Jacob stuttered, trying to brush it off as he got up from the bed and moved away from Bella.

"Look Jake…it's no big deal to me it's just…..how come you never told me?" Bella asked. Jacob frowned and looked at her sternly. He was getting agitated with her questions and didn't like where she was going with this.

"Tell you what? Where the hell are you going with this?" Jacob replied.

"Why didn't you tell me you had feelings for Seth?" Bella asked. Jacob wasn't sure if it was his self control or his desire to not start a war with the Cullens that held him back from running over and ripping her neck open..something he never would have even imagined doing before.

"WHAT? I don't have any fucking feelings for that fag!" Jacob yelled.

"Well apparently you do anytime you're calling out his name when you're fucking me. What have you been doing this entire time? Pretending that I was him?" Bella snapped back.

"Of course not? Are you crazy?"

"No I'm not because I heard full well what you said last night and don't try to tell me otherwise." Bella warned and that truth was like the pin needle falling to the floor. Faster than she could see, Jacob jumped across the bed to where Bella stood and grabbed her by the neck and held her against the wall.

"YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Jacob shouted so loudly that his spit hit her in the face and the sheer loudness of his voice seemed to shake the entire house. Bella felt like her heart had stopped in fear. She had never ever been afraid of Jacob before. But she had never seen this side of him directed at her…up until now.

"Let go of me Jacob or I'll tell Edward and he'll come over here faster than you can blink and kick your ass." Bella said as she tried her best to hide her fear. Jacob realized what he was doing and released her. But he was still too angry to apologize for his actions. He just needed to get out and get away from everything. He needed to phase.

"You know what, just get the fuck out!" Jacob shouted as he stomped over to the door and held it open for her. Bella rubbed her bruised neck idly as her facial features softened. She hated how every time they spent the night together..it always ended like this.

"Jake…..please…I didn't want this…" Bella started.

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!" Jacob screamed threateningly. J

"Fine you bastard." Bella sniped before she stormed out, doing her best to brush against Jacob as she walked by him.

"Damn it!" Jacob cursed, grabbing his night side lamp and throwing it against the wall causing it to shatter. He was now glad that his father Billy was not in the house. He hit the wall a few times, putting large holes in it before he fell to the floor and began crying. He thought of Bella…he thought of his life…he thought of Seth. What was he going to do? He knew he had to talk to Bella and make things up with her…if not to make up then at least to make sure his secret didn't get out. Of course he would still deny what she said but Jacob wasn't sure just how much Bella had heard as he fantasized that it was Seth he was making passionate love to last night. It all came back to Seth..it was always Seth….and Jacob didn't know what to do at this point. Because of Seth..he had just fought with Bella and Jacob was pretty sure she would tell Edward that Jacob lost control and hit her just to spite him. Seth was going to pay for this if he ever showed his face back in his life…no matter how much he loved him…he couldn't give in. He wouldn't.

"Seth….I..God..I hate you Seth…I hate you so much!" Jacob cried.

* * *

The next morning, Collin lazily made his way from his bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen to find his father Kevin Littlesea hunched over at the table eating cereal while reading the morning paper. Ever since his mother had died of cancer several years ago, Collin and his little sister were forced to return to La Push. Of course Collin's father hadn't cared either way, not having any fond memories of his hometown but this was requested from their late mother who wanted her children to go back to their roots. Sometimes, Collin missed the big city of Los Angeles….a place not as close minded as the homely county of La Push, Washington.

"Hey Dad." Collin greeted his father absently as he grabbed a bowl from the cupboard and slumped into a chair opposite his father at the table. The past few days had been filled with so many emotional lows that he wasn't sure he would be able to keep everything together. Between Seth's suffering with Jacob and his own suffering with Embry plus the pack's growing antagonism…Collin was on the verge of a giving up. At this point, he didn't see the point of even believing in anything anymore.

"Oh, hey son. How are you feeling?" Kevin asked with concern as he looked up from his paper. Collin nodded his head as he reached over and grabbed himself some cereal.

"I'm okay." Collin answered distractedly as he filled his bowl with cereal and sat staring at it.

"Are you sure?" Kevin pressed.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Look son, I…I know I haven't been around much lately with work and all. I'm sorry." Kevin apologized but Collin just shook his head with a smile.

"Its fine dad, really. You have to work, I understand that." Collin said.

"Yes, but it's not fair on you though. Taking care of the cooking and cleaning. Looking after your sister, looking after our tribe." Kevin went on as he looked at the son that he was so very proud of.

"Dad! Anyone else in my position would do the same. I'm just…doing what I have to do." Collin reasoned.

"No, most young people wouldn't do the same Collin. Most young kids your age have a normal life…something I…I wish you could have." Kevin stated in a serious tone as he looked at the picture of his late wife Connie that was stuck to the refrigerator.

"I'm okay Dad…just been a little tired lately with everything going on and stuff." Collin assured his father. Kevin locked eyes with his son. One thing Collin was grateful for was the close bond that he had with his father. Collin could tell his father everything the man would always be there for him and understand him. So it was no surprise that Kevin was one of the few people who saw no wrong with his son being gay therefore he found the whole ordeal Seth was enduring at the hands of Jacob and the tribe ridiculous and unfair.

"How's' Seth doing?" Kevin asked.

"As well as I can be expected I guess, given the situation. I just…hate…I hate everybody here. Everyone is being so unfair to him…his mom, the pack, the tribe…especially Jacob. Seth never did anything to anyone…Seth's the best person there is…how does he deserve this?" Collin asked his voice shaky with the onset of tears.

"He doesn't Collin and I agree, it is unfair what he's going through…but…some people...it takes them time to accept others…it takes time for people to change. Seth is a special kid. They'll see that too eventually. I look at Seth as one of my own…so if he needs a place to stay…tell him…my door is always open for him." Kevin assured his son. Collin smiled widely at his living father.

"Thanks dad. It's just...with everything going on….just makes me wonder...I'm sorry, I shouldn't say things like that." Collin began but halted…because although his father was very accepting he still did not want to say something to disappoint him.

"Son…I always taught you to speak your mind. You can talk to me." Kevin insisted sternly.

"It's just…sometimes I wonder if this…this wolf thing…the tribe...the pack...our duties….. is it all something I want to continue living with. And I know that's selfish of me to say but…sometimes…I wish I was just normal. Well as normal as a gay kid can get." Collin explained with honesty, afraid to look his father in the eye.

"Look son... I'm not going to lie. Growing up here, I always hated this place. I only moved us back here to the rez after your mother died because she loved it and she wanted you guys to grow up here…but I never wanted to put culture before my kids. You guys…you and Penny mean more to me than this tribe and the culture and the wolf pack….I want you guys to be happy. If you're not...please tell me…I'll pick us up and get us the hell out of here. I promise you I will. I…..I know I don't say this to you enough….given the fact that…well since we lost your mother…I always thought she knew how to talk to you about this stuff better than I could but that doesn't mean I'm not here for you. Collin, you are my son. I love you and I'm so proud of you…of how strong you are…how much you do for me and Penny…you've been pretty much a brother, a father and a mother to her. Gay or straight….I love you and I'll always be on your side….I just…wanted you to know that." Kevin said, pulling Collin into a firm hug. Collin melted at the feel of his father's strong arms wrapped securely around him and he felt like nothing in the world could go wrong as long as he had his father and sister. The family is what mattered most.

"Thanks dad. I love you too." Collin whispered.

"You look so much like your mother sometimes…it's uncanny." Kevin admitted as he kissed his son's forehead, trying his best to blink back tears. Collin merely giggled at the sight as he caught a glimpse of the time on the wall clock.

"You better hurry up and go, don't want to be late for work. Port Angeles is a half hour away." Collin reminded his father. His father stepped back and looked at his watch, nodding his head in agreement.

"You're right. Alright, I'll see you two later then." Kevin kissed the top of his son's head one last time before grabbing his jacket and keys and heading out the door with his briefcase in hand. Collin sat back down at the table replaying the events of the past week in his head. He knew no harm would come to him as long as his father was here…but Seth he knew wouldn't be so lucky. Collin had an amazing father who would never turn on his son. Seth…well…Seth had an absentee mother who put the pack and the glory of the tribe before her own kids and was only present when she wasn't sleeping with Charlie Swan. But there was Leah, and Collin knew that Leah cared for her brother as if he were her son but he knew that Leah kept to herself and tried her best to remain absent from the rez by staying busy with work and school. But if he could just meet with Leah, maybe he could let her know what was going on; if she hadn't already found out herself.

"Hello stinky." Penny chided as she walked into the kitchen fully dressed for the day. Collin looked at his little sister with amusement for her silly behavior; breaking him away from his troubling thoughts.

"Morning to you too. And how many times have I told you not to call me that? I'm your big brother. You're supposed to respect me." Collin chastised with a wry smile.

"Yes stinky sir." Penny saluted mockingly as she burst into giggles.

"Whatever. Do you have ballet practice today?" Collin asked.

"Yeahp. Jody's mom is carpooling so she is picking me up." Penny answered as she pulled on her purple puffer jacket.

"Okay. Dad said he would be home late again so I'm making dinner again tonight." Collin said as he handed her a brown paper bag with her lunch inside.

"Ewww gross. I hate when you cook. Sorry but I'll pass. I'm staying at Jody's house tonight." Penny answered, causing Collin to sigh impatiently; crossing his arms across his chest.

"That's the third night this week Penny. You know, it wouldn't kill you to spend a little time at home. And besides, my cooking is just fine. Dad says I cook just like mom." Collin replied. Suddenly, Penny became quiet and dropped her gaze away from her big brother.

"That's just it…it makes me miss mom sometimes." Penny admitted with sadness evident in her voice. Collin stood still not knowing what to do. He wanted to go over and embrace his sister, but Penny had always been the independent type who hated hugs and strived to be grown up whenever she could which amused both Collin and Kevin.

"Collin…when is she coming back?" Penny asked quietly. And Collin knew that whenever Penny called him by his real name, something was wrong.

"Um…..Penny….we had this discussion before….she….mom's not coming back." Collin tried to explain but stopped short when he realized what he was saying. It had been years now and sometimes…it still felt like his mother would come walking back through the front door. Both Collin and Penny were pulled from the silent moment by the sound of loud car horn being blown.

"Oh! That's my ride. Bye Collin." Penny said abruptly as she wiped a stray tear from her face and grabbed her book bag before running out the door. Collin followed her to the door just in time to see her climb into the stone-age van of Jody's mother, Mrs. Hunter.

Collin was about to go back upstairs and change, deciding that he would go over to Seth's and check on him when a soft knock came to the door. Collin went back and looked through the peephole and was shocked to see none other than Embry Call standing on the other side. He immediately went back to that night…confessing his feelings…Embry kissing him…then rejecting him and running off. His heart began to race and his palms began to sweat. What was Embry doing here?

Slowly Collin pulled at the heavy oak door, feeling like his chest was constricting and when he fully opened it and saw Embry Call standing there, his short cropped hair dripping from the rain and wearing nothing but a pair of cut off denim shorts…Collin felt his heart go aflutter as if it was the first time he had seen the older man. He noticed the rain drops that had collected on Embry's perfect copper skin, collecting in the crevices of his abs and cascading down his broad chest and shoulders. Collin looked down, not able to meet Embry's gaze which was so intense and sincere…almost intimidating, Collin wasn't sure he'd be able to take rejection a second time.

"Embry? What…what are you doing here?" Collin asked hesitantly.

Embry swallowed hard as he took in the boy before him. His heart cringed with guilt as he thought of the other night. For three days Embry had hid away from Collin…from everyone. Not wanting anyone to discover the truth of what happened. But in his heart he knew he could not deny what had happened and at this point he didn't want to. For years Embry had noticed Collin and felt an attraction toward him…but growing up the bastard child of the rez..he didn't need to add being gay to the list of things to make the others nag on him. Of course now things were different and being one of the veteran wolves of the La Push pack gave him a type of seniority among the tribe and but it was still hard to not notice how Collin's hair fell just in front of his small eyes, how his cheeks tinted a rosy red when he was nervous and upset, how he had a slight hiccup at the end of his laughter that Embry found incredibly adorable and it was hard not to imagine how Collin's tight and thin smooth body would feel beneath him if he could claim him for himself. All this Embry struggled with and for three days he truly and finally understood what it was to imprint. It was like Collin was inside his body, his mind, his heart and just keeping himself away made him ache inside. Today he knew he had to face this…he had to deal with this.

"Collin….I….I wanted to um…see you." Embry answered darkly. Collin looked back to Embry's dark eyes not knowing how to respond to that.

"Oh…um..is there a patrol going on or something?" Collin assumed.

"No…I…I just wondered if we could talk." Embry almost pleaded.

"About what?"

Embry sighed, stepping closer to the smaller young man in front of him. It took all of his self control to hold his lust and wolf senses from taking over him in that moment as he could practically smell Collin's attraction for him and that made Embry love him all the more.

"Collin, look I'm sorry about the other night." Embry apologized hurriedly as if he had been practicing that line over and over and couldn't wait to get it out. Collin looked down at Embry's bare feet which were splattered with mud. He figured the older man must have just finished running patrols in the downpour.

"It's okay Embry. Just forget about it, I have. But...thanks for coming by and apologizing." Collin assured him as he began to close the door but Embry stomped his foot in-between the door and held against it to keep Collin from shutting it completely.

"Collin….no you haven't. And neither have I." Embry said sincerely.

"_Did he come all this way to throw it up in my face_?" Collin thought to himself and all of a sudden thinking of that and remembering how Jacob hurt Seth made Collin angry.

"Oh yeah, what the hell do you know, huh?" Collin spat out but Embry wasn't fazed. He pushed on the door hard enough for Collin to lose his control and fall back. The door swung open as Collin fell to the ground. In an instant Embry was there, entering the house and kneeling down to hold Collin.

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." Embry apologized. Collin just looked up into those warm and yet dark and sincere eyes and nodded his head.

"It's okay Embry..I…its fine."

"Does it hurt any?" Embry asked.

"No, I'm fine. But you really should watch that super strength of yours, you know." Collin giggled nervously. Embry chuckled as well as both their eyes locked and Embry had to laugh at how nervous Collin was. He felt a slight boost in his confidence and ego to know the effect he had on the younger wolf.

"Here, let's get you to your room. There's something we need to talk about." Embry said gently. He scooped up the younger boy into his arms bridal style as if he weighed nothing at all. Collin almost gasped in shock. His heart was racing at being held so close to Embry. His head was lying against Embry's chest and he could smell Embry's musky and woodsy masculine scent and as much as Collin would hate to admit it, it went straight to his cock. Embry held Collin close as he ascended the stairs, carrying the boy in his arms down the hall and to the bedroom. Collin looked up to Embry curiously, wondering how the older wolf knew where his room was but decided not to ask in fear of shattering the moment.

Upon entering Collin's room, Embry laid the boy down on his soft bed and took in his surroundings. The room was simple enough. It reminded him a bit of a little boy's room who was forced to grow up so early. The bed spread and sheets were new looking but in one corner of the room there was a wooden rocking horse while in the other sat a rocking chair accompanied by a desk with a computer. The walls were covered with tattered posters of various rock bands, a couple that Embry even recognized and he was thrilled to see that they shared similar musical preferences. The room had a very homey and warm feeling that made Embry content and happy just to be there with the boy that he knew he was destined to be with. After setting Collin on his bed, Embry walked over to Collin's desk and pulled over a chair to Collin's bedside; taking a seat and facing Collin with a sincere expression.

"So…what did you need to tell me?" Collin asked nervously not knowing the reason for this visit.

"Collin, there's no easy way to say this but…I….I imprinted Collin." Embry admitted and seeing the look in the older man's eyes, Collin felt his heart drop and his stomach lurch. He knew it. Embry had imprinted on some wonderful girl who was destined to be his mate and he wanted to break the news gently because he knew how much he liked him.

"You…you what?" Collin asked finding it incredibly hard to breathe evenly.

"I imprinted." Embry said again.

"Oh…..uh…..okay. So…um… who is the lucky girl?" Collin asked, forcing a smile on his face. He knew this would be difficult…he knew things wouldn't work out, but he didn't want what happened to Seth and Jacob. He wanted to be strong about this and go on. He had to….even if he knew it would kill him. But Embry was the one whose turn it was to be shocked. Embry's eyes arched into his hair line in confusion and then it dawned on him….

"_He thinks I imprinted on someone else"_ Embry realized.

"What? Collin it's not…." Embry hurried to explain what he meant but Collin spoke over him.

"I'm happy for you Embry…really…" Collin began but he felt such a straining in his throat from trying to hold back tears that threatened to well up. Noticing this, Embry reached forward and grabbed Collin gently by the hand; holding the smaller and paler hand of the younger wolf in his own larger one.

"No Collin, listen to me. It's not some girl okay…..it's you." Embry admitted. With that confession, it seemed as if everything went a deathly quiet. Embry stared into Collin's eyes with love and pleading and Collin sat dumfounded.

"What? Wha...what do you mean?"

"Collin…I imprinted on you." Embry repeated.

"What? But…but how?" Collin asked his heart racing with fear, anticipation and confusion.

"The other night…when you confessed to me…when you told me you cared for me….when I saw the real you….the light inside of the real you that I had been ignoring….it was like everything became clear." Embry explained as he scooted closer to the boy he couldn't stop thinking about…the boy he wanted so badly for himself.

"What are you talking about Embry? This is…crazy. I thought Sam said…I mean the, the council always taught us that wolves imprint in order to find a mate to make the best offspring, to carry on the wolf gene." Collin replied a bit hysterically.

"This doesn't make sense to me either….but I'm sure of it." Embry answered.

"So…what exactly did happen? I mean…..are you sure you imprinted?" Collin asked again scared to get his hopes up. He was excited in his heart and he felt like he would glow from the blush that was creeping into his cheeks but he was also afraid that this was all a mistake and that would be worse.

"Collin..listen to me….when you imprint, you're more certain than you've ever been about anything in your life. The other night…..when we were out on the porch and you said you cared for me…..that's when I...um...I just…I felt this pulling toward you in that one moment…and my want…my inner wolf instincts took over for just a second." Embry answered, his eyes looking intensely into Collin's making the younger man feel somewhat unsure and nervous.

"What do you mean by 'your want'?" Collin pressed, looking away.

"Collin….I….the truth is…..I've always looked at you and…I've always known your name too. I know you think I don't notice you, but I do. I…I always have. But I tried to ignore you the best I could…to hurt you." Embry confessed, slumping his shoulders in guilt as if it weighed down on him like a heavy load. Collin finally looked back to Embry. He stopped for a moment to stare at the man he loved and was somewhat hurt at this confession. He had always thought Embry just didn't notice him but to hear that Embry purposely avoided him hurt terribly.

"Why?" Collin asked shakily. Embry swallowed hard as his guilt weighed on him.

"Because….I would see the way you looked at me out of the corner of your eye. And I knew that you were...um….you know…gay. But I didn't want to be. I couldn't be. It's hard enough being the bastard of the pack, plus being a fagget too. I was just scared…..of what I was, of what I was feeling." Embry explained.

"You were scared of me?" Collin asked, a bit taken aback.

"No! I wasn't scared of you Collin…..I was scared of being tempted…of giving into it." Embry stammered.

"Giving into what?"

"Wanting you." Embry admitted darkly as he looked down, letting go of Collin's hand.

"You…wanted me?"

"Are you kidding me? There wasn't a time when we patrolled or met at a bonfire or pack meeting when my eyes didn't linger on you longer than they should have Collin. I was scared of feeling something for you, a fucking guy on top of that. But how could I not? You're just…..you're so beautiful….you've always been to me. I looked at you even when you were just a little kid and I felt horrible for it so I was relieved when you and your family moved to LA…but the more you were gone the more I thought about you and when you guys moved back I was happy because I got the chance to watch from a distance again but still…..all this time, I just didn't know what it meant. I didn't realize how much I really wanted you for myself." Embry confessed sincerely as he got up from his chair and sat on the bed beside Collin.

Collin looked down at his hands, trying to process all of this new information. He couldn't really believe it himself. _Embry wanted me…all this time?_ But then Collin began wondering..if this is what Embry really wanted.

"I…I don't know how this happened…but I'm sorry Embry. Look….if you want…. I'll stay out of your way. Maybe the imprint will disappear and…." Collin began but Embry quickly cut him off by taking him by the shoulders and forcing the younger wolf to look at him.

"What? What are you talking about? Why are you apologizing?" Embry demanded more than asked.

"Because I know you don't want this…I know you're not gay and…..you don't care for me." Collin said with defeat.

"Of course I give a damn about you! Collin you're my imprint, I'm not going to walk away from that. Look, I don't know what all of this means, but I do know that imprints are fate. Everything happens for a reason, so there is a fucking good reason why fate put us together….cause we belong together!" Embry said sternly, frustrated that Collin wasn't grasping what he was saying.

"But…I don't understand…how could you want…someone like me?" Collin asked keeping his head low and Embry's heart swelled at the sight of Collin looking so fragile and small. He didn't know whether to kiss the boy or smack him on the head.

"How can you even ask me something like that? I've wanted you for the longest time…but I've been too fucking scared of being a fag or being a disappointment to my mom and the pack and the tribe but I…I don't give a shit about all that cause I ran away from you that night out of fear and it nearly ripped me apart. Collin….I don't want to try to be without you. I won't be without you." Embry spoke with conviction. He then stopped to breathe after his tirade and raising his hand to touch Collin's soft check, he began caressing it with the pad of his thumb. "I'm sorry Collin…I know this is a lot….are you okay?"

"I'm….I'm fine I just...this is just a lot, you know? It's a lot to take in. It's not every day you find out the guy of dreams is your imprint too. I just never thought that you could ever feel the same. I just…." Collin didn't know how to explain himself. He felt such a mixture of emotions battling within him as a single tears escaped his eye.

"You've really loved me all this time, haven't you?" Embry asked sadly, feeling guilty for purposely ignoring Collin for so long.

"Yes…but…what does this all mean? I mean….what are we going to do? I don't want to force you into this." Collin expressed, wanting Embry to see that he didn't want this if the older man felt forced to comply with the imprint.

"Oh my god Collin, I told you before; you're not forcing me. I want this. I want you! We both wanted each other, the imprint is just natural….it opened us up so that we could both see it. It's a little scary but…..I've ignored you…hurt you for too long…I told you before, I'm not going to walk away from this." Embry answered.

"But Embry…..what about…what the pack….what about everything that's been going on with Jacob and Seth?" Collin asked nervously.

"Collin…I…I have to apologize to you for that. At the last pack meeting I.…I just didn't want anyone to suspect anything about me or what I felt or what happened between us. I know you saw me agree with others, and I'm sorry. I just…..acted like I agreed with them even though I didn't…and I didn't mean to do that….I'm so sorry. I'm fucking pissed at Jake for what he did to Seth….and I don't want the same for us…I want you to know that I would never hurt you like that…ever." Embry explained. Collin felt his cheeks heat into a blush at the man's apology and he didn't know what to say.

"Embry…it's okay…I know you wouldn't." Collin couldn't help but forgive the man. He knew…he understood and he felt that Embry was not capable of hurting him like Jacob hurt Seth. "Thank you Embry…thank you."

Embry couldn't help himself as he pulled Collin into a tight hug, encircling his arms around the trembling boy.

"I want you to know ….I love you Collin. It took awhile for me to realize it on my own…but I love you. And I want to make this work." Embry whispered into the boy's ear causing him to blush heavily. Collin felt like butterflies were overflowing from within his chest as Embry held him in his arms, the strong and protective arms he had been dreaming about since he first moved back to La Push. Pulling away from each other, they started into each other's eyes, both men smiling and not knowing what to say.

"I love you too." Collin replied gently as both men sat there on the bed holding each other in a warm and loving embrace that seemed to make everything stop around them. Time had no meaning or definition and any outside person or force of no consequence. All that remained was pure, unadulterated affection, care and love for one another…something that had been long over do for the both of them.

"So um…what…uh...I've never been in this kind of situation before. What do we do now?" Collin asked as Embry still held him. Smirking to himself, Embry pulled back enough to see his boy's face but still held him as he pulled him into his lap with ease.

"Well, it would be great if I could kiss you…..for real this time." Embry spoke with a small confident smirk playing on his lips and love in his eyes.

"But I…..I've never kissed before...I….what if I'm bad at it." Collin admitted shyly.

"That's not possible." Embry answered as he fully pulled Collin against him, so tightly that Collin could feel the primal heat of Embry's bare chest against his own clothed body.

Embry kept one hand encircled around Collin's waist while he used his other hand to grab Collin's chin gently and tilt it to his own mouth, bringing their lips together in a tender kiss that made Collin feel like he was glowing. He could feel a rising and pulling in his chest and a swelling force the likes of which he had never felt and he could have sworn that he could see the light of the sun shining behind his closed eyelids as Embry's warm lips massaged his own. Embry's tongue played at Collin's lips, begging for entrance and when Collin submitted and gave in he felt the older wolf take control and drive his tongue into the younger's mouth. Their mouths continued battling for dominance and the passion intensified with every groan and whimper. And in Collin's heart the unseen force grew so great that for just that moment he forgot that they were in his bedroom and he felt like they both were flying through the sky. And as the sensational high reached its boiling point, Collin felt the force connect with something in Embry…and he knew it….they both felt it…Collin had imprinted on Embry as well and the two seals were now tied...unbreakable, unstoppable, unmovable and forever.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTE - Thank you for reading. I hope this was acceptable material for a seven month wait. Keep in mind though this was not the full extent of the plot I had planned for the update, but because I was reaching thirty pages already I decided to just go ahead and post what I had completed. My promises probably don't seem worth much anymore lol but if it helps to know, I recently discovered a new style of writing which I am loving and I am certain will help me update more quickly. The next update is currently in the works and to give you something to think about here's a preview.

CHAPTER 7: Breaking Point

What will happen when Seth finally comes face to face with Jacob and the pack? Will things get messy when an enraged Leah gets involved? And how is she coping with the upcoming wedding? What will happen when Sue confronts her son? Will Brady continue staying quiet about his abusive life with Paul? How will Embry and Collin cope with being together and building a relationship in the midst of this drama? How is Jacob dealing with this and what lies on the horizon for him? And what are these strange dreams that Seth keeps having and what do they mean?


	7. Breaking Point

CHAPTER 7

Collin sat staring at the wall clock for almost the past forty-five minutes. He inwardly sighed, feeling his heartbeat speed up with anticipation. Being a Friday today was the day Embry had promised him that they would go out on their first date. Collin was thoroughly excited at the prospect of getting a chance to be with Embry alone but still felt somewhat apprehensive at the same time. Collin laughed to himself knowing full well it was just his nerves getting the best of him but how could he not be nervous? Embry had been the object of his love and desire since childhood. He had never looked away from the older man, having eyes for only him and now that Embry had finally returned his feelings Collin felt it was all too surreal. Thinking of Embry's gorgeous crooked smile, the way his bronze skin seemed to glisten in the sunlight, and how his muscles contorted with strength and beauty whenever he moved, his deep and mischievous laugh whenever he found something amusing all made Collin's heart swell with adoration and excitement. But Collin knew what really made him tremble at the knees were the times when Embry's gentle but penetrating eyes pierced into his own and made him see the love that the older man had for him; squelching any insecurities or doubts he may have.

Collin glanced at the clock again, seeing it read 5:15pm. Embry was supposed to arrive forty-five minutes ago and his tardiness was causing the wheels in Collin's mind to turn with fear and doubt.

"_What if he doesn't want go out? What if he changed his mind? What if he realized being with me is a mistake? "_ Collin asked himself.

He began to sweat a bit with fear at the mere prospect of Embry not wanting him. He knew it was foolish to think so…after all, Embry had imprinted on him but that was not the justification that neither had clung to. Not trusting of the mysterious power of imprinting as they had seen it destroy lives before, both Embry and Collin relished in the fact that they both loved each other before being bound together by the bond of the imprint and swore to each other that their love was there from the start and would not be defined by simply the binding magic of fate. However neither of them could deny that they felt their destiny and love felt preordained and meant to be because they had imprinted after the fact of confessing to one another. So Collin clung to this hope and confirmation to ease his doubts as he continued to wait by the front door for Embry.

Suddenly Collin heard and obnoxious honking of an outdated truck and his ears perked up as if he were in wolf form. He quickly looked up from his moping and toward the front door window to see Embry's truck followed by the man of his dreams walking toward his door. Collin didn't wait for Embry to make it to the door. He ran outside and met the older man just as he was about to step onto the porch.

"Hey man, you ready to go?" Embry beamed at Collin with a bright smile. Even though they had just spoken to each other yesterday, just seeing the younger man again was like falling in love all over again. Collin's eyes, so innocent and full of life and love for him caused Embry to stretch out his arms and pull the younger man into a tight embrace and he planted a kiss on Collin's lower neck; nipping playfully here and there. Collin blushed profusely as he stifled his giggles. Feeling the younger man's smaller and firm frame in his arms sent Embry's body on fire and his blood southward making him wonder how on earth he managed to keep his hands off of the boy for this many years. And now that he had him, there was no way Embry was letting him go.

"Sorry Collin, I know I'm a little late." Embry apologized. Collin looked up at his boyfriend with playful scrutiny. Embry just chuckled in his signature mischievous way.

"Okay okay, I know I'm a lot late. Sorry, but I just got off work. Long story short, Jake was off spending the day with Bella so I had to close up the shop with Kyle and Wyatt; the worst combination ever." Embry explained. Collin just shook his head dismissively. He was just glad that Embry was here now. Nothing else mattered.

"Embry its fine, I understand. If you're too tired today, we can just do something later. It's cool." Collin encouraged, secretly hoping Embry would not be too exhausted from work. Seeing the younger man's willingness to wait, Embry's heart constricted at the thought of denying the boy his company. He felt guilty for even making it sound as if he didn't want to take him out.

"Dude, I'm not just going to stand you up like that. I want to go out. Besides, you've been waiting on me for years…hell I've been sitting on my fucking ass all these years letting you get away when we could have been together all this time. We're going out and that's final." Embry said in mock authority as he pulled the boy closer to his body, willing Collin to feel his heat and desire to be with him.

"Um…..yes sir." Collin stammered with a nervous smile as Embry smirked at him. Embry led Collin to the truck and opened the door for him like a gentlemen before climbing in himself. When they were both seated in the truck, Embry started up the old rusty vehicle and pulled out of the drive way to make his way out of the rez and into Forks.

"Alright, you ready for a kickass Saturday night; Embry Call style?" Embry asked with a smirk.

"Hey, I need to ask you something." Embry asked, looking away from the road momentarily as he reached into his pocket with his free hand and grabbed a pack of Newport cigarettes from his pocket.

"Do you mind if I…um…." Embry asked a bit sheepishly as he looked over at Collin holding a cigarette to his lighter.

"Oh…I...uh...um…no problem." Collin answered, not really sure why it took him by surprise that Embry smoked. He knew the older wolf was an adult and could do whatever he pleased he just had never seen him smoke before and the visual brought sort of a roughness to Embry's image that Collin hadn't quite expected. No to say it was a terrible image, just a bit jarring when you least expected it.

"Thanks, been itching for one all fucking day. I know I probably shouldn't, working on quitting though." Embry said as he brought the cigarette to his lips and took a long drag, blowing smoke out of the window. He reached out to the car stereo and with a push of a button, the truck was filled with the booming sounds of heavy metal and overdriven bass lines as a guttural scream screeched through the song.

"Damn, I love this song." Embry said as he started to head bag to the beat and noise. Collin giggled to himself. Each time he spent with Embry revealed a new side to the man he had never seen before. Every little quirk, every little smirk, every little habit and hobby of his made Collin fall more and more in love with him every day. When it was just the two of them away from the pack, he saw this free and unencumbered Embry who joked around, played video games, loved heavy metal and dreamed of doing something in life that did not involve the pack. Collin had to admit, he loved this real Embry a lot better than the stoic and reserved persona he kept up around the pack.

"So you like the Savage Wild too?" Collin asked as he snapped out of his daze and immediately recognized the song being performed by one of his personal favorite bands. Embry jerked to look at Collin with a surprised expression.

"How the hell do you know about Savage Wild? You listen to underground indie metal bands?" Embry asked disbelievingly.

"A cousin of mine does and she kind of got me into them."

"Get the fuck out." Embry said with a laugh as he tossed his used cigarette out the window. "You're just full of surprises. Never pegged you as the metal type." Embry said with a genuine smile. Embry too was forever amazed at how much he was beginning to learn about the younger boy he was now in a relationship with even though they both agreed to take things slow.

"Well I can't play anything to save my life but I love all kinds of music." Collin said happily, with wind from the windows making his bangs blow into his eyes and Embry turned his head from the road just in time to catch a glimpse of his boyfriend, deciding that was the sexiest thing he had ever seen.

"Really? You know, I got a band myself." Embry stated with a bit of pride. Collin's eyes went wide with excitement and curiosity.

"Oh my gosh, really?" Collin asked. Embry laughed lightly at Collin's enthusiasm.

"Yeah. Our name is Touché. We've been together for only a year now. We don't do much, just get together and rock out a bit, but we're trying to get serious. We've been trying to get a gig up in Port Angeles."

"Oh my gosh! I can't believe it, that's so cool. But how come you never told me before? Does the pack know?" Collin asked.

"Nah. The pack would just give me grief about it. So do me a favor and keep it under your hat. It'll be our little secret." Embry responded with a mischievous smile.

"I promise, I won't tell anyone but I wish I could hear you guys play." Collin replied.

"Well, we're trying to get a demo together. If you want, you can come to one of our jam sessions. We have them at our drummer's house in Forks because his parents are never home and we get pretty loud." Embry laughed, thinking on just how tragically obscene and loud their music sessions went at times. But he didn't care. His heart swelled at the fact that Collin had taken such an enthusiastic interest in wanting to hear his band play. It made him feel like someone loved him beyond the wolf, beyond the protector of the tribe but for himself. Of course Embry knew he should never doubt that when it came to Collin; seeing as the younger man had wished for years just to get a chance to spend time with Embry. Embry smiled to himself knowing he would give Collin all that and more. But not just as a friend, but the man of Collin's dreams.

* * *

"Machete?" Collin questioned with apprehension as they walked up to the box office of the local Cineplex they had traveled to in Forks. Embry however did not pick up on the anxiety in Collin's voice as he was preoccupied by his own giddiness and excitement at buying their tickets for the movie.

"Fuck yeah. I've wanted to see this movie forever; just haven't had the time." Embry said as he took the tickets from the teller behind the window. As he walked up beside Collin, he laid his hand on the small of the younger man's man back; leading him through the double doors of the movie. The gesture made Collin's knees weak at being shown this protective and side of Embry. But his mind flashed back to the horrific poster he saw at the front entrance of a dirty claw holding a long bladed weapon that was dripping with blood. Collin hated horror films.

"But...isn't it…rated R?" Collin asked.

"If it wasn't, I wouldn't waste my time with it." Embry responded as they made their way through the crowded lobby. Being a Saturday night, the Cineplex was flooded with the usual mob of teenagers and young people eager to escape the daily in and out routines of rainy days and school. Embry kept his arm protectively around Collin's shoulder, knowing that they were garnering starts; some questioning, some curious and others envious. He relished in the fact that he finally had someone to call his own that others wanted so badly even though he knew Collin would never admit to being desired.

After grabbing popcorn and drinks for snacks at the concession stand, Embry and Collin made their way to the designated dark theatre that was playing the horror movie they had set out to watch. As they filed into their seats, Embry leaned into Collin's ear to whisper.

"So, you scared?" the older man teased.

"Of what? Oh the movie? Um no of course not." Collin stammered, however there was something the younger man did feel curious about.

"What about you? Aren't you scared of being…seen with m…I mean...being with me in public like this?" Collin asked. He wanted to know, even though he was afraid of the answer he might receive. Embry turned from the screen and looked to Collin as the realization of the younger man's insecurities hit him.

"Are you?" Embry countered.

"No of course not Embry. I don't care. I love you…as long as I'm with you, I don't give a shit what other people think." Collin answered, causing Embry to chuckle at his attempt at being brash.

"Wow, so the little pup can curse huh? Look Collin, I don't care either. I mean…I kind of did at first…when I first realized I imprinted on you but….after I realized that you were more important to me than what the pack thought, or my family or tribe thought…that's when I decided I don't give a fuck what anyone has to say." Embry answered, reaching back and putting his arm around Collin to show him he didn't care if people were watching or saw them.

"Really?" Collin asked. Embry kissed him playfully o the check in response, smiling widely at his boyfriend.

"Really really. You're my boy now, so stop worrying and let's just enjoy being together, okay?" Embry said.

"Okay." Collin smiled back as the movie began.

The movie went on for about an hour but Collin wasn't fairing too well. Embry on the other hand was enjoying the horror flick as he loved a good scary movie every now and then. But out of the corner of his eye he would see Collin cover his eyes every few minutes or hide his face by burying it in Embry's chest. Embry thought it was merely cute at first but as time went on he begin to worry if maybe Collin was really frightened.

"Hey, do you want to get out of here?" Embry whispered in his ear.

"um….Please?" Collin begged. Embry ruffled his hair with a smile and pulled the younger man up, leading him out of the theater.

"I'm sorry Embry. I….I just get bothered by things like that and…I don't know…I just….I'm sorry I'm a chicken." Collin apologized miserably as soon as they got to the parking lot. Embry didn't understand why Collin was apologizing though. He had nothing to be sorry about. Especially since Embry realized he should have asked Collin what movie he wanted to see before just deicing that a horror flick would be suitable for a first date movie.

"It's okay Collin, you're not a chicken. You're barely seventeen and already you've had to face blood thirsty leeches every day since you became a wolf. You're a lot braver then a lot of people. And besides, everybody is scared of something. So don't apologize. It's my own fault." Embry explained as they got into his truck. They just sat there in the darkness for what seemed like awhile as the passing car lights form the street illuminated the truck interior.

"You're not….afraid of the anything that is/" Collin said, breaking the silence.

"Well….let's just say…now that I got you, there's one fear down the drain." Embry laugh. This peaked the younger man's interest and he turned to Embry in surprise.

"You were afraid of me?" he asked. Embry sighed.

"Not of you technically...but...of what you do to me...the feelings that you awoke within me…but that was just me being stupid and a coward. Because the worst fear was thinking that it would never happen…that we would never…be together...like this." Embry clarified as he thought back on just how horrible the prospect of living life without Collin was.

"Thank God for imprinting I guess." Collin laughed lightly. Embry took a hold of his hand and squeezed it hard.

"Don't think like that. I don't…I don't want you thinking that I'm only here for the imprint. I fucking love you Collin…I have for years. It just kills me that you've felt this way too and I've ignored you. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't have made a move eventually when I felt the time was right…I guess the imprint and fate thought now was the right time to give me the courage to do something other than sit by and watch you from a distance." Embry confessed. They both smiled at each other before a loud growling noise could be heard. Collin looked down at his stomach and as he looked up to meet Embry's gaze they both broke into a fit of laugher.

"You hungry huh?" Embry asked cheerfully.

"Kind of." Collin said.

"Well then, let's get my pup fed." Embry replied as he started up the truck and pulled out of the parking light.

* * *

"He said he wants the number one, can I have the same, and both combos with cokes and two apple pies please?" Collin said excitedly to the cashier who was ringing in his order. The young girl who looked to be no older than seventeen blinked slowly a few times as if she were lost. However truly she was struggling to keep up with Collin who tended to talk a mile a minute when he was excited about something.

"Um…..Sure….uh...yeah." The girl said as she hurried to put in the order. Collin merely stood waiting with a smile on his face. Beside him, stood Embry who wore a sour look of contempt on his face. After the movie failed Embry and Collin had set out to go for a nice dinner at a real restaurant until Embry realized that he didn't get paid until the day after tomorrow and he was already leaning on his last few dollars. To say he was utterly humiliated was an understatement. Collin encouraged the older wolf, saying it was no big deal and that he had enough change to buy his own dinner. But to Embry, being the older one he felt it right for him to pay and take care of Collin and the fact that he couldn't was embarrassing. They decided a simple stop at the nearest McDonalds would suffice. Collin was happy as a child at Christmas time. Embry however was still beating himself up.

"This is fucking pathetic." Embry muttered with boredom. Collin looked up to Embry curiously.

"Embry? What's wrong?" Collin asked with concern. Embry looked around the cheap fast food place and rolled his eyes.

"I should be able to take you somewhere nice, not fucking McDonalds'." Embry huffed. He wasn't trying to be snappy or rude to the younger man, he was upset with himself. Upset that he couldn't take care of the boy of his dreams like he wanted to. But he already didn't make enough money working at the garage and his mother's medical bills were not cheap. Collin knew this and tried to express to Embry that he understood and that it was not a big deal.

"What's wrong with McDonalds'?" Collin asked with a cheerful smile, trying to lighten the mood.

"Collin, this is our first date, we shouldn't be slumming it at a fast food joint. Collin…I'm sorry about all this." Embry said with a deep sigh as they waited in line for their orders to be filled.

"You two are on a first date?" the voice of the young girl at the register inquired. Embry and Collin looked away from each other back at her both wearing different expressions. Collin's was one of a deer caught in the headlights while Embry's face was that of aggravation; annoyed that the girl was interrupting them and getting in their business. He wrapped his arm around Collin's shoulders and drew the younger man as close as he could.

"Yes! Do you have a problem with that?" Embry snapped out at the girl, whose eyebrows shot up into her hair line. She immediately whispered an apology before disappearing and reappearing with their food. In attempt to diffuse the tense and awkward situation, Collin grabbed the tray of food and made a mad dash for it hoping Embry was following behind him.

As they sat down at a booth, Collin began to dig into his food immediately. Despite his age of seventeen, Collin was one of the shortest and smallest wolves next to Seth and Brady. Even the younger wolves Wyatt, Nathan and Trent were bigger than them. But that didn't mean Collin couldn't eat his fair share of food. When he was hungry, he made short work of anything he could get in his mouth.

"Embry are you sure you're okay?" Collin asked as he took a bite of his burger. Embry had been eating just as enthusiastically but seemed to have a permanent scowl on his face. Swallowing his food, Collin watched Embry look up from his food at him and smile sheepishly.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Embry answered. "It's just…I really wanted to take you somewhere nice. Jake's always taking Bella nice places and...I'm the older one here...I want to take care of you and treat you well without feeling like I'm too poor to do so." Embry explained seriously.

"Embry, I don't care about any of that kind of stuff. You're not obligated to do for me. Just the fact that I'm with you is more than enough for me…more than I ever dreamed possible. Plus, it's not like you don't have other financial responsibilities; like your mother and taking care of her. I understand all that and I don't care that you don't have a lot of money. As long as I'm with you, I don't care. Besides, maybe sometimes I can treat you with my money….well…the little allowance that I do have." Collin replied with sincerity. Embry looked into Collin's warm light eyes and it was like falling in love with the boy for the first time from hearing him say those loving and encouraging words to him.

"You know what, you're amazing." Embry said in a deep chuckle as he felt around under table for Collin, placing his foot over the younger wolf's own foot intimately. Collin blushed heavily and choked on his words.

"Um…r...really?" Collin asked. Embry smirked at him as he took another bite of his burger.

"But next time I'm definitely taking you somewhere really nice." Embry assured Collin in a decisive tone.

"Well, bright side is the movie was okay…..well…if you don't count the unfiltered gore." Collin replied trying to shake his nerves and continue the conversation which caused Embry to laugh.

"Sorry about that movie." The older man chuckled as he took a sip of his drink."I kind of wasn't thinking and thought it would be fun to see. We should have just watched something else."

"Embry, its fine. I had fun, really." Collin assured him.

"Geeze, the night barely got started and I've already fucked up royally, huh?" Embry asked.

"No Embry, really. Everything's fine. I'm having a good time."

"You're eyes…they're really light brown." Embry said taking note of how the street lights from the restaurant window reflected into Collin's eyes. Every moment they spent together Embry made it a point to study as much of Collin as he could and each time he found himself discovering something new that made him love the boy even more.

"Huh?" Collin asked

"You're eyes…the brown? I never noticed it before…..I mean…I noticed it when I imprinted on you the first time and all but…I didn't notice how they catch the light all the time like that." Embry responded.

"Oh…um…yeah…" Collin stuttered.

"It's really beautiful." Embry said with a smile. Their eyes met and it was as if they could feel the pull to be closet, to touch each other in any way possible. Since they sat across from each other at a booth, Embry extended his legs to entrap Collin's smaller ones. The heat from their bodies radiating and enveloping one another even in the public place.

"Thanks Embry."

The two happily finished their meals as they talked and chatted about what they had been up to since they last saw each other a few days ago. Since Embry had imprinted on him, Collin had been practicing keeping his thoughts to himself while in wolf form because not only were they harboring the secret of their relationship but also the secret of Seth hiding out at home. Being Seth's best friend, Collin made sure to keep tabs on him. Caring for Seth as well, Embry did the same; both going over to see how the depressed young wolf was doing whenever they had down time from their patrols. The two made it a habit for the past week to check in on Seth in the wee hours of the night when they were sure not to run into the other pack members. But whisperings of the pack's and the council's reactions to Seth's actions had begun to worry Embry and he soon convinced Collin to stay at home for a few days just to be on the safe side until everything blew over. Embry couldn't risk the pack discovering them and he couldn't risk them discovering that both he and Collin were keeping tabs on Seth as to warn him if the pack was coming for him.

"So did you talk to Seth last night?" Embry asked.

"Yeah, he's doing okay. He sleeps through the day mostly." Collin laughed at the thought of Seth too lazy to get out of bed but he knew the reason was because of his depression. Embry nodded.

"Is he…still having those nightmares?" Embry asked, remembering what Seth and Collin had discussed one night while over the phone. Looking up, he saw Collin nod his head solemnly.

"The one about the hooves? Yeah, he is. I'm getting a bit worried about that because he says its been happening ever since Jacob rejected him and they intensify every night." Collin replied thinking back to what Seth had been telling him over the phone; describing disturbing images that had been coming up inside his dreams ever since that awful day when he had confessed to Jacob.

"What exactly is it? The dream that is." Embry asked.

"I'm not even sure exactly. He says every night he feels himself in the woods alone. Then he sees these…hooves walking on the forest ground, coming after him. Its like..some person or creature with…actual hooves instead of feet. Then he wakes up but he hears the hooves clicking as the hit the hardwood floor of the hall outside his bedroom. He said it leaves him scared to even leave his room in the middle o the night." Collin answered, feeling a bit disturbed himself.

"We should go see him tonight. It's been a couple of days." Embry suggested.

"You're right." Collin nodded in agreement. "But also I'm worried about how long the pack thinks I've been …sick, well according to you." Collins said playfully. Embry had come up with the lie that Collin was ill with fever and that he would be staying with the younger man and his family to help care for him. This created a suitable alibi for keeping Collin away from the pack while he figured out what to do next.

"Sorry about that Collin. I just don't want to risk you accidently spilling the beans when our minds are linked as wolves." Embry said. "I'm not sure what Jake and the pack have planned since the council got involved. But I'm trying to protect both you and Seth here and I'm not quite sure I can."

"Embry I appreciate that but you don't have to protect me…we can protect each other." Collin answered. But before Embry could respond, a familiar high pitched feminine voice interrupted them.

"Hi. Did you guys need any refills on your drinks?" The girl asked. It was the same one from the register that had asked if they were on a date together. After the way Embry had snapped on her, Collin was surprised to see she had the courage to come back and face him again.

"No thanks, we're fine." Embry said calmly. But he noticed the girl was asking him as her eyes did not leave his at all. He looked to Collin who nervously smiled; signaling that he noticed. The girl's face looked crestfallen as she left the table and went to the next guests.

"She was trying to flirt with you." Collin stated with a soft smile.

"Was she now?" Embry played dumb.

"She may have addressed us both but she never broke eye contact with you." Collin clarified. Embry chuckled at Collin's insecure nature but he needn't have bothered. Embry only had eyes for one person now.

"Well…she's alright, but I already have what I've been waiting for." Embry responded, making Collin smile timidly.

"I know we're together now and I didn't want to bring this up before…but…what ever happened to your ex-girlfriend? I thought you guys were always on again and off again." Collin asked Embry. The thought had been plaguing his mind for some time especially since Embry and he started dating officially. But he knew that he had saw Embry with her more than a few times just before the older man imprinted on him so he always wondered did Embry just dump her as soon as he imprinted?

"You mean Monica?" Embry asked a bit taken aback. He wasn't upset and Embry knew that his past rendezvous with one of the rez sluts would come back to bite him in the ass but was more worried about just how much information Collin knew. Working in a pack with a bunch of gossipy big mouthed wolves could definitely have its drawbacks. Nothing was private or sacred.

"I guess that was her name. They said you two were really serious and that one time there was….What the heck, I shouldn't be saying this…it's none of my business." Collin confessed nervously.

"Collin, you're my…I guess you're what they would call my boyfriend. My business is your business." Embry assured him as he reached across the table and grabbed Collin's hand, stroking the top of it with his thumb. "So when you say they…you mean the pack? What exactly did the Pack say?"

"Oh it's nothing; the pack just said how you two used to be serious. They were all kind of talking about it that time you two went in the house at one of the pack dinners and didn't come out for awhile…..but actually Paul was the one who brought it up and said that now you just use her…um...well you…know…for sex and I know you wouldn't do that behind my back now we're together but it's just...I wondered um…I'm sorry." Collin apologized.

"Stop apologizing to me okay, you have a right to know these things Collin. I clearly remember the night you're talking about and I can assure you that Monica and I didn't go into the house to fuck or anything like that. We were arguing." Embry explained.

"About what? I mean...if you don't mind me asking?" Collin went on.

"The truth is she wanted to speed things up and I wasn't even sure I was in love with her" Embry said as he thought back to the beautiful yet promiscuous girl he tried to force himself to love. Thinking back on it, it was ironic how she was the one who ended up falling in love with him. Embry sighed as he continued to explain. "Look don't get me wrong, we did care about each other a lot and we did become intimate sometimes but…I just wasn't…I couldn't …my heart just wasn't in the relationship. I had my eye on someone else."

"Who?"

"Do you really need to ask that?" Embry said with a knowing smile. It finally hit Collin who he was talking about and the young man wished he had known this the entire time. _"Embry had been looking at me the entire time?" _Collin thought to himself.

"Long story short, she had been around the block a few times if you get what I mean. But deep down she wanted what a lot of the rez girls wanted, hurry up and get married, have babies and just settle down in a small place on the rez. I couldn't blame her for that….I just didn't want that with her. I wanted to be with you too much and I guess I might have...used her as a distraction when I felt like things would never happen between us." Embry confessed as he looked down. He knew it was wrong to do that to the girl but she had not been too guiltless either and the fact that they both used each other for some time before she ultimately fell in love with him was unfortunate. Because Embry knew he could never completely give himself to her, not when his heart was held by another.

"Did she ever…find out?" Collin asked.

"About my reasons?" Embry replied. "Hell yeah she did. Women are smart as shit, I'll give them that but…after awhile she wasn't upset and we stayed friends after we split up…she even made me promise to introduce her to you if we got together since she never knew it was you. She'll be surprised I bet...or not." Embry chuckled. The fact that things were not as bleak as how Collin once thought made him laugh as well. It's amazing what you learn when you simply ask someone rather than go crazy speculating.

"Wow….I didn't know all that…..I'm…I shouldn't have assumed. I wasn't trying to make it sound like you sleep around or anything." Collin apologized but Embry just waved if off with a smile.

"Collin, it's okay, really. I told you stop apologizing. Look, I don't know what the pack says, but ignore them. Half the time they're worse than girls, always gossiping about this or that and blowing things out of proportion. I know for a fact that Quil, Jared and Paul are always trying to make me out to sound like some player like them but I'm not. "

"I know you're not…" Collin assured the older man. "I guess this whole time I was just…kind of nervous…I've loved you…wanted this to happen for so long but it's still new to me because this is the first time I get the chance to know you and I didn't know what to expect…but I didn't want you to lose interest in me if I…"

"Collin…you…you were afraid that I wanted to have sex and I would lose interest if you weren't ready to put out." Embry finished his thought.

"Embry, it's not just that…I…I'm not like a lot of people. I'm kind of lame. No one's ever loved me…or…looked at me in that way…so….that's why I'm still a virgin." Collin admitted shamefully as he dropped his gaze away from Embry's in embarrassment.

"Collin, listen to me right now okay because you need to get this through your thick head. Being a virgin doesn't make you weird or strange. And it certainly doesn't mean you're unloved and unwanted. That just means you've held yourself because you haven't found the right one to be with. That's nothing to be ashamed of. And let me tell you something else, you being a virgin doesn't make you any less desirable to me or anyone else." Embry assured the younger man, holding his hand tightly. Collin looked up to meet the older man's eyes and timidly smiled at the love he saw there. To Embry, it was cute and adorable how Collin thought he was undesirable just because he was brand new to intimate experiences but that made him all the more beautiful to Embry. He loved the fact that he would be the boys first and last.

"Really?" Collin asked with uncertainty.

"Yes really. Do you even realize how fucking sexy you are? Look, if you want honesty then here it is. Do you know how fucking hard it is to conceal a hard on when I'm in wolf form? That's what you do to me every time I think of you. Just watching you drink that soda is turning me on and you're not even trying. Plus, you think that no one sees you…well let's just say I'm not the only one around here who's fantasized about bending you over." Embry said in a dark husky tone, giving Collin goose bumps. Embry chuckled deeply at the boy's reaction.

"Oh gosh it's hot in here." Collin said trying to fain ignorance at Embry's flirting.

"Collin, if anything, I'm glad you held yourself and waited….kind of makes me wish I had held myself too." Embry confessed.

"Embry, I don't care about all that. It doesn't matter to me…." Collin tried to say but Embry interrupted him with a hand held up.

"Please let me finish. I'm no virgin whatsoever but now that we're together…makes me wish I still was because I want our first time together to be special. Don't get me wrong, most of my sex dreams and fantasies involve fucking the living daylights out of you, but that's just it. If I just wanted sex from you, I would have tried to rape you years ago but I don't want to screw this up. I want to make this work Collin." Embry said.

"Embry, I want to make this work too. I guess I was scared that if I didn't put out…or if I was bad at it that it would make you reconsider being with me. I have to stop assuming things, I'm really sorry. I just wanted you to know that….if you did want to do something…it's okay with me. I wouldn't say no. I'm not trying to sound easy or anything… I just love you a lot Embry and I've wanted you...I've wanted this for so long and I'm ready for it when …if it does happen. " Collin admitted.

"You're really too cute sometimes, you know that. And don't you worry, it will definitely happen. But like I said before, I don't want to rush this. You mean the world to me Collin…you always have. It just took the imprint to slap me awake and realize it. I want to do this the right way and take it slow. Take you out, treat you the way you deserve to be treated and get to know all the little things about you...from your highs to your lows. We have our whole lives to get this thing right, no reason why we should rush." Embry spoke.

Collin felt like tears were going to sting his eyes at any moment because of how happy he was. He could never have imagined his dreams could come true like this, but they had.

"Thanks Embry…for…just for everything. Sometimes I feel like you could have chosen anyone you wanted…but you chose me, and I don't know why but…I'm so happy and grateful." Collin replied feeling so much happiness in his heart it felt like he would explode from inside out.

"My God, Collin baby I wanted you from the beginning….fate chose us…as fucking corny as that sounds it's true. I'm the lucky one here." Embry said as he stood up to take Collin's hand. He didn't care that some people were nosy and could have been staring at them. He couldn't care anyhow. He was too consumed with his love for the boy that he would give his life jut to be with for one day.

"Come on. Let's get going. There's still one more thing I want us to do tonight." Embry said as he and Collin walked out of the restaurant hand in hand and made their way back to his truck and into the night.

* * *

Embry drove with one hand on the wheel, his other around Collin; his love and imprint. They both couldn't help the happy and content smiles plastered on their faces as they made their way back to La Push. Although the night brought many unexpected failures, it was still perfect for the both of them.

"So where are we going?" Collin asked, lifting his head from Embry's shoulder to look at him.

"Down to the beach. I figured we could pitch a tent up and spend the night out under the stars." Embry said ruffling Collin's hair like a little kid.

"Oh my gosh, really? That's so awesome! And it's so romantic too! I love you Embry!" Collin gushed as he hugged Embry tightly.

"I love you more Collin." Embry said as he ushered his arm around Collin to hug him tighter while he drove. But suddenly, Embry felt a chill run down his spine. It was an all too familiar sensation that caused the hairs on his neck to prickle. His hackles rose signifying the pack was phased…all of them. And not only that, he could sense their tension...their rage. It was a minuscule but effective ability possessed by the shape shifters. After being shifters for a certain period of time, their senses grew to the point where even in their human form they could sense if their fellow pack mates were phased and on the prowl.

"Wait! Did you feel that?" Embry asked in a dark tone. Collin looked at him questioningly.

"Feel what?" he asked.

"You know that feeling when you're skin crawls, your hairs rise and it feels like you are consumed with rage other than your own? The pack…they are out on the prowl. In wolf form." Embry said. "Is…Is there a pack meeting tonight? I don't remember anyone saying anything."

"I don't know if there is or not since I've been playing hooky from the pack but I know what you mean…I can feel it too. They're definitely in wolf form." Collin answered nervously as he looked to Embry anxiously. "Oh god….you don't think…they got to Seth do you?"

"Oh shit. Hold on, we got to take a detour." Embry said darkly as he took the nearest exit off the road and began a new route through the wooded streets of La Push.

"Why? What's wrong?" Collin asked in a panic. Embry shifted nervously in his seat as he ran a hand through his short hair.

"Look, I've got to take you to my place. You're staying with me tonight." Embry said with finality, never taking his eyes off the road as he sped up.

"What? Embry, what's going on! There's a pack meeting, I have to go stop Seth from getting hurt! That's what this is about isn't it?" Collin cried. Embry shot Collin a panic look.

"No! You can't! Look Collin, don't worry. Seth's my friend too and I'm going to protect him. But I need to make sure you're safe first. If the pack finds out about us…if you get hurt...I'll never forgive myself and I'll fucking kill the pack. I need you to stay at my place until I come back." Embry shouted.

"Embry? What's going on? What's the pack going to do to Seth?" Collin demanded to know. Neither of them were angry at each other despite their shouting. They were afraid for Seth, for they knew somehow that them not knowing about the pack meeting wasn't coincidental. Someone knew they were protecting Seth and allowed Embry and Collin to be absent so they could corner Seth.

"Look Collin, the structure of our culture is built on imprinting and procreating. The elders and the pack….look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you all this. I tried to keep you from learning about what the pack was talking about because I didn't want you to worry. I told myself I would just handle it and try to persuade them from their decision but Jake's really taken this thing between Seth and himself seriously. The council even got involved. Seth's being looked at as a traitor for going against what they call the natural way…somehow things got blown up out of proportion and Seth is seen as trying to make Jake imprint on him, breaking the natural order of things. He's not just a fag to them…but a traitor." Embry explained.

"Why...what? How….WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ALL THIS!" Collin asked.

"DAMN IT I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT YOU! IF THEY FUCKING FIND OUT ABOUT US THEN WE'LL BE NEXT! YOU WANT TO BE EX-COMMUNICATED TOO?" Embry shouted back at Collin. Collin hadn't meant to shout either but when Embry did so he never thought it could sound so harsh and reprimanding. He felt like a little pup whose elder brother had just spanked him and his eyes began to water.

"Embry…I'm…I'm sorry….I know you're just trying to…I'm just worried about Seth…." Collin said, trying to sniff without being heard as he turned away from Embry. Embry seeing this felt guilty for raising his voice. He was merely trying to get his point across, not hurt Collin. He reached over and pulled Collin closer to him.

"Come here babe." Embry spoke tenderly as Collin hugged him tightly. He continued to drive with one hand, using the other arm to encircle Collin as the younger shed silent tears on his shoulder. "I'm sorry for yelling baby; I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I'm sorry too Embry, I'm just….scared for Seth. I can't let you go off on your own either." Collin pointed out.

After driving maniacally for another five minutes Embry pulled the truck up to a small house with chipped painting and red brick. Collin had seen the house before when he used to follow Embry when they were kids.

"Collin, I need to make sure you're safe. If I'm not sure of your safety then I won't be able to focus and do what it is I need to do. Please, just promise me you'll stay put until I come back."

"Okay, I promise."

Very soon, they saw the front door open and a short but beautiful woman wearing her long raven hair in a ponytail standing in the door way. She made her way down the porch steps with worry in her set in her wise eyes.

"What's going on? I heard you pull up so suddenly." She asked.

"Hey mom, yeah everything's fine." Embry responded as he and Collin got out of the truck. Collin realized this must be Embry's mother, Miss Call. He had never met her officially but now that he saw her face to face he wondered about her age. She looked no older than forty although her hair showed some streaks of gray; however he chalked that up to her ill state. He looked shyly from her, not knowing what to say to introduce himself but he didn't have to worry about that soon enough as Miss Call smiled warmly at him.

"Oh you must be that sweet boy my son's been in love with forever. Collin, is it?" Miss Call asked.

"Um...uh...y...yes mam." Collin nodded his head timidly. She reached over and embraced him in a warm hug and Collin felt like tears would come to his eyes t the motherly and nurturing touch; reminding him of his own long dead mother.

"Oh please, just call me mom since I gather you're going to be my son in law before long. Embry, you didn't tell me just how cute he is." Miss Call said excitedly to her son. Embry sighed with satisfaction as he ruffled Collin's hair affectionately.

"That he is. Look mom, I've got to go…pack business…..Collin needs to stay here tonight, I need to make sure he's safe." Embry said. Miss Call's face turned serious instantly, knowing full well what her son had to do.

"Oh no problem sweetie. I'll take care of Collin. Is everything okay?" she asked. Embry nodded.

"It will be. I'll make sure of it. Don't wait up okay."

"Be careful honey." Miss Call replied. Turning from her, Embry took Collin by the waist and pulled him in for a hug. Collin encircled his arms around the older man's neck as their lips met in a deep and warm kiss. It was quick, but intimate and spoke volumes of the emotions they both had but couldn't express in this dire situation.

"I love you." Embry whispered into Collin's ear.

"I love you too...please Embry, come back as soon as possible." Collin whispered back as he let go of him. Before Collin could shed a tear, Embry turned from him and ran to this truck, pulling out of the driveway and speeding off into the night.

Miss Call led Collin to the small house that was the Call residence. Upon entering Collin noticed the interior was decorated very plainly but with some modern furnishings mixed with tribal accents. There was a faint smell of sage and sandalwood that seemed to permeate throughout the entire house giving it a rustic and yet cozy feeling. He followed her through into the kitchen where she set about pulling out a teapot in order to brew some tea for them to relax and enjoy. But Collin gravitated toward the window overlooking the front yard where he stared at the passing road that Embry had drove down. He couldn't be calm when he knew Embry was out there.

"You remind me a bit of myself when Embry first became a wolf." Miss Call said warmly as she watched him.

"Oh...um…..oh…." Collin stuttered not knowing what she meant.

"Don't feel embarrassed hun. I would stand at that window when he would run off for hours…sometimes even days at a time. He was always so secretive about his wolf life. Never wanting to involve me out of fear of endangering me. He works really hard to protect the ones he loves…sometimes he works too hard." Miss Call confessed. Collin nodded his head in agreement.

"He really does. Sometimes I feel it's unfair with everything he has to go through and do on his own."

"Oh but he's not alone. He has the love of a wonderful and beautiful boy whom I have the privilege of getting to know now." She replied, making Collin realize she was referring to him and he put his head down bashfully.

"Oh…I...um...thank you." He replied.

"Sweetie don't be nervous. I am fully aware of the nature of your relationship with my son and I promise you, I couldn't be happier. I'm just glad to see him actually smile once in awhile now. Besides, love is love. It does matter the gender, not to me anyway." Miss Call explained with a warm motherly smile that caused her eyes to wrinkle slightly at the sides. Looking closer, Collin could see these were not wrinkles of age but of laughter. After all, Miss Call was still a very attractive woman for her age and condition.

"Thank you Ms. Call…..I just wish…everyone could see it that way." Collin said thinking on Seth's predicament and the uncertainty of his and Embry's relationship should they be discovered.

"Oh honey, I'm not like the rest of the hypocrites on this rez…but just give it time. Besides, you have the love of a man that from what I can tell you have loved for a long time now. That's all that matters, and as long as you two stick together you'll be just fine." Miss Call assured the younger man as she held his hands in her own, wiling him to believe in her words.

"I don't know what to say." Collin spoke quietly. Miss Call pulled him close as if he were her very own son and the young wolf felt so much love and protection radiating off of her, just like how a mother should be.

"No need to say anything honey. And again, you can just call me mom if you like. After all, you're pretty much my son in law now. Now dry those tears and come on. I'll show you up to the bathroom where you can have a hot shower and then just go to Embry's room and pick out some pajamas from his closet. The best way to wait up for your loved ones is to just let them do what they need to do and go to sleep." Miss Call assured Collin.

"Thank you so much." Collin replied as Miss Call released him from the hug.

"Embry's room is upstairs. If you need me honey, my room is on the first floor. And by the way, if Embry comes back and wakes you up please remind my son that we currently can't afford to raise any little pups so make him wear a condom." Miss Call said with a playful smile before disappearing down the hall. Collin was flabbergasted as he was left staring after her with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. He was shocked to say the least that Embry's mother could speak about that so casually. As he made his way upstairs to Embry's room, Collin made a mental note to not have sex with Embry under any circumstance while Miss Call was in the house. After their little exchange merely a few minutes ago, it would just be way too awkward.

* * *

The fire pit roared with a vengeance as it burned in the center of the forest clearing. Whispers and idle conversations were made as gigantic beasts that had prowled the woods shrank into human form; making their way to the clearing and joining the pack circle. These were the shape shifter wolves of La Push. Forever vigilant, forever diligent they were. And on this night, like many others before; they convened to this spot to discuss issues of importance that could not only affect the pack but the tribe and their people as a whole. From miles around the wolves of La Push fled from their homes, ripping the clothing from their bodies to phase into enormous wolves that were built to kill cold ones and any threats to their land and people. Some had been waiting at the clearing for quite awhile, others slowly began to file in as they gathered together for another pack meeting.

But unlike other pack meetings, tonight's congregation was called out of disparity and outrage at the recent chaos that had ensued in the aftermath of Seth's confession to Jacob. What had started out as a private matter between Jacob and Seth had become anything but in the past week. In his rage, disgust and confusion, Jacob had revealed to the pack what happened who all seemed to share his feelings of homophobic animosity. However this was not merely a matter of prejudice but a breaking of century's old traditions, traditions that were built on the fundamentals of family, community, imprinting, marriage and the eventual conception of the next generation to forever carry on the line. But how could one carry on these conservative and ancient traditions if one was homosexual? To be so would be like a disease within the pack, hindering it from prospering and it was because of this that the pack had turned to the council of elders and the Quileute people who all agreed that Seth's act in professing love for Jacob was a disgusting betrayal to the ways in which they were taught. And although Embry and Collin did their best to keep Seth at bay and hidden away from the pack out of fear for what they would do, tonight the pack and the elders had decided once and for all that Seth had to be dealt with.

"You guys know why we're here, right?" Sam spoke, commanding the attention of the pack where twelve beautifully russet-skinned native men stood. Around the fire pit stood several of the core veteran members, Sam, Paul, Jared and Quil followed by the newer wolves who were close in age to the veterans; Michael and Logan followed by Trent and Nathan, two of the youngest wolves. Off to the side stood Elijah, just a little older than Sam even though he had only first phased around the time the younger ones did. They all were whispering and speaking amongst themselves but began to quiet as Sam made his way to the center of the circle.

"Is there any other reason to call a pack meeting in the first place?" Paul said with agitation.

"Is this meeting about those damn nomads again? I thought we cleared off the land up to the borderlines." Jared piped in, agitated at being summoned. Quil who stood beside him merely shrugged with indifference.

"Look guys, doesn't matter to me one way or another. I've actually been itching for a kill." Quil said with a yawn, stretching out his muscles.

"Hey guys, put a lid on it. Jacob will be here in a minute alright." Sam ordered which simmered everyone back down.

"Wait, aren't some of us missing? Shouldn't we wait for them?" Michael asked. Indeed some members were missing. Embry and Collin were missing due to Embry having reported to Sam that Collin hadn't been feeling well all week therefore Embry had taken it upon himself to help out the younger wolf's family and take care of him. Leah, the one and only she wolf never attended the pack meetings except when absolutely necessary and Seth had remained home since his fallout with Jacob over the confession. However he had been summoned to tonight's meeting for a special purpose. That left only Kyle and Wyatt who still hadn't shown up. But soon the pack's ears perked up to the sound of approaching footsteps and hurried breaths in the surrounding woods before the source was revealed.

"Here we are. Sorry, we're late." Kyle apologized as he jogged out of the woods and into the clearing with young Wyatt trailing behind him. Many of the pack groaned knowingly as Kyle and Wyatt joined the circle. As brothers they always stuck together even though they were divided into separate ranks within the pack. With their family ignorant to them being shifters, they always found it difficult to sneak away from home without getting in trouble causing them to be the regular late attendees.

"No big surprise there, you guys are always late." Jared laughed but to his right, Paul didn't find it so funny.

"What's your fucking excuse this time assholes?" Paul barked as he approached Kyle. The smaller Wyatt shrank behind his older brother who locked gazes with Paul; refusing to be bullied.

"Jeeze, we were trying to get here on time but someone left only two of us to close up the shop on a Saturday when it's our busiest night. What the fuck were we supposed to do?" Kyle challenged, not backing down from Paul.

"You guys! Stop!" Sam shouted as he saw what was coming. If he left the pack to their own devices for even a second; all hell could break loose as they were prone to start fights with each other.

"Are you giving me lip you little fuck?" Paul snapped, pushing at Kyle's chest. This made Kyle push back and just when Paul was about to swing his fist, Quil and Jarred grabbed him from behind to restrain him, while fellow shifters Wyatt and Michael also struggled to pull Kyle back away from Paul. The pack became riled up with excitement and tension at the potential outbreak of a fight until a loud voice ringing with the weight of the alpha's power echoed throughout the clearing.

"You guys knock it off now! We didn't come here for this shit!" Jacob yelled, causing everyone to stop and watch him stalking out of the dark woods as he made his way to the center of the pack circle. It grew quiet as everyone begrudgingly settled down.

"So is this about patrols again?" Jared complained.

"Damn it Jared shut up!" Jacob snapped with annoyance.

"I was just kidding. Sorry" Jared mumbled, taken aback by Jacob's outburst.

"Look, if either Jacob or myself ask any of you to patrol, you just take it and don't give us any shit about it." Sam commanded.

"Well Sam if we have to be here, where the hell is Leah? How come she always gets off the hook?" Paul spoke up, breaking the deafening forest quiet. Sam sighed heavily at Paul's blatant challenge.

"Because she ditches the pack meetings and she doesn't give a fuck." Logan replied dryly as if it were common knowledge in which case it was. Being one of the first wolves to change in the latest generation, Logan was known for his tact at stating the obvious with a demeaning attitude.

"Sam you need to have a talk with her!" Michael piped in.

"He's right!" Quil agreed. "I can understand she's pissed about the wedding coming up, but that doesn't mean she should have free reign to shirk her responsibilities on us."

"She's just being a selfish bitch as usual." Paul added causing the pack to roar with laughter in agreement to his snide remarks. Sam visibly snarled his impatience as he looked to Jacob who wore an expression of impatience at their meandering conversations.

"Fuck off Paul!" Sam snapped.

"Oh, the big bad ex-leader is all riled up now, huh?" Paul teased.

"You guys cut it out now! Let Sam deal with Leah okay!" Jacob commanded, having had enough of the banter.

"Look I'll speak to Leah on my own, when the time is appropriate. Right now, you guys just handle your new patrols as Jake and I have assigned them." Sam agreed, nodding at Jacob appreciatively before turning to give Paul a dark stare. However this announcement caused everyone present besides Jacob and Sam; to murmur questioningly.

"New patrols? What do you mean?" Nathan asked aloud from the back of the crowded pack.

"Listen up, part of the reason we called this meeting is because Sam and I have been talking and we've decided that we're going back to training." Jacob announced as the whole clearing was filled with groans and complaints from the pack members.

"Fuck no, I hate training!"Quil swore aloud.

"Look guys, I know, but three leeches got away from us this week. That's an innocent human's life, your imprint's life, your life, your family's lives that we failed to protect and if this keeps up, that means we're not doing our job as the protectors of this land." Jacob explained sternly to the large pack.

"Well, the only way to do that is by continuing our patrols as usual, right?" Trent, one of the three youngest wolves asked aloud.

"Haven't you heard what he's been saying dumb ass? It's not enough anymore." Paul answered rudely. This brought about snickers from some of the older wolves but Logan who was sick of watching Paul bully and belittle the younger ones found nothing funny about it.

"Paul, don't call him a dumbass you punk. He was just asking a fucking question." Logan defended Trent, stepping in front o f him.

"I wasn't talking to you was I?" Paul shot back just as hotly.

"Yeah, besides, that boy needs to wake the fuck up and pay attention to his duties instead of sucking up to your ass all the time." Jarred added who sided with Paul all too often out of habit. This again caused the pack to split into sides once more. The older veterans arguing against the newcomers.

"Well Jared I don't see either of you guys taking out leeches any better than the rest of us!" Michael shouted back at Jared, coming to Logan and Trent's defense. Those who were not involved either laughed and encouraged the rude exchanges or kept their opinions to themselves.

"You guys, settle down now. I mean it!" Sam said getting in between the two arguing sides.

"Well if the upstarts would stop putting their noses where it's not wanted…" Paul barked.

"ALRIGHT STOP THAT'S ENOUGH!" Jacob shouted. He had tried being patient for the umpteenth time but it was growing thin at this point. "I'm sick as fuck of your damn fighting all the time! You want to duke it out, fine. But do it elsewhere! Sam and I got more important shit to be doing than breaking up your pointless fights!" Jacob went on in his alpha voice. Seeing that the pack had calmed down, Sam continued where Jacob had left off before the outburst.

"Look guys, bottom line…we're going to be taking one night a week off from patrols to meet up at the summit of the northern mountains, just north east of the border. The grounds of the mountain on that side as well as the woods are far away enough from any prying ears or eyes for us to spar around and train each other a bit without attracting attention." Sam explained.

Again there were audible murmurs of groans, moans and disproval but not enough to cause anymore tensions than there already were. Before turning back to the pack, Jacob looked to Sam questioningly.

"Sam, did you print off the new schedules?" Jacob asked. Nodding a yes, Sam reached into a large moleskin satchel he had on the ground near a broken tree trunk and pulled forth a large stack of papers that he began passing out to the pack.

"Alright guys, what I'm passing out are your new ranks along with the new routes and territories you will be patrolling as well as the times." Sam explained as the new schedules went around to everyone present. Immediately sounds of annoyance and anger roared from the pack at seeing the new rank arrangement. Originally, ranks had been designed as smaller broken up packs within the overall pack. The smaller packs had been used as a means to organize and utilize the ever growing number of new wolves awakening in La Push. For the most part, five of the veteran wolves (Jacob, Jared, Paul, Sam and Quil) each had their own rank with other newer and younger wolves subordinate to them. And while not everyone in the pack got along at all times, for the most part they had grown comfortable within their own rank and didn't want to be mixed up with others.

"Jacob! Man, what the fuck is this?" Quil questioned hotly, looking at the paper in his hand disbelievingly above the others' complaints.

"Yeah Jake, you and Sam totally screwed up my rank! How come that fucking jerk Paul is leading our rank now?" Kyle accused, pointing at Paul. Paul looking at his new schedule and looked up with aggravation.

"Fuck you, I don't want you in my rank in the first place." Paul replied.

"You think we want to work with you?" Trent questioned smartly.

"It can't be any worse than what I'm stuck with here." Logan said dreadfully as he looked at the rank he was now placed with.

"Shut it!" Jacob shouted, quieting everyone once more." Now I know you guys are used to your own ranks now with their being so many wolves. But it's gotten to the point where you can't even hunt leeches properly when you're forced to work with anyone outside your rank. That's got to stop!" Jacob explained sternly.

"Jacob is right." Sam added. "We originally came up with ranks because there were so many wolves at the time and we realized that the veteran pack members could lead their own subsets that could patrol and cover more land over a shorter time. But in the case of an emergency, you may not always have your rank members nearby or able to meet up when a leech is on the prowl. That's why we've got to learn to work together no matter who we are forced to hunt with. That's the bottom line here."

The realization and logic behind Jacob and Sam's new system began to sink in to the others. Everyone murmured approval knowing that they needed to retrain as an entire pack to grow stronger and more coordinated together as a team.

"Sorry to interrupt but…you guys made Embry my new rank leader. But he's not here. Will he know about the new set up and the new schedules?" Wyatt asked timidly. Everyone looked around and realized that Embry and Collin were indeed missing. Of course, no one else besides Jacob and Sam knew that he purposefully had told everyone about the pack meeting besides Embry and Collin.

"We'll let Embry know. He said he couldn't make it on account of taking care of his mom." Sam acknowledged.

"Hey that's strange….Collin's not here either. Anyone heard from him? He's in my rank now." Jarred asked aloud.

"Jacob have you heard from Collin?" Sam questioned, looking to Jacob.

"No. But I know he's sick and Embry's helping him and his family out. In the meantime, I'm leaving the responsibility up to the rank leaders present to keep your new rank members updated at all times . So Jared, you're going to have to get the message to him." Jacob informed.

"Alright, fine." Jarred agreed, followed by everyone else's begrudging grumbles of acknowledgement.

"Any questions?" Jacob asked one final time.

"We got it, we got it. Over and out." Quil mocked loudly, causing everyone to laugh.

"Alright, now on to further business. Everyone is….well aware of the situation regarding Seth." Sam asked the pack, which was followed by some laughter, some scoffing and wolf yelps meant to be derogatory.

"Jake, dude you got a fag after you." Quil laughed, playfully punching Jacob on the shoulder. Jacob shrugged his lifelong friend's touch off not in the mood to play games.

"God, where has that fag been lately? I haven't even seen him around lately." Paul inquired.

"Probably too scared to step foot outside his house now." Logan answered, laughing with the others.

Jacob turned away from the pack as his frustration built up. He had to admit he hadn't seen Seth lately and while a part of him missed the boy, he squelched that feeling down knowing just how sinful those feelings were. Besides, it wasn't his fault. Seth had made him feel this way. Hadn't he? He wouldn't be going through this if it had not been for Seth. But he knew the reason why Seth wasn't around. He knew Embry and Seth were somewhat friends and he had suspected all week that Embry was secretly keeping tabs on the younger man, trying to keep him out of the pack's way. And that was why he and Sam precisely decided to call this meeting last minute and not tell Embry so he wouldn't be here to protect Seth from what they had to do….exile Seth. It was for the best.

"Do you guys really think this shit is funny?" Jacob said, addressing the pack as he crossed his arms. His closest friends in the pack saddled up to stand next to him as the rest of the pack continued to discuss and joke about the matter.

"Jake, come on. We're just messing with you." Quil chided, throwing an arm around Jacob's shoulder.

"Yeah, we're with you man. We think this shit is messed up but we're well aware of how serious it is. Don't worry, man, we got your back." Jared encouraged.

"So, the Council says a Seth's traitor huh?" Kyle asked Sam. Sam sighed heavily as he nodded his head in affirmation.

"That's how the council has put it. Makes sense though. I mean, we stop continuing the bloodline to pursue perverted and unnatural behaviors like being gay then that puts an end to us." Sam answered.

"Aww man, when is that little bitch getting here. I want to give him a piece of my mind." Quil shouted out.

"He should be here in a few. I had someone summon him." Jacob answered coldly as he looked at Brady who stood near the back of the crowded pack members. Brady, one of the few of the pack who remained quiet and hadn't so much as laughed along with the pack during the exchange or uttered a word nervously returned Jacob's stare before looking away. Paul, who had been watching Brady out of the corner of his eye the whole time, grabbed Brady by the back of his neck in an intimidating manner.

Watching the exchange between Paul and Brady made Jacob feel cold and unemotional. He really didn't know how he felt about this. Sure he told himself he hated Seth and he knew he had to do this…he wanted to do this. He was sick of Seth ruining his life. He was sick of feeling this way about the younger boy. But he felt uneasy about so many others agreeing with his fear, hatred and disgust. He felt encouraged that the pack and the council were backing him but he felt a bit wrong at the same time. All he knew was…he was confused.

"Hey you little bitch, did you get Seth like Jake told you to. You better have cause if you mess this shit up your ass is mine." Paul barked in Brady's face. Brady, nodded furiously. H tried to turn away from Paul to hide his face as tears came to his eyes.

"Uh...y...yes…I did. I went to get him...just like he told me." Brady answered with fear.

"Good. At least you're fucking good for something." Paul smirked.

Brady felt guilty and pain stricken at what he was forced to do. He hated the fact that Paul was goading to him about the task that he and Jacob forced him to do. Because they knew Seth probably saw Brady as one of the more innocent pack members and didn't see him as a threat in the midst of the drama and chaos that had ensued since his confession. Brady was sent to Seth's house to tell him that Jacob wanted to see him and to meet him here. He remembered Sam and Paul explicitly telling him to not lead on to what it was about. But Brady felt horrible remembering the look on Seth's face…the sight of hope forming in his face, hope that maybe Jacob had forgiven him and wanted him back.

However both Brady as well as the whole pack present began to quiet with rusting of branches and trees that they heard before them. As they looked on ahead, they watched the small and slim but fit figure of Seth emerge from the forest and enter the clearing. Everyone stood watching him intently, all awaiting what was to come. However it was Jacob who had been looking at the fire and hadn't seen Seth enter until he looked up from the flames and suddenly saw Seth, causing his heart to skip a beat. He felt a glowing warmth swell within the pit of his stomach and he knew that he loved this boy. Gazing at him, Jacob couldn't deny how beautiful the younger man was with his short cropped hair cut close to his ears but still retaining enough bangs that they sometimes fell into his eyes, perfectly framing the innocent set of dark eyes that glimmered with so much love and hope even in the face of so much pain. His beautiful voice that Jacob had dreamt of crying out his name broke the silent reverie he was lost in and everyone watched the younger man intently.

"Um…..Jacob?" Seth asked in a quiet voice as he looked around the clearing, noticing the entire pack there besides his sister, Embry and Collin. He noticed the hard stares by most of them directed at him and he felt himself growing anxious, fearing what was to come. Seth had to admit that he was a bit shocked when not even two hours ago Brady had shown up at his door step telling him he was sent by Jacob to meet him at the old clearing. However Seth had no idea the entire pack would be present. In his heart of hearts, Seth thought that just maybe Jacob had forgiven him and wanted to be friends again. But seeing things now, Seth was unsure what to think. He watched everyone watching him. Some with hate, others with curiosity. All he knew was…this had to have been a set up and the thought alone made him want to cry.

"Oh my God, this is just too good." Quil said excitedly as Seth waked closer to the group his eyes downcast. The pack began whispering again as Jacob walked to the front of the lines with Sam, Paul, and Quil and Jared flanking him. Some of the others watched excitedly while a few stood back not wanting to witness the humiliation they knew was to come for Seth.

"Well well, look what the faggot dragged in." Paul chuckled.

"Um…Jake….Jacob...you…you asked me to meet you." Seth said in a quiet tone, trying to ignore Paul.

"I can't believe he actually had the nerve to show up. I was sure he wouldn't come." Logan muttered to Michael and Jared who both wore grins.

"Dude, I can't believe you actually came. Just keep it in your pants okay. We don't want your aids around here." Jarred laughed with Quil and Logan, causing most of them to join in.

"You guys cut it out." Jacob laughed with them. Everyone simmered down enough to focus on what was to occur between Jacob and Seth.

"Jake….." Seth began.

"Why the fuck are you late?" Jacob snapped. Seth instinctually stepped back out of fear.

"Jake…please…I got lost trying to get up here by myself. I forgot the old trail we used to take up here in the mountains. It's been awhile and…."

"Will you stop fucking stalling Seth. You know why I called you out here." Jacob spat.

"Jake…" Seth began but he felt overwhelming loss and sorrow pushing its way up through his chest like a tumor and making its way to his throat and he knew if he didn't hold it in that the sobs would spill forth. "I'm sorry Jake….I though you wanted us to talk...you know, just you and me."

"Seth whatever the hell we need to discuss can be discussed with the whole pack." Jacob cursed.

"Yeah, he needs witnesses just in case you try anything on him." Quil added cruelly. Some of the pack began snickering.

"You guys calm down." Sam commanded as he tried to keep the pack from getting too riled up. Sam, although he was right beside Jacob did not want things to go this way. He cared for Seth like a younger brother but he couldn't understand why Seth would want to go down this sinful route and being the beta to Jacob meant his word came second and he had to agree with Jacob and the council's decisions. Besides, he didn't know what else to do.

"Look Seth, you know what I want to talk about. The pack needs to be present because this is pack business, this is tribal business. We have more than enough wolves now and with your recent choice to not only betray me with your perverse nature but to turn your back on the traditions of the pack and this tribe as well….the pack has spoken...the council has spoken…I have spoken…you're out." Jacob spoke with as much venom and spite as he could muster.

"Out? What do you mean?" Seth asked.

"Did I fucking stutter? You're out of the pack!" Jacob answered. The pack began to howl and holler with approval except for those few who chose to stand back and merely watch. Seth looked around the circle at the faces of his pack brothers. None showed mercy. He looked at Brady who was at the back, his head down. Their eyes met for a moment and Seth could see Brady's eyes were wet with tears. Seth didn't know the full story but he knew in that moment he couldn't blame Brady for being an accomplice to the pack's plan to set him up and bring him out here alone for this public exile.

"Wake the fuck up fag, didn't you hear? He said you're out now so get going!" Paul shouted, waking Seth from his thoughts. He looked to Jacob who was unrelenting. Looking to Sam, Seth pleaded with his eyes for some mercy.

"But why…I….Sam?" Seth cried.

"Seth, listen. It's for the best. Now please just go home before something happens and you get hurt." Sam warned Seth sternly trying his best to impart a kind warning while remaining stern enough so the pack would not let on.

"Man don't act like you didn't ask for this." Michael said to Seth.

"I know right, I don't want a fag in the pack, checking my ass out every time we phase." Jared added with a laugh.

"You guys, I would never….I….never looked at anyone that way….I swear" Seth refused to cry like this…not in front of his pack brothers, not where they could see him.

"I always tried to tell you guys he was a queer, and you didn't want to believe me." Quil mentioned.

"Seth, why the fuck are you still here? You're not welcomed here. I don't want you, the pack doesn't want you and nobody else ever will. Now go!" Jacob said, causing Seth to turn to him.

"Yeah, before we make you wish you had never been a wolf." Paul spat.

"Look….this is a pack….I'm pack…I'm family…I'm still one of you. What am I supposed to do? Stop phasing? Please don't do this to me. I thought that no matter what our duties come first." Seth reasoned sincerely as he made his way closer to Jacob. Jacob stared Seth down as if he were something criminal.

"I don't give a fuck what you thought! I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from me, from us. You're lucky as hell I don't kick you off my fucking land as well!" Jacob threatened.

"Jacob please…I…..I know you hate me right now but…..just because we have our own issues to deal with, that doesn't mean we should neglect our responsibilities too. Please let me stay. I will still patrol, I'll keep up with my responsibilities, I swear. But please don't kick me out." Seth begged as he started to cry.

"Damn it Seth stop being so dramatic. You're not a part of this pack anymore." Jarred spoke up.

"Dude, seriously why would you even want to be gay? I mean I for one always knew you were but still why?" Quil asked aloud to Seth who felt the size of a mouse as the pack began to circle around him. All except for a few who remained out of it, the younger ones; Brady, Wyatt, Nathan and Trent as well as the eldest new wolf Elijah who had kept his thoughts and opinions to himself. Elijah was a quiet man who resented the pack for his own personal reasons but even to him this situation did not seem just or fair from what he had gathered about what happened between Jacob and Seth.

"I'm not sticking around for this crucifixion. I'm out of here. You guys should go on home now too." Elijah muttered darkly to the four little pups that stood in the back with him. Wyatt, Nathan and Trent all nodded their head in agreement as they nervously looked back to the elder wolves that were too busy speaking with Seth to notice them leaving. Brady however felt torn as he watched the three youngest wolves follow Elijah into the darkness of the woods. He knew he couldn't stand by and watch Seth be ridiculed, condemned, humiliated and punished by the very man he loved. Especially because Brady could relate all too well to the situation regarding his similar feelings for Paul. But if he left, Paul would notice and be angry. Looking back one last time Brady saw Paul watching him with hateful knowing eyes and something else…Brady couldn't place it but he knew Paul saw his tears and the pain on his face and all he could think of was…._"he knows." _Wasting no time, Brady scurried to follow the other wolves into the forest to run back home as quickly as he could.

Back at the clearing, Jacob and those who remained were too busy with Seth to realize some of their pack members couldn't stand by and watch what was occurring. Seth had noticed and silently thanked them knowing those five were different from the others present. They may or may not be friends but Seth knew that Elijah and the younger wolves meant Seth no harm and never gave him a hard time. It gave him hope that not everyone wanted to see him exiled.

"Seth don't let us catch you in these woods again. If I find out that you are phasing than you'll regret it." Jacob commanded.

"So I'm not even allowed to phase anymore? Jacob please….what did I do? I'm sorry I told you my feelings…I really am...but you can't do this to me Jake. Not after everything we've meant to each other….what did I do to make you hate me so much?" Seth wept.

"Seth don't play stupid. You know how selfish it was to confess to Jake like you did and expect him to love you. So don't you fucking dare point the finger at anyone but yourself." Paul snapped out. The others nodding in agreement.

"Yeah, besides you caused this Seth. Maybe if you hadn't been lusting after Jake this whole time trying to come in-between him and his future imprint." Kyle added.

"Oh man, that's it, isn't it? You wanted Jake to imprint on you! Dude you're sick!" Quil shouted at Seth.

"No! I never meant to cause something like that! I would never in any way try to influence Jacob's imprint. I would never come in between him and the imprint he wants to find. All I did was tell him my feelings, I swear. It was just something in between us. No one else should have known" Seth answered pathetically but the pack just scoffed at him.

"Just between us? Seth what's my business is the entire pack's business and from now on there is nothing between us. You got that!" Jacob shouted.

"You can't mean that Jake?" Seth begged. "Jake… I mean…no matter what… I'm still…Jake…we're still friends..We've always been….I…I know I messed up. I know I shouldn't have told you how I felt and I'm sorry but you can't just push me away…you can't! I'm still a wolf and this is my home too, so I have a right and responsibility to defend it just as much as any of you."Seth explained as he gasped to catch his breath but before he could finish Jacob back handed him across the face, the deafening slap echoing throughout the clearing.

"Don't you ever take that tone with me! I can do whatever the fuck I want! I'm the alpha here! You're just…you're just a nothing…a no good piece of shit wolf…a gay freak that's been fucking lying and manipulating me this whole time. Were you trying to get me to fall for you? Did you want a fuck or something…as that what you hoped to get from me?" Jacob growled. Seth cried as he held his stinging cheek.

"Jacob…no… I never meant to upset you or betray your trust. I…..if I had known, I never would have said anything but I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I hurt you. That was never my intention. I told you because…Jacob I told you the truth because I care about you." Seth assured his former best friend.

"So what? You think that makes it right? Shit Seth, I trusted you. I was your best friend and you would not only have the gull to tell me you're a faggot but to also keep that a secret from me for so long? Just how fucking long were you trying to get close to me?" Jacob yelled furiously but before anyone could blink Seth began to tremble. Deep down in his heart, Seth felt something drop and shatter' nreaking into a million pieces. He wasn't sure if it was his faith, his hope..his sanity. But he lost control as he shook with his sobs until he felt his body explode and contort until it molded into his sandy colored wolf form. Everyone instinctually stepped back with confusion as to why Seth would phase on them. Shocked, Seth immediately stepped back as confusion took over.

"_How…why did I phase?"_ Seth asked himself.

"Oh so you want to play that game! You want to fight me huh?" Jacob roared as he ran at Seth and in mid air he exploded into a larger reddish brown furred wolf; lunging at Seth and with one good swipe threw the younger wolf down to the ground. Jacob stopped to look down at Seth and felt victory at how strong he was to overcome his feelings. He had to push back his feelings for Seth. Seth made him do this…he made him feel this way. It was only right that he should be the one to pay. Seth looked up at Jacob miserably before tears dripped from his wolf eyes. His head was pounding with what he believed might have been a scar Jacob had just given him. His eyesight blurred with a drizzle of blood that ran from his head and into his eyes. Seth looked down at his paws as his wolf eyes wept with sorrow caused not by Jacobs attack but by his words.

"Man, what the hell did you do that for?" Sam barked in Jacob's mind. Jacob turned around to see the rest of the pack on all fours as wolves, running to catch up with where he and Seth were. Because of their bout, Seth had been knocked back into the forest where the pack had to run to catch up with the two of them.

"Sam knock it off, Seth's the one who phased." Jared defended Jacob.

"The little fag thought he was going to win a fight against us?" Paul laughed.

"Never…I…I don't know why I phased…I couldn't help it…I'm sorry. It just happened." Seth cried as eight large wolves circled around him threateningly.

"You fucking liar! You phased on purpose to try to attack Jake didn't you! You're just mad he rejected you and now you want to get even. And stop fucking crying. No one here feels sorry for you!" Quil cursed. But truly Seth could not understand himself why it had happened. For shape shifters, usually it takes a feeling of an intense anger, rage, excitement or fear to make them phase but for the first time Seth felt like the overwhelming feelings of sadness and despair had made him phase uncontrollably.

"Seth, don't you see why this is for the best. You can't even control your own wolf phasing let alone your emotions. You're too emotional..too unstable. How on earth could the pack benefit from having you around?" Sam reasoned as best he could trying to remain the calm one even though he could tell the others were enjoying the humiliation they were putting Seth through. But even Sam had to admit that there was something strange about the way Seth had phased. He had never seen someone phase like that before…it was as if Sam could sense that Seth really hadn't meant to.

"Look Seth, Sam's right. Plus, we can't be disturbed by your thoughts when we're on the job. We just can't afford you to hinder the ultimate goals of what we're all about." Jared explained. "We can't be united as one pack when you're the factor that could hinder our strength and break us apart."

"Shit, I for one don't want to a mother fucking faggot in our pack!" Paul cursed loudly.

"What are you trying to say? That I'm an endangerment to the entire pack?" Seth asked disbelievingly.

"Look, it's one thing if you want be a fag, but don't throw this on Jacob. It's not his problem!" Logan accused Seth.

"I'm no different from the Seth you guys have always known. Why can't you see that?" Seth begged them to see his side of things.

"Oh please don't start with that gay acceptance shit. Seth, if you want to be sexually confused then that's your business, but we don't want you spreading your confusion to us either. Don't you get it?" Jacob said in a disgusted voice, the others encouragingly howling approval for his comment.

"Do you have any idea how humiliating this is for me? How the fuck could you be so selfish?" Jacob demanded to know as he barked down at Seth menacingly.

"Jacob….when I confessed to you, that was for your ears only Jake. You didn't have to tell the rest of the pack. I…I told you because I care about you and…..I just had to be honest with you. I never meant to…." Seth began but was cut off.

"Hey don't blame us. And what Jake tells us is his own fucking business. " Michael, the dark gray wolf barked down at Seth.

"Seth don't blame anyone else but yourself, you got that. How the hell can you be so god damn selfish? Huh? You know damn well how much I love Bella and you have the nerve to lay this bomb on me. What the hell am I supposed to think?" Jacob roared angrily. As he crept threateningly close to Seth who still remained crouched pitifully on the ground looking up at the vengeful pack that hated him so much.

"I never meant to hurt you or…cause you any trouble….I just….." Seth cried.

"Jake has enough to deal with right now. Besides, what did you hope to gain by telling him? Did you really think Jake would just give himself to you?" Quil questioned.

"Man, did you expect Jake to just fall in love with you and start sucking dick?" Paul laughed, egging the others on.

"Yeah, Seth was just hoping and praying that he could convert Jake I bet." Quil added.

"And what about your mom Seth? How do you think she feels about this? You're ruining her reputation as well as yours." Sam reminded Seth. Seth admittedly hadn't thought of that before. Did he put others at risk and put them on line just because of his selfish desire to confess his feelings to Jacob? But deep down, Seth knew he had to tell Jacob somehow. He had to free himself of that secret if he were ever going to know what could or could not have been. However now he wondered if it all was worth it.

"I don't care what people think about me but….I never meant to hurt anyone. Is there something so wrong with being who I am? I can't help the way I feel." Seth confessed, refusing to be defeated even though he felt broken but the pack merely laughed at him.

"Seth, listen to yourself. In case you didn't know, Jake wants to get married, and he wants to have kids. He wants a real family. Being gay, you can't give him any of those things. What kind of future could you possibly have Seth?" Jarred questioned with a cruel bark, making Seth feel small and foolish for ever loving Jacob and reminding him that no matter how much he loved Jacob, he could never give the alpha wolf what he wanted….a family of his own.

"Just do us all a favor and just get lost fag." Paul shouted.

"I told you I'm sorry Jake…but….what more can I do? What do I have to do to prove to you how sorry I am?" Seth asked through his sobs as he looked up to see Jacob just looking into his wolf eyes with such venom that he felt like he didn't even know those warm eyes that had once looked at him with so much love, loyalty and kindness.

"Seth, you want to make things right? You can start by getting the fuck out of my life. NOW GO!" Jacob spat down at Seth. The hurt expression with the tears made Jacob's heart cringe for the first time since the pack meeting began on this night. Jacob had told himself he had to be strong. He told himself he had to persevere and be as cruel to Seth as he could be because he had to punish him. Seth was a sinner, a pack traitor and fagget. But there was a part of Jacob that knew in his heart something felt wrong..horribly wrong as he watched Seth slowly crawl back up on all fours and limp away as fast as he could…sobbing through the night.

The eight remaining wolves stood there looking after Seth's retreating form in the night. It became so quiet that the slightest stir of trees in the wind seemed deafening.

"Should we..you know…follow him?" Logan asked aloud in their linked wolf minds, sharing everyone's thought.

"No…leave him be. He's pretty upset." Sam answered.

"You guys think he'll try coming back around to the pack meetings?" Quil asked.

"I don't see why he would." Jared thought to himself.

"I don't know why, he caused all this..the little fucker." Paul growled, wanting to follow Seth.

"Paul please, we've had enough tonight." Sam chastised. "Please Jake, is this whole ordeal finished yet?"

"Yeah…its done." Jacob announced with finality. But he still couldn't shake the feeling that something was horribly wrong. Had he gone too far? He felt so torn. What was he to do? He was angry at Seth. He hated him. But why did he feel so horribly for what he did and said just now? He knew she shouldn't feel remorse now but he couldn't shake these confusing range of emotions.

"Jake….you don't feel bad for exiling him do you?" Quil asked with curiosity and suspicion as he felt like he caught a vague thought form Jacob's mind through their shared mental link.

"No ! Of course not. Come on, let's just go." Jacob said. The other seven wolves present all nodded in agreement and together they ran through the woods to make their way back to their homes.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE - Thank you for reading. This is only part one in the promsied five-part update. The four other updates are much shorter and I will try to post them over the next couple of days. Thanks again for continuing to read this story.


	8. Lost in Darkness

AUTHOR'S NOTE - As promised, here is the next update. One thing I have noticed is that when you edit the content of a chapter, Fanfiction does not show it as an update. So when I replaced my author's note that I posted in April with the actual chapter 7 content, the site may not have alerted the readers. This chapter is unique in that it occurs directly after chapter 7 instead of any time passing in-between so in order for this chapter to make sense, you may have to back track and read chapter 7 if you have not already.

WARNING! - Not to spoil the plot for you, but I do want to give you a fair warning. This chapter is one of my darkest yet. It contains mature and adult content including language, abuse and sex; so please be warned. If you are offended or easily disturbed by such material please DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER. I would like to take this time to state that I do not condone such behaviors in the slightest; this is all for the purpose of the story and the growth of the characters.

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CHAPTER 8

"Is anyone out there?" Seth called out into the darkness of the night. A darkness that seemed so hopeless. That seemed so endless. But at this point everything in life seemed hopeless. His pack exiled him, kicked him out for good and Seth had never felt so alone. He always knew the pack as a whole looked at him as more of a nuisance than an equal, regardless of his heroic exploits during the war against the renegade vampire and her army three years ago. But to realize just how much they hated him and wanted him out cut deeper than he realized. Seth had always adored his pack bothers, no matter how cruel they treated him. He always wished he could be closer to them, get to know them better; but that was not to be in a place where strength and power meant everything and you were seen as the epitome of weakness. The weak illness that could hinder the pack…that was how they described him just for being gay, for being who he was. But then Seth's mind thought of Jacob and he knew just from remembering Jacob's dead and cold yes, eyes that once held such life and love were now a sign that he lost a big chunk of his heart…of himself…and Seth was unsure if he would ever get it back.

It had been almost an hour since he had left the pack and now he wish he pleaded with them more because he hated being lost out into the woods by himself at this late hour. Seth figured by now it was lose to midnight. He may have been a wolf, but that didn't stop him from being afraid when left to find his own way in an endless darkness. Thoughts of Jacob came rushing through his mind. His smile, his strong and jovial laugh, his large and broad shoulders on which Seth had cried many nights, his powerful arms in which Seth had slept in many nights, his once bright eyes that used to look at Seth as if he were his entire world. Seth knew he would never see those eyes again and it was like a stabbing pain in his chest. Jacob had made it clear he didn't want Seth in his life anymore…but knowing that Jacob still had Bella to go home to; that they were probably copulating their love for each other even right this very second made Seth drop to his knees in broken sobs. H e cried and wept for what seemed like forever as he let all of the pain within him be released. But just when he was managed to pull himself together, he heard a slight rustling of the trees near him.

"Whose there?" Seth called out quietly with fear evident in his voice. Picking himself up off the ground, he wiped away his tear stained face and began walking aimlessly; trying to feel his way around. Even with his heightened wolf senses, something about this area and the darkness of the night blinded him beyond recourse.

"Hate me." A deep, husky and familiar voice seemed to whisper in his ear. It startled Seth, causing him to gasp and jump. It was so close that Seth could swear he felt the breath of the voice on his ear. And something was familiar about that voice. It was a voice that used to be filled with such warmth and friendless. It was a protective and dependable voice that Seth had dreamt of at nights.

"Jacob? Jacob is that you?" Seth called out anxiously.

"_Curse me."_ The voice repeated with a malicious chuckle. Seth stepped back, feeling the voice so near to him that it was unnerving. "_Is it really Jacob? Is he here? Did he come back for me?" _These questions flew through the young wolf's mind but in this ever mounting darkness, there was no way he could figure anything out. He had to get home.

"FUCK ME!" the voice shouted like thunder. It was like a deep roar that seemed to resonate through the ground, through the trees and most of all through Seth's entire being. It seemed to be like many voices speaking at once, all tinged with anger, hatred, sadness and despair. Seth had never heard something so primal…so feral…so evil.

"KILL ME!" the voice screamed again and filled Seth was such an intense fear that he bolted. He ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He didn't care where he was going, or if he was getting anywhere. All he knew was he had to get away. He paid no attention to the jagged rocks beneath his feet, the sharp and unforgiving branches and vines that whipped past his delicate skin, cutting him. He ran for dear life feeling that voice behind him.

"Stop….stop it….please.." Seth shouted as he ran. The voice echoed behind him with a sinister laughter and he couldn't understand who or what it was. At first he had feared Jacob had returned to torture him some more but as the voice continued to speak..it became apparent that this was not Jacob. Whoever was speaking was merely imitating the voice of his beloved and their facade was quickly fading as the true malevolent nature of the voice became clear. But then Seth heard something he never wanted to hear in his waking state. The clicking of hooves against the ground.

"GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!" The voice boomed again and as Seth turned around. All he could see was a black swarming mass coming for him and that deafening horrific sound of hooves clicking against the ground like some devil stomping upon the earth. He had never been so afraid in his life and all he could do was run more and more until he hit something that seem to bring everything to a halt.

"SETH!" a voice shouted in front of him. Seth looked up to realize the wall he had hit was warm, with smooth but defined chiseled skin. Seth looked down to see familiar, protective arms wrapped around him. Looking up, he saw the panic stricken face of Embry even through the darkness. Relief washed over Seth as he melted into the older man's arms.

"Oh god Embry." Seth cried. "Oh...Thank God it's you...I...I couldn't see...I couldn't….." Seth began as tears filled his eyes.

"My god, Seth. I was looking everywhere for you." Embry said as he pulled Seth tighter into his arms, hugging him close. Embry had been worried sick about Seth for the past hour as he had cut his date short with Collin when they realized that the pack had been meeting up without their knowledge. Embry had known what was to happen. The pack had been talking about it for the past week with some of the elders but Embry had tried to tell himself that things wouldn't go that far. But seeing Seth now, Embry knew they had handled Seth like they said they would and anger began to rise up in the older man at the injustice of it all.

"You're bleeding here." Embry said through gritted teeth as he barely touched the scar just above Seth's forehead. Embry noticed it had started to heal but it appeared that it was taking longer. Much longer than what was necessary for their wounds to heal and this worried him. "What the fuck did he do to you Seth? Are you alright?"

"Huh? Oh...Umm...Yeah, I'm fine." Seth said, brushing Embry's hand away from his head and trying to smile. Seth wondered how they could see each other so clearly even in the darkness when only several minutes before Seth could barely see his hand in front of his face. He looked up at the night sky to see the clouds had parted enough to show a full bright moon shining overhead and somehow that coupled with Embry's presence made Seth feel a little bit calmer and safer.

"Don't lie to me Seth. They…they attacked you didn't they? The pack?" Embry said bitterly. At his accusation, Seth's eyes began to water as he remembered the ordeal. How he had accidently phased from the overwhelming sorrow and how Jacob had lashed out at him.

"Embry...I...I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to…I didn't mean to make trouble…I swear I didn't." Seth cried turning from Embry. Embry sighed heavily as he looked at Seth fragile state and it made him hate Jacob and the pack right now. He placed a comforting hand on Seth's shoulder.

"Seth it's not your fault! They had no right to do what they did!" Embry assured him with a stern voice.

"I just thought, that maybe if I told him…why was I so stupid…how could I…."Seth tried to reason but he couldn't control his sobs. Embry couldn't stand seeing Seth this way and took a hold of his shoulders, spinning the short and younger wolf around to face him again.

"Listen to me Seth, the pack has gone too far. They've hurt you..one of our own kind. Those bastards, don't worry Seth…I'm going to fix this." Embry promised but Seth's eyes grew wide at the prospect.

"No! Please don't..I…I don't want anyone else's life ruined because of me and my actions!" Seth begged.

"It's not your fault Seth, do you hear me! Jacob shouldn't have told the pack or the elders in the first place! He should have at least respected you enough to keep it between the two of you. But don't you for one fucking minute blame yourself for what they think of you and what they've done. Jake is so fucking blind by his own rage that he's ignorant to what's in front of him. He doesn't deserve you Seth." Embry encouraged him.

"Why does he hate me so much? Why does everyone hate me so much?" Seth asked as fresh tears spilled from his eyes and he felt angry at himself for being so weak and emotional like this in front of Embry. Embry just smiled down on Seth, pulling him closer.

"Come on buddy, let's get you home." Embry said as he lead Seth down the mountain and out of the woods.

Seth didn't know how much time had passed since Embry had found him but he did know that it seemed like it took no time at all for both he and Embry to make it out of the woods. Seth marveled at how everything seemed much brighter in the night now. Seth didn't know if it was the moon that had finally come out to light the way or if it was the helping hand of Embry whose mere presence seem to light up the night. Embry walked swiftly, holding Seth by the hand who trailed behind him and in that moment with Embry's hand holding his, the warm smile he would give him every now and then made Seth envy Collin for the perfect man he had. Looking at his strong broad shoulders and defined arms, his crooked warm smile that possessed a friendly mischief reminded Seth how beautiful Embry was and he was glad that Collin had found his happy ending with Embry even if Seth hadn't. In record time they made it out of the forest and to Embry's truck. Embry drove Seth through the rez and to the Clearwater residence, parking just outside the house to bring Seth home.

"You sure you're going to be okay?" Embry asked as the pulled the truck to stop. Seth looked out the window and saw the kitchen light on and knew his mother was home.

"Yes..I will be." Seth said quietly. Suddenly a loud sound scared Seth and he jumped as he turned in his seat to see Embry had punched his steering wheel angrily.

"I can't fucking believe this! I'm going to talk to that bastard Jacob!" Embry spat angrily, still fuming over what Jacob and the pack did.

"Don't worry about me Embry…but thank you…thanks for everything." Seth said with a smile, seeing just how much the older wolf cared for him. Embry returned the smile, although it was a bit forced because of how upset he was. Embry sighed as he looked at Seth, whose sad eyes defied the genuine smile he tried to express.

"Seth…I'm here for you…both Collin and I are here for you. You're not alone." Embry reminded Seth.

"I know that Embry and thank you for loving him back." Seth replied causing Embry looked at Seth questioningly.

"What do you mean?" Embry inquired.

"Collin." Seth answered. Embry smiled as he thought back to the boy of his dreams whom he had waiting for him at home.

"Oh, well….honestly Seth…I can't believe it took me this long to own up to my feelings but…I'm not going to make the same mistake that Jacob made. I love Collin with everything I got in me..I always have and I'm not going to let him get away this time. I'm going to make it work no matter the costs." Embry explained wistfully.

"He's lucky to have you." Seth answered seeing the happiness in Embry's eyes just at the mere thought of Collin.

"No, I'm really the lucky one." Embry said. They both sat there just looking at one another as no words were needed or said. It seemed as if the silence stretched on for miles and minutes until Seth spoke.

"Look, I should go inside but please don't let Collin worry too much about this." Seth said as he made his way out of the truck.

"Are you sure you won't come back home with me? You know you can stay with us." Embry asked pleadingly.

"I'll be fine Embry. Just please keep Collin safe and don't let him worry." Seth assured the older man.

"I'll protect him, don't worry. And I'll have him call you." Embry said through his window.

"Good night." Seth said as he walked from the truck and to his porch. He turned back to the truck to see Embry shout out to him.

"Night Seth. And remember, I'm here for you." Seth waved to him as he watched Embry's truck pull out of the drive way and make its way down the road.

* * *

As Seth walked into the house, he noticed the faint aroma of his mother's cooking and it brought a torrid of old memories to him. Times of when she would cook dinner for the four of them, his father, mother, his sister and himself. It took him back to a time when family meant everything to them, when their lives were whole and filled with the promises of tomorrow; a time long before the shadow of wolf legends darkened their doorway and took their father from them.

He took a big whiff and the scent of delicious beef stew filled his nostrils as he looked at the family pictures of yesteryears that adorned the living room. He had contemplated walking straight up to his bedroom, but he knew that to do so he needed to walk pass the kitchen; which meant he had to face his mother. Seth sighed deeply as he glanced at the hallway mirror to look at his scar. He noticed that the scar on his forehead was healing very slowly compared to how his wounds normally would heal. He tried wiping his face clean of any excess blood or tears so that his mother wouldn't grow suspicious. He wasn't sure if he was ready for her to know what had occurred. Not just yet.

"Uh….hey mom." Seth mumbled as he slumped through the kitchen sheepishly. Sue Clearwater who was working hard over the stove turned away from her work to look at her son for a short time. Seth saw her eyes looked very accusingly at him and he began to wonder if maybe she already knew what was happening. As she turned back to her work to continue stirring up the beef stew, he remembered Jacob and the pack had mentioned that they had met with the council of elders of the tribe about his so called "betrayal". And although Seth knew his mother was one of the council members, he didn't want to believe that she voted in favor with Jacob and the pack. He didn't want to believe what he feared to be true.

"Seth? Can you look in the pantry and see if we have anymore flour?" Sue called over her shoulder distractedly.

"Sure." Seth mad his way over to the pantry closet and reached up onto one of the many shelves, retrieving the container that held the flour and walked back over towards his mother to hand it to her.

"Thanks." Sue said as she took the flour from Seth, all the while, glancing uncomfortably at her son. Seth noticed this and shifted his gaze away from her nervously. Desperate to make things less awkward, Seth tried to think of something to say….anything.

"Um….So how was your day mom? It's been a couple of days since I've seen you." Seth asked, taking a seat at the kitchen table as he mentioned Sue's absence. Everyone knew where Sue Clearwater spent her nights after work. Ever since the death of her husband over three years ago, she had grown a close bond with her late husband's best friend; Charlie Swan. And everyone knew the real nature of their relationship yet none would speak of it and address it directly. Not even the ones whom it affected the most, her children. It's not that anyone had a problem with. The Clearwater kids loved Charlie, but they noted how Sue Clearwater took to his bed far too suddenly after their father's death and it was this that kept her away from home on so many nights; making her neglect her very own children all for her own happiness.

"Well, I've been busy. But I did have time to make it to last week's council meeting. It was….informative, for lack of a better word." Sue replied curtly as she looked crossly at Seth, annoyed that he would bring up her absence in the home as if it was his business.

"What do you mean?" Seth questioned. Sue stopped her cooking to turn around and looked at him with a scrutinizing gaze.

"Seth….is there something going on? Anything you need to tell me?" Sue accused more than asked, giving full attention to Seth.

"Tell you? No...why do you ask?"

"Seth, don't lie to me. What is this I'm hearing about you going around telling people that you're a…um…a homosexual?" Sue demanded. Seth looked down away from her gaze and focused on the peeling linoleum on the floor. His heart began to accelerate as the seconds ticked by. His mother knew. He knew that this wouldn't end well as his mother had always been one of the most traditional and conservative minded people he knew. She took pride in her children being inheritors of the legendary wolf gene that had been passed down from their ancestors, but within the walls of their home she always had a nagging ability to make them feel like they would never meet her expectations. And Seth realized this would be yet another factor for her to hold against him.

"What? What are you talking about mom?" Seth asked.

"Seth, don't lie to me!" Sue threatened.

"I'm not lying mom! I didn't go around telling people anything." Seth tried keeping calm, but his voice was quivering with fear…fear of his own mother not accepting him.

"So you're not a homosexual?" Sue demanded more than asked. Seth sighed, trying to compose his thoughts properly. He didn't want to argue with his mother. He didn't want to be ridiculed and chastised like he was some kind of criminal, especially by his own mother.

"Mom…..please…" Seth tried to begin but his mother could already see where he was going.

"Listen to me Seth, I was called into a council meeting with the other elders last week because apparently there seems to be a problem in the pack which is a problem for our tribe. The others say they can't even work with you because they say you're a queer and it hinders the pack. Now please Seth, please tell me they're lying. Please tell me you're not gay." Sue almost pleaded this time around.

"Mom…I…I can't tell you that because I don't want to lie to you. Not anymore. I'm sorry you had to find out like this." Seth answered simply as his eyes stung with the onset of tears. Many times he had dreamed and imagined a moment where he could come out to his mother and be honest with her and she would accept him. She would take him in her arms and tell him that she loved him and was proud of him no matter what. But he knew those were nothing but just dreams.

"But I don't understand. How could this have happened? Was it something I did? Was I too domineering?" Sue practically yelled in desperation.

"No mom…it's….it's not about you…it's about me. This is…just who I am!" Seth confessed as tears spilled from his eyes, desperate for his mother to believe him.

"Seth don't say that! You're not gay. Your father and I raised you better than that. For God's sake, I did all I could to keep you and Leah in the church. Please don't tell me you've turned your back on the faith." Sue shot back at her son, unwilling to believe that her son had become something that she had been raised and taught was wrong.

"Mom, please…..would you just listen to me? Of course I still believe in God but…mom…regardless of what they say at that church, or what the tribe teaches…..this is who I am. I've been hiding it…for a long while and…I don't want to hide anymore. I can't change who I am." Seth tried to explain, but he could clearly see his mother was not hearing a word he said.

"You can't be gay Seth!It's a sin! Damn it! It's not natural!" Sue shouted, throwing the wooden spoon down on the ground in frustration, causing it to break. The loud noise caused Seth to jump back but he stood his ground, wiping away his tears furiously. He took a slow breath as he looked at his mother. He couldn't back away from her. He had to face her…he had to be honest with her.

"What about me, about us, about this whole entire tribe has ever been natural? We turn into wolves for God's sake!" Seth asked shocked that his mother would call him something unnatural.

"Don't you dare take the Lord's name in vain Seth! And your wolf side is a blessing to this tribe and to our people. It's a testament of who you are and where you come from. It's your calling. And your father and I raised you to be proud and embrace your culture, but we did not raise you to go against the word of God and give in to sin." Sue said as she turned away from her son in disgust not wanting to hear anything more he had to say. But Seth would not back away. He had to say what he had to say or else he wasn't sure when the next time would be that he got to express his thoughts.

"Mom, how can you look at me and call me a sin? I'm still Seth! This is just a part of me! I can't change it, okay." Seth said. Sue turned back to him with indignation and impatience. Her eyes seemed to resonate with the wisdom of a middle aged woman who had been hardened by life's experiences but still possessed enough pride in her traditional upbringing.

"Look Seth, the wolf pack is all about procreating and continuing the bloodline; continuing our culture. How can you have kids and carry on the wolf gene and our culture if you're homosexual? How could you do this to me, to our family? I didn't raise you to be gay Seth! What would your father think if he even knew this?" Sue accused loudly. Seth couldn't believe what she had said. It had long been a shared resentment between Leah and Seth for their mother's constant reference to their dead father. Sue Clearwater could never find fault in her own actions but as soon as either child did something she didn't like or approve of, she brought up their father as if to shame them into believing he would be disappointed with them.

"Mom, don't bring dad into this." Seth cried, turning away from his mother this time. Sue stalked over in front of Seth so that he had to face her again as she refused to be ignored by her son.

"It's a good thing he's already cold in his grave otherwise this would kill him all over again. How can you be this damn selfish?" Sue asked, and Seth soon realized…that's just what Jacob said to him….was he really being selfish by being honest and true to himself and others?

"Mom, how am the selfish one? I was only fifteen when I first phased and since then I've done nothing but risk my life to protect our people. You sound just like Jacob and Sam and the other guys! Why can't you just accept me? Why are you blaming me for this?" Seth pleaded through his tears.

"Well how can they Seth? How do you expect us to accept this type of behavior from you?" Sue questioned, standing there impatiently with her arms crossed in disapproval; waiting for Seth's answer.

"You think I chose to be like this? It's not a choice!" Seth shouted back in utter frustration but this made Sue's high shouts grow even louder with anger at her son for challenging her.

"Don't you dare yell at me Seth! And there is always a choice, so don't blame the pack for your own problems. Jake, Sam, Paul, Quil…..all of those fine boys are a godsend to our people. You should follow their example! For gad's sake Seth, you're not a fag! I won't have a gay son!" Sue screamed at him, anger dripping off of her very word.

"Fine! Then you don't have a son!" Seth shouted back at her in frustration and sorrow as his sobs took over him. She had no idea what he had been through tonight and it had all been too much. All Seth wanted was for someone to love him and accept him. Was that too much to ask for?

"Go to your room now!" Sue screamed at the top of her lungs.

Seth ran from the kitchen and up to his bedroom where he fell back onto the bed that had been his safety zone for the better part of a week while he avoided Jacob and the pack. He cried endlessly as his head hit the pillow thinking of all he had endured. The faces of Jake and the pack and his mother filled his head as the shouts and accusations and insults of them filled his heart. He felt like he was dying. What was there to live for when no one loved him? He thought of Jacob and where he was at the moment and Seth wondered if Jacob was thinking of him as much as he thought of the older wolf. Seth knew how much Jacob hated him now but how could he treat him this way? How could the pack and his own mother treat him this way? It was times like this that Seth sometimes wished he were dead and at peace with his father, someone he knew would always take his side no matter what. Seth fell fast asleep with the tears of sorrow and disparity drying on his cheeks, constantly asking himself over and over…

"_what is there left to live for?"_

* * *

On another side of the reservation, in a lone house that despair calls home, Brady laid on his bed crying into his pillow. It was now two in the morning and Paul still wasn't home. Brady was unsure if he was worried or relieved. Before running away from the pack meeting several hours ago, Brady had seen Paul look at him. Their eyes seemed to meet across the bonfire and Brady was afraid of what he saw in those angry and frustrated eyes that belonged to Paul. In the pit of his stomach, he felt a deep churning as his heart tugged and he knew that Paul knew something. Maybe he had known all along. Would he be mad? Would he kick him out? Where was he to go? Brady was afraid for his life sometimes. He knew Paul hated him and he hated Paul as well...but sometimes he couldn't help but love him as sick and twisted as it may be. He couldn't help always caring for the much older man. But he knew that someday that love would kill him. Would it be tonight?

"Open this damn door!" Paul's voice roared on the other side of his locked bedroom door. Brady jumped up, startled form the loud and unexpected appearance of his guardian outside his bedroom. Brady sighed as he realized what was happening. Paul must have just gotten home. It was always the same routine. Paul would go to work, run patrols, go out to the club or bar, get drunk, bring a whore home, screw her and the next day would repeat itself with a brand new girl. But on nights when there were pack meetings, Paul would go out drinking at the bar with the pack and crawl back into the house in the wee hours of the night. Brady tiptoed to his door, his body trembling as he could tell Paul was beyond drunk by the older man's voice. Despite their wolf healing abilities, it still wasn't that hard to become intoxicated and Paul had become a master at it. For Brady knew that a drunk Paul was a dangerous one.

"I SAID OPEN THE DOOR YOU FUCKER!" Paul shouted. Brady hurried to the door and unlocked it to see the man of both his nightmares and fantasies, standing there with anger and fury in his eyes. But they seemed to be clouded over, caused by his intoxication. Brady stepped back instinctually knowing the first blow would come unexpectedly, but come nonetheless.

"Where the fuck have you been? Huh? Did you run off to comfort that faggot friend of yours?" Paul snarled at Brady, taking in the fragile boy before him.

"What? S..Seth? N...no...uh...of course not." Brady answered in a trembling voice. Paul scoffed as he stepped into Brady's tiny bedroom, causing the boy to step backwards into the room as well.

"Don't you dare fucking lie to me! I know you and that Collin bitch used to be friends and he's friends with Seth. Did you fucking know about Seth's feelings for Jake? Did you know he was some cock sucking bitch?" Paul asked in a harsh tone. Paul had been suspecting it for some time. The nervous glances, the tears the boy cried in the night when Paul slept with a new girl, the way he couldn't fight him back and most of all how he tried so hard to keep the older man out of his thoughts. Paul always knew there was something going on. After all, why would the younger wolf have something to hide from him unless it was something he knew in the back of his own mind to be true. Something that Paul could not come to terms with himself.

"God no…of course not Paul….why would I? I don't talk them? You won't let me talk to anyone, remember?" Brady replied, reminding Paul that he had forbidden the boy from speaking to anyone besides him.

"You fucking complaining now? I put a fucking roof over your ungrateful head and you have the nerve to piss and argue in my face!" Paul said pushing Brady in the corner of the wall.

"No, Paul…please...stop…I'm sorry…" Brady began to beg. Brady looked around and he was trapped. All that he could see was Paul towering inches over him with his light russet skin, defined muscles that could break him and that devilish but handsome face that could smolder anything it its wake. Paul merely scoffed at him, pushing him further into the wall, their bodies mere inches apart.

"Don't you fucking cry and act like I don't know. I bet the two of you have been keeping secrets! What's next? You going to tell me you fucking love me too?" Paul cursed with a smirk. Brady's eyes went wide and he looked away from Paul as tears began to flood his eyes._ "How could he know? How did he find out?"_

"Paul you don't know what you're saying…you're drunk! Just stop please…" Brady tried to force himself away from Paul, ducking just under his arm but Paul snatched him by the wrist and dragged back up against the wall, placing both hands against the wall on either side of the younger man's head.

"I'm not fucking drunk! I know what I'm talking about and you fucking know it too! Is that why you ran off earlier! Huh? You scared I know the truth now?" Paul accused, frustrated at being so near to this boy that he couldn't help but be disgusted with. But he couldn't understand why he was…he just knew there was something the boy did to him that he didn't like.

"What truth? What are you talking about? Are you crazy?" Brady replied.

"Don't you dare fucking patronize me you little shit! I know what you think of me! As if I wouldn't know the way you run from me when you see my body, the way you try to keep me out of your thoughts when we're phased or when I hear you fucking crying in your room like some little pussy every time I bring a new bitch home! You think I don't know?" Paul spat. He knew what Brady thought of him. But Paul wanted the boy to admit it, to confess it. He wanted the boy to be the one to blame.

But Brady couldn't handle this side of Paul. And though the years, he had taken the abuse without so much as raising a hand in defense even though he knew physically he couldn't even if he tried.

"Just leave me alone Paul! I've never done anything to you so leave me alone!" Brady cried as he tried his best to push Paul away. It wasn't his strength but the shock that Brady had pushed at him that made Paul stumble back, but once he caught his balance, he spun around to catch Brady before he got away.

"Come here you little bitch, you're going to pay for talking to me like that!" Paul said grabbing Brady roughly by his arm. Brady cried as Paul pulled him forcefully, throwing the younger boy callously on the nearby bed. Brady was in pain as tried to get up but Paul climbed atop him, straddling him as the weight of his firm and muscular body pinned Brady to the bed.

"What's the matter pussy? I thought little faggots like you loved being touched." Paul mocked.

"Let me go Paul!" Brady screamed as loud as he could. He was so scared, he didn't know what Paul would do, but what he feared worst was that he was somewhat enjoying this. He cursed himself for being so disgusting to love and hate Paul's abuse all at the same time; feeling the crotch of Paul's jeans against his own.

"Don't you ever tell me what I can't do to you! You fucking belong to me; do you understand!" Paul spat angrily in Brady's face. "I said do you understand you little faggot? I can't believe I've had such a pussy underneath my roof. All this time I've been taking care of your ungrateful ass and you have the gall to talk shit back to me."

"I never once asked for this! I never asked for you! I never wanted to be part of this, to be taken in by you, to lose my family….I fucking hate it here! I hate living here with you! I hate the way you treat me, the way you talk to me and most of all I FUCKING HATE YOU!" Brady screamed at the older man and for some reason it made Paul stop himself. He felt himself becoming unsure and less confident at hearing Brady's evident hatred of him. And for reasons unknown to even him, the thought of Brady hating him so much shook Paul to the core.

"You don't hate me, you stupid bitch! Who are you trying to fool! You fucking love me!" Paul said in an unsure tone as he laughed nervously, something completely out of his character. Brady just shook his head in disgust as tears splashed down his face.

"You fucking wish I did! You think you know so much! If you want the truth then fine, I am a faggot! But I would never…could NEVER love you! You're a fucking monster! The way you treat people, the way you treat women…nobody in their right mind could ever fucking love you…." But before Brady could get out the end of his sentence he felt a searing hot pain bite against his face as his head hit the pillow. Tears flooded from his eyes at the realization that the abuse had begun. Paul had slapped him. Brady reached up to find his cheek bleeding and sore.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU CUNT!" Paul screamed down at Brady. He couldn't take this. He couldn't handle this self assured Brady who hated him. He wouldn't accept this. He slapped Brady again for good measure. And then again….. and again. Until the room was filled with the deafening and stinging sounds of his palm striking Brady's face repeatedly. Paul leered down at Brady who looked up at Paul's maniacal grin in fear. The older man was panting with glee and frustration. He hated this...he hated doing this..and he never knew why he couldn't stop. But he knew that if he couldn't have a Brady that loved and worshipped him…then he would have a Brady that feared him.

"Oh god…." Brady cried as he looked up at Paul who had begun to strike him again. Paul laughed at Brady's fear but what he didn't notice was that Brady wasn't looking at him. He was looking past him. Brady's eyes widened in shock, fear and horror at what his eyes beheld. As he stared up at the ceiling of the bedroom, he noticed in the shadows of the dark room lurked a figure. Something was on the ceiling. At first he thought maybe it was he and Paul's shadows but that couldn't be. Their shadows were cast upon the opposite wall. There on the ceiling, as real as anything he had seen or touched before was a man…a being. It appeared like a large wolf in the shape and stature of a man, covered with black fur. Its eyes glowed red with the fires of hell. But it had an upright posture, like that of a human man. But perhaps what Brady found most disturbing was the set of hooves it had instead of feet and a set of horns protruding from behind its ears. It leered down at Brady with a sinister razor sharp toothed grin. And all the while he didn't see or hear it…but felt it whispering … _"hate me…curse me...fuck me…."_

"You worthless little bitch! Too fucking scared to talk back now, huh?" Paul leered down at Brady as the boy began to cry. He turned his head away from Paul…not wanting to see the beautiful man who tormented him nor the wolf like demon on the ceiling. But Paul wouldn't have that. He took a hold of Brady's chin, forcing the boy to look at him.

"You got it wrong boy, you're the one nobody fucking loves! I had no fucking choice but to take your sorry ass in! Anyone could have taken you in..Billy, Sue, Harry..But I got stuck with you because they didn't want you! Don't you get it! Nobody fucking wants a faggot like you." Paul explained.

"Stop it Paul…" Brady begged as he saw the wolf demon hanging up against the ceiling laughing right along with Paul. Brady wondered if Paul could see it or knew it was there but apparently, Paul couldn't see it. Only Brady could. Only he was afraid of it.

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Paul screamed, slapping Brady again.

"Stop it, please Paul…it hurts." Brady cried. Paul looked at Brady and stopped, his heart beat quickening as he took a hold of Brady's chin and looked at the boy beneath him. He always found him so fascinating. Paul knew part of the reason he felt the need to hit him so much was just an excuse to touch him…if only for a little while. But Paul didn't know why. Until he thought of Seth…and Jacob, and his smile grew wider. He was always curious about what it was gay men did. He had even tried anal on a few of his girlfriends before. They hadn't liked it as he was forceful and unforgiving, but why should he have to wait now? Paul began to smirk as the thought occurred to him that he had a tight and fresh hole waiting for him here all this time. Paul took hold of Brady's shirt and ripped it over his head and off his body. He then took his waist and flipped him over onto his stomach without warning. Brady cried as Paul ripped his pants off and yanked them down with one tug.

"Holy shit boy, your legs are as soft and smooth as a bitch's." Paul laughed as he felt up Brady's legs. Brady squirmed, not wanting this. In his heart he had dreamt of something like this…where Paul willingly loved him and treated him gently and with care and genuine compassion. But this was far from it. He didn't want what he feared was about to happen and not with that monster leaning up against the wall; looking down upon the two of them with glee.

"Stop fucking squirming, I'm not finished with you. I always wondered what fags had." Paul cursed. He brought his hands up to the lightly tanned and round mounds of Brady's butt and massaged them gently, loving the feel of the luscious globes in his hands. In one swift movement he spread them apart and hacking up a wad of saliva, he spat on Brady's exposed hole. Brady tried to squirm and move but this frustrated Paul and he reached his hand back and began punching at Brady's back. Brady cried as Paul beat his back multiple times.

"Please….Paul…stop." Brady cried out.

"Don't you fucking move you cunt!" Paul screamed. Not able to take it anymore, Paul couldn't ignore the lustful and sinful thoughts and desires that filled both his mind and groin. He sucked hard on his index and middle finger, keeping them together and quickly shoved them inside of Brady's exposed anal entrance as far as he could.

Brady screamed like he never had screamed before. The searing and burning pain was too much for him. He had never experienced a pain like this before. It was hot and stinging and intrusive as the sphincter muscles of his virgin hole attempted to push back on the intruding fingers. He begged and pleaded for Paul to pull them out but this only prompted Paul to drive them deeper as he began pulling his fingers in and out of the young boy.

"My god, you're probably loving this aren't you? If you want to be a fag so much, maybe I should start treating you like one from now on." Paul teased as he continued to finger fuck the boy underneath him. He loved seeing Brady writhe and squirm in pain as he pretended the boy was feeling pleasure. But Paul wanted more than this...he didn't want him in pain this way…he was just so confused. He wanted Brady to writhe in pleasure.

"Paul stop…don't do this…." Brady cried into the mattress his face was mashed against. This caused Paul to stop as he realized just how much he was hurting Brady. He looked down as he pulled his fingers out of the swollen anus of Brady that was wet with spit and some blood at the tearing of skin Paul had caused at being too rough. He couldn't stop this now though, even if he wanted. A need filled him. All powerful...all consuming.

"You got a nice little pussy down here. I guess it'll make do." Paul spat as he removed his own shirt. He slid his pants off, pulling them down with his socks and boxers as he lowered himself on top of Brady, grinding himself against Brady's naked body. His cock rubbed against the boy's soft butt and tingles of pleasure rushed forward making his already hard member even harder. Paul took Brady by the waist and flipped him over violently, making the younger boy lay on his back. Brady gasped in horror as his eyes rested on the figure on the wall…the wolf…or demon…or whatever it was. It smiled maniacally as it laughed with a hundred voices; its leathery black wings began flapping about. Brady turned his gaze to Paul whose face wore confusion and fear.

"What do you mean? Please don't Paul…" Brady begged.

"Too bad for you that you're so fucking tight down here. It's going to hurt like shit." Paul said as he spit in his hand and rubbed it along the length of his hard cock. His swollen member pulsated and throbbed at the prospect of being inside the boy and Paul couldn't take it any longer. He had to get inside him. Without anymore words, Paul spread Brady's legs apart, opening his ass cheeks to line up the boy's virgin hole with his wet and swollen cock. In a swift movement, Paul gripped Brady's thighs like a vice as he shoved his cock inside the warm and wet hole completely.

Brady cried and screamed until he felt his throat going soar.

"Stop fucking crying and acting like you don't love this." Paul cursed.

Paul's dick inside him was much bigger than the two fingers he had probed the boy with but at least at this point it was a dull pain that he had grown accustomed to. The stinging pain began to subside as a feeling of fullness took over. His back and face still hurt from the beating they took and now he was being raped against his will. But Brady couldn't deny the fact that he was excited. His smaller cock sprung to life in-between him and Paul as their bodies writhed against one another. Paul pulled Brady's legs to wrap around his waist as he thrust into the tight hole as far as he could go. Brady knew this was wrong...but he couldn't help the tinge of ecstasy as the pain began to dull and the feel of Paul's large dick grazing his insides, pushing further and further into him made him feel a pleasure he had never experienced before.

"Damn Brady, so fucking deep. You're pussy ass is so tight….feels so fucking warm. Fuck that's so good." Paul growled out as he began to pull out his cock until only the large mushroom head was in, then he plunged right back in. Brady moaned and gasped at the sensation. But he cringed as he looked up to see the wolf creature on the ceiling licking it's lips while chanting _"fuck me"_ over and over again.

Paul leaned up to view his handy work and satisfaction at the feeling of his dick being enveloped by Brady's tight hole. It sent shock waves through his whole body, from his head to his feet making his toes curl. He began a steady fucking rhythm as he started to thrust in and out of the boy beneath him.

"That's it Brady. I like my bitches on their back where they can see me. Now take that cock like a good little fag." Paul sneered. But somehow Paul couldn't be just satisfied with hurting Brady. He wanted him to feel something…he wanted to feel something as well. He took a hold of Brady's chin and slowly he brought their lips together as he kissed the boy for the first time. Paul was surprised at the difference of kissing Brady and a girl. Brady's mouth was small, but inviting and innocent. It was shy and reluctant and provided the perfect balance for Paul's domineering personality. Paul plunged his tongue past Brady's lips, kissing the boy deeply as he fucked him.

"Oh god...Paul." Brady whined trying to ignore Paul's groans of ecstasy and the demonic beast that laughed at him from above.

"Brady….look at me. Come on look at me…. doesn't this feel so nice? My god, it's amazing inside you. Never fucking felt this amazing before."" Paul groaned in ecstasy as he continued to thrust his cock in and out of Brady's warm and tight entrance. The feel of the younger man's hot and wet hole gripping his throbbing member like a vice kept pushing the older wolf to the edge and he secretly wondered how he had held off attacking the boy for as long as he did. But as Paul looked down at Brady and saw the pleasure and sadness mixed together in his eyes, something in him wanted Brady to enjoy this. Paul couldn't understand it. He cared for the boy, that much he knew...but some part of him wanted him to love him in that moment. Paul wanted Brady to want this as badly as he did.

"Does it still hurt? Feels fucking good now, doesn't it?" Paul moaned in husky voice, close to Brady's ear. Brady moaned in approval, feeling disgusted as he kept his eyes shut. He looked fearfully up at the ceiling and found the dark figure looking hateful and fearful now which was quite different than before. He tried not to give in to the fear of what he was seeing and he wondered if maybe he was seeing things or if there really was something up on the wall staring down at him. But whatever it was, it was fading in time with Paul's care and tenderness. Brady couldn't understand this at all but all he knew now was he felt abused but loved all at once as he focused on the feel of Paul's dick sliding in and out of him rapidly, the head of Paul's throbbing dick massaging his inner prostate; pushing them both closer to orgasm.

"Paul…" Brady whispered. He dared to look away from the ceiling and at Paul's face instead and the care and love he saw in those angry eyes that always treated him hatefully made Brady cry again as he wept out a sob of relief, sadness and pleasure. Paul looked at the fragile boy beneath him and felt something in his heart stir. Could he really love him? He loved the way their bodies melded together so perfectly, with his larger muscles framed perfectly around Brady's smaller and slender one. Paul knew he always wanted this. He always wanted to rape the boy that was thrust upon him when his parent's died. Paul would never admit loving him…but he knew he wanted to force himself on the boy in some way or another...but he never realized until now how much he wanted to make love to him. He wanted Brady in this moment to see him as something other than a monster.

"Come on Bray….say my name again." Paul encouraged as he kept thrusting his hips forward, grinding his cock into Brady. As Paul started kissing Brady again, he reached down with a hand, taking a hold of Brady's own cock and began stroking; jerking the younger man off in time with his own thrusts. He couldn't believe how amazing this felt. It was like a jolt was pushing through him, pushing him to the edge of release. He had never felt this way with any woman he had ever bedded and began asking himself if after this he could ever go back to anything that wasn't Brady.

"Fuck it...Brady this is fucking amazing. I gotta fucking breed you. Come on, take my seed." Paul growled out in an animalistic tone. The growl almost scared Brady but when he looked up he saw the caring eyes of confusion and frustration that were Paul's looking down on him with pleasure and love. He didn't know what to feel. How could he enjoy this rape? It was like the two of their thoughts were one as Paul began asking himself as well. _"I'm raping him…but I want him to enjoy this…I need him to need this as much as I do."_

"Paul…it…I…" Brady moaned out softy as the sensation of Paul pounding into him began to build up, more and more. The more Paul penetrated him, his cock head thrust against Brady's prostate gland and it was like it was pushing him higher and higher up a mountain of euphoria until he began reaching a peak where it was like Paul was fucking his own seed out of him. Paul seeing how close Brady was smirked in satisfaction as he kissed Brady roughly. Their tongues danced with one another as they both struggled for breath. Paul wrestled the younger boy's mouth for dominance with his tongue as they panted heavily like dogs.

"I know babe, come on. Come for me. Show me your little wolf cum." Paul teased lustfully as he moved from Brady's face to the young wolf's neck and began kissing and suckling at the succulent virgin flesh, all the while still fucking him over and over. Paul became feral but still remained loving as his hands groped everywhere and he pounded the little boy beneath him a power and ferocity that could have broken any one of the girls he normally screwed. He wanted his little wolf to feel his seed...some secret part of him wanted to claim the boy for his own so that he would always know who owned him…who loved him. And it was in that moment that he realized why he was so frustrated and hateful towards Brady….he loved him.

"Oh god…." Paul cried out of pleasure and the epiphany of a lifetime. He thrust harder and harder, gripping at the lightly tanned and smooth legs of Brady, pulling them tighter around his waist so that he could penetrate deeper and deeper. It was like he was sinking further and further into the younger one, both physically and emotionally. He cursed and swore, but not at Brady but at the intensity of their love making as he savagely mated the young wolf, the sweat of their bodies mingling and the smell of wolf sex permeating throughout the room.

Brady sighed and groaned, desperate to catch his breath as he felt like the heat of the sex would consume him. As he dared one last look at the wall, he noticed that the dark figure had disappeared completely. It was as if Pau's anger and hatred towards him had summoned the apparition within the room and as Paul began to make love to him out of care and genuine passion, the demon couldn't take it and fled. Now Brady could fully focus on Paul and lose himself in the passion the two were creating. Brady had to admit to himself how wonderful this felt, fully and finally submitting himself to Paul; giving himself completely to the older man whom he had come to fear and hate all these years. He writhed on the bed as Paul continued fucking him, the older man's sweaty and heavy balls slapping against Brady's ass as he felt Paul's cock sink deeper and deeper into his being.

"Fuck yes." Paul groaned as his orgasm reached higher and higher. As he fucked Brady, he continued to stroke the boy as well; wanting them both to feel their climax together. Paul wondered when he had become this considerate. He never worried about the other's feelings or sensations during sex, only his own. But something about Brady made him need this…made him need Brady to need this as well.

"Brady…." Paul gasped as he thrust one last time, his whole body flexing with Brady's in unison as their bodies were entwined in intimate sex. He came deeply in the boy, his seed filling Brady's ass to the brim. He came in torrents and waves, spurting almost seven times as he came like he never had before. The feeling was incredible and the feel of Paul's cock grazing and massaging against his prostate and the splashing of Paul's seed filling him inside made Brady peak as well and he started coming in waves from his cock as Paul continued to stroke him in time with his continued thrusting. They both rode out their orgasm together, both feeling nothing like that before in their lives. They felt as one, complete and fulfilled. And when Paul finally pulled his leaking member out of Brady….there were no words uttered. He simply held tight to the boy as sleep and exhaustion overtook them both.

* * *

The next morning, the rains seem to pour over La Push as if heaven were opening and weeping from the clouds of despair that he seemed to gather over the reservation for the past couple of weeks. At the Black household, the constant pattering against the fragile glass windows awoke a girl who had been lost in deep slumber from an exhausting night with a man she loved. She rolled over onto her side until she faced the russet skinned beauty that had been a dear friend of hers for years before her feelings grew beyond understanding. He took her in his arms, but clearly she could see he was lost, as if his mind were millions of miles away.

"Um…...morning." Bella smiled. Jacob glanced down at her from his side of the bed where he was sitting upright. He nodded his head absently as Bella shifted to sit up in bed and lean against him.

Thanks for having me over last night." Bella said as she laid her head on Jacob's strong chest, feeling his steady heartbeat. Something she couldn't get when she was with Edward.

"No problem." Jacob replied mechanically.

After yet another fight between her and the cold one, Bella ran to Jacob all too quickly; her comfort zone. Never one to turn the porcelain complexioned girl away and relishing in the fact that she had chose to run to him instead of back to Edward, Jacob welcomed her with open arms after he had gotten back from the pack meeting. After all he loved this girl with everything he had in him. Or so he kept telling himself lately. Of course the promise of wild untamed sex for hours on end didn't hurt either. Anything was a welcomed distraction to keep his mind from dwelling on the events of last night's pack meeting.

"This is nice you know …Just hanging with friends sometimes." Bella went on as she nonchalantly ran her hand across Jacob's broad defined chest. Her hand grazed one of his nipples and though it hardened automatically at her touch as she stopped to play with it; Jacob had to admit it was doing nothing for him down there. It was in moments like these that Jacob found himself questioning his sanity as his mind continuously went back to Seth. If Jacob were honest with himself, it would be Seth who he had just fucked ten times over and lying next to him right now. And just that thought alone made him feel nauseated and disgusted at the idea of Bella or any female for that matter touching him like she was now. _But isn't it wrong to feel like this?_ Jacob continued to ask himself. What scared him most was that he found himself losing confidence in his resolve more and more these days and that frustrated him to no end. Jacob didn't know who he should be angry with. Seth? Bella? Himself?

"Edward and the Cullens must have been too busy last night, huh?" Jacob asked tersely, not trying in the least to hide his resentment at the fact that he felt used.

"No? Um...…why?" Bella inquired right back, turning her head to look at him questioningly.

"Well I mean, you called me up after the pack meeting to ask if you could come over…..I figured you just wanted to fuck around." Jacob went on nonchalantly as if he couldn't care less as he stared aimlessly at the ceiling to avoid Bella's gaze. A chill went up Bella's back as she felt the tension building between them and she couldn't understand why.

"Jake…that's not why I asked to hang out. I….I missed you. We haven't talked since…well….I….just wanted to spend some time with you." Bella assured. But she couldn't shake the feeling that something was off. She rather preferred the protective and dedicated Jacob who always chose her above everyone, who always put her first, who made love to her last night and many nights before behind Edwards's back. Bella knew she was being selfish...she would admit that. But she couldn't take the thought of Jacob not wanting her. "Jake….are you...alright?"

"Yeah, I'm cool." Jacob answered coldly. He stretched out his muscles as he sat up to remove himself from Bella's embrace and pulled the sweat soaked bed sheet off of him as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He reached over to his nightstand and grabbed the bottle of last night's beer, taking a swig of it before swallowing the amber liquid which had grown stale in the sex filled night.

"Jacob…you're not alright. You've hardly said anything to me since I got here last night. I admit last night was nice and all…but I wanted to talk to you. ...really talk. All you did was keep fucking me and I thought we…I mean…I came over to spend time with you." Bella tried to reason as she tried to hug him from behind. Jacob brushed her touch away from the warm russet skin of his immaculate body.

"Are you sure about that? Don't you mean Cullen was too busy to amuse you?" Jacob said accusingly.

"No! No…Jake, how could you think that?" Bella replied, shock and hurt written on her face. Jacob jerked his head around with a sarcastic smile, laughing mockingly at her.

"Are you fucking kidding me with this? That's the only reason you're even with me now. I'm always your second option." Jacob spat as he stood up to grab his jeans from off the floor.

"Jake, I would not do that to you. I care about you, you know that." Bella replied.

"Yeah, care…but not love, right?" Jacob corrected her. Bella's head dropped, not wanting to see Jacob staring down at her angrily. She wrapped the sheet around her as she stood from the too small bed that had seen too much loveless sex between the two of them.

"Jake you know I love you ….just….I just…" Bella couldn't explain how she felt.

"You just love him more. Just say it and stop bullshitting with me!" Jacob shouted. Bella turned to Jacob with just as much vigor feeling resentment building in her at his accusations and condemnation when she knew he was not all too blameless.

"Don't act like I'm the only one at fault. I may be easy when it comes to you but Jake you know how much I care about you….it's hard not to love you. Just what do you want me to do? I care for both you and Edward, but I can't just pick one over the other. You think it's easy for me here? I can't hurt you both like that." Bella answered. Jacob huffed in frustration at her ignorance and selfishness.

"Bella, what the hell? If you don't pick one of us you'll end up hurting both of us. At least if you admit that you're choosing him then we can just be friends and I can finally move on, but don't keep giving me false hope. You're killing me here. I'm not going to share you with him!" Jacob shouted so loud Bella thought the walls would tremble, but she couldn't back down or turn away even though inside she was trembling. It was this side of Jacob that Bella hated. The stubborn, accusing, unrelenting and harsh side that he usually only showed towards cold ones or the pack when they irritated him...but she couldn't stand that side directed at her.

"Jacob, why can't we just….fine…if you don't love me than just…." Bella began. But seeing the hurt in her eyes seemed to only irritate Jacob all the more because he knew that was Bella's tactic for getting what she wanted. It worked on Edward, it worked on her father, it worked on the Cullens and most of all it worked on him. Jacob knew he hated to see Bella cry for anything but now he felt so tired of her always getting what she wanted and him not getting what he wanted. That was one thing Jacob did miss about Seth. No matter how upset Seth was, he tried to hide his pain from everyone including g Jacob because he was humble and considerate and didn't want to bother others with his pain; even when Jacob used to encourage him that he could tell him anything. So much for promises.

"Stop fucking crying Bella. Save that bullshit for someone who cares." Jacob spat as he looked around the room for Bella's clothing. He couldn't really place where this anger was coming from but he just knew that he was done with her and he wanted her out of his house immediately.

"Jake, you're such a jerk sometimes. What are you doing now? Kicking me out like some whore? Jake I'm not one of your weekend rez bitches that you can fuck and forget about. I'm your best friend." Bella reminded him. Jacob froze at the title. "I used to have a best friend…a real best friend who was always there for me and who knew me better than I knew myself at times but things change." Jacob thought to himself as images of what he did to Seth last night came flooding his mind. He tossed and turned all night with nightmares of it but he couldn't shake the feeling that something felt off and even though he hated Seth….he wished he hadn't let him go off in the woods alone after the pack meeting.

"There you go again, throwing that fucking word in my face again. I've told you before; friends don't feel the way we do for each other so stop trying to cling to that word like a god damn safety net. We haven't been just friends for a long time. That changed years ago when you opened up your legs and gave me your pussy like some bitch in heat the first chance you got." Jacob spat.

"Jake you're so fucking gross. You know that! And nothing has changed. And if you want to start calling names, let me remind about some unfinished business you clearly have with Seth, anytime you're calling out his name when you're supposed to be making love to me." Bella ranted with venom on every word. She hated when they had to fight like this but her words did more damage than she could have thought when she saw Jacob's back muscles stiffen and he froze completely.

"What the hell did you say to me?" Jacob yelled as he whipped around to face Bella.

"You fucking heard me?" Bella replied just as threateningly. Before Bella could think, Jacob had his hand around her throat and her against the wall. It wasn't necessarily a choking hold which left her short of breath but the shock and abruptness of it all as he simply held her restrained against the wall. But at this point Bella wasn't convinced or impressed. She had spent the better part of her days with vampires who were more prone to killing than just simple childish outbursts like wolves. However Bella couldn't deny the fact that she was still scared that Jacob would strike her in such a way as he held her there.

"Don't you EVER FUCKIGN SAY THAT TO ME AGAIN?" Jacob said with the upmost hatred and venom in his words. He didn't know why but her words at struck a chord within him. Maybe it was the fact that she had referred to Seth after everything that had been happening between the two; especially last night. He just wanted to forget about it all. He coldly locked eyes with Bella who merely looked at him with disdain.

"Don't you ever fucking touch me like that again or I'll tell Edward and he will kill you." Bella scoffed as she gripped her hands around Jacob's in attempt to free herself however she knew she could never pry his hands away by force with her average human strength. "Now let me go Jake."

It felt as if they stared at each other for an eternity until they heard a knocking at the front door which broke the silence immediately. Looking back at Bella, Jacob released her immediately as realization sunk in at what he was doing.

"Sorry…uh…" Jacob tried to get out but he couldn't find the words. He was still angry and he could feel the tremors within his being begin to reverberate but he knew there was no excuse for treating Bella in such a way. But he couldn't be bothered to apologize anymore as Bella turned from him and stalked towards his window. Jacob sighed and raced toward the door sensing an all too familiar scent catch his wolf nose.

Downstairs, Billy Black opened the front door to see a rain soaked Seth standing there with a covered box and his eyes downcast at the floor. Billy sighed heavily at seeing the young boy taking into account everything that had gone down between Seth and the pack. Although he didn't go to the pack meetings Billy himself had been present at the Elder meeting several days ago when they too agreed with Jacob and the pack's decision to exile Seth. Billy couldn't understand why Seth would want to be what the others called a faggot. It just didn't make sense to the older traditional father of the pack alpha and the fact that it could potentially hinder and keep Jacob from furthering his destiny of continuing on the Quileute line upset him greatly.

"Hi Mr. Black." Seth greeted meekly. In his hands he held a large box covered with a lid and a towel. He had tried to put on a brave face but inside he was scared and dying. This morning his mother asked him to take over some food she had cooked for Billy and Jacob. Seth begged his mother to not make him. After all, wasn't she aware of what he had endured last night at the hands of the pack? Now here she was sending him head first into the lion's din with a steak in his hand But Sue was a stern, stubborn and inconsiderate woman at times and after screams and shouts were exchanged she forced Seth out of the house with the food lecturing him how it would be a great opportunity for him to apologize to the Blacks for all of the drama he had been causing lately and for being such a burden. It hurt Seth that not only the pack, his people and the elders saw him as a burden but his own mother hating him he just couldn't cope with.

"Seth? Wh.…what are you doing here at this hour?" Billy asked tiredly as he looked Seth up and down with agitation. Seth shifted nervously from foot to foot.

"Oh…um…I just came to drop this by. My mom thought you and Jake might be hungry. She prepared some meals for the week so you guys wouldn't be too stressed with cooking." Seth answered, keeping his head down.

"Well Sue is always thinking of others and she's an amazing cook. Bring it in here; I need to talk to you anyway." Billy replied grimly. Seth nodded his head and followed Billy obediently, reminded of days long ago when he was welcomed instead of unwanted. This house was like a second home to Seth once. The Blacks and the Clearwaters had always been close and their sons' friendship was the center and core of that. But those days were over.

"Set it on the table there." Billy directed as he wheeled around to face Seth full on.

"Um…okay." Seth followed Billy in, feeling like a criminal for how he was being spoken to. Although being in a wheelchair left Billy shorter than Seth vertically; the stern and chastising stare he gave Seth made the younger man feel shorter than any mouse at the moment.

"Seth, sit down please." Billy commanded, more than asked. Seth did as he was told, refusing to look Billy in the eyes.

"Now Seth I'm just going to ask you this once because I don't have all the facts but I want to know just what kind of relationship you've been having with my son." Billy demanded sternly. Seth's head shot up immediately.

"What…what do you mean?" Seth asked nervously.

"Seth, don't act stupid with me. You know what the hell I'm talking about." Billy berated the younger man. Seth felt like a whipped and helpless child as she tried hard to stay brave and keep his eyes from watering.

"Billy…I…I don't know what you've heard from the others but there's nothing….there's nothing going on." Seth replied but Billy halted his explanation.

"I think I've heard enough. The whole damn council has. It's bad enough for you to confess to Jacob, but to go around telling everybody on the rez about this crap! How do you think that makes Jacob feel, huh? Did you even consider that?" Billy asked disapprovingly. Seth couldn't believe his ears. Ever since his secret had gotten out, everyone had pointed him out as the monster here when he knew there was nothing he had done wrong. But who would believe him? Looking back on it now, Seth thought maybe he was wrong for admitting his feelings. He supposed it was inconsiderate and selfish of him and if he had known the outcome would be so disastrous than he would have took his secret to the grave.

"Billy please, I didn't tell anyone but Jake! I swear! I never told anyone else! Jake told the pack, and who knows who else they told. That's how it got out!" Seth revealed. But Billy scoffed at him, thinking the boy was merely lying to save his own skin.

"ENOUGH! DON'T LIE TO YOUR ELDERS! Now I can't always keep an eye on Jacob because he's an adult now so what he does is his business, but I'll whip your ass myself if I find out you two have been messing around together." Billy shouted, the thought of Seth coming onto his son angering him by the second.

"Billy, it's nothing like that. We didn't do anything! I swear!" Seth cried. His eyes betrayed him as he felt tears spill from them. He hated crying in front of others but he was sensitive to others' words and feelings and the merest provocation could make his eyes reveal the sadness they held like the parting of flood gates. Seeing this, Billy sighed heavily as he tried to speak calmly to the overemotional boy.

"Look Seth, don't be such a baby about everything. You are a man, aren't you? I'm just saying, you being exiled is for the pack's own good. Besides, this is hard for Jake now that everyone knows about it and I don't want him to feel obligated to remain your friend just because of this. So just stay away from my son, you hear?" Billy commanded, Seth nodding solemnly.

"Yes sir." Seth tried wiping away the tears splashing down his face.

"Look Seth….Jacob's a gifted kid, he's special. It's his birth right to take over the pack as alpha and usher in the new generation, to protect the future of our tribe…and I want him to fulfill that destiny, not get caught up in this homosexual nonsense…..whatever that shit is called." Billy said with disdain as he thought of the whole thing.

"Billy...I…I…don't understand why you're saying this to me. I've never done anything to Jacob." Seth confessed.

"I'm just being honest Seth. I don't care about what you want to do with your life. But my son is no faggot, you hear me? And I'm not going to have you coming back around here giving him grief, do you understand me?" Billy asked, making sure Seth understood.

"Yes…yes sir." Seth hurriedly began to rise from his chair only to look up and see Jacob stepping into the room hurriedly. As their eyes locked, fresh tears welled up inside of Seth. He ached and longed to be held, to be kissed, to be held by Jacob but he knew now that was only something of dreams. Just seeing Jacob with his sharp and dark eyes, a slight five o clock shadow forming around his strong jaw line, his broad and muscled shoulders that were bare without any clothing to hide their beauty caused Seth to tremble. It was like falling in love at first sight once again only this time there was no hope, knowing how much Jacob hated him after last night.

"Dad, what's going on here?" Jacob asked hotly as he stared at Seth with a stone cold glare, noticing a slight scar just above Seth's eyebrow where he had attacked him last night when in wolf form.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jacob shouted at Seth before Billy could answer his son.

"It's alright Jake. Calm down. Seth was just leaving." Billy calmly said turning to Jacob trying to get the younger man to settle own before he would burst into his wolf form. Jacob didn't even hear or acknowledge his father. All he could see was Seth and agitation began accelerating within the pit of his stomach.

"Outside now!" Jacob commanded, cocking his head toward the door as a sign for Seth to follow. Not needing to be told twice, Seth scurried quietly behind Jacob as he made his way outside onto the porch.

"Just what the fuck do you want Clearwater?" Jacob pushed Seth once they were on the porch. Caught unaware, Seth stumbled back until his back hit one of the banisters on the porch rails. He dared not cry out in pain out of fear of angering Jacob further but he couldn't help his eyes which betrayed him every time. And seeing Seth like this in so much pain made Jacob struggle with is his words as he looked at the younger man that he loved so much. But that love was wrong. And knowing that Seth was to blame for those feelings pissed Jacob off.

"Jake please…..I didn't come to fight with you." Seth said keeping his head down.

"Then get the fuck off my property." Jacob replied curtly as he pointed toward the porch steps.

"Please Jake….do you really hate me that much that you won't even hear me out?" Seth asked, wondering if Jacob truly no longer cared for him. How could years of love and friendship just be forgotten so quickly?

"Why the hell should I even waste my time? You're out of the pack now!" Jacob asked back rudely his impatience growing with each passing second. He hated the fact that his eyes kept going over the contours and shape of Seth's slim and tight body wondering what it would be like to hold the boy in his arms and love him the way he wanted. This battle continued to rage within him and he knew no one else to blame…so the guilty one had to be Seth. Or so Jacob kept repeating to himself. Seth looked away from Jacob's hate filled face and to the driveway, seeing Bella's red faded truck.

"Bella's here…isn't she?" Seth asked quietly not really wanting to know the answer. At his questioning, Jacob smirked cockily.

"So what if she is? You mad that I've been fucking her all this time and not you?" Jacob laughed coldly.

"Jake…I'm sorry….look, I didn't mean to bother you it's just… I know you still hate me but latching yourself on to Bella is not going to help. I know she's your friend and I know she means well but…don't you think in a way she's being selfish by trying to have both you and Edward ." Seth reasoned, trying to ignore the fact that Jacob was purposely trying to hurt him. This caused Jacob's face to contort into a sour glare.

"What the hell are you trying to say?" Jacob shouted as he stepped threateningly toward Seth who backed further way in response.

"I'm just saying…Jake…she's not good for you. When you're with her, you're different." Seth said, his voice shaking from the upcoming tears.

"What's that supposed to mean? I'm not good enough for her?" Jacob shot back.

"No Jake! I wasn't trying to say that at all. I just…I always thought you….were…..too good for her." Seth answered. Jacob's face softened at the realization that had always been there. Everything Seth did was for him…for his well being and Jacob found it more and more difficult to hold to his resolve knowing full well Seth did everything he could to look out for him. The fact that Seth felt Jacob was better than Bella made Jacob's heart swell a bit and it felt nice for once to know that someone felt that way about him since he always felt inadequate to Bella. Trying to disregard the feelings he knew, Jacob merely scoffed.

"Like you even give a shit." Jacob replied.

"Jake I've always cared about you, more than you even can realize. That's why we're in this mess now." Seth stated simply in a solemn tone.

"No, this is about you being selfish and not getting what you want. Just admit it; you're just mad I'm fucking her and not you. You need to get it through your head that I don't do fags." Jacob replied with a satisfied smirk on his face seeing Seth's face break in sadness again; satisfied at the hurt he had instilled on his former friend.

"Is that what you think I wanted from you? You really think all I wanted was sex?" Seth asked with shock.

"Seth, you're pathetic you know that. You're a guy, start acting like one. I know you only had one thing on your mind." Jacob teased.

"You couldn't be more wrong, but I guess that just proves how much you don't know me." Seth replied coldly. Hearing this made Jacob reach over in a flash and grab Seth by the scruff of his shirt collar, pulling him close to him in an intimidating manner.

"Don't try to be a fucking smartass. Just accept it. I rejected you." Jacob spat as he pushed Seth away again. _How dare he try to say I don't know him?_ Jacob thought to himself. After all the years he had known him and thought they both knew each other inside and out Jacob was proven wrong by the revelation of Seth's confession and for Seth to throw in his face that he may not have known him angered him. Jacob may not have wanted the feelings he had for Seth or the feelings Seth had for him but he had known Seth. It was Seth who betrayed his trust and changed for the worst by being a faggot.

"And stop wearing that DAMN THING!" Jacob shouted angrily as he saw the special momentum he had given the younger man hanging form around his neck. It was the silver dream catcher necklace he had gifted to Seth for his birthday. Just seeing it brought back memories of their friendship, causing Jacob to harden his resolve to hurt Seth as much as he could to kill his love for him and push him away.

"But…Jake…you gave this to me." Seth stepped back, clutching at the dream catcher necklace protectively with fear.

"I said take it off now." Jacob threatened in an ominous tone.

"No, it's mine…" Seth began, trying to run but Jacob grabbed him roughly by the arm; turning him back around and grabbed at the necklace.

"Jake…please don't…." Seth pleaded as they wrestled for the necklace. But Jake was far too strong for him.

"God damn it, give it to me." Jacob cursed as he held fast to the necklace, pulling at it and trying to push Seth at the same time.

"Jake please stop….." Seth struggled to hold tight to the necklace as Jacob pulled violently at it but desperate to get it by any means Jacob reached his palm backwards and struck Seth harshly with a deafening slap that seemed to resonate even with the ever pouring morning rain. Seth fell back as Jacob finally ripped the necklace form around Seth's neck and out of his grasp. Stumbling to the floor with his bruised cheek cradled in one hand, Seth looked up to see Jacob glaring down at him with vengeful and hateful eyes that had haunted him ever since that day he confessed. He tried to stand up as not to be seen as weak or below Jake but he could barely keep himself together as his inner sobs threatened to leak out.

"I guess you thought I would just return your feelings and fuck you, huh? You think just because we were best friends I would think of you like that, huh?" Jacob shouted, pushing Seth up against the wall and holding Seth's arms above his head with one hand. Jacob moved his face closer to Seth's mockingly daring their lips to touch. Seth was shocked and not knowing what to do, turned his face away from the malice he saw.

"Is that what you wanted baby boy? You fucking dreamed of this didn't you?" Jacob mocked as his mouth hovered towards Seth's lips. Taking one had, Jacob grasped Seth's chin and forced his face to turn back to him.

"No…Jake…I…..didn't." Seth cried as he looked to one of Jacob's hands to see the older man still holding the necklace. Jacob saw him looking at the necklace and he quickly threw it to the floor where it broke. To ensure its destruction, Jacob stomped down on it with his heavy boot as they both heard the metallic crunch. Seth felt like his heart broke all over again along with the necklace…the symbol of their love and friendship.

"You're such a fag Seth." Jacob spat, as he crunched the metallic necklace beneath his foot again for good measure. He turned back to Seth with anger knowing he had to hurt the boy. He hated him. He wanted to see him cry in pain knowing how much he loved him. Didn't he? The confusion was frustrating and Jacob couldn't take it. Seth's tears annoyed him further as if he was the one in the wrong.

"My god, you're going to cry again, aren't you?" Jacob rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"No…I…I just don't understand how you can treat me like this….I'm still the same person….you used to care about me, we were best friends…." Seth began as Jacob quickly interrupted him.

"Seth, save the guilt trip and sympathy for someone who gives a damn. We used to be friends until you confessed that you're some faggot that's been lying to me all these years. What did you expect?" Jacob asked coldly.

"Jake…please…don't use that word…it hurts." Seth cried.

"What? Faggot, queer, homosexual, Bitch? You're all the same." Jacob mocked with a laugh….even though he knew there was nothing whatsoever funny about this. "Are your tears supposed to make me feel bad or something?" Jacob accused.

"No….I just…I never thought you could hurt me so much." Seth answered.

"You know, I'm getting really sick and tired of you trying to guilt me, like I'm the one that's in the wrong. You're the one that's been lying to me all this time, who betrayed me and turned out to be just some cock sucking freak. I told you I don't want to be friends with you anymore, so get out before I throw you out." Jacob warned Seth as he pushed the smaller man but he didn't pay attention where Seth was standing which was at the edge of the porch, knocking the younger man down the three steps. Seth whelped as he fell back and hit the gravel hard ground, splashing in the puddle of water that had collected from the rains. Jacob panicked as he ran down the few steps to see if Seth was okay. He didn't realize what he had done till it was too late. Even though Jacob had lashed out at Seth while they both were in human form, he would never do that while they were both in human form. The fall alone looked as if it hurt while Seth was still in human form. Jacob was about to reach out and help Seth up, wanting to make sure he was okay before he caught himself. Wasn't this what he wanted? Didn't he hate him? But he couldn't stand seeing him this way….maybe he was taking this too far. All Jacob knew was that…it hurt, more and more. And it was getting harder and harder to hate Seth.

"S…Seth…uh….are you alright…I didn't mean to throw you down like that…I…." Jacob muttered darkly, not wanting to outwardly apologize. He grabbed Seth roughly by the arm and jerked him upright. Jacob looked to inspect Seth but the younger man kept his head down low, tears evident in his face even in the falling rain and Jacob's gaze again fell upon the slight scar just above Seth's eye brow and worry filled him. _Shouldn't that have healed by now?_

"Seth..…are you alright?" Jacob asked. Seth backed away as he felt his inner wolf stir. Seth had to admit this was unusual. He remembered it happening last night….the feelings of sorrow and despair urging him to shift against his will.

"You know what…you're right. You're all right. I'm nothing more than a queer...just a faggot like you said. But there's one more thing I'm guilty of." Seth said in a low whisper that Jacob barely heard as he tried to see his face.

"Um…..what is that?" Jacob asked somewhat cautiously not knowing where this was going as he didn't like the dark and solemn tone that Seth was speaking in. But when Seth looked up at him with tears falling from his eyes and empty eyes of hopelessness..…something in Jacob dropped like a weight in his heart.

"The fact that I used to see something special in you…. Now I see I was wrong. I'm sorry Jake….I'll make sure to stay out of your way…everyone's way…from now on." Seth said as he turned on his heels and ran away from the Black household in the rain.

Jacob couldn't understand, but something about how Seth spoke those words seemed much more different and effective than anything he had said before. It was like Jacob felt Seth admitting that he was giving up on his love for him...on the hope of them ever being friends again let alone something more. Jacob watched Seth disappear into the nearby woods and fought to control his feet which compelled him to move forward and follow. But what was he to do? Jacob stood there in the rain, watching as an overwhelming sadness overtook him. He thought of last night, of what he had done to Seth…of all the things he had said…and seeing Seth running away on his own…Jacob broke out into a sob realizing what he was doing was wrong. He was killing Seth….and now he could clearly see…he was killing himself as well.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE – Thank you so much for reading. I'm quite relieved to finally get these past two chapters out as this chapter is sort of a turning point in the plot. From here on out the story will begin to pick up. As I have stated to some of you in the April message, I really want this story finished by the end of 2012. As the twilight movie saga comes to a close later this year, so will this fic so I need to get on the ball lol. Many thanks to all of you who have been so supportive and continued to believe in the story. It still lives because of you. In the next couple of chapters we'll get back to Leah and find out where she's been and what's going on with her, We'll get to see more Embry and Collin, the aftermath of Paul and Brady, where the pack stands now, what Jacob is feeling and more clues will be revealed about Seth's haunting dreams.


	9. Something you can't escape

AUTHOR'S NOTE – Oh my gosh, where do I even begin? It's been forever since I've posted something lol I hope you all have been doing well and I hope everyone's 2013 is going great. I apologize for my long absence. Long story short, life seriously got in the way. Working two full time jobs really strained me for the better part of the past year plus being consumed by my own personal project of composing and recording an album left me very little time to focus on this story and finish it as I intended to. But I'm so thankful to everyone who has been so supportive of this story and continued to hold out hope that it would continue. I don't even think I got around to answering everyone's comments and messages yet because there were so many, but to everyone who wrote me a review or message please know that I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I love you all. I've said this before, this story only still exist because of you guys. I think some time ago I thought, twilight is over and maybe I should forget this story and move on but it's only because of you guys' wishes and support that this story is still breathing. Thank you so much.

P.S. – I owe each and every one of you a special shout out but I just want to give a special thanks to "the lady loves the dark". Thanks for your god like patience, your constant resilient belief in the story and for your support.

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The shadows of the trees from outside rustled and danced in the wind as the day began to give way to the late afternoon. As he looked up to the ceiling, he could see the contrasting of the shadows dance and tangle amongst the pale and peeling wall paint, reminding him of yet another chore he needed to add to his unending list. As he squinted his eyes, he brought his rough and calloused hands up to his face to wipe away the weary exhaustion of the previous night….the previous night….he quickly sat up as feelings and images became entwined with memories of lust and passion, desire and frustration…all consuming, all suffocating. Paul closed his eyes and sighed heavily as the weight of last night's truth came crashing upon him. From the pack's passing of judgment on Seth, to exiling him, to going out with the guys for a drink and something extra special Quil had rolled up and gave out to everyone and to him eventually coming home piss drunk and high and cornering Brady.

Brady…

Paul panicked as he mentally slapped himself for being too preoccupied with his own self realizations to wonder about Brady. But before he could even turn his head and cast his eyes upon the empty space beside him, he already knew it would be.

"Brady?" Paul whispered gently at the space where the young boy had laid beside him last night. Paul's eyes closed as the harsh reality of what had transpired came rushing back in full force. Everything from how he spoke to the boy…to how he…raped him. Paul clenched his teeth so hard he thought they would shatter as he repeated that word in his head over and over.

"_Rape…..Rape…..I raped him…."._

Paul glanced around at the tangled sheets, still somewhat damp from the unadulterated sex he had forced on the boy he was meant to protect, watch over and take care of like a brother. The Elders and the pack had entrusted him with the boy's life several years prior after the death of his parents. Paul always resented Brady for that, because he never wanted to be responsible for someone else…he never wanted to live for someone else but that's what he found himself doing day by day. Paul always knew he had some attraction towards the boy and while it terrified him…he didn't hate Brady for that. Paul could admit to himself that he was scared of the feelings he had but he always just pushed them down with hateful words and enough alcohol to lay waste to La Push. But having to live with the boy…. to take him into his home and see him grow more and more beautiful and handsome every day was too much for Paul. He didn't want to be this big brother….this care taker…but that's what he found himself doing. There were days when he would just go out to get laid with any willing woman with open legs, drink himself to death and smoke enough trees to kill any human but he always dragged himself back home in some form or another because he knew he couldn't leave Brady…not for anything in the world. And all Paul wanted, was to cover this up because maybe if he convinced Brady that he hated him…than he would someday convince himself. But last night…last night was just too far…..

"Fuck…God damn it!" Paul cursed as he picked up the night stand lamp and threw it at the nearest wall, the crashing and breaking was but a whisper compared to the explosion of turmoil taking place in Paul's mind. Glancing back at his nightstand, Paul read on the clock that it was nearly five o clock in the afternoon. He furrowed his eyebrows as he realized how late in the day it really was. Had he really slept that late? Was he that tired and wasted from the previous night's activities? As he looked out through the window, he could see the sun setting, a burnt tinge of orange that peeked out slightly from the parting gray clouds. It appeared as if it had rained heavily just hours before and Paul prayed that Brady hadn't been outside in the downpour. Seeing as how it was now the late afternoon, Paul realized he must not have woken or even stirred since last night and assumed Brady must have either left the house or wandered back to his own room. Frantically Paul pulled grabbed the nearest article of clothing he could find. His cut off denim jeans from the previous night were enough to cover up his stark nudity before leaving the bedroom and running down the hall towards Brady's room.

"Brady?!" Paul called out as he opened the door, only met with the silence of an empty room. Paul's heart fell towards his feet at the sudden epiphany that maybe Brady had finally had enough. "_What if he finally left? What if he gave up on putting up with my shit and just ran off?" _ Paul thought to himself.

"Brady?! BRAY!" Paul began to holler and yell as he ran through the small house knowing full well Brady was gone. Paul raced through the house until he came to the backdoor of the house. Looking out into the back yard, Paul observed the thicket of woods that stretched throughout the reservation, wondering if maybe Brady had left through the woods. The thought terrified him, but why? Shouldn't he be glad he was rid of him? Paul closed his eyes in frustration as emotions and thoughts invaded his every being, fighting and forcing him to face the truth. Paul didn't want to care about Brady. He hated him. He wanted him gone. He was nothing, just a worthless bastard faggot that he had beaten, raped and used. Paul thought of how he took the boy's innocence last night…how satisfying it felt to take what he felt he deserved. But when Paul saw the terrified and broken eyes of Brady piercing into his heart…he knew that Brady cared for him in some way…but was too afraid…too afraid of seeing Paul as anything more…than a monster.

"_Am I really a monster?"_

As Paul burst through the back door, he ran with all his might towards the woods, his bare feet hitting the harsh wet ground and gaining momentum and strength until at last dark gray paws replaced those feet as he morphed into his giant wolf form. He sped into the late afternoon, thankful for the cover of the endless woods that had concealed his kind from the prying eyes of nosy humans for centuries as he hastened to find the boy he had wronged…the boy he knew he couldn't live without.

As Paul raced on, hours seemed to pass by and the afternoon began to die off into night as darkness had fallen little by little and all too soon, Paul could see the hauntingly bright moon hanging in the sky and the endless rustling of the forest life. With the coming of night, came a chill and a thick fog that made his search all the more challenging. Paul huffed as he ran at lighting speeds through the forest, his every senses tingling and itching to find the scent that he drank in last night with carnal thirst. But as he thought more on it, that carnal desire began to ebb away as he found himself discovering what he had tried for so long to ignore and deny such as the mere beauty of Brady's smile which was rare these days, the highlights of brown that were illuminated by the sunlight hitting his dark raven hair…But what Paul had always loved about the boy, was his chocolate brown eyes that shined with so much resilience and courage no matter how hard Paul beat him down or how much he was ignored by others. Paul found himself weeping, even in his wolf form as he raced through trees, bramble and the overgrown underbrush of the woods.

"_Damn it boy where are you?! Brady where the fuck are you?!"_ Paul shouted in heartbroken desperation.

"Brady please! If you can hear me its….it's me…please…where are you?!" Paul shouted again, meeting no response. He couldn't even smell him. Where on earth could he be? Paul raced on as he found himself going farther into the northern uncharted territories that almost took them across the country border lines into Canada. No one ever went this far up north usually, but it was a known fact that Quileute territory had once been much larger before government took over and dictated who owned what lands. Paul noticed the fog had become much thicker to the point that he couldn't even see his own paws beneath him, forcing him to stop just to get his bearings and figure out exactly where he was. He looked around and noticed he had made it up the cliff side. He was in some type of clearing, a very large one at that. He could see the clearing was a circular shape, but all around him from the little he could see, was the dense forest that stretched on forever. On the opposite side was a large cave opening to the cliff interior that held such a deep darkness that even Paul didn't want to venture into. But something about this setting seemed familiar. He just couldn't put his finger on it but something inside was telling him that….

"Paul….." a small voice whispered. Paul whipped around to find the voice that tore him from his thoughts.

"Oh my God Brady where the hell are you? Answer me! Please! Where are you?!" Paul begged.

"Paul….." the voice whispered hauntingly again. Paul dashed around through the thickening fog. He knew he was still in the clearing, but he could barely see a yard ahead of him. All he could see now were outlines in the blanket of darkness that enveloped his every sense. But as he moved closer to the large cave, he looked up just in time to take in the actual height of the cave's opening. It seemed to stretch up higher than over a hundred feet. This must be the peak of the mountain top that those down below on the reservation could barely make out from afar. But that seemed so far away. Paul felt like he was in another…another realm all together in this forest and there, right on the hard gravel just inside the cave lay the naked form of a too thin and frail boy lying face down.

"BRADY!" Paul screamed as he raced toward Brady. He instantly shifted back into his human form, his nude muscular body radiating such a heat that it numbed him to the cold of the night. He gently leaned down and examined Brady before turning the boy over to face him. Paul felt his insides shatter as he looked at the closed eyes of the boy. He looked down and to his horror discovered several claw marks along the boy's arms and legs.

"_What the fuck…who the fuck could have done this?"_ Paul asked himself. He searched Brady's body for any other marks but found none…other than the one's he himself had left last night. Paul held Brady tightly, pulling the younger man's body into his arms and breathed in his scent. How could he care so much about this insignificant boy? He hated him? Didn't he? Questions played over and over in his head as he looked down at Brady and wondered how could he have come to care about this boy….but the more alarming question he asked himself was…why did he really hate him so much?

"_Brady…why…why do you do this to me? Why are you always making me fucking question myself? I should hate you…but after last night...after what I did to you…I…I'm so sorry."_

"Brady…please open your eyes…." Paul murmured against Brady's lips, pressing his chapped lips to the boy's ever so gently. As if feeling his wish and will, Brady's eyes fluttered open to see Paul above him, holding him.

"Paul…" Brady moaned in pain? Exhaustion? Paul couldn't tell. His voice sounded so scratchy and distant that Paul began to worry what exactly did happen to him out here.

"Brady? Oh god…Brady come on…stay with me! How the hell did you get out here! Please Brady stay awake…come on…" Paul pleaded, rocking the boy in arms. But he knew it was a lost cause. He checked the boy's pulse and felt a slow but steady heartbeat. That gave him hope. But it still disturbed him that he knew nothing of how Brady came to this place all on his own. Panicked and desperate for answers, Paul resolved the only thing to do…was to ask for help….the best way he knew how.

"_I've got to see Sam. First though, I gotta get you home Brady." _Paul resolved.

Paul morphed back into his wolf form, and gently used his large snout to haul the small framed younger man onto his back so that it would be easier to carry him back to their home. Not wanting the unconscious Brady to fall off of his back, Paul walked the rest of the way back home which seemed to take hours but he knew time was of the essence.

Back at Paul's house, Paul sat nervously on the couch, bouncing his right leg up and down anxiously as he waited for the sound of the door to close. As he heard the click of the door down the hall, he looked up just in time to see Sam coming out of Brady's bedroom. Their eyes met from across the short distance of the room and Paul let out a breath he almost didn't realize he was holding as he saw the look of calm written on Sam's face. Although Paul resigned himself to wait until he heard Sam speak, not wanting to be fooled by Sam's all too well known poker face, he couldn't contain his anxiety any longer. As the older man made his way into the living room, he sat in the chair just opposite of Paul, grasping his hands together and looking stern but resolved as he did whenever he addressed the pack members.

"Thanks for uh…coming bye." Paul muttered as he met Sam's eyes. Sam nodded before standing up to take the seat beside Paul, laying a comforting hand on his pack brother's shoulder.

"Paul it's no problem. I'm glad you called" Sam replied tiredly as he recalled Paul's frantic attack on his front door at an ungodly late hour. It had been well past midnight by the time Paul had made it to Sam's cabin. The older wolf was alerted and awoken so abruptly that he almost thought it was something of a dire nature concerning a vampire on the reservation grounds. Even Emily was concerned as she emerged from their bedroom in just a night gown to see Paul anxiously alerting Sam of the unconscious Brady in his arms, before Sam ordered her back to their room, not wanting her to know or see too much until he knew fully what was going on.

"Yeah." Paul replied, feeling somewhat embarrassed while remembering his hysterical state when he ran to Sam and Emily's place, not knowing what to do or who to go to for help. In Paul's mind, he called all of the veteran pack members his friends in some way but he wasn't stupid. He knew that he could be a real jerk and bastard to people, and therefore he knew what others thought of him. The idea of asking someone else for help and revealing some small piece of vulnerability around his fellow pack family disturbed him to no end. Sam was the only one he could trust with this side of himself and was probably the closest thing Paul had to a best friend.

"Paul…I know….look, I didn't tell Emily what happened…what you told me. And I didn't tell anyone else that you asked me to come over. Without you saying much, I figured you didn't want anyone else to know…but I have to ask…what exactly happened?" Sam asked cautiously.

Paul felt like he was at a court hearing for one of the many times he had been jailed for excessive alcohol consumption which usually led to him getting into violent bar fights and eventually thrown in a county jail for a night. The silence seemed to stretch out forever. He was still internally battling his conscious over what transpired between him and Brady last night. He didn't…he couldn't confess fully to it. It was abhorrent. He may have slapped a few of his whores around at times after using them…but he couldn't recall ever going so far as to rape them against their will.

"Well...um I just woke up and he was gone…no warning…no nothing….." Paul said, his voice trembling as he concealed the lie, only stating what was necessary. Sam studied Paul intently, analyzing his short answer.

"How did you know he was gone? I mean…do you normally even check in on him anyway?" Sam questioned disbelievingly. But something in Sam's questioning set Paul off as he jumped up from his seat in anger.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! I'M HIS DAMN GUARDIAN AREN'T I? OF COURSE I CHECK ON HIM!" Paul shouted but Sam matched his anger as he reacted, jumping up to challenge the hot headed wolf.

"PAUL! CALM THE FUCK DOWN! I'M JUST TRYING TO GET SOME ANSWERS! My God…you know, sometimes I wonder if maybe we made the wrong decision by appointing you as his guardian." Sam spat. Paul turned from Sam, cursing profanities as he grabbed at his head and kicked at the nearby chair.

"Maybe…I don't know why…I never wanted that bastard in the first place….We uh…." Paul began.

"Don't bullshit me Paul, tell me the truth." Sam commanded.

"Um…I…uh…guess we uh…..said and did some things last night after the pack meeting…." Paul said quietly.

"What do you mean you said and did some things?" Sam pressed, making Paul feel cornered like a child caught in the act of bad behavior.

"I um…I shouted at him and uh…stuff."

Paul's shoulders tensed. He couldn't say anymore. Sam would hate him. Hell, Sam would do more than that. He would tell everyone else, the pack, the tribe…everyone. Everyone would know what he really was….a monster; the cold hearted bastard they always knew he was. Paul couldn't let that happen. He couldn't let them know the truth….at least not until he found a way to fix this…

"So….let me guess…you got drunk? You shouted at him? Hit him around a few times?" Sam sighed, knowingly. If only he knew just how far from the truth he was but seeing the window of opportunity, Paul nodded his head in agreement with Sam's false assumption.

"Um….yeah….that's what happened." Paul lied.

"Damn it Paul, you know how I feel about that! We've talked about this! I know you have your fucking tantrums sometimes but I gave you my fucking word I would let it slide and not say anything to the pack or the elders if you took your sorry ass to rehab and got some fucking help like you told me you would." Sam snapped at Paul. Sam had always been loyal to Paul, they were like brothers and he knew he would do anything he could for all his pack brothers, but the thought of Paul abusing Brady on a daily basis was setting him off. He knew what Paul had done a few times before and he tried to turn the other way to keep the peace but Paul was testing his patience and limits with his volatile behavior, especially if he was taking it out on Brady.

"Oh come off it Sam! All the times we drank and smoked at those parties or at the tribe bonfires…did it fucking look like I was getting any better?!" Paul replied hotly.

"That's different Paul! That's the pack having a little fun! But this shit here is fucking ridiculous!" Sam snapped as he marched over to the adjoining kitchen and opened the refrigerator to show Paul what he discovered when he came in the house. "Look at this! There's nothing in this house but beer, liquor and whiskey! What the fuck are you even feeding Brady? Do you not at least buy groceries for him?!" Sam asked. Paul marched over to Sam angrily to get in his face, offended that the older wolf would question him in such a way.

"I take care of him! Fuck you Sam! You don't know anything! You think I don't give a damn about him?! I care for…just….FUCK YOU!" Paul screamed out in frustration. Sam watched Paul intently as the angry wolf walked back over to the living room and flopped on the couch. Sam followed him as he tried to calm down and level with Paul. He didn't want Paul to think he wasn't there for him, but he knew he had to get his friend some kind of help.

"You know Paul…..it's…..it's okay to care about him…you do know that, right? And it's okay to admit that to yourself too." Sam assured Paul, taking a seat beside him.

"I just woke up and searched for him and he was gone…then I noticed the back door was left open…I followed his scent and…It just freaked me out so much….it scared the shit out of me…I didn't know where he was…or what happened to him…..and when I found him..." Paul said in a defeated tone.

"Look, Brady's going to be fine. But you do know I'm going to have to tell the elders about this…at least Billy, Sue and Old Quil. I mean, I checked him out, his wounds seemed artificial and they are starting to heal. But he's not waking up right now, maybe it's just exhaustion but we need some help here." Sam said sternly. Paul's eyes lit up in anger and shock as he turned to face Sam to protest.

"No! I don't want their fucking noses in my business!" Paul shouted.

"Paul this is pack business! Something could be wrong! You saw just as well as I did all those bite marks on him!" Sam countered.

"What do you suggest I do?" Paul asked.

"Well, I'm going to talk to Jake…" Sam decided but Paul cut him off.

"Seriously? You're going to tell that asshole?! He's so fucking obsessed with that leech loving Swan girl, how the hell is he going to help me?!" Paul asked.

"Watch it Paul! Jake is our friend…he's like your brother and more importantly he's the alpha, so show some fucking respect. He needs to know what's going on. Until further notice, I don't want to leave Brady alone which means no patrolling for you…at least for right now. Just stay here and take care of him alright. And try not to drink yourself into a stupor just because you're feeling guilty Paul, I mean it. Just be here for him….that boy….you may not want to hear this…but as much as you two act like you don't care for each other….in his eyes…I can always see how much he does care about you." Sam stated with finality. Paul merely nodded as he became lost in his own thoughts. Sam gripped Paul's shoulder comfortingly and nodded at him as he stood to leave.

"Look, I gotta get home. Call me if there is any change." Sam said, walking to the door. Paul followed him to the front door, his eyes heavy with guilt but also gratefulness for Sam's support.

"I will….and uh…um…you know I'm not good with this shit but…uh…..thanks Sam." Paul muttered lowly, meeting Sam's eyes. Sam nodded before walking out the door and leaving. Paul watched the older man run across the back yard and morph into his wolf form, taking off into the forest to head home.

Walking back into the house, Paul made his way back to Brady's bedroom and his heart nearly broke in two at seeing the fragile boy laying on the bed in an unshakable sleep. Paul knelt down beside the boy and cried as he knew this was entirely his fault and he didn't know where to begin to pick up the pieces. Right now, more than anything he just wanted Brady to open his eyes. He didn't care if the younger wolf hated him, or screamed at him in anger and sadness...he just wanted to see his eyes open.

"Bray….Bray I'm so sorry….what did I do…what have I…..I'm so sorry Bray…I'm so fucking sorry….." Paul wept uncontrollably as he took hold of Brady's small hand and held it in his own larger one. Paul was never a religious man. He had never given any thought to a higher power. He simply couldn't be bothered. But right now, he made a silent wish to whatever higher power that was out there to just let Brady's eyes open so that he could look up at him once more.

* * *

"_Oh God Jake…It feels so good." She moaned out in ecstasy as their bodies entwined in a heap of sweat soaked sheets and suffocating heat. As he came to, he realized that he was in bed, atop the girl whom he could have sworn had finally ended things with him only a couple of days ago. As he rubbed at his eyes to clear his vision, it became clear just what had dragged her back to him and his bed as it always did. He smiled to himself all knowingly in satisfaction as he continued to drive deep into her tight warmth, her porcelain white legs gripping tightly around his thick muscular waist as they whispered apologies to each other and just enjoyed the company and feel of one another's bodies and intimacy. But as he kissed his way up from her shoulder to her face, he was presented with her pink delicate lips and all of sudden this didn't feel right anymore. He looked at her closed eyes that squinted in pleasure and pain as he continued forcing her abused and overly used entrance to take all of his cock inside her. How did they come to this place in their relationship? Jacob had no idea, but he knew he couldn't kiss her…it was too much…far too much for him to admit to himself and to realize he wasn't in love with this girl anymore. Not the way he used to be. And just maybe…..maybe not at all…not the way he thought he had been for years. _

"_Bella...what the fuck are we doing?" Jacob asked as he pulled himself up, resting on his forearms to take in her naked body sprawled beneath him, his cock partially coming out of her. Too in the moment to let go, Bella gripped her legs tighter around him and pulled herself up to take more of him back into her but the normally pleasurable sensation felt like frigid ice water and Jacob felt himself and his body both becoming flaccid to the thought of making love to this girl. Jacob forcibly but gently pried her legs from around him as he extracted himself from her, pulling his cock out of her dripping entrance and moving away from her. He rubbed his hand over his face as he sat up in bed to take in what was going on._

_Bella sat up in frustration as she wrapped the bed sheet around her breast in a useless attempt o cover herself._

"_What now Jacob? What's wrong?" She asked gently._

"_Bella….we...we…can't…we can't keep doing this…we already discussed this. You've made up your mind, remember. You want Edward….and besides..I…" Jacob stuttered as he began to feel cold and vulnerable for the first time in so long as almond shaped dark eyes flashed in his mind. Light russet skin and a kind but knowing smile…..Jacob knew whose smile that belonged to…he knew it in his heart but something was blocking him from uttering the name on his lips._

"_It's that faggot again, isn't it. Why do you keep letting him come in between us?" Bella cried in frustration as she sat up in bed with anger across her face. Jacob jerked, and sent her a ferocious glare that was a mere shadow of his anger. He knew how he had treated Seth these past weeks but he couldn't stand the thought of Bella saying anything about the younger man who had been his best friend for the entirety of his life._

"_Bella! I told you never to fucking talk about him!" Jacob shouted as he stood up from the bed._

"_WHY THE FUCK NOT!? IS HE THE REASON YOU CAN'T EVEN FUCK ME PROPERLY?! IS HE THE REASON YOU'VE TURNED AGAINST ME!?" Bella shouted even louder. And that's when Jacob noticed something….Bella was different. She was not backing down. Usually, even if they argued, he could still overpower her and get his way…but something about her today was different._

"_That's none of your fucking business! Just get the hell out of here! I told you that we're through! We decided…." Jacob began._

"_NO! YOU DECIDED!" Bella corrected. Jacob did a double take as he could have sworn those words sounded familiar. Hadn't he said that exact same thing to her at one point? He felt that same cold chill run down his spine and all of a sudden…the name came to him. The one he needed right now. The one he needed to run to….the one that made him feel loved, and whole and cherished and took him as he was._

_Seth._

_But how did he have the right to run to Seth after what he had done to him? After everything he had put him through? Why did he have to fall in love with his best friend?_

"_I gotta go!" Jacob snarled as he grabbed his pants from the floor but a cold and firm grip took hold of his wrist._

"_No! You're not leaving until you fucking talk to me and finish fucking me like the sick bastard you are!" Bella screamed with venom. That voice felt so cold and unloving to him. It was not the girl he knew. Not anymore. And as Jacob turned around and the rising sun peaked through the windows of his bedroom…the light hit her skin as she began to sparkle and her red eyes began to glow. _

"_You…you changed? He changed you?!" Jacob asked, scared and terrified of the thought. But not for the reason he originally thought he would be horrified._

"_Isn't this what you wanted?" Bella asked knowingly with a smirk._

"_No! I never wanted this for you! You've ruined yourself Bells…you…" Jacob couldn't finish his thoughts as his throat constricted at the thought that he had sex with Bella while she was a vampire. _

"_I asked you a question Jake! What? Now that I'm a vampire, I'm still not good enough for you? I'm not as good as your fag boyfriend Seth?!" Bella shouted._

"_Don't you dare say his name! You haven't the right!" Jacob shouted back!_

"_I don't have the right?! Who the hell do you think you are?! You don't have the right! Not to be the alpha of La Push, not to have me and certainly not to have Seth!"_

"_Shut up! You're wrong!" Jacob screamed, turning away from her to cover his face in shame, knowing it was the truth._

"_You know I'm right Jake. How could he ever love you…look what you did to him…he confessed to you, pleaded with you to not hate him and you fed him to the fucking wolves. He hates you." Bella laughed. It was as if her voice reverberated and echoed throughout his room, bouncing off the walls and filling his head with their truth and malice._

"_Shut up! You're wrong! He loves me! He loves me, he told me….I know it….I felt it…" Jacob cried as tears streamed down his face._

"_He hates you!" Bella laughed continuously. It was all too much to take in. The thought of Seth leaving him because of what he had done and the thought that Seth hated him. He couldn't live with this. This couldn't be happening. And as Bella laughed at his defeat and insecurities, he became resentful and angry. Wasn't this her fault too? She had kept him hoping and lingering while she played both him and her vampire boyfriend. He once thought the Cullen vampire was to blame for keeping Jacob away from the girl he wanted but now Jacob saw that maybe the blame was really his own for holding on to a girl who he knew only wanted him for one thing only._

"_I said SHUT TUP!" Jacob snapped as he swung back with his open palm to back hand her in the mouth; anything to get her to stop laughing and ridiculing him. But his eyes grew in terror as she flew back and hit the opposite wall, hearing a heart wrenching snap and crunch as her head hit the wall and she collapsed to the floor. But as Jacob looked down, he saw not the form of a decapitated vampire, or even the broken corpse of a clumsy and pale skinned girl. He saw, the bloodied and broken body of…._

_Seth._

"_Oh God! OH GOD! OH GOD! SETH!" Jacob screamed in anguish. How could this be happening? How could he have done this? Jacob cried and fell to his knees as the realization sunk in that everything he touched died. Everything he loved, he always eventually lost. Jacob jumped to the floor where Seth's body lay. He gently took the fragile and small but lean frame of the younger man in his embrace as blood soaked his muscular arms._

"_Seth please, I didn't mean to hurt you…I didn't know…I thought it was…Bella she…it was her …she tricked me….she….I'm so sorry Seth….I didn't mean to hurt you!" Jacob wept as he held the body close to his body, tears pouring on Seth's face._

"_SETH PLEASE! OPEN YOUR EYES! I'M SORRY!" Jacob continued to cry and shout as if he could will his best friend back to life and health; anything just to see those warm eyes look at him with love again._

"_GETH AWAY FROM HIM!" A loud and powerful voice like thunder echoed throughout the room. Jacob turned to see a tall and strong body similar to his own walk into the room and push him aside, taking Seth's body out of his arms swiftly. Jacob was thrown so far he ended up on the other side of the room. As he scrambled up, he began to shake with rage at having Seth torn from him….showing that even in death he wasn't allowed to be with the one he cared most about._

"_WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! LET HIM GO!" Jacob shouted as he approached the man that was now cradling Seth's body lovingly._

"_You stupid fool, haven't you done enough damage?!" the man responded, freezing Jacob in his tracks. Jacob knew it was his fault but that didn't matter now. He would do anything to take back the damage he had done._

"_I'm sorry…I didn't mean to….I didn't mean to hurt him….just let me hold him…" Jacob cried, hating himself for feeling like the insecure little boy he once was. He loved Seth….all he wanted was Seth…he saw that now._

"_I SAID GO AWAY! DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH HIM AGAIN! HE'S DYING BECAUSE OF YOU! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!" The man shouted, his long mane of hair hiding his face from view._

"_I'm so sorry…I'm so fucking sorry…please just let me help him…I…I love him so much..I…." Jacob explained as he approached the man. But as he came closer, the man turned around to show his face and Jacob's heart stopped as he saw the hard face and strong jaw line of the man before him._

_It was him. It was Jacob._

_Jacob gasped as he stared back at himself. Only he didn't look like himself. He wore longer hair, like he did before he became a wolf and had to shed his shaggy hair. His clothes even looked worn and leather made, as if from some animal….it was like he was from another era altogether…a time long before his birth….an ancient and traditional time in Lap Push. Jacobs's twin continued to cradle Seth in his arms as he hardened his gaze on Jacob._

"_If you love him….stay away from him….…before things get worse." The man solemnly said with angry tears in his eyes "Stay away from him…..before….HE finds him…..before….HE….finds you all."_

_Jacob stood froze…what did he mean? Why did he have to stay away from Seth? And who was he? Who was coming? All Jacob wanted to do was grab Seth and cradle him in his embrace. All he wanted was…Seth._

_And as everything faded from his vision, all Jacob could hear was the faint sound of hooves hitting the ground in an angry stomp, like some devil running towards him followed by the insidious flapping sound of leathery wings._

_..._

Jacob abruptly jerked up in bed, his nude muscled body drenched in a cold sweat. He reached for his bedside table to find an empty beer can, a vodka bottle and a glass of water. He took the water and rushed it to his lips, his heightened senses noting its aged and stale taste but he didn't care. He needed anything at the moment to quench his thirst and ease the dry lodge in his throat. His heart raced as he remembered his dream, image for image and word for word. It had felt so real that he could swear he could still feel the warmth of Seth's blood still fresh on his hands. Jacob sighed heavily as he rubbed at his eyes tiredly and felt a frustrated sob about to come up but he suppressed it. He couldn't break like this all over a stupid dream but how could he not when it had affected him so much.

"Damn it." Jacob cursed as he got up from the bed, not caring for his nude form as he made his way to the window and looked out into his back yard that was covered in darkness. He could see the early morning blue light on its way over the horizon that was approaching with the new day. It was barely there, but there nonetheless. It reminded him so much of Seth. Seth was just like that….the rising dawn, Jacob mused. He had always been like this ever present light, no matter how dark the night was…he always knew he could run to Seth and the younger man's smile, or encouraging words or even his mere presence made his world feel alright.

"Seth….." Jacob sighed. Jacob felt as though he had wanted to hate Seth. He wanted to hate the boy for making him want him, for making him need him…for making him love him….but he couldn't. Jacob knew he himself was to blame for the mess that their friendship had become. But how could even look at Seth or face him after what had happened between them. All Jacob wanted was to be normal, to be accepted by his family, his friends, his pack and the tribe. He wanted to bring honor to his people and make them proud. He wanted to be the leader that his forefathers had so valiantly been. But how could he do that when he was being held back by this love he had for Seth?

"I know what I feel for you Seth…but I can't feel this way…it's eating at me…but I can't stand the thought of you hating me…not after everything that's happened…" Jacob thought to himself. He couldn't take this. It was just too much for him to bear on his own. Jacob knew that feeling had always been there no matter how much he had tried to ignore it. But to act on it….that was another story entirely. "_Just what did Seth expect from me when he confessed? I can't just be …fucking gay and love him…can I? It would be so fucking easy but….it would be hard…hard to…damn it, I can't deal with this..…I…"_

Jacob thought on his dream and the man who turned out to be….himself. Was it really himself? Jacob found himself wondering this as he stared out into the early morning darkness. Was it his subconscious telling him something?

Jacob sighed as he thought of the past few days. It had been just yesterday when he saw Seth at his house, just yesterday when he ripped away the very necklace he had given the younger wolf and already he ached and longed to see him once more. The biggest question that had been rummaging around in his brain since that day was the thought of imprinting. If Jacob loved Seth this much…if it was truly not wrong…wouldn't he have imprinted? An imprint would surely mean that he was meant to love Seth but since he hadn't as of yet, Jacob took that as a sign that this love he had for the boy was wrong and he couldn't give into it. Jacob was just so afraid….so afraid of giving into it. It was too scary to accept and embrace. But he couldn't help asking why? Jacob sighed once more as he turned away from his window and grabbed a towel as he headed for the bathroom to take his shower. He needed to clear his mind and get himself ready for the day. He knew he had a long day of business lined up at the garage, followed by patrols. He knew he would desperately need a drink later and thought maybe the pack should go back out again tonight to get wasted. Jacob smiled sadly to himself. Maybe he could even find some broad dumb enough to fall for his lies and let him bed her. He needed it. He needed anything to distract him from what was screaming in his head and calling in his heart.

* * *

"Yo Embry!" Quil hollered from across the bar at the sight of Embry entering the bar. As Embry stood in the doorway, his form tense and rigid from the night's events, it took all he could just to hold in his anger at the sight of his pack brothers having fun and carelessly drinking the night away as if they had not abused and out casted one of their own from the pack only a couple of days ago. Since Embry had found Seth broken and alone in the woods that night, he had not been showing up to the pack meet ups or doing his patrols in the two days since that time. He even hadn't shown up to work and Embry knew after tonight he would probably be looking for another job. His intentions had been to just lay low because after what had transpired, it would only be a matter of time before the others knew of his secret imprint with Collin. But before he left of his own accord, Embry wanted to give Jacob and the pack a piece of his mind.

"Dude, where you been? You gonna hang with us tonight?" Paul asked loudly, clearly deep within his cups. As Embry made it to the pack's table at the back of the bar, he saw that Sam, Jacob, Quil, Jared and Paul were all there just drinking and shooting the breeze without a care in the world. He scoffed at the sight of the latter, the brutal drunkard that Paul was and out of the corner of his eye he could see Sam sitting next to Paul, a concerned arm on his shoulder. What he didn't know was that Paul should not have been there. Paul had held himself up in the house to watch over Brady for the past couple of days but when he heard the pack was going out again he jumped at the chance to find an escape from his guilt. Sam had kept looking at him knowingly with a stern expression but that only made Paul want to forget even more.

Embry however didn't care for Paul, instead his eyes narrowed on Jacob, the man he thought was his friend but after the other night, after finding Seth so shattered…after he saw what was left of Seth, Embry was seriously wondering if he could call Jacob his friend any longer. He couldn't call someone his friend who was capable of hurting someone so kind and pure like Seth. Quil, Jared and Paul seemed to be all over the place as they nursed their bottles of beer, talking loudly amongst each other. They all turned their attention to Embry once he made it to the table.

"Embry, shit man. What's up? You want a drink or something? Hey! Somebody get our bro a drink over here!" Jared hollered throughout the bar, trying to get the attention of one of the bar waitresses.

"Embry, where the hell have you been man? You wanna sit down and join us?" Jacob asked with a cautious smile. His heart froze a little if he were honest with himself because in the back of his mind he felt like he knew why Embry was here and why he had been absent from their earlier pack meeting and the meet ups they had had since then. He thought it best to play it cool for now. But Embry wasn't buying any of it.

"Cut the crap Jake! I'm not in the fucking mood." Embry spat causing everyone to stop and do a double take.

"Whoa uhh….did I miss something here?" Jared said to break up the tension and silence that began to amass despite the loud ruckus of the surrounding bar goers.

"Uh oh, I smell drama." Quil muttered as he looked down at his drink guiltily. Sam realizing things could get nasty in public attempted to diffuse the situation the best he could.

"Come on, Embry, just sit down and have a drink with us and…" Sam said but was rudely cut off by Embry whose anger was radiating off of him in ripples, the others could sense it themselves.

"I said I'm not in the fucking mood. All you sick fucks do is drink all the time!" Embry barked. They all scoffed at Embry's hostility as they stood up from the table in alarm.

"What the fuck, are you psycho or something?" Jared questioned, coming to stand beside Embry and try to drag him away from the others to no avail.

"Shit man! What the hell has gotten into you?" Paul asked hotly. Jacob emerged in front of the group to face Embry, knowing in his gut what this was all really about.

"Dude, what the fuck is your problem? First you don't show up to pack meetings, you blow off your patrols, you don't show up to work and now you come up here trying to start some shit for whatever reason." Jacob challenged angrily. Embry, remembering Seth's broken heart and tear stricken face was pushed even more to stand up to Jacob once and for all.

"Was it a pack meeting Jake or an execution you sick fuck?!" Embry replied darkly.

"What the fuck did you just say to me?!" Jacob questioned. Quil, Jared and Paul gathered closely around but Sam tried to come in between the two, trying to push them back and separate them before they did something they might regret.

"Whoa, Jake calm down please!" Sam chided. Jared and Paul grabbed onto Jacob's arms to restrain him from lunging at Embry who wore a dark and angry expression, ready for whatever Jacob would bring.

"Let me go you guys! I can handle this myself!" Jacob ordered.

"Just like you handled Seth, huh? You think you can take me down the same way you put him down like a dog?!" Embry challenged, but Quil tried to pull him back, not wanting to see his own pack brothers fight. As Embry and Jacob's eyes locked, something in Jacob snapped as he knew Embry must have spoken with Seth. Although he was angry that Embry would question his decision, something inside made him even more outraged at the thought of Embry protecting Seth…only one thought rang through his mind,…that Seth was his.

"What the hell is your problem? I'm the fucking alpha! Whatever I decide to do is my prerogative and you're not to question that! Something you would know if you fucking acted like my beta for once and supported me!" Jacob shouted. Embry just scoffed in response.

"Oh, I see, so it's my job to support you by kissing your ass like all these other dumb fucks you call friends?" Embry said, pulling his arm out of Quil's grasp and pushing the man away.

"Embry, what the fuck is the matter with you man?!" Jared asked with confusion.

"Yeah, why are you pissing insults on us like this and disrespecting us, we're your fucking pack brothers?" Paul asked hotly, knowing full well in the back of his mind he shouldn't even be there.

"You guys, calm down for a sec. Look…Embry, dude chill out. Let's just talk about this…what's up?" Sam tried to reason.

"What's up is I'm sick and tired of following behind a fucking coward like you Jake!" Embry shot towards his former friend.

"What the hell, Embry? What are you even bitching about? You're causing all this drama over Seth?!" Jacob asked.

"You guys had no right to treat Seth the way you did! Here you guys are living it up like you own the fucking place and drinking yourselves to death but who was it that found Seth in the woods alone on the verge of a breakdown. Are you guys so fucking callous and heartless that you had to ex communicate Seth?!" Embry explained in a fury. Sam, Paul, Quil and Jared were almost slack jawed to see this side of Embry they had never witnessed before, but Jacob glared at Embry with resentment, merely holding his eyes with Embry as if challenging the beta to question him again.

"Embry, calm the fuck down. He's just a fag! Do you really want some queer in the pack fucking things up for the rest of us?" Quil tried to explain half heartedly, not even believing his own words.

"Yeah man, that little pussy boy got what he deserved." Jared nodded in agreement with a laugh.

"Besides, how the fuck is this even your concern Embry? What I do to Seth and the decisions I make for the pack is my business. You're supposed to be one of my most trusted betas…why aren't you backing me up?" Jacob asked. Embry looked at all of them in amazement at how close minded they could be. Seeing his reaction, Sam who stood to the side of the group not trying to take a side attempted to intercept whatever might happen.

"Look guys please, let's not do this right now okay…" Sam began but was cut short by Embry once again.

"Are you guys kidding me? You expect me to just nod my head and agree with how you're handling this? Do you have any idea how much Seth loves you? Do you know how much he's hurting right now? Do you guys have any clue how much he cares about us? The pack and the tribe? But that's not good enough is it? If he's not like us than that makes him a traitor to you guys, huh?" Embry questioned.

"You just don't get it….him being the way he is and trying to ruin my life makes him a fucking traitor!" Jacob snapped.

"Yeah Embry. You heard the Elders. He's a fag….it's not the way things are supposed to be. Come on, think about it. If a guy was meant to fuck another guy they would be able to make babies, wouldn't they? That's basic common sense." Paul answered, trying to instill some logic to Embry, but out of everyone there Paul was the most nervous, trying so desperately to believe his own words while weighing them against what he felt for the boy who was asleep at home. Embry narrowed his eyes at the hot head of the group as he took in his words.

"Don't you try to talk to me about fucking common sense Paul while you're sitting there guzzling that drink. I bet that's your fifth bottle tonight isn't it? You going to go back home and slap around some new bitch tonight or did you already take it out on Brady? Don't act like we don't know where some of his bruises come from." Embry taunted. Everyone went silent. Everyone knew Paul cared about Brady, but the thought and knowledge of him slapping Brady around a few times was a shared secret that none in the pack ever wanted to bring up in an effort to keep the drama to a minimum. And no one there besides Paul himself knew just how closely Embry's words had hit home. Sam looked cautiously over at Paul but before anyone had time to react Paul had reacted.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Paul shouted as he threw a hard ironed fist right into Embry's face, his nose gushing blood as his wolf gene kicked in to heal it slowly and painfully. But Embry had reacted on pure instinct and just as Jared and Quil jumped in to try to hold him back, Embry had side stepped them and punched Paul in the eye, sending the man to the floor with a thud and leaving the others there in amazement who never knew Embry could best Paul in such a way. Paul quickly got up and tried to reciprocate the violence but he was held back by Sam and Jacob and Embry was held fast by Quil and Jared as the two tried to no avail to lunge at each other. Jacob watching the whole thing and trying not to knock Embry down himself almost wanted to let Paul go so Embry could get what was coming to him.

"You little shit! What I do in my own fucking time and in my own house is none of your damn business Call!" Paul barked as he tried to get out of Sam and Jacob's vice.

"You see Embry! This isn't any of your fucking business! You're not even man enough to show up to the fucking pack meetings and handle pack business so this doesn't concern you." Jacob finalized with a deep growl but he could tell he wasn't intimidating the other man in the slightest. Embry calmed somewhat at Jacob's words and sensing no danger Jared and Quil let his arms go.

"Look Jake, we've known each other a long time…and you've known Seth all your life. He cares so much for you…and I know deep down you care about him too. How could you do this to him?" Embry asked. He knew he could never get through to any of them through violence. That was already the definition of what they were as wolves. But Embry knew deep down Jacob had to care about Seth. He had seen it. They all had. They all had questioned it before. It was a friendship, a bond that you only saw once a lifetime and Embry had no idea how Jacob could just flip the switch and turn his back on years of rewarding and irreplaceable friendship.

"Look if you care so much about that faggot than why don't you go fuck him!" Jacob shouted but regretted his words. He had no idea how he could say something like that. Just the mere thought made him cringe with rage and disgust…just the thought of another man besides himself with Seth made Jacob boil over. But Embry retaliated in kind with his own rage.

"You know what Jake, fuck you!" Embry pushed at Jacob who returned his shove with twice as much strength.

"You stupid fatherless bitch!" Jacob spat as he swung at Embry, his fist connecting with Embry's mouth, blood splattering from his lips. In turn, Embry swung around, back handing Jacob across the face harshly as their scuffle ensued and the other wolves present tried to jump in to grab at them but were knocked one way or the other. The ensuing chaos caused the loud bar to take notice even in their isolated location of the club and people started shouting and running out and Jacob and Embry continued to fight heatedly. Having had enough, Sam barked for them to stop, grabbing Jacob himself and ordered Paul, Jared and Quil to restrain Embry.

"Fuck you Jake, I'm out! You hear me, we're through." Embry spat out with blood trickling down from his bottom lip.

"What the hell…you can't fucking leave the pack whenever you want!" Jacob cursed, as he tried to lunge back at Embry with his own lip busted while Sam held him back.

"I just did! I'm no longer going to follow you Jake. Or any of you for that matter!" Embry responded, tearing himself away from the other. Quil and Jared looked at him disbelievingly and Paul sort of looked down as he thought of how their pack was falling apart all because of Seth. "Now let me go!"

"Dude, why are you doing this? Coming in here and starting all this shit?! Don't fucking leave the pack! We need you man" Quil pleaded to his friend but Embry just glared at him, which silenced him quickly, never seeing Embry treat him so coldly before as if he didn't even know him.

"Look….I'm sick and tired of having my life dictated by a bunch of ignorant pricks like you and the fucking Elders. Fuck them and you guys. If you want to go around destroying other people's lives then fine. But I won't be a part of it. I'm out for good!"

"Then fucking leave you piece of shit! I've had it with you anyway! But don't you think for one second that Seth's off the hook!"Jacob spat out with spite. His eyes almost watering at the prospect of Seth being gone and Embry following him…the two of them together…he couldn't deal with it...he couldn't accept it.

"Jake man, calm down! We don't need to have everyone leaving or getting kicked out the pack left and right." Jared said seriously for once.

"You won't fucking come near him!" Embry spoke with dead resolve.

"Don't you dare threaten me. Seth is mine to do with what I want!" Jacob shouted.

"You leave Seth alone or you'll regret it! If you want to hound Seth so much then why don't you try starting shit with me! Because I'm a fag too! Are you fucking happy?!" Embry said and the silence and tension that soon fell upon them was like a force of gravity no one could stand through. Everyone's eyes looked to Embry in disbelief as if maybe they had misheard him.

"Man, come on. Seriously? Don't play like that. That's not even funny." Quil tried to say seriously as they all continued to look at Embry as if he had grown a second head.

"I'm not fucking joking you idiot. I imprinted….on Collin." Embry simply stated. He couldn't tell what they were really thinking. Everyone still seemed a bit in shock but he could that Jacob was trying hard not to believe him but there was somewhat of a shared sixth sense when it came to imprinting. Once a wolf did, his brethren could tell…it was in his eyes.

"What the fuck? Embry how come you didn't tell us?!" Sam asked aloud, not understanding exactly how this could have happened. "That's fucking impossible!"

"He's right man, that's unnatural! That's impossible!" Jared added.

"Embry you're a fucking liar! If you and Seth want to be fags then go ahead but don't bring imprinting into this!" Jacob said, almost sounding confident and happy and believing Embry was making the whole thing up.

"Yeah, he's right, that goes against everything the Elders know, everything our teachings and the tribe…" Paul added. But Embry merely sighed at all of their accusations as he took a deep breath and looked down at his hands, clenching them and forcing himself to remain calm.

"Well than the tribe doesn't know shit, because I did imprint and there's nothing any of you can do! Sam, you know what it feels like to imprint…you know what the pull is like…" Embry said with dead calm as he looked at Sam. Sam returned Embry's glare and just the reflection he caught in the younger wolf's eyes made him think just maybe….

"Sam, tell this idiot he doesn't know what he's talking about!" Jacob snapped, trying to get some support. The alpha wasn't convinced but a deep part of him didn't want to believe it because if Embry had imprinted…that meant that maybe…just maybe that kind of love wasn't as unnatural as everyone thought and the idea alone scared Jacob. It scared all of them.

"He's…I don't think he's lying….but...how…it's impossible." Sam almost said in a whisper as he came to the conclusion that Embry wasn't making this up. Without another word, Embry turned and walked away from the pack, leaving the bar and leaving behind his now bewildered pack brothers and former friends. Embry was almost satisfied that for once he could have the last word with them however as he wiped the remaining traces of blood from his busted lip he began to wonder now where this left him and Collin. He had seemingly kicked himself out of the pack and now that he had an imprint to protect, that meant he had spoken for both himself and Collin. Embry wasn't sure if he could face the pack on his own if they decided to confront him but he didn't see how or why they would. He had imprinted. And whether or not they believed him now, when they were all phased as wolves, it would more than surely be confirmed when they felt what he felt for the boy waiting for him at home.

* * *

Embry sighed as he finished recounting his tale of what happened last night to the two young men in front of him, both of their jaws dropped in shock and disappointment at what they were hearing. Seth was still somewhat shaken up over what had transpired for the past couple of days but hearing Jacob's anger and rage from Embry's story only confirmed what he already knew. Part of him was beginning to believe that his love for Jacob was something he was going to have to find a way to let go of very soon. All it had brought him and others was misfortune. Collin on the other hand was somewhat angry and was not doing very well at hiding it as the thought of anyone hurting his boyfriend was making him shake with anger. He knew he couldn't have done anything to protect Embry, but that still didn't prevent him from wanting to rip out the pack's throats for what they had done.

"Embry…I..I can't believe you did that….you shouldn't have went there on my account." Seth said sadly as he wiped a stray tear from his cheek. Collin merely grunted in disapproval.

"Well I can't believe that bastard hit you." Collin stated vehemently, crossing his arms. Embry thought Collin's protective side was cute and he smiled warmly at him as he leaned over to take the smaller boy in his arms and hold him.

"Babe don't worry, I'm okay. Honest. He got a lucky shot in that's all. If anything, my pride's wounded, that's all." Embry stated as he rubbed at his jaw. Seth and Collin could still see the remains of the brutal skirmish that had taken place between Embry and the pack but it was quite faint now as it had begun to heal very quickly.

Since the night Embry had found Seth alone in the woods, he had advised Seth to keep a low profile and stay at home. Meanwhile, Embry and Collin had stayed at his mothers' house, telling the elders that neither could patrol as they had been taking care of her, however Embry knew it was only a matter of time before they had figured out the truth anyway. That was why he went to confront Jacob and his pack brothers. Whenever he flashed back to that night when he found Seth, he felt so angry that part of him wanted to phase on all of them, not caring how outnumbered he would be. But he knew eventually that if he had phased and ran his patrols for the past couple of days like he was supposed to, then someone would hear his thoughts and learn about him and Collin. It was for that reason that he had ordered Collin not to phase anymore either. It was odd really. Embry and Collin at first felt like they were two lone lovers on the run but now that everything was out in the open…well….they didn't quite know what to expect. He half expected Jacob, the pack and the Elders to come charging at his front door any day now but he knew that the elders wouldn't have that it as they knew Embry's mother was literally on her death bed. Embry hated to admit he hadn't thought that far ahead. He was just glad that school was out for the summer still as it would be hard to pull Collin out of school and explain to the authorities it was because he was trying to protect his imprint from his homophobic pack and tribe. But after laying low for a few days, Embry had called Seth to meet him and Collin over at his house late in the night so that they could touch base with what was going on.

"Embry you really should have told me what you were going to do. I would have come along to give all of them a piece of my mind." Collin said as sternly as he could in his still innocent voice. Embry merely chuckled.

"I told you I'm fine, okay. Besides, right now its best I keep you…both of you under the radar. It's not just about Seth anymore, now that the pack and the council know about us, I'm not sure what they'll decide to do." Embry said. Seth sighed however as he felt this would still all come back to be his fault.

"I'm quite sure they'll surmise that I coerced you both into following down my sinful path. This will somehow be my fault." Seth replied sadly.

"Seth you can't think like that. You've done nothing wrong, you know that. What I can't believe is how close minded and hypocritical everyone on this rez is. I can understand tribal traditions and expectations but at some point can't they see that being…you know this way…gay isn't a choice…and to go this far just to punish you Seth is…" Colin was so frustrated he couldn't even think straight. It was hard to see his best friend suffer like this. But it was also tough knowing that everyone on the rez knew about them now. Collin had made sure to call in to his dad and sister from time to time but knew that he couldn't hide out at Embry's house for the rest of his life. Eventually they would have to go out sometime. But it had been easier to ignore the reality in the safe confines of the Call residence where there home was surrounded by woods and when Embry and Collin weren't taking care of Miss Call, they spent their time outside exploring the woods together, taking long walks and sleeping underneath the stars while sharing their most intimate selves with one another. It was a magical feeling Collin was so grateful for. He felt so lucky that he was fortunate enough to have someone who returned his feelings, but seeing how horribly painful Seth's happily never after turned out, it just seemed so unfair to Collin.

"It's ok really guys. I'm used to it. And really, I should have expected it. I'm just sorry to drag you both into this. Neither of you would be in this situation if it wasn't for me." Seth confessed.

"Seth stop it! This is not your fault okay. Besides, I would have said something to them eventually. With everything that's going on, Collin and I's relationship was bound to come out sooner or later." Embry tried to console the younger wolf.

"But…." Seth began.

"Seth, would you shut up for a second. Embry's right. Stop apologizing for yourself. And stop apologizing to the pack, you don't owe them or the tribe anything. Not anymore." Collin reiterated. Seth let out a sigh of defeat as he smiled at his two friends. It was such a relief to know that in these hard times, he still had two people in the world that cared about him.

"But what will you guys do now? I mean…it's different for me. I could handle this if it was just my own burden to bear but you two are technically still in the pack. " Seth asked. Collin, wondering the same thing too looked to Embry for an answer.

"Well things are definitely going to be a lot tougher from here on out. But we've got to stay positive. We have to stick together through this. We have each other. Technically when I said I was out, I extradited myself from the pack." Embry explained. "And Collin…well…you being my imprint and lover, well…that makes me responsible for you so technically I extradited both of us. So…technically..We're our own pack now." Embry said as he cupped Collin's cheek in his hand.

"Well thanks for discussing that with me first Embry/" Collin teased as they nuzzled their noses together playfully. Seth watched the two lovers enjoy a brief intimate moment and all f a sudden he felt as if he were intruding. He started to look away and thought maybe he should leave when he felt two pair of eyes on him. Looking back at the two he saw Embry and Collin were grinning at him.

"Of course Seth, no pack is complete without at least three wolves and I would be honored if you would like to join. Besides, I made a promise to protect you as well and you mean the world to both of us so what do you say?" Embry asked, outstretching his hand for Seth to shake. Seth couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did Embry and Collin just ask him to join their pack? He was so overjoyed he didn't know what to say.

"Oh Seth please say yes! We can't do this without you! We need you! Please join us buddy!" Collin asked excitedly as she started bouncing up and down.

"You guys, I can't believe this. I'm…I don't know what to say." Seth replied with a smile.

"Please say yes. Otherwise, Collin will be upset at me for not making you join and won't put out tonight." Embry said with a chuckle, causing Collin to blush and elbow Embry softy in the ribs. Seth merely laughed at the whole exchange as he nodded his head in approval.

"Thank you guys. Yes. I guess I have a new pack now." Seth said happily. Embry and Collin pulled Seth in for a warm group hug as they both struggled to stay standing but eventually fell over each other in a heap on the ground, laughing hysterically.

"So, maybe you should talk to Leah. She'll need to know what's happening." Embry brought up as he regained himself from his giggles. That topic seemed to make things a bit more serious but still there was a happiness in the atmosphere that Seth, Embry and Collin could feel and they could almost feel the magical bonds of their new pack weaving and tithing around them, binding them together as a new family.

"Yeah I know…but Leah's been so busy with school and work this past year that she hardly even gets in one day a week of her patrol shifts. I hardly even see her lately because during the week she spends her nights on campus. But I think she comes home later this week." Seth replied. "I think this coming Friday she'll drag herself in at about two in the morning. Then she'll do her patrol for two hours and slink back in the dead of the night. I'll see if I can wait up for her. I just feel weird telling her about all this after the fact too. I mean, I don't want to burden her with the wedding coming up and all but at the same time….she'll kill me for not telling her sooner." Seth somewhat laughed to himself.

"She's your sister and she loves you. You were there for her when she went through her depression after Sam left her. I'm sure she'll want to be there for you too." Collin assured Seth.

* * *

The day seemed to drag on for Seth but he found himself able to block out his worries with the help of the music that flowed from his ipod and into his ears. He tried to let it distract him from the mess his life was currently in. But with the promise of a new pack to call home with Embry and Collin, Seth smiled to himself. Of course no one else knew this yet but the three of them but Seth let that encourage him throughout the day whenever he felt sad. Honestly, Seth wished he could be over Embry's house right now with the two of them but he didn't want to intrude and ask if he could stay with them. Instead, he was forced to sit at home and wait until his friends called him over while he was subjected to Sue Clearwater's icy resentment towards him. Since his outing by the pack and the tribe and his public humiliation and exile, Sue Clearwater had not treated her son with anything less than contempt and had been giving him a never ending laundry list of chores to do around the house. Seth laughed to himself at the irony of the situation, considering Sue spent more time in Charlie Swan's bed then at her own home so Seth didn't understand why these chores had to be done since he was the only one home these days. His current project was the cleaning and reorganizing of the basement. Seth rolled his eyes when Sue had demanded he get it done by the end of the day because he knew as well as anyone that it was impossible. For years the family had used the basement as nothing more than a storage space up until Harry Clearwater's death. As Seth rummaged through the boxes, he found himself coming across various things that gave him a warm sense of nostalgia. He came across everything from old board games, worn out clothing, childhood drawings and paintings from grade school. But as Seth went through more and more boxes, he stopped when he realized that everything not only had a family memory…but everything was tied to Jacob….in some shape or form.

When he reached his hand in an old unmarked box, Seth almost cried at the memories and emotion that overcame him. It was a simple deck of cards…a pack Jacob had given him when they were younger when he taught the younger man how to play poker. Seth remembered how proud Jacob had been that he was "corrupting" Seth's innocence as he had put it by teaching him an adult game and how scared Seth was at being caught playing with Jacob and the other guys. Fumbling around the box, Seth found an old beat up jersey that belonged to Jacob when he played for his middle school team. Seth's eyes watered at the sweet memory of it. He held the jersey close to his face and breathed it in. Even though it had washed by his mother numerous times, he could still smell the faint scent and aroma of Jacob. Maybe it was all in his mind…but it was a musky and spicy scent that defined the man that Jacob was but it was mixed with the aroma of the woods and pine. Inhaling the scent, Seth could see Jacob so clearly in his mind. A young Jacob who used to smile more, who laughed more, who had no care in the world besides hanging out with his friends and family on the rez and spending time with Seth. Seth smiled to himself at the memories. Back then, things were better. Times were happier…long before the appearance of vampires and wolves. That time seemed so long ago but back then it felt like they had an eternity to dream to live and to love. Seth fell to the floor, burying his face in the old and worn jersey as he sobbed his heart dry. Everything he had felt, everything he tried to keep bottled up inside him came flooding out as he thought of the man he loved so much, but who hated him so much. Seth never wanted things to come to this…how could he love Jacob so deeply, so unconditionally, only for the older man to continuously rip his heart out and stab it over and over with his hurtful words and actions. Seth knew Jacob cared nothing for him any longer, not even as a friend. He had made that crystal clear. And still, Seth knew that if Jacob came to him now and begged for his forgiveness, Seth would take the older man in his arms without question because that's what true unconditional love was. It came without apology, or explanation or rhyme or reason. But no matter how hard he tried, Seth couldn't deny the fact that he had to move on and forget about Jacob. It hurt Seth just to think of how he could never be loved by Jacob…even if that love was just a as a friend, Seth knew they could never even go back to what they once had before. But how could he move on when he loved him more than his own life and existence? Seth lay on the ground, mourning the loss of all his hopes and dreams. He didn't know how long he stayed on the ground but his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone descending the steps.

"Seth…..what are you doing down here?" a female voice asked. Seth's eyes snapped opened as he lowly raised himself up into a sitting position to see his sister Leah standing at the bottom of the steps, a look of concern on her face.

"Oh um…uh...hey Leah. When did you get back in town?" Seth asked, forcing a happy grin on his face as he quickly wiped away the still damp tears that were on his cheeks. Leah smiled back at her younger brother however it was an unsuccessful attempt as she saw the dampness on his light russet brown cheeks. She sighed to herself as she made her way over to Seth, kicking herself for not calling the house sooner. Since the war had ended three years prior, Leah and Sam continued to tango back and forth about the past and their still present love for each other, but when Sam had in no uncertain terms made it clear where he stood; Leah was left heartbroken and humiliated. To protect herself from the onslaught of verbal abuse and whispers behind her back by her pack and the entire tribe of La Push, Leah tried to build an unemotional mask to wear and hide behind a hateful and bitter wall but it proved too much for her to maintain every time Sam gave her hope that maybe he still loved her but still ran back home to Emily. With Emily and the people of La Push and her extended tribe and mother constantly throwing in her face how happy she should be for her cousin and Sam, Leah faltered and conceded to the fact that she was destined to live as the broken hearted girl who was left for her better cousin. Leah could accept that. She forced herself to. But to give herself something to live for, she decided to find her own purpose by attending school. Something that her mother and some of the tribe people resented her for because it gave Leah her own identity outside the pack. When a date had finally been announced for Sam and Emily's wedding, Leah dived head first into her studies by moving on campus, only returning for short weekends to fulfill her pack duties.

But amidst all of her soul searching and identity preservation, Leah had discovered that she may have left something behind. That something was Seth. While she struggled and fought to break away from La Push and Sam, she began to feel lonely at school and was hit hard with the fact that she had left behind not only jus her brother but one of the few who stood by her and saved her when nobody cared, not even Sam cared about what she was going through. Putting her current assignments for the week on hold, Leah decided to come home for the weekend to visit her brother and make sure everything was okay. However she hadn't anticipated walking in on what she currently saw.

"Seth what are you doing down here? Is mom having another time of the month and demanded the house needs spring cleaning from top to bottom again?" Leah snickered playfully trying to lighten up the mood, but when she saw that the half smile Seth wore didn't even reach his eyes she knew that something was terribly wrong.

"Yeah, you know mom." Seth lied as he began putting things back into the box. Leah watched him intently and placed a hand on his arm to stop him, making him look at his sister.

"You know….Seth…if there's something wrong, you can tell me. Not that you can hide anything from me anyway, you never could..I'm your sister after all." Leah reminded. Seth smiled warmly at her with assurance.

"Nothing's wrong sis. I'm just putting some old stuff away, that's all." Seth replied distractedly as he busied himself with putting things back into boxes again. Leah looked down at what was behind Seth and noticed the jersey she knew Jacob had given Seth long ago. She knew how important it was to both of them and she searched Seth's face for any hint as to what he could be thinking or feeling.

"Seth, you can lie to the pack, you can even lie to mom, but you can't lie to me. Talk to me…please." Leah pleaded.

"Leah…um….I….I really don't want to burden you with it…I…..it's just…I know you're going through a lot with the whole…wedding coming up and…" Seth began but Leah interrupted him. She laid a comforting hand on his shoulder and smiled, shaking her head to toss aside any doubt her younger brother may have had.

"Seth, look at me. You're the only one I have left that really understands me. You've been here for me like no one else and….the least I can do, is hear you out. So just talk to me, please." Leah asked once more. Seth smiled back at his sister, his eyes moistening as he thought of all they had been through together and what he had recently gone though with Jacob and the pack. Seth clutched the jersey tightly, holding it to his chest.

"It's just….you know how it…..feels when, the person you love the most could never love you back?" Seth said as more of a question to himself than to Leah as he looked down at his hands holding the jersey.

"All too well….why? Did something happen? Is there…someone?" Leah asked, already knowing the answer, however she knew Seth didn't know that she knew more than she was letting on but she decided to let him talk first. Seth sniffled quietly as he sighed heavily trying to collect his thoughts.

"God, I've…I've been trying to stay strong…that's why I've always looked up to you Leah. You're always so strong….I've always envied your strength but…. I just don't know. Maybe I'm just too weak to handle all that has been happening." Seth answered.

"Seth what are you talking about? What happened? Please. " Leah pleaded, fearing the worse as she trembled in rage at the prospect of someone hurting her brother.

"I just…I just wish you could understand. I…I wish they all could understand."

"Look, we can play ring around the rosy all around the mulberry bush all day long, but until you just spit it out, I won't be able to help you. So just tell me. Just be straight with me." Said with a soft laugh, trying to drag out whatever dark secret Seth was trying to keep from her. Seth turned to look up at his sister, his large innocent eyes wet with tears that began to spill out and Leah almost gasped in horror at seeing the heartache in his eyes.

"That's the thing Leah…I…I can't be straight. That's why everyone hates me. Leah...I'm…I'm not like everybody else….I…I'm not like the other guys at school, or the guys in the pack…I…..I don't dream about…girls like they do…..I know I never told you this but…I'm gay. I hope…that you don't hate me now too." Seth explained as he turned away in shame. Leah sat staring at her brother for a minute in relief, happy that the day had finally come where he could talk to her about this. She had always known Seth was gay but didn't want to intrude or pry like a nosey sister and therefore waited for Seth to say something first. But when she realized her silence and internal thinking might have been taken as rejection, she quickly pulled her brother in for a hug. Seth was a little shocked as he felt her chest on which his head was laid, rumble with the laughter of relief and reassurance.

"Oh Seth, of course you're gay. I've always known that silly. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, do you understand me." Leah spoke lovingly. Seth looked up to her with wide curious eyes.

"Really? But…but how..I mean…when….did you know?" Seth asked, wondering how Leah ever knew. Seth always knew he wasn't the most masculine type of guy…some might even call him soft..But he never knew he was that obvious.

"Oh please Seth, I grew up with you. I practically helped raise you. I know you better than you know yourself sometimes. I've known you were gay since we were kids. " Leah answered.

"How come you never said anything?" Seth asked again. Leah pulled Seth down to the floor with her so they could sit as she tried to explain her side of the story. They sat together, leaning up against the wall as she took his hand in hers.

"Well, I wanted to. But I didn't want to sound as if I was accusing you of being gay. I was just wondering why you didn't trust me enough to come to me and talk to me about it. But I'm not ignorant, I understand how hard it must be to feel like you can't be honest with people for fear that they would hate you.….so I know…it would be hard for you to come out to people, especially here in this small town. Even though I knew….I was just waiting till you felt comfortable enough in who you are to say something first." Leah explained. "But Seth…you have to know, there's nothing wrong with that. It's natural…you can't help who you are, and you shouldn't try. It's kind of like your shape-shifting gene. It's part of who you are. It's not all of you, but it is still part of you."

Seth smiled through his tears at the new revelation that his sister supported him. He hugged her again and she held him tightly and it was at times like this that Seth wished that Leah was his mother instead of Sue.

"I…I guess I'm just…a bit in shock. I mean…..I know there's nothing wrong with me. I didn't ask for this but….other people don't see it that way. How come….you're so…accepting?" Seth inquired.

"Oh come on Seth, give me some credit. I'm not as stupid as a lot of these conservatives out here who look down their nose at people. I know you can't help it. At least you have the balls enough to admit the truth. Besides, I'm your sister. I love you no matter what. And don't listen to what other people say, okay. You know who you are, and that's all that matters. You should be proud of who you are, no matter what everyone else has to say." Leah said as she patted him on the back in a comforting manner. Seth sighed as he took in her words but when reality sunk in, he knew he was still no better off than he was at the beginning of the day.

"It's not that easy Leah…to just ignore others you know….I….." Seth started but couldn't finish his sentence as he thought of Jacob. Leah watched Seth and knew there was something more that he hadn't revealed.

"Seth…what's wrong?" Leah asked. "Seth did someone hurt you!?"

"No…well….I don't know…" Seth said unsure. So much had happened in Leah's absence, he didn't even know where to start. Leah looked down at the jersey Seth was holding and it was if something she already knew had rushed to the forefront of her mind, something from their childhood she had known all along but had never vocalized…until now.

"This…Seth, this is about Jake…isn't it?" Leah said bitterly in more of statement than a question, because she knew beyond reason that whatever had happened, she knew Jacob was responsible for Seth's current sadness and pain and she was not going to stand for it. Seth looked to his sister and meekly nodded his head as another tear slipped down his cheek.

"Look…just start from the beginning." Leah instructed, and so Seth did. He began with the day that Jake had held the small get together at his house, and related that to how many times Jacob had stood up against the pack and others just for him. He explained how all their lives they had been close but Seth had kept the secret from Jacob, that he was in love with him and had been since they were young. Seth recounted the horrible day he had made the mistake of confessing to Jacob and how Jacob had lashed out at him violently and rejected him followed by his public humiliation and exile from the pack and his last effort to apologize to Jacob only to have it thrown back in his face when he went to visit Jacob at his house. Seth tried his best to hold in his tears as he explained his story, but the more he recounted the events the heavier the lump in his throat grew until he just sobbed uncontrollably. Leah pulled Seth into her arms as he finished his story, running her hand through his hair lovingly and holding him protectively as she tried to give her strength to him. The story made her want to cry and she hated herself for being away for so long and too caught up in her own life away from La Push to notice that the same torment she had once endured was now being forced on Seth.

"Jacob, that bastard…how could he do that to you?" Leah cursed as she held Seth. "Seth…I...I'm so sorry this happened to you..And I'm so sorry…I wasn't there to protect you." Leah apologized.

"It's not your fault Leah..…it's fine…it's okay. I guess I deserve this." Seth cried.

"No! No you don't deserve this Seth! Do you understand me! And this is not okay! Damn it! How could the pack do this to you…how could the Elders think this is okay? How could Jacob…do this?!" Leah shouted with fury, almost scaring Seth.

"Please Leah…just forget it." Seth said with defeat.

"No! I'm going to put a stop to this. Don't worry Seth, I'm going to handle this!" Lea said with finality.

"Leah no! Please! Don't! It'll just make things worse. I'm the one they hate…I don't want you to get involved." Seth pleaded.

"Seth! I love you, I'm your sister…I'm already involved. When they hurt you, they crossed me. I'm not leaving you to face this alone. I'm your sister, it's my job to be there for you…I just…I'm sorry Seth. I've been so caught up in my own pain; I didn't stop to realize you were hurting so much too." Leah apologized.

"Please Leah, it's not your fault at all. It's mine…."Seth assured his sister but Leah shook her head in disagreement.

"No, this is not your fault. It's Jacob's. Had he not told the pack and the elders then the whole tribe wouldn't know…hell, if he had at least handled this better and found a better way to say he just wanted to be friends then this never would have happened. He could have at least respected you enough to keep it in between the two of you." Leah said with finality.

"It doesn't matter now….everything's over now." Seth said looking down at the jersey he still held tightly in his hands.

"No it's not Seth. Look Seth…..you've been here for me, now I'm going to be here for you." Leah said as she pulled her brother into a tight hug vowing not to leave his side again.

"Thank you Leah…thanks for being here…for being my sister." Seth said. "They'll be glad to hear this." Seth thought he had said that to himself but he realized all too lat what he had said out loud when Leah pulled Seth up and looked at him curiously.

"They? …Seth…who else is gay?" Leah asked with a smile. But Seth merely laughed out loud as he pulled her back in for a hug.

"Oh Leah, you have no idea." Seth said. He figured eventually he would tell her about Embry and Collin and just maybe she would want to join their pack too. But for now, he just wanted to enjoy spending time with his sister.

* * *

Leah ran through the unending stretch of trees across the short distance from the Clearwater residence to the other side of the reservation where Sam and Emily's cabin was. As she came to the clearing and the small but cozy home came into her line vision, she halted, somewhat apprehensive but still her bubbling rage was there. But this time she stopped to laugh at herself bitterly at the ironic twist of fate and the situation. The last time she remembered storming here in the early hours of the morning, it was out of heartbreak, confusion and rage, but…it was all for her…for her feelings, for what she had been put through. But now, that rage stemmed from one thing only. Seth. Her only brother…her only friend left in this world.

Leah could honestly admit that she had finally come to a place in life where she had let go of the pain of Sam's betrayal, of his lies, of his abandonment. Leah had even finally accepted that she would never be fully accepted and supported by her fellow pack mates or the shallow and simple minded people of the tribe, she had accepted that Sue would never be the true mother she needed her to be, instead of a selfish woman who favored Emily over her own daughter. All this, Leah could accept and get over because she had come to a place in her life where she simply no longer cared. She knew in the end, no matter what happened that she would be okay and that she had someone above looking out for her, her father and someone still here on this earth who loved her more than anything, her brother. But to learn the truth of what was transpiring in her absence to the only person she had left enraged her, taking her back to that place she had so long forced herself to forget. However Leah didn't know if she should curse herself for being so selfish in her desire to find her own destiny outside of La Push, which inadvertently caused her to neglect Seth. But as she looked at the cabin with chipped paint, a cabin she herself had once dreamt of spending the rest of her days in with the man she once loved more than all others she knew that she could never forget how the pain felt…how it continued to feel every day and that's why she did what she had to…to save herself. She couldn't fault herself for that. But just beyond that door was someone she could blame and as she marched up the dirt path driveway, she vowed to never let Seth fall to the dark place she had once been to all because of love.

"Sam! Open the door now!" Leah shouted as she banged on the heavy oak door, her inner wolf straining to awaken and tear the door from its hinges and force her way in. She waited impatiently as her wolf hearing picked up on Emily's frightened gasp, Sam's cursing and rustling of clothes as he raced towards the front door. As the door opened quickly to reveal a not too happy Sam with sleep and impatience evident in his eyes and the stress of his pack duties showing in the stress lines of his forehead, Leah amused herself by the thought that Sam still looked quite handsome, and her heart fluttered still for the one person she thought she loved…the person she still loved no matter how much it killed her. She hardened her heart and her resolve as she looked at Sam with just as much sternness as he was showing her.

"Leah what the hell, what is it? It's five in the morning." Sam began as he looked at Leah with confusion and tiredness, not understanding why the lone female shifter was at his door step.

"Get outside now Uley, we need to talk." Leah spat as she nodded her head towards the porch steps and walked away, expecting him to follow. Sam sighed heavily as he stepped outside the house in a mere pair of cut off jeans and followed Leah down the porch steps and to the path that led up the drive way. But before Sam could anticipate Leah's motive s or reasons for being here, she swiftly turned around and shoved him hard in the chest with just enough strength to knock the wind out of him.

"Leah! What the hell? What is the meaning of…?"

"You sick son of a bitch! How dare you! How fucking dare you!" Leah snapped.

"What?!" Sam asked again with anger this time evident in his voice. "Is this still about me and Emily again?!" Leah just rolled her eyes in annoyance. She figured Sam would jump to that conclusion.

"Oh get over yourself Uley. You know very well why I'm here. How could you?! How could you do that to him?!" Leah shouted.

"Him? Who…..what are you talking about?!" Sam asked again trying to calm Leah down as he fought the urge to take in how much more beautiful Leah looked since the last time her had seen her.

"Seth, damn it!" she spat, turning away from Sam. An eternal silence seemed to fall between them as tears fell from Leah's eyes out of hurt and frustration and the realization of what had transpired with the pack and Seth dawned upon Sam as he remembered what they did. Sam's jaw stiffened at the memory. Personally, Sam didn't know what to think o Seth. He felt conflicted because he couldn't agree with what he felt was Seth's choice. He couldn't understand d why Seth would choose to be that way and go against their very own culture and heritage but at the same time it killed him to abandon Seth and treat him the way that they had. He didn't like one bit how far things had went that night. He didn't want things to get to that level but things just got out of hand and before he knew it…he had fed Seth to the wolves…literally.

"Lee…." Sam began in a soft and gentle voice but he was met with another hard shove to the chest.

"God damn you Sam, don't _Lee Lee_ me! Not now! Whether you like it or not, this isn't about us. I gave up on us a long time ago! But this is about Seth! How could you do that to him? How could you let them treat Seth this way?! Huh?! I don't care about what stones are thrown between us, but Seth is all I have and you know that. When I'm not there I trust you to look out for him, to protect him…" Leah shouted in angry tears.

"Leah!Don't you think I know this already!? I tried...I do protect him….but what do you want me to do about this?! Seth made his choice; I can't defend him when he doesn't deserve protection." Sam said with anger and hurt evident in his voice but all too late realized the mistake he had made at the poor excuse he had given.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Leah replied with arrogance as she stepped back, a cold look in her eyes at his words.

"Look…I'm sorry….I didn't mean it that way….it's just….this whole thing is Seth's fault in some way. He chose this and he's the one that came onto Jacob. You see, this whole thing has gotten everyone fired up and confused. And this is why that kind of thing is frowned upon in our culture…this is why it never leads to anything good…why it could break up the pack…the tribe." Sam tried to explain but Leah merely scoffed at him in disbelief.

"First of all, Jacob is a liar. Furthermore; you're stupid and you care nothing about Seth because you know damn well he would never do something like that. Even if he did confess to Jacob…..he would never force himself or his feelings on anyone. Unlike you guys, Seth actually cares about other people and their feelings. He puts people before himself. He always has….but I guess you were too busy following the pack and the Elders and what they wanted you to do rather than think for yourself!" Leah countered. Something inside Sam felt offended though at the thought of not only Leah questioning Sam's love for Seth but his leadership role as the beta within the pack now that Jacob was alpha. It was a sore and sensitive spot that was jabbed at one too many times by the sleeping scarred woman in the house.

"You're fucking pushing it Leah! I care about Seth, I do! But what could I have done? Jacob is the alpha and I'm a beta now. I can't put one wolf's feelings before the entire pack. I have to put the welfare of the entire pack first and if they don't want any part of Seth, who am I to disagree with them. What he is….it's just…not right. How are we to function as a pack when Seth is causing trouble like this? His behavior is completely out of line." Sam said sternly.

"So are you telling me you agree with those jerks?!" Leah asked.

"Look…..I just don't know, okay. God damn it! I'm not sure what I think about the whole situation…I mean….maybe it would be different if he was just a normal kid. You know I've always cared about Seth…I love him like a little brother, I always will…but he's a wolf. As a wolf it is his obligation to….I mean if he's a homosexual there's no way he could pass on the wolf gene and continue our line." Sam tried to rationalize.

"Seriously?! Are you fucking kidding me!? Is that all you care about?! Making babies and passing on your precious wolf gene?!" Leah snapped loudly.

"Keep your voice down Leah damn it! Stop yelling for one second! You'll wake Emily." Sam reprimanded, looking cautiously back down the road to his cabin. Leah looked at him with disgust in her eyes and Sam had to admit he didn't like the change. Even when he broke her heart she still looked at him with the same amount of love as always but she had grown and changed so much since then. She was moving further and further away from the pack, the tribe and from him to find her own identity and life and Sam didn't like that one bit because he knew one day he would lose her for good.

"God forbid I do that, it would be the end of your fucking world." Leah spat. "You know what Sam; just go back inside the house. Emily will be worried. But know this…..this was the final straw Sam. I can't do this anymore. With the wedding come up and…I…you hurt me before, but hurting Seth...hurting the only one I have left is crossing the line. I will protect him the best way I know how. I don't maybe…maybe I'll take him with me…away from this shit hole you guys call a life…" Leah ranted.

"You can't fucking do that! You guys are a part of the pack…a part of our tribe! God damn it Leah, stop being so fucking selfish! You two belong here! You can't just leave!" Sam yelled, but it was more out of desperation and fear than by the sternness and authority he usually yelled in. The thought of Leah leaving...and taking Seth with her…Sam just couldn't fathom…couldn't accept the idea.

"I don't owe you or this fucking pack anything! I don't owe the tribe anything! And as of two nights ago, Seth is no longer a part of a pack since Jake and the rest of you ass wipes beat him like some fucking dog and threw him out! Just know this Sam…I won't let you or Jake do to Seth what you did to me. I won't let him become like me! I won't!" With that, Leah turned away from Sam as tears rolled down her eyes. Sam stood there in silence watching her go, but he didn't know what to say…he was too choked up and too shocked by the realization of her threats. What is he did leave? What is he never saw her or Seth for that matter again? And what did she mean by she was done with him? What did she mean when she said she had given up on him?

* * *

Seth kept his head down as he checked out his purchases at the cash register. The cashier, an older heavy set woman with long nails and an overpowering perfume kept giving him a scrutinizing glare as she rung out his items. Seth tried to keep his eyes downcast at his shoes. He knew she knew. Everyone knew by now. That was the drawback of living in a small town on the reservation, gossip traveled fast; especially in a tight knight community such as La Push where one's personal business became everyone's business. Seth hadn't been able to walk down the street to the grocery store without passing by a group of young people who pointed and taunted him, snickering before calling him the rez fag or walking by older adults who looked at him with shame and disdain. The pack's gossip about Seth's coming out had probably reached all the way to Fork and maybe he even Port Angeles. Since that day, Seth had tried to keep a low profile and stay indoors. There was not much need to go outdoors anyway with his recent banishment from the pack, but the need to get outdoors and feel the wind against his skin

As Seth made his way to the door with his little bag of food, he collided into someone big that felt to Seth like the equivalent of hitting a brick wall of warm muscle. Seth fell back, his food spilling onto the ground as he looked up in dismay. His heart broke at the sight of the one he had bumped into, Jacob; the very man whom he loved more than life itself and the very man who had broken his heart endless times. Seth knew, today would be no different as he feebly stood up, his head already spinning a mile a minute as he took in the sight of the gorgeous and beautiful man before him.

"Dude, watch where the fuck you're…" Jacob began rudely but stopped short when he looked down to see who had collided with him. A lump formed instantly in Jacob's throat at the sight of Seth. Jacob sighed heavily in frustration. It was as if fate hated him. A part of him loved the fact that he could see Seth. He hadn't seen the younger man in almost a week since that horrible day he had hurt Seth when the younger man came to his house. But a part of him hated having to face his true feelings for the boy. Jacob fidgeted nervously as he looked to his left nervously, as if he was caught red handed. Seth followed his gaze and the younger man's heart broke in a million pieces all over again at the sight of the beautiful raven haired girl that clung onto Jacob's arm. She was scantily dressed in a pair of denim leggings and a too tight blouse that accentuated her curvy figure. Over her shoulders was draped one of Jacob's many leather jackets since it had gotten mysteriously chilly the past few days and Seth instantly knew without question that Jacob must be having sex with her. He didn't know what was going on between Jacob and Bella, but if there was trouble between the two he knew Jacob would be using any girl he could get to take his sexual frustrations out on and find release. The fact alone broke Seth's heart knowing that while his heart bled for Jacob who would never love him back, Jacob was making love to someone else every night. Seth's eyes met Jacob's and he looked away nervously.

"I'm sorry..I…I didn't mean to…I didn't see um…" Seth mumbled as he reached down to gather his spilled food into the bag he held.

"Seth…." Jacob merely whispered anxiously as he looked down at Seth. However, the girl standing beside Jacob merely looked between the two watching the entire exchange and her eyes lit up in realization as she stared at Seth longer.

"Oh….um…Seth…as in Seth Clearwater? Wow…I haven't seen you around since …what eighth grade?" the girl said with a smile. Jacob turned to look at her in annoyance and he rolled his eyes. Seth merely smiled with surprise and nervousness at the irony of the situation. He merely smiled back as he looked at her and he remembered her face as he gazed at her.

"A…Amanda? Is that you?" Seth asked warmly, trying his best not to look in Jacob's direction and anger the man any further. He remembered her from middle school. She sat with her friends just in front of Seth. He remembered Amada always hung with the popular crowd but she herself was actually very sweet and would talk to Seth on occasion. He hadn't seen her since he began high school but heard that she moved away. Still, it stung his heart a lot knowing that she was sleeping with Jacob now but Seth figured that it was just as well, from what he remembered, she always had a crush on Jacob. But Seth secretly wondered where exactly did Jacob pick her up?

"Yeah it's me. All grown up. My folks and I moved back to the rez after my mother got laid off in New York. So how have you been?" Amanda asked, answering Seth's question as to why she wasn't treating him with the same disdain everyone else was showing towards him. Apparently she had just moved back recently so she knew next to nothing of the rumors about him going on. But nearby, Jacob was growing restless and annoyed watching the short exchange between the two and he sighed heavily drawing attention to himself as he rubbed a hand over his face tiredly.

"Look Amanda, can you go wait in the store for me. I'll be in a minute." Jacob said in a stern voice that was more demanding than asking. Amanda turned to look at Jacob with confusion.

"But Jake, I thought you said we were in a hurry to…" Amanda began but Jacob's temper exploded, knowing full well what she was about to say as he cut her off mid sentence. If he didn't have more control, he could have sworn that he would back hand her across the face.

"Bitch, I said go in the fucking store and wait for me, are you deaf or something!?" Jacob shouted. Amanda and Seth both looked shocked but not wanting to piss him off anymore than he was Amanda recovered quickly and just scoffed.

"Whatever. Fine." She replied before turning to Seth. "Maybe I'll see you around some time Seth. We should catch up soon." Amanda said quickly as she turned to walk in through the entrance to the store. Before Seth could react, Jacob had grabbed him gruffly by the arm and dragged him completely outside toward the parking lot where not many people were.

Now that they were alone, Seth felt the tension ease back into the atmosphere and he kept his eyes down as to avoid meeting Jacob's piercing glare, trying his best to ignore the heated place on his arm that Jacob was touching. As Seth attempted to leave, Jacob's large strong hand roughly gripped tighter around him preventing him from leaving.

"Where the fuck are you going!? You don't get to leave until I let you go!" Jacob spat with venom. Jacob however cringed inwardly at what he had just done as he saw the hurt cross Seth's face yet again. Jacob was just scared. He didn't want Seth to leave. He wanted to see Seth…to have more time to look at him…to be with him…but after everything that he had done, after everything that had happened the last time…there was nothing he could say to keep Seth around, he knew that. So all he thought he could do was push his anger to the surface as an excuse to keep Seth there with him…even for just a couple of minutes.

"I said I was sorry… …." Seth said meekly as he tried to squirm out of Jacob's hold. Jacob scoffed at Seth's response and mocked him though as he pulled the boy closer to his body. They were so close Seth could smell the sweat of Jacob mixing with his Armani cologne and he had to admit it smelt divine on him but he knew that Jacob was wearing it for the girl he had so casually picked up to have sex with.

"Oh, so you think just because you say sorry for something that makes everything okay? Huh?" Jacob said, his voice raising higher. Seth looked around the outside of the store seeing if anyone was watching them but it was just his luck that of all the times for people to stare and point, the parking lot was completely dead and no one was around except for the few who walked out of the store and to their cars.

"Answer me when I'm talking to you, damn it!" Jacob shouted, shaking Seth against him as he saw Seth's eyes drift away. Jacob didn't want to hurt Seth anymore, but he didn't know what else to do and he was growing impatient at the idea that Seth was not paying any attention to him. He wanted the boy's eyes on him at all times like they always used to be. Seth finally turned to look at Jacob, his heart aching to be loved and held gently by the man before him as his eyes watered.

"Jake, what more do you want?! I'm out of the pack…and I'm trying my best to stay out of your life and out of your way…." Seth said as his lip trembled, he was trying so hard to stay strong but no matter what he did to ground himself, Jacob always was there with those angry eyes to tear him back down. Seeing Seth's tears was too much for Jacob to handle and he stepped back, letting go of Seth and putting some distance in between them. But it killed Jacob because all he wanted was to force himself on the younger man, take him in his arms and kiss him. Instead, he used angry words to mask how he really felt.

"My God, will you just stop fucking crying all the time? You're such a fag!" Jacob spat bitterly and Seth just cringed at the derogatory comment.

"You're right…you're absolutely right Jake." Seth agreed bitterly as tears spilled from his eyes. Seth wiped his cheeks before turning to walk away. This was all too much like the last time Seth ran away, when Jacob had hurt him. But Jacob couldn't stop hurting him…he didn't know why…he didn't know how to stop. He wanted to give into his feelings, but he was so scared. Scared of what other people would think of him...scared of what others would say...scared of being rejected and cast out…

"_The same way you rejected and cast Seth out….."_

A voice said, Jacob almost did a double take. He thought it must be his own thoughts, his guilt eating away at him.

"Seth wait! Things didn't have to be….." Jacob began but he gave into his fears as he shouted in anger and frustration. "Damn you Seth, things didn't have to be this way. This is your fucking fault! You ruined us! You ruined everything! I cared for you, you were my best friend….but you ruined this, not me! So don't try to make me feel like the guilty one, all of this is your own doing. Besides, why the fuck would you want to be a fag! It's so…it's just sick okay! It's fucking disgusting..I can't even fucking look at you, wondering how long you've been looking at me like that! I can't….I can't even…." Jacob tried to finish the sentence but he couldn't. The lump in his throat felt heavier and heavier. It was like a weight inside him was drowning him, crushing him beneath its force and all too soon that dam broke loose as Jacob melted into angry sobs, his tears spilled forward as he shouted expletives over and over again at his own weakness. Seeing his tears and his outburst was both shocking and heartbreaking to Seth because it just confirmed what Seth already knew. This was his fault entirely. Seeing Jacob so broken, so sad and upset and defeated made him weep. Jacob had always been strong, masculine, undefeatable…even when they were kids he hated crying in front of others but now….Seth knew Jacob was a good man, a good person, a strong and reliable leader, a hero to their people who just wanted to do the right thing and Seth could see now just how selfish it was of him to put Jacob in this horrible situation.

"Jake…I never once blamed you! You're right! You're right about everything. But I'm just so sorry for everything. I truly am…..I'm sorry for confessing to you, I'm sorry for ruining your life….and I'm sorry for loving you…" Seth cried as he covered his mouth as if he couldn't bear to utter them. And hearing those words made Jacob choke on his own tears as he lashed out in fear of what Seth meant.

"No! You…you don't fucking mean that! You love me! I know you do!" Jacob cried angrily as his tears continued to fall.

"Of course I love you...and I probably always will...but that doesn't change the fact that you hate me and there's nothing I can do to show how sorry I am! That won't change the disgust in your eyes every time you look at me! My love for you won't stop my mother from hating me and saying what a disappointment I am, it won't stop the pack from taunting me and casting me out, it won't stop the Elders from shunning me, it won't stop the tribe from knowing just what I am and looking at me like I'm some shameful disease when I just walk down the street….none of that will change because you and everyone else are right, this love I have for you… …maybe it's wrong, I'm wrong…I'm a sinner…a freak…but I don't know how to stop feeling this way." Seth sobbed. Jacob felt as if he was bleeding inside as he watched Seth try his best to remain calm and strong despite the break down they were both going through. But Jacob didn't know what hurt worse, trying to admit to his feelings and letting go of the hatred and anger…or the fact that he now realized just how much Seth felt that he and everyone else hated him. Jacob knew he had pushed Seth away with what they did and how he had been treating the younger man, but he couldn't take the fact that Seth truly believed that everyone hated him so much.

"Seth…please…..just…..I have to….damn it Seth…." Jacob continued to cry. Seth knew it was a risk. He knew he shouldn't push his luck. But they were both broken and in pain. Seth thought, if he could just reach Jacob..If he could touch him, hold him..let him cry it out…let him know that he was there for him, just maybe he could find his way back into his heart. Seth slowly, and gently reached for Jacob to hug him but…he was violently pushed away.

"DON'T TOUCH ME YOU FUCKIGN FAGGOT! JUST GO AWAY!" Jacob spat venomously, through his painful tears. Seth began to tear up again as he smiled sadly at Jacob….the one he knew he had lost for good this time. And maybe this time would be the last. Maybe…it was time for Seth to leave and…move on.

"I'm sorry Jake." Seth said as he turned to leave and ran as fast as his legs could carry him. Jacob watched horrified as the previous day's encounter replayed itself.

"SETH! SETH COME BACK HERE!" Jacob cried as he shouted across the parking lot but Seth had disappeared. Jacob cursed and shouted and he was grateful no one was around to see him lashing out like a mad man but he knew that something would fall soon. He was reaching a breaking point…he knew they both were. He just didn't know how to let go of his fear and confusion. He didn't know how to accept himself for what he was…he didn't know how to accept his love for Seth. What would the world say if he came out? What would his pack, his family, his tribe say? But…If he wasn't happy…if he was miserable…did any of that matter? Jacob couldn't take one more night without seeing Seth…without seeing the old Seth who used to smile and laugh…he couldn't take another night not holding his friend…he couldn't take not being near him…not loving him. And more than anything, Jacob couldn't take another moment of hurting the one he knew he loved the most.


	10. LOVE 'n' HATE episode II

AUTHOR'S NOTE - Here's another update for you all. I am still in the midst of responding to all of the reviews but I just wanted to extend my deepest and most sincerest gratitude to each and every one of you. You guys continue to amaze me with your words of encouragement and I don't know where this story would be without your continuous faith and belief in it. Thank you so much. I'm pleased to share this new chapter with you and I hope you guys will enjoy it. This is definitely a huge turning point in the story and stay tuned for more because I originally had planned to post two new chapters simultaneously but the editing process took longer than expected. As soon as I finish editing chapter eleven, I will post it as well. Happy reading and thanks again :)

WARNING! - This chapter contains mature material and adult content including language and sexual subject matter, please be warned. If you are offended or easily disturbed by such material please DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER.

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CHAPTER 10

"Hey bro, you feeling any better?" Leah asked as she poked her head from around the door. Seth stirred from his place in bed, poking his head above the comforter.

"Oh Leah. Hey. Come on in." Seth answered excitedly through his broken and cracked sleep deprived voice.

Leah walked in, worry evident in her face as she came into Seth's room, sitting on his bed and smiling at him warmly. Since the formation of their small pack, Embry and Collin had been staying the last few nights with Leah and Seth, trying their best to protect Seth, but from what they couldn't understand. Over the course of the last couple of nights, Seth's dreams had become increasingly worse to the point that he would awaken them all with a blood curdling scream. But the most horrific truth of the matter was that whatever Seth was experiencing during his night terrors was having an effect on him physically for he would awaken to scars and cuts along his arms. It terrified them so much that they had tried sleeping in the same room together with him to provide comfort and relief but not even Embry, Collin and Leah knew what to do for Seth and with no one to turn to for help it made their situation all the more horrifying.

"Hey, I just got back from the grocery store. I can't believe how low on supplies this house has been. Where the heck is mom at these days? I tried calling her cell but it kept going to voice mail." Leah explained. Seth smiled sadly, both of them knowing the truth. The past week, Sue Clearwater had been neglecting her children, choosing to spend her nights with her new love, Sheriff Charlie Swan.

"You know mom. She's been staying over at Charlie's place." Seth said with a shrug as he sat up in his bed. Leah rolled her eyes and just shook her head in shame. Here they were, struggling to protect Seth from the abuse and mistreatment of the pack and the tribe as well as these new nightmares that were escalating so badly that they were hurting the young wolf physically, and yet their own mother was absent simply because she didn't care.

"You would almost think being an elder and the sheriff's new woman meant more to her than her own kids." Leah said coldly.

It had gotten so bad that Seth couldn't even go outside the house because the whole tribe knew of his secret and the townspeople would mock and made snide remarks whether he was going to the store or to the library. But just when Seth thought he couldn't take anymore, the same nightmares he had been experiencing of the hoofed beast coming after him had become so real that he was waking up to scars. Thankfully his wolf healing ability would recover him throughout the day but it was getting to the point that he was scared to even close his eyes sometimes.

"It doesn't matter. At least I have you…at least we have each other." Seth replied, taking Leah's hand in his own and smiling at his sister. Leah leaned in and gently kissed Seth on the forehead before standing up.

"Always Seth. Look, I'm going to go check in on the two love birds, make sure they're behaving. You get some more rest okay." Leah encouraged. Seth nodded his head as he watched Leah make her way out of his room. As he lay there in bed, looking out of his window, he secretly wondered if whatever he felt was coming after him was a punishment for what he had done to Jacob and what the repercussions of him coming out had put the pack and tribe through.

"_Maybe I deserve this."_

Leah had just walked downstairs and into the kitchen to find Embry and Collin at the dinner table, the table covered with various encyclopedias and textbooks of tribal myths and histories. She noticed they were both looking through various books while smiling to each other as she caught a glimpse of Embry attempting to play footsie with Collin underneath the table while the younger wolf was quietly giggling to himself. Leah smiled to herself, thankful that at least their love story had turned out happily even thought they were an outcast pack now, but that didn't matter. She knew nothing else in the world mattered when you were with the person you loved. She only wished that her brother Seth could someday be so lucky. But a sinking feeling told her that it may not be possible unless they decide to leave La Push behind for good.

"Alright you two love birds." Leah said, trying to clear her throat and get their attention. "Please tell me you have good news with your part of the investigation." Leah said, taking a seat in front of the two.

"No such luck. Well….not anything worth looking into." Embry admitted with disappointment as he shut a psychology book on the psychosomatic effects of dreams.

"What do you mean?" Leah asked.

"Well I know it's been hard for him, but I've been asking Seth to write down his dreams for me." Embry answered. "Just so we can have something to go by when reference checking. That's why I asked you to bring back some books on psychology from your school. I figured maybe there was some sort of psychological reasoning behind the night terrors he's been experiencing. Maybe, the stress of everything that's happened has been getting to him." Embry explained further.

"Embry, I've been trying to tell you…it's more than just stress. Not with him waking up to physical scars." Collin reminded Embry.

"You know, it's kind of similar to something I heard my dad tell me years ago." Leah replied. "When I was a kid, dad once told me about an uncle of his who had nightmares for years and he would wake up to find himself…almost brutalized and sore from whatever he had dreamt."

"Oh my god, you're kidding right?" Collin asked in shock.

"No…I mean….wow….really I hadn't even thought about it until now. He never really went into the details but he only brought it up one time during one of our father daughter days. Mom didn't like to hear about tribal folklore and myths back then. That was before she learned about our real heritage." Leah answered.

"So what happened to his uncle?" Embry asked cautiously.

"Oh…um….he killed himself." Leah said nervously.

An eerie silence settled upon the trio as they all simultaneously looked towards the stairway that led to the second floor, as if looking towards Seth and worry filled their hearts. They were really at a loss of what to do. They had tried asking anyone they knew but many of the Quileute townspeople and families who weren't directly related to the elders or the pack members knew almost nothing about the supernatural or tribal myths regarding that subject. And now that they were an exiled pack, they couldn't go to the elders for help. They felt like they were standing on their own.

"This all seems kind of weird though, you know. Like...the four us, being a pack now. Our patrols have now become watching over Seth while he sleeps. I just wonder sometimes if the others even think about us…if they're even concerned about us. I mean…we practically stay here now just because there's no one we can really turn to for help….well besides Ms. Call and my dad." Collin said fearfully. Embry wrapped a comforting arm around his boyfriend, pulling the younger wolf in to lean on him.

"I know what you mean. But…the pack, they made their opinions crystal clear to me." Embry stated in a serious tone.

"I just want you guys to know…I really appreciate all this…I mean…all that you're doing…all that you have already done, especially in my absence" Leah said, thanking the two male wolves in front of her. "I can't believe Seth was too scared to come to me sooner when all of this shit went down. But I'm glad he had you guys. We're the only real family he has right now…..I'm just grateful you guys are here."

Embry and Collin both smiled at Leah in gratitude.

"No problem Leah. Seth's my best friend. We're going to always be here for him." Collin assured her.

"Definitely. We're all a pack now….the four of us. We're all we have now. We're going to have to be here for each other now more than ever." Embry agreed.

"Right, starting with these…dreams." Leah said with an unsettling uncertainty.

"You know, Seth has been telling us he's been suffering from these vivid dreams since…when was it?" Collin asked.

"Since Jake and the pack kicked him out. Since the night I found him abandoned in the woods." Embry replied bitterly.

"I'm actually getting really scared here. I mean….it's like…I don't know….at first I thought maybe he was so hurt by Jacob and so traumatized by the pack that it was starting to spill over into his dreams. But ever since…." Leah began, thinking of when the dreams had become so bad that Seth was starting to receive cuts along his arms.

"I know. It's like we can't even protect him. How are we supposed to stay watch over him when he's asleep?" Collin asked.

"All we know is…something is after him. But what? I keep trying to think of what we possibly couldn't have thought of." Embry agreed, sifting through several of the books that were scattered on the table before them. Collin gave Embry a sympathetic look before sighing heavily.

"Well I do have theory, but Embry doesn't want to hear it." Collin said grumpily as he turned to Leah. Embry's eyes widened as he caught on to what his boyfriend was talking about and he instantly felt guilty but also a little cautious, remembering his reaction when Collin had proposed the idea based on something he found in one of the books.

"Baby, it's not that I don't want to hear it." Embry assured Collin, touching the younger boy's shoulder and rubbing it gently. "I just think it's a bit of a stretch to start jumping to mythology and ancient…stories."

"Well why not? You guys saw the scars on his arms. Yes they've started to heal but….this is like that movie...nightmare on…oh what is called?" Collin began trying to remember the name of the film he had seen long ago that reminded him of their current situation.

"Elm Street?" Leah asked disbelievingly with a laugh. "What, you think some charbroiled freak with a razor glove is after Seth?"

"No. Not necessarily. But I did find this book here that I thought you guys might find intriguing." Collin said holding up a book that read _Histories and Mythologies of Makah Folklore. _Embry and Leah looked at each other wearily as they eyed the book curiously.

"Wow, where did you find this? I thought we've already scoured the tribal history resource center for books. We've found nothing in the old stories or myths that even hint at what Seth is dreaming about." Leah inquired.

"This isn't from the Quileute tribal libraries, but from our neighbors and remember my dad's peeps; The Makah rez." Collin corrected. Embry did a double take as he looked at Collin in surprise.

"When did you go to the Makah rez?" Embry asked, wondering how that was possible since he and Collin had been around each other almost twenty four seven since they had officially become a new pack.

"I've been keeping my dad up to speed on what's been going on. He's been busy with work but he had just enough time to drive down to the Makah reservation and pick up some books for me. This here is their point of view about the history and origin of the Quileutes." Collin explained.

"So let me guess. This is the answer to all the questions we've been having?" Leah asked.

"Not really but there is a lot talking about different meanings for dreams and symbolism according to their culture and traditions which is somewhat tied to ours since our tribes have existed near each other for centuries." Collin answered a he held up the book, opening it up to the contents that he had found noteworthy. Embry studied what Collin was pointing at and began reading the passage Collin had highlighted.

"It says here that the ancient Makahs remembered hearing stories from their neighbors about a demon with hoofed feet that lived in the mountains." Embry said aloud, paraphrasing what he saw in the book. "It was said to be the shame of their tribe. Something that the people accidently created. What does that mean?"

"Created? What…like our ancestors made this monster that attacks people in their sleep?" Leah asked. Collin shrugged his shoulders as Embry continued to read on.

"Not much is known about the story's origin or authenticity. The tribe of the northern regions was a mysterious group responsible for many supernatural phenomenons that the Makahs and other tribes were weary of. For this reason, they tried to keep their distance, not wanting to be cursed with the fabled magic the Quileutes had claimed to possess." Embry read aloud from the book, leaving them all wondering about what they had just learned.

"That kind of makes sense. Our tribe's stories talk about how other tribes feared us for our magic." Collin recalled from the lessons they were taught from the elders and in school.

"Look there's even a map here." Embry said, turning a few pages to show illustrations of the various lands of the Quileute and the Makahs. But the illustrations shown were quite impressive to the eye. Although it wasn't a photograph, the artist had drawn a very genuine depiction of one of the higher northern mountain ranges of the Quileute lands, particularly; a scene of a high mountain peak that ascended above all others, surrounded by mountainous woods and the pacific drop off on one side.

"Oh my god…Guys, doesn't this place look vaguely familiar?" Leah said immediately, upon recognizing the site. Embry and Collin both looked curiously at the picture before nodding in recognition, recognizing the place from earlier exploration and training they had done as new wolves.

"Hey, that's a picture of some of the more northern territories. We've used those old hunting grounds for training before, haven't we?" Embry stated.

"Yeah….but this one here….this looks vaguely familiar to the cave Seth keeps describing." Leah said another illustration of a cave on one of the mountain peaks. Embry and Collin both looked confused.

"Okay, I've never seen that place before. But it does sound like something Seth has been talking about." Collin agreed.

"Neither have I? But look it says here that the ancient stories believed that the story of the hoofed demon was born from our people." Embry said, reading the caption below the pictures. "A creature of vengeance that was born from the pain of someone who was cast out from the tribe."

"Do you think it's worth checking out? I mean...if this could be somehow connected to what Seth is seeing coming after him…maybe we can find something to confirm the connection." Leah reasoned. But Collin began shaking his head fearfully.

"I don't like this at all. Shouldn't we tell somebody? I mean…." Collin began as worry plagued him about what they're next move was going to be.

"Who are we going to tell Collin?" Embry questioned rhetorically, not expecting an answer. "I practically exiled us myself by leaving the pack. I shouldn't have dragged you down with me. Some new alpha I'm turning out to be."

"Stop it Embry. You did the right thing. You stood up for the people you love. If that's not what a real leader is than I don't know what is. It's more than I could ever say for Jacob or Sam." Leah encouraged the man, trying to make him see that he did the right thing in protecting all of them.

"Still doesn't help our situation. I thought…alphas were supposed to always know what to do. I thought I could protect him. How can we protect him from something we can't even see…from something we have no idea what it is." Embry argued.

"We won't know for sure until we check it out." Leah said encouragingly. "Seth said he ran into it before and he keeps dreaming about it. Maybe we should see if there is something there that can give us a clue as to what Seth is up against."

"But what if we're wrong? I mean….ghosts? Spirits of our ancestors haunting us now? This all seems way too young adult novella sounding to me." Embry debated, not really knowing what to do but wanting to make the right decision.

"What else could it be? Seth said he keeps dreaming about himself and Jacob in a similar location. It's like he's reliving some memory. Maybe it could be….I don't know, astral projection, retro cognition….who knows." Collin suggested as he agreed with Leah. "Either way, it's worth checking out."

"I just wish this would have happened before I left the pack that way we could ask for help." Embry mused. He wanted to show the others that he could be a strong and decisive leader but in his gut he really didn't feel right about this. It was as if something was telling him not to go, but since Leah and Collin thought it was a good idea, Embry decided to relent. Sighing heavily, he nodded his head in agreement with them. "Okay we'll go check it out. But we've got to make it quick. I don't feel right about leaving Seth here alone for too long."

"We'll be fine. We can do it, I know we can. Shouldn't take more than a couple of hours. Let's get going." Collin nodded as he hugged Embry, who took the younger boy in his arms and pulled him in for a tight hold, wrapping the smaller boy possessively in his strong arms. Embry kissed the side of Collin's cheek affectionately and the boy blushed as they shared a moment together. Leah smiled at them before making her exit; wanting to give the two wolves some privacy.

Making her way back upstairs, Leah entered Seth's room who was now just staring off in the distance through his window. She hated to see her once lively and happy brother reduced to this and she blamed no one else but Jacob and the pack for what had become of her brother. But some part of her felt like whatever Seth has been experiencing had a connection to what Jacob and the pack had done and she was determined to find out the cause no matter what in order to save her brother.

"Hey Seth, hope I didn't disturb you." Leah apologized as she came further into the room.

"Oh I was just reading one of these books Collin gave me….trying to find answers. How are you guys doing?" Seth asked with a hopeful smile.

"We're doing okay. We think we might have found something. We're going to head out and try to investigate and see what it is." Leah informed him.

Seth perked up in curiosity at this. He wondered what the three of them could have found that would warrant enough interest for them to want to investigate it. He hoped maybe they were finding some answers but inside he knew that solving this mystery was not going to be that easy.

"Oh….really?" Seth asked.

"Yeah. But don't worry. We shouldn't be more than a couple of hours. We'll be back as soon as we find what we're after. I left soup on the stove for you. We have our phones with us so call us if you need anything, okay?" Leah asked in a motherly tone. Seth just nodded his head and smiled at her.

"I will. You guys be careful okay." Seth warned.

"Don't worry. We will. See you later and stay in bed. And also, don't open the door for anyone, got it?" Leah asked sternly. Seth affirmed that he understood before Leah made her way out of his room. Seth heard his sister join Embry and Collin downstairs before the trio made their exit.

Looking out of his window he watched Collin, Embry and Leah leave through the front door. As he looked down, he saw them look up towards his window at him. Collin was waving maniacally at him like a little kid and Seth giggled to himself as he waved back. Embry smiled kindly at him and waved coolly while Leah looked up and whispered _I love you_ to him. The three then bursts into their wolf forms and took off down the road and into the endless acres of woods that surrounded the La Push lands. Seth hoped that they would be okay but more importantly he hoped they could find something to help solve the mystery of why his dreams of the demon and Jacob were becoming worse and worse. Otherwise, he feared he may not survive the next time he laid down to sleep.

* * *

As twilight was descending on the reservation, casting a purplish hue across the lands; the house of Sam and Emily was all a bustle with the sounds of music playing, good food being enjoyed, games being watched and people having a good time. The dinner party wasn't stretching to the risky extremes that the wolf pack threw during their bonfire parties but that didn't stop the flows of alcohol from being poured and passed around in abundance. For today marked the matrimonial rehearsals for the long delayed wedding of Sam Uley and Emily Young. It had been three years since the Cullen vampire coven and the Quileute Wolf pack were forced to join forces in a war against the newborn army and the renegade vampire Victoria. The party had begun some time after noon following the rehearsal and all were invited, pack members, elders, some of the pack's imprints and girlfriends as well as some of the normal tribe members of La Push who also knew of the secret existence of the magical shape shifters. But as the day wore on, those present began to retreat home as there was to be a pack only meeting before the day's end.

Jacob pulled up to Sam and Emily's house, his trucks tires ,making a loud grinding sound as they drove over the gravel and dirt of the drive way. Earlier, he had tried meeting up with Bella to see if they could try to reconcile. It had been a couple of days since he had last enjoyed the pleasures of sex which meant his mind had time to wander and think of Seth constantly, which meant he needed a distraction. He hated the fact that sex was all he and Bella really had going for their friendship but considering how they left things the last time, he was surprised when Bella actually agreed to meet. Part of him was angry at Bella for using him and leading him on and he had no idea why he was taking this step to make amends with her but a part of him was also angry with himself for allowing her to use him. And if Jacob were honest, he knew he had used her too. He wanted her in his life so badly so he could have someone…anything to divert his feelings for Seth. Bella over the years had become his scapegoat, his way out from what he feared was his sinful and shameful desires and thoughts for Seth. But no matter how hard Jacob tried to make things work with Bella, it seemed like she only pulled further and further away from him and Jacob knew he couldn't blame her. They had to be honest with each other and somehow come to terms with that. He knew their last argument probably meant the end of their friendship but after all they had been through together, Jacob wondered if it was still possible to somehow at least remain friends. But Bella had ended up standing him up, saying Edward didn't want her to go meet up with him. Jacob cursed her out ruthlessly on the phone before hanging up on her. Having no other plans, Jacob figured he might as well drive on over to the post rehearsal party to see if he could get something to eat and drink before heading home to wallow in his own self pity.

As he stepped out of his car and made his way up to the porch he could already hear the loud and rambunctious pack. Sometimes he loved the pack and other times he felt resentment towards them and the entire tribe. Not for how he felt, but how he felt caged and couldn't give into his feelings. All his life he had been taught that what he was feeling was wrong and with the added pressure of being the pack alpha, it only added to the burden of being this perfect leader for them to idolize and look up to, meaning there was absolutely no room for error on his part. He cursed to himself, thinking about the hell that would ensue if any of the pack, the elders or the tribe for that matter ever learned of his true feelings for Seth. Opening the door without even knocking, Jacob stepped into the lively gathering that consisted of the pack and the elders.

"Jake, where you been? We were starting to think you wouldn't show up." Sam chided with a smile, welcoming Jacob into his house. Jacob gave Sam a firm handshake as he was ushered inside, everyone turning to greet him and welcome him to join them.

"Yeah, I'm sure you dicks were all broken up about it." Jacob chuckled in response.

"I wasn't. If you're not here that just means more food for the rest of us." Quil spat playfully as he took a swig of his beer. Those present started to laugh at Quil's joke and even Jacob had to admit he couldn't keep his amusement to himself.

"Get bent you prick." Jacob laughed as he shoved Quil playfully. He made his way through the living room, as he passed by his father Billy and the other elders who were all seated together by the window. Billy, along with the elders Sue Clearwater, Old Quil Ateara Sr.; Quil's grandfather, along with Jonah Uley, Sam's great uncle and Lawrence Reyna who was grandfather to Logan, who sat beside Claire. They all greeted him as they talked amongst themselves while drawing things on a map which Jacob assumed was of the La Push lands and surrounding territories. Looking around him, Jacob saw the pack as well as some of the imprints and their girlfriends were all very lively today, everyone filled with excitement at the prospect of Sam and Emily's upcoming wedding. Sam and Emily were seated together at one the loveseats talking with Kyle, although Jacob had to smirk to himself as it was more Sam and Kyle talking loudly about cars with Emily in the middle just smiling not having a clue what they were on about. On the other couch beside where the elders sat were some the younger wolves, Wyatt and Nathan who for the most part remained to themselves as they were both playing on some handheld video game system and trying to whisper amongst themselves. Sitting beside them was Elijah, the eldest of everyone in the pack. Jacob sometimes wondered why he would even come to the pack parties if all he would do was scowl and give anyone the evil eye who dared to address him. It was a known fact that he was a couple of years older than Sam, making him the eldest however he was considered a newer wolf since he had only first phased sometime after Collin and Brady but before the younger ones. One thing Jacob did find curious about Elijah was that he was extremely protective and disciplinary to the younger pups, almost even keeping them out of the pack fights that could erupt between them at times. In the middle of the room sat the wild ones of the bunch who were enthralled with one of the ball games playing on the television. Quil, Jared, Paul and Logan were all shouting excitedly at the television screen. From what Jacob could make out, Jared, Paul and Quil currently had a bet going against Logan for his team's victory but everyone knew Logan was a self proclaimed professional gambler of sorts and always won his bets so Jacob knew who out of the three was going home with a heavier pocket tonight. Michael, one of the other wolves sat near Quil, but he was in the midst of conversation with Rachel and Kim.

As Jacob tried to find himself a place to sit, the door to the kitchen swung open as one the newer wolves, Trent, walked through with a beer in his hand.

"Oh shit, Jake I didn't know you were here." Trent said happily as he greeted Jacob. The older wolf gave Trent a knowing smile as he always gave this one a hard time for his drinking habits even though he was barely of age. Trent was the same age as Wyatt and Nathan. Together they were known as the pups of the pack as they were the last three to phase but Trent always tried to make an effort to hang out with what he considered the big dogs. Everyone knew Trent idolized Jacob and the rest of the veteran wolves and wanted to be just like them, even cursing and drinking like them. It was quite strange for Jacob at times because he would look at Trent sometimes and almost see a little bit of himself and Paul in the young boy and Jacob wasn't sure if this was good or bad.

"Hey pup, should you be drinking that?" Jacob teased. Trent merely rolled his eyes.

"Fuck yeah, I'm not a kid anymore." Trent said with a smirk as he walked by Jacob and joined Jared, Quil, Paul, Logan and Michael in front of the television.

"Okay boys, let's turn the game down for a little bit now, alright." Jonah Uley, Sam's uncle voiced over the loud chatter and laughter in the room. "Hey Jake, you missed dinner, why don't you go into the kitchen and fix yourself a plate."

Jacob desired to eat but a part of him didn't care for food at this point in time. He just wanted to hear what he knew they wanted to announce and discuss so he could make his way back home as soon as possible. He plopped himself down in an empty chair by one the coolers at the back of the room. He grabbed himself a cold beer and popped the can open as he kept to himself.

"Jake, please do go eat something. There's plenty of food in there and those leftovers will be here for days." Emily said to Jacob from where she sat beside Sam and Kyle

"We'll take it!" The five wolves at the center couch in front of the television all seemed to say in unison.

Looking up from his drink, Jacob saw Paul get up from his place beside some of the pack and approach him. Jacob looked Paul up and down and saw something in the older wolf's face that he had noticed earlier today. Paul looked tired and beat down. But it couldn't have been because of work or patrols. Patrol shifts were evenly distributed and scheduled between all of them with the new ranking systems and Jacob knew Paul wasn't working over time since they all worked at the same mechanic garage, a business they had all pitched in and started a few years back. Jacob knew it couldn't be for any of these reasons but it made him wonder. He never saw Paul like this. The normally hot headed man seemed a little mellower these days compared to his normal behavior and he could see the bags of stress under his eyes as well as the gruff of his face starting to grow in from days of not shaving.

"It's about time to you showed up Black. Where the hell did you run off to anyway?" Paul questioned as he took a seat beside Jacob. The two greeted each other by hitting their beer cans together before keeping a quiet discussion amongst themselves.

" Trying to get Bella to meet up with me so we can talk some shit out." Jacob answered. Paul chuckled lowly as he stretched himself out. He took a swig of his drink as he bumped shoulders with Jacob.

"Come on man, didn't I teach anything. You can't turn hoes into housewives. Believe me. Been there done that." Paul laughed.

"You being the man whore you are would know. You're certainly no husband material." Jacob said in response with a smile.

"Yeah fuck you too buddy." Paul said laughing. Jacob saw clearly though that Paul was hiding something. Something was on his mind, weighing him down and Jacob knew Paul hated to show weakness. Jacob knew it had to be something serious because the only people Paul went to for help was Sam and himself. But Jacob had to assure himself with the thought that whatever Paul was hiding he would eventually come to them in his own time.

"Three guesses as to who he was with guys." Logan piped up, causing everyone to erupt in laughter. Jacob and Paul looked up, the former grimacing at the realization that their private conversation wasn't all that private anymore but in a room full of super hearing wolves what could one except?

"Dude, you're still fucking with that girl." Michael asked with a laugh as the pack carried on vulgarly as if their very own elders were not even present in the room.

"Gentleman! Language please." Lawrence announced monotonously as he hardly looked up from the maps he had scattered about on one of the living room tables, scratching out and marking trails on a map of the La Push lands.

"Sorry." All of the pack seemed to utter apologetically at being in the midst of their elders.

"Come on Jake, we're not trying to give you shit or anything but it's just you're making the rest of us look bad here. Quileute men don't chase behind a woman. We get what we want and that's that." Quil said to Jacob in his best "I know better than you" tone. Jacob was more than amused as Quil of all people attempted to give him advice. He looked over at Claire who was giving Quil a not so pleasant glare.

"Excuse you? You know, it would do you guys some good to learn how to treat a woman properly and chase after her." Rachel said in response to Quil's comment. Much of the pack groaned in annoyance at her interjection, giving way to the women in the room having their say on the matter.

"Yes indeed. Believe me, women like when men show some initiative." Emily agreed as she looked knowingly at Sam who in turn wrapped his arms around her, kissing her gently on the cheek.

"Yeah, I've got your initiative right here." Logan shouted as he grabbed for his genitals mockingly in what the females were saying , garnering all of the men's laughter and agreement.

"Ewww, guys, don't be so gross in front of the elders for God's sake." Claire whined from her place on the couch beside Sue Clearwater. The older woman merely laid a comforting hand on the teenager's shoulder to reassure her that she and the elders were not bothered by the pack's charades.

"Oh honey, pay them no mind. After all, boys will be boys." Sue laughed gently at the antics of the pack as Jonah and Lawrence continued to show her various trails on the map as they kept on muttering amongst themselves while the pack carried on with their conversations.

"Well they're not boys anymore. These boys are men now. They've proven themselves over the years. Each and every one of them." Jonah said in defense of the pack, earning uproar of grateful wolf yelps and pats on the back.

"Well not all of us. The pups still have to pay their dues." Jared chimed in as he cocked his head in the direction of the youngest pups, Wyatt and Nathan who were sitting on the couch. Some heads turned towards the two pups sitting on the couch who looked up from their hand held game systems. Wyatt, the youngest and most unsure of the pack merely kept his eyes downcast but Nathan just scoffed to the others.

"Whatever, we do our share. Now leave us out of this." Nathan said in response. Some of the pack merely ooohed at Jared as if the younger wolf had just told him off, waiting for Jared's response. Feeling flustered and a bit put off that he was spoken to so callously by one of the juniors, Jared stood up ready to stir up trouble.

"What the fuck did you say? You're part of the pack aren't' you? You're in what we say you're in." Jared said hotly. Jacob and Paul who were at this point watching the exchange stood up to grab Jared and settle him back down on the couch.

"Look Jared, calm the fuck down okay." Paul said, trying to get Jared to sit down by pulling the younger man back but Jared wasn't having that as he attempted to make his way over toward Wyatt and Nathan who looked nervous. To everyone's surprise, though Elijah stood up and defended the younger pups.

"Jared will you just back off you asinine fuck. You're always tearing into the pups for one reason or the other. Fight amongst yourselves, but leave them alone." Elijah shouted back as he stood in front of Nathan and Wyatt.

Perhaps it was those involved or perhaps it was the situation but a thick cloud of tension began to settle into the room and everyone felt it as low rumbling of growls could be heard. The human girls present, Emily, Rachel, Kim and Claire recoiled in fear and the Elders became alert at the exchange as they stood frozen in place at the tension swelling in-between the pack members who were quick to jump in.

"What the fuck did you say to him?!" Quil snapped, jumping to Jared's defense.

"Elijah who the hell do you think you are?! You might be older than the rest of the pack but you're still a newbie! You respect us!" Paul shouted, who originally intended to calm Jared but was more agitated at the moment with the older wolf's intentions of disrespecting his fellow pack brother.

"Oh yeah, and what if I don't?!" Elijah shouted back as he approached Jared who was being held back by Quil and Paul. Jacob who had been standing by was not having this on his watch as his irritation began rising and he jumped into separate the two before any blows could be exchanged. He nodded at Logan, who with Kyle came behind Jacob to restrain Elijah before he could get at Quil, Jared and Paul.

"That's enough guys. Everyone sit down now!" Jacob commanded.

"My God, you guys are behaving like little boys. Get your heads out of your asses for one second!" Billy berated.

"Separate those two now!" Sam announced, stepping up to back Jacob's command as his ever faithful beta. The pack calmed down significantly but with hesitation as Jacob, Kyle and Logan maneuvered Elijah back to one side of the room while Paul and Jared tried to calm Quil.

"I'm terribly sorry about all of this." Sam apologized to the elders, feeling almost embarrassed over the pack's behavior. Everyone was well knowledgeable in the fact that the pack could get quite volatile when all together for long periods of time but it was a fact that remained unspoken. Sam and Jacob had discussed many times before their desire to keep that wild and unfettered side away from the prying eyes and ears of the elders who more often than not try to stick their noses in every incident and fix things.

"Jared, son I'm surprised at you. That's no way to talk to your pack brothers." Old Quil, the eldest of the elders present chastised. Jared who had sat in-between Paul and Quil began to blush in shame as he hung his head low. He couldn't believe he had just shown his attitude In front of the elders in such a way and he muttered and apology before glaring daggers at Elijah on the other side of the room.

"I'm sorry sir, but he…." Jared tried to complain.

"Jared just shut the fuck up." Paul muttered darkly to his friend, forcing a vice grip on his shoulder and urging him to hold his tongue before he got himself into further trouble.

"Look, you guys calm down. Can we get along for a few minutes without the repetitive banter for once?" Sam addressed to everyone present. As everyone began to settle back down, Lawrence Reyna began to get to business and bring up the topic of the latest patrols.

"So guys, I wanted us to have a chance to discuss the latest patrol systems we made with Jacob and Sam. How are patrols with the new ranks doing so far?" Lawrence asked.

"Yes, tell us. We're excited to know if there is any progression in the hunts so far. Jacob and Sam have told us the pack's response time has been more efficient." Sue chimed in, awaiting the pack's response. Everyone in the pack merely looked from one to the other in response, no one jumping up to saying anything. In actuality things had been going along pretty well considering that the pack as a whole was still struggling with getting on long enough to properly work together not to mention that some were having difficulty remembering who exactly was in their rank lineup. Jacob and Sam with help from the elders had originally came up with the new ranking system to help organize patrolling duties as well as strengthen team work. But it hadn't worked out as well as they had liked because some of them were so used to patrolling only with those they were closest to or those they preferred hunting with which could then lead to internal pack fights and scuffles which inadvertently took away from the main purpose of a pack. Initially, the new ranking stem would put the more experienced veteran wolves in charge of their own mini packs to help teach them to work with those less experienced and build team work amongst all of them. Originally Jacob's rank placed him with Seth and Leah, Embry and Quil shared a rank that placed them with Nathan and Trent, Sam's rank placed him with Brady and Logan, Paul's rank placed him with Elijah and Michael and lastly Jared's rank placed him with Kyle, Wyatt and Collin. But with Seth's coming out and eventual expulsion from the pack not to mention Embry, Collin and Leah's departure as well, the ranks had to be readjusted in a way no one liked and although no one wanted to admit it, as a pack, they all felt the loss….like a big gaping void had been opened within their connection as a pack and family.

"Things have been alright I guess. We've been able to respond to threats a lot more quickly I guess you could say." Jacob answered, everyone mumbled there agreements, too subdued from the previous near fight that almost enveloped right there in the living room.

"Well….except for the part with people forgetting whose rank they belong to." Quil added venomously, staring intently at Trent. Trent squirmed nervously where he sat when all eyes fell on him.

"Hey, I forgot one time. I didn't know that I was on duty that night. My bad." Trent apologized.

"Nobody is trying to get on your case man but seriously, you're actions were irresponsible." Michael chastised the young pup.

"Yeah, what if we didn't have back up that day? Luckily Paul and his rank were just finishing up their patrols and stayed to cover your shift because I think we found…what…two vamps that night?" Quil asked for confirmation to prove his point.

"It was three we found running through our lands. But it was no big deal." Paul looked up from his drink, not wanting to get involved in another argument and just shrugged. This caused Jacob to study him curiously as if proving his question from before. What was with Paul that he was being like this? Besides his outburst alongside Jared and Quil, Paul was being very restrained tonight. He was acting completely not like himself and Jacob knew something was up. As if to lighten the tension that could creep in, Jared decided to comment on his successes instead.

"Well my rank is doing just perfectly. We've already made seven kills in the past couple of days with rouge cold ones who have been drifting through." Jared bragged with a smirk. Rachel clapped dramatically and congratulated him, making Emily, Claire and Kim laugh along with some of the other wolves.

"What I'd like to know is why so many rouge vampires are passing through these parts. Is this occurring everywhere?" Logan asked the elders. The elders sat in thought as they exchanged concerned looks.

"Sir, we're not really sure why this is happening. We've been trying to hunt down and detain a couple of them for questioning, but most of them are such tight lipped and manipulative beings…we're not sure if their words can even be trusted. We've managed to learn…" Sam tried to explain to Old Quil, the leader of the elders but Jacob interrupted him with an annoyed tone as he took over.

"Sam don't fucking sugar coat anything. We didn't learn a damn thing. We can't get any information out of them so we just end up killing them like always. Fucking bastards. But I think whatever might be responsible is actually beyond them. They actually seemed to be running away from something. Whenever we patrol or hunt the lands, it's like they're on the run even before we catch up to them." Jacob explained. Old Quil whispered something in Elder Lawrence's ear who in turn whispered something to Sue, Billy and Jonah.

"Running from something? What could that mean Jonah?" Kyle asked elder Jonah, who the young wolves favored along with Billy because of their down to earth and rough personality that made them seem more like part of the pack versus the more reserved other three elders, Old Quil, Sue and Lawrence.

"Well son, it could mean any number of things. Perhaps there is a bigger threat out there than cold ones although I shudder to think of it. If so, we're going to need as much training as we possibly can get. This rank system is a perfect opportunity for you all to learn to help bring out each other's strengths as well as help find each other's weaknesses. Use this to your advantage. Work hard together; rely on each other…only then will the pack grow even stronger." Jonah Uley advised wisely. The pack and everyone present nodded their heads , deep in thought over the situation.

"Don't worry sir, we're confident we'll succeed and finally figure out just what is going on out there. Right Jake?" Sam said to a subdued Jacob who had zoned out.

"Um..yeah sure, whatever." Jacob said absent mindedly. He looked to the elders and the pack who all gave him a concerned look.

"Son, are you alright?" Billy asked Jacob, wondering why Jacob was acting as though he didn't want to be here.

"Yeah dad I'm fine." Jacob answered but the truth of the matter was that he as the alpha was starting to feel that void aching at the loss of four of his fellow pack mates, not to mention one of them being someone he loved even though he wasn't supposed to. Jacob became lost in thought as he contemplated what the meaning and purpose of the pack was if the pack was slowly falling apart anyway.

"Look boys, I know it must be very hard on all of you, what with the latest situation and the loss of four very valuable wolves from the pack…" Lawrence tried to explain but the pack interrupted him.

"What loss? Good riddance. Bunch of freaks and fags, the whole lot of them." Quil shouted, causing some who were present to agree with him. Jacob gave Quil a dirty look and half expected Paul to jump in at any moment but he was thoroughly surprised when Paul looked uncomfortable and kept his head down, a look of guilt written all over his face.

"That's not a very nice thing to say." Kim suggested as she looked at the others disapprovingly. Out of everyone present, her and Claire were the only ones who had been vocal about their disapproval of the pack's actions in regard to Seth and Embry.

"Oh for the love of God Kim come off it. He's right. We wouldn't have known if not for Jacob, so it's better it all came out sooner than later anyway. I'm sure the boys don't need another she-wolf in the pack." Rachel added, laughing at her won joke along with Emily. Some of the boys high fived Rachel for her zinger which was a jab at not only Seth but Leah as well. Everyone knew all too well the two never got along.

"Those four, this concerns us greatly." Old Quil admitted seriously.

"I can't believe how selfish they're being. How can they just abandon us like this…all because Seth is a fag? Did he fucking convert Embry and Collin too?" Jared asked in disbelief and disgust.

"Please guys, language!" Sam reminded but everyone was just ignoring him.

"Sam, calm yourself. It's quite alright. We were young once too, don't forget that." Jonah assured his nephew as the pack continued with their discussion. They all were throwing things out back and forward, questioning how Seth could do what he did and why they had done the right thing in kicking him out. As Jacob remained quiet through the midst of it all, he looked to Paul who seemed to keep his mouth shut in all of this for once. To Jacob it began to seem like everyone was trying to defend their actions and prejudice against Seth. Well, all except those not involved such as Elijah, Trent, Nathan and Wyatt who as usual just remained silent and listened to the pack carry on.

"Well, I guess we gave him the message clear enough. We haven't heard anything from the faggot since we kicked his ass out of the pack have we?" Kyle asked.

"Can we not use that word please?" Sam asked with command as if to remind everyone that they were talking about the child of an elder present amongst them.

"I'm sorry Sue, but you know how much trouble your son has been causing with the pack lately." Logan said apologetically.

"I know you guys mean well, don't worry. I just don't understand how Seth could be so damn selfish to you guys, to us…his tribe and family." Sue Clearwater surmised, catching Jacob's attention. He couldn't help but stare at her in disbelief. This was her own son she was talking about. Jacob knew the elders had backed his initial reaction to Seth's coming out to him as well as the young wolf's exile…but to actually have them discussing Seth amongst them like he was some piece of garbage made Jacob pause. He wasn't sure when and how his own personal issues and prejudice had affected and heighted everyone else's bigotry. Jacob felt uneasy as he thought about how it felt right to condemn and hate Seth in his mind, but to see everyone so easily following his lead without question when deep down he felt he was wrong, it left a horrible taste in his mouth and increased the guilt that had been starting to slowly build.

"Now Sue, you did your best with those kids after Harry died. Don't go blaming yourself. Seth made his decisions willingly, and he made his loyalties very clear as well." Billy assured Sue as she patted her on the shoulder.

"Look here's a question, do you ever think that maybe you guys are too harsh on Seth? I mean, there are other gay people in the world aren't there?" Claire said knowingly, agreeing with Kim on her stance. This caused a lot of the pack however to groan in annoyance and frustration. Sam was trying to get everyone to calm down and change the subject and all the while Jacob couldn't help but notice just how riled up everyone was getting as if they just enjoyed tearing into Seth more and more and he couldn't help asking himself that question over and over again. "_Did I cause everyone to get to this point? Did I turn them on Seth?"_

"Yes Claire dear there are gays in the world." Old Quil piped up, causing everyone to turn to him as he went on. "But that is why the world is such a corrupt and sinful place and they must live without protection from beings such as the cold ones. Not like us. Our people have been blessed to have the magic and power of the spirit shifters because for centuries our people have always lived our lives with humility and righteousness." Old Quil explained. The other elders nodded their heads in agreement as some of the wolves agreed as well. Jacob thought it all sounded ridiculous, but it's what they had been taught for so many years. It was a part of their culture. They were always taught they were gifted because they were different, because they were better. And because of that attitude, the children grew up carrying themselves with a certain type of pride that couldn't be deterred. But slowly Jacob started to think that maybe this whole situation between him and Seth had maybe only fueled the tribe's narrow minded teachings even more than they already were.

"Jake, how are you feeling? I know this has probably been quite stressful for you these past weeks." Elder Lawrence asked Jacob, breaking him out of his internal reverie. Jacob didn't really know how he was supposed to respond to that question. His life had become stressful and painful because he couldn't have Seth and he couldn't be what he truly was…he had to stifle what he felt inside because of the pack and tribe's expectations about what he was supposed to be. How was he supposed to say that? Jacob shrugged as a sense of resentment started to build within him the more he dwelt on all of this.

"I'm fine I guess…I mean…things have been different since…you know…." Jacob answered, not wanting to elaborate on his exiling Seth from the pack.

"No one blames you son. You did the right thing." His father, Billy said as he wheeled closer to his son. "You did what you had to do. Seth will be fine. He just needs to understand the severity of his actions and that we can't allow him to corrupt the entire pack. I've always heard growing up as a boy myself that sin like that can spread." Billy exclaimed but Jacob wasn't buying it. He looked at his father strangely as the pack questioned exactly what it was the elders meant.

"Spread? You mean like to the rest of us?" Paul asked worriedly. The eyes of the pack shifted to him as it was the few times he had spoken up. Everyone merely thought Paul was just curious but deep down something was nagging at his heart and he had become steadily uncomfortable with the direction their discussion was going. Jacob however picked up on the nerves that seemed to emanate from Paul's tone.

"Yes it can. It's a direct metaphor of the cold ones." Elder Lawrence cut in. "All of you look at how the vampires spread. They infect humans with their sin….the venom. That sinful virus of theirs spreads like sickness. We can't have something like that within the pack…within the tribe." Lawrence explained as some of the pack nodded in understanding, others just kept quiet. The whole atmosphere of the room was changing and Jacob wanted nothing more at the moment then to pick up and leave.

"Well, I'm just grateful he had the decency not to show up here. Same goes for his sister as well." Logan interjected.

"But what I can't understand is how on earth did he drag Embry and Collin down that path too…I mean….who would have thought that Embry would play for the same team?" Michael asked aloud, voicing everyone's thoughts.

"I know right?! And on top of everything he said he imprinted? How the fuck can he even say that?! Is that even possible?!" Quil asked aloud.

"WHAT?!" the Elders all seemed to shout in unison. Everyone in the room looked around but all eyes just fell upon Jacob and Sam. Sam exchanged a look with Jacob and shrugged, feeling somewhat humiliated at having to be put on the spot like that for not having told the elders sooner about that little tidbit. In all honesty, Sam wasn't sure what to think of it himself. He wanted to believe Embry was lying but the scary thing was that Sam knew that look….the look one has when they finally imprint and Embry had that in his eyes. At times, Sam even envied it as it had plagued his nightmares because he never recalled seeing that reflection in his own eyes in regard to his imprint on Emily.

"Are you sure he said that? You guys never told us that he said that?!" Sue Clearwater asked, taken aback. The elders looked at the pack with shock and worry as they looked from one to another. Only Old Quil was shaking his head disbelievingly without even a second thought.

"Is…is that even possible? It has to be a lie." Billy began wearily.

"That's impossible! Two wolves cannot imprint on each other. That is exactly why Sam and Leah never were meant to be together and furthermore, wolves do not imprint on those of the same gender. It's just….an abomination is what it is." Old Quil piped in.

"Well an abomination is what Seth and that bastard Embry are. Serves them all right. I'm glad they're out." Jared cursed as he thought long and hard about what the elders were telling them. Jacob looked at Jared with annoyance and anger and that subtle feeling of resentment started to creep its way back up. How could they say that? Embry was once their closest friends. In all honesty, Jacob was always closer to Quil and Embry than he was to Paul, Jared and Sam and it hurt him that Embry had left and sided with Seth. But Jacob had to admit to himself that he wasn't sure if that was the reason or the fear and jealousy that Embry was somewhere comforting Seth.

"You know, I still can't believe Seth is gay…I mean…wouldn't we have known by now seeing as our minds are connected when we're wolves. We've been together all this time and I've never once heard anything from his mind that was you know…out of the ordinary." Sam asked aloud.

"Maybe he was just blocking his thoughts from you guys, you know…to spare you." Emily tried to offer comfortingly.

"Thank God too. He probably was fantasizing about us." Jared relished causing some of the pack to laugh along at his joke..

"Not all of us, just one." Quil added, everyone mumbling in agreement as they looked at Jacob knowingly. The elders were giving them their best look of sympathy and concern and it was slowly angering Jacob little by little.

"But you know…when you guys told me what happened, it wasn't really a shock to me. Is it just me or has Seth always seemed like… that type, you know? " Rachel explained with uncertainty. A lot of the guys enthusiastically agreed with her, sans the quiet three in the corner, Elijah, Wyatt and Nathan.

"Rachel! I can't believe you would say something like that!" Kim said, looking at her friend. Rachael just rolled her eyes at the younger girl.

"What, I'm just being honest." Rachel defended.

"Kim, Rachel is right. We all…..I mean….I guess in some way we all should have known. I mean…look at him." Paul spoke up, garnering everyone's attention and agreement. Paul was debating with himself. He didn't want to even be amongst the conversation, given how he felt about the sick boy he was trying to care for back home but he didn't want to feel the way he did. And all the while he kept wondering who he should believe, The teachings of his people or his own feelings?

"Well have you guys ever thought…maybe it's a cry for help?" Emily asked with concern.

"What do you mean Em?" Paul asked.

"I mean, I was watching TV the other day and they were talking about child behaviors, how kids act out in response to feeling neglected or depressed. For whatever the reason, it is their way of showing they need help." Emily explained.

"Oh God, so now he's a psycho case. That just makes me think that kid is more fucked up in the head than we originally thought." Jared laughed.

"Look…can we please talk about something else for god's sake!?" Jacob spat out. Everyone turned to look at him and he started to feel uncomfortable. He shrugged nonchalantly but he was getting really twisted feelings listening to his whole pack and the elders talk about Seth this way. He didn't know why it didn't bother him much before. If anything he probably encouraged it. He knew he had said his fair share of cruel things about Seth with the pack previously but the more and more time that went by and every time he saw Seth, a piece inside of him was breaking; a piece that reminded him that he was losing Seth for good. Jacob wanted to get to the point where he could go to Seth and settle things once and for all…but he was also too angry at Seth for making him feel this way….and he was angry at the pack and the tribe for making him feel like he had to live up their expectations…but mostly, he was angry at himself for being so confused and unsure of what to do and what his life had become. Every time he hurt Seth, he began to feel like the murderous monster he had seen before in his dreams.

"Sorry…I…." Jacob tried to apologize.

"Jake, are you alright?" Billy asked.

"Yeah man, we didn't mean to upset you. You know we're on your side." Quil added. Jacob looked at Quil questioningly.

"My side….you're on my side?" Jacob asked sarcastically, looking at his pack.

"Yes son. You are the alpha. Even amongst us elders, you are the leader. Not just of the pack…but leader of our people. The people of this town adore you Jake. Everyone looks up to you." Billy encouraged his son but this only annoyed Jacob further. How could they sit here and demonize Seth but yet they praised him like some God…all because he said so? Did he have that much power over them?

"Fine then. Just fucking do whatever I say huh? Think whatever I fucking think? Is that how it is? I say one thing and you guys just fucking go with it? Did it ever occur to anyone that before I took over for Sam, I didn't know what the hell I was doing?! Sometimes I still don't…and it's not easy! I didn't ask to be anyone's leader." Jacob reasoned. Everyone present nodded their head in understanding and concern, trying to assure Jacob but it was only aggravating Jacob more at how subservient they were being to him all because he was the alpha.

"Jake…we understand it's hard for you. We're not attacking you, we're backing you." Logan said.

"Yeah man, you've never led us astray. We trust you and believe in you." Michael added.

"Jacob, don't you see how much everyone here believes in you? I know it must be hard to have to bear the weight of the entire tribe on your shoulders like this but we're here for you. You're not alone in this. We're behind you one hundred percent. That's what a tribe does." Jonah Uley explained, trying to show Jacob just how much support he had behind him but to Jacob it just felt hypocritical.

"Oh really?! So even when I make wrong decisions you guys still follow me? Even when we're hurting other people?" Jacob questioned, a little too smartly. Some of the pack sort of looked between each other questioningly at Jacob's change of tone.

"Jake, what are you talking about? We always side with you no matter what. We always have. And we never hurt anyone. Seth is not the victim here. He was a problem. You had a problem within him and we dealt with it. Same way we deal with all of our problems." Kyle answered.

"He's not a god damn leech that we…just deal with!" Jacob shouted.

"Come on Jacob what the hell are you even saying! What Seth did was wrong. You even said yourself you didn't want him in the pack anymore, remember?" Paul questioned reasonably, staying uncharacteristically calm through the entire debate. Jacob whipped his head towards Paul, glaring at the older wolf accusingly. It was as if no matter what he questioned about himself and what he did, the others had something to say to defend it and it was only angering Jacob more.

"Paul you've got some fucking nerve!" Jacob shouted at him. Everyone in the room was shocked and held their breath for what was to come next but to everyone's surprise Paul just sighed and shook his head at Jacob with confusion.

"Jacob, what the hell is your problem? Nobody here is attacking you or the decisions you made." Paul reasoned.

"Yeah man, so just calm down and have another drink or something. Everyone's here supporting you and all you can do is start pissing off?" Quil added. "Look Jake, we all know it's been tough for you these last couple of weeks and we get you've got issues with Seth but we've been here with you every step of the way." Quil stated, the pack nodding their heads in agreement.

"He's right Jacob. We've all been here for you. All of this is just confirmation of your decision to exile him. This is all a clear example of why Seth had to be exiled and why it's just as well that Embry and Collin left as well." Old Quil stated simply.

"Sir….what are you saying?" Sam asked, not liking the tone the elders were using.

"What he means is that being homosexuals is their sin…see how it's broken us apart?" Lawrence explained further to the members of the pack like a teacher would lecture his students. "Don't you all see how it has torn the pack and the tribe apart? That kind of behavior spreads from one to the next, creating dissention amongst people and ripping away our culture...our people apart." Lawrence clarified. Some of the wolf pack looked confused, most just nodded their heads along in agreement but Jacob couldn't stand to hear anymore of this. He was tired of questioning himself only to be met with lap dogs who just ate up whatever he told them or whatever others told them. It was as if no one had the courage to think for themselves, only take what they were told was right or wrong.

"You know what, you don't even know what the fuck you're talking about do you old man?! We've never all gotten along. Seth didn't do that to us, we did this to ourselves. And I'm the one that started this. If I had never said anything to you guys, none of this bullshit would have ever happened." Jacob spat as he stood abruptly. A tension thick as fog seemed to settle on the room as everyone went silent. Sue visibly gasped and the girls in the room, Emily, Rachel, Kim and Claire all looked a bit frightened by his outburst. Sam gave Emily a knowing look and she rounded up the girls as they hurriedly made their way out of the room quickly and into the kitchen. The pack and the elders stood on pins and needles as no one had ever openly disrespected an elder before.

"You're out of line Jacob! Sit the fuck down right now!" Billy shouted at his son but Jacob just ignored his father as he continued to rant.

"Or what?! I'm the fucking alpha! What I say goes, remember?! You guys have all shown that clearly, anytime I make a decision and you just blindly follow me without even questioning whether or not it's the right thing or the wrong thing!" Jacob raved. He was at his boiling point with the elders, with the pack, with everyone. He knew he was wrong for what he was doing to Seth. He knew he was wrong for loving him but it disgusted him to see his own actions and prejudice reflected in those around him, a bunch of followers who blindly followed his hatred without question. If anything, Jacob felt sick to his stomach at the thought that they loved having someone to tear down, like it made them feel better about themselves. Inside, Jacob was battling with himself on this because he knew he was wrong for feeling for Seth the way that he did and he hated Seth as well for making him feel that way but he knew even more that he wasn't always right in how he dealt with Seth and how it killed him every time he saw Seth looking more and more beat down and broken than the previous time. It was starting to shake Jacob to his core and something inside him was opening up to a new thought he had never considered before.

"Jake, why the fuck are you of all people even defending that little fag! You hated him more than any of us did!?" Jared asked with confusion, but something in his words set Jacob off.

"Stop fucking calling him that! And I'm not defending him…I hate what he did to me….but that doesn't mean I always hated him. We used to be friends for fucks sake!" Jacob snapped in response.

"Jacob, we know. We understand that. That's why we understand how difficult this all must be for you." Sam assured him.

"You know?! How the fuck do you know Sam?! How the fuck do any of you really know what it's like?!" Jacob asked all of them, looking around at all of his pack mates and the elders.

"Now that's enough young man." Old Quil ordered, finally having enough of this argument. "Jake, you may be the alpha but you will respect us, your elders and you will respect this pack! This may have started out as a personal issue for you but it's now pack business! What's your problems are all our problems." The elder explained seriously.

"Yeah Jake, you know this already. We all share the load here." Quil said, laying a friendly hand on Jacob's shoulder as he tried to get Jacob to settle down but Jacob just brushed him off coldly.

"You know I'm getting really sick of everyone getting into my business and trying to help me solve my own fucking problems. This was all just between me and Seth. It was not supposed to be anybody else's business!" Jacob answered. A lot of the pack members then scoffed at his answer, unbelieving Jacob was ranting about their support of him.

"If that was true than how come you even told us in the first place?!" Jared questioned.

"Yea man, you're the one who came to us. Not the other fucking way around." Paul asked.

"I didn't even mean to tell you guys…I just…." Jacob started, as he faltered with his reasoning. Thinking back on his anger…he was so blinded by it, and he couldn't understand how he had become so enraged. Yes he was upset at Seth and hated the boy for coming out to him but he still loved him. He knew that. But something inside had pushed him to such levels that he wanted others to hate the boy. Maybe then that would force him to hate Seth as well. Jacob was sure that he couldn't make sense of it even if he tried but that was the reasoning he held on to…but now nothing made any sense.

"It just slipped out…" Jacob finished as he stuttered through his words nervously. "I…I thought about it…while I was phased. That night that I left Seth at the beach, after he told me...…I was so angry…I don't know why...I just…and then you guys heard me while our minds were connected. I had no choice but to tell you. It all just spilled out after that" Jacob explained.

"Yeah, you were angry because of him coming out to you like that, which you have every right to be." Kyle surmised but his comment just enraged Jacob even further.

"How the fuck would you even know Kyle!? You weren't even fucking there! You didn't see in his eyes what I saw." Jacob spat out.

"Lay off of him Jake! We're all trying to fucking help you!" Quil shouted back. "So just calm the fuck down!"

"Okay, whoa! Everyone needs to calm down for a second." Sam commanded gently, trying to diffuse the situation before things blew up out of hand but it was no use. Billy looked at his son carefully, moving closer so that he could get to Jacob and reason with him.

"My god son, just sit down and calm down for a second. You're being very disrespectful…to everyone here. We're all just trying to help you Jake." Billy said with concern.

"Dad I don't need anyone's help! Stop trying to help me! I didn't ask for anyone's help! I'm trying to be the best alpha I can, trying to lead a bunch of ass wipes who don't even think for themselves. I say one thing and you guys just side with me no questions asked. I…. I know I'm fucked up in the head so I'm not making any excuses for myself…but you guys could think for yourselves for once! Just once!" Jacob roared as he pointed accusingly at everyone. The room grew quiet as everyone mulled over Jacob's words. But realization and offense began to seep into some of the pack's minds as they took in just what it was Jacob was saying. Out of everyone, Elijah, who remained silent through the ordeal was the first to speak up.

"Hold on Jacob. Are you accusing all of us, because some of us had nothing to do with your own personal conflict." Elijah said pointing at Jacob. "This is exactly why I stay out of you guys' bullshit. Some of us did absolutely nothing. From what I've seen. You have yourself to blame for that." Elijah replied. And it was the first time that the whole pack was backing Elijah, let alone listening to the older man.

"You know what, for once I agree with him Jake. You're going to blame us for what YOU did to Seth!?" Jared questioned.

"Jacob, we all were there. You included. You led us to it. You said yourself you wanted him out." Logan agreed.

"Yeah, and we followed you, just like a pack does." Kyle added.

Paul stepped up again to Jacob, trying to find an answer to why Jacob was behaving the way he was. Paul was trying his best to pull back his normal tirade because he was currently struggling with himself. He didn't feel right spouting out his normal venom when he was praying for the boy he cared for at home to wake up but he was starting to see something in Jacob that he could see in himself…something that made him think maybe for once they could relate to each other.

"Jacob…why are you even saying all of this to us. We merely followed you and supported you. It's not about Seth being a fag or not. " Paul explained. "But you can't blame us for something you started. You're the one that hated him." Paul finished.

"I don't hate him! I never did!" Jacob shouted, his voice quivering and almost breaking. The faces of shock and confusion that he was met with only further enraged the alpha wolf. Did he project that much hatred of Seth to those around him? Was he that hateful that they truly believed he wanted Seth gone forever? These questions ran through his mind as he was met with pack's counter arguments.

"What are you talking about Jake? Of course you did. You're the one that ordered him to leave!" Sam reminded Jacob with sternness.

"What the fuck! You guys were right there with me. You didn't give any more fuck about him either." Jacob snapped, accusing his pack mates.

"You know what Jake; you're a real fucking piece of work." Quil stated rudely.

"I'm a piece of work? You guys, who like a bunch of dumb ass animals can't even take a piss unless someone tells you to, you're going to tell me that I'm the one that's a piece of work?!" Jacob questioned.

"Yes! First off, this whole thing started between you and that queer and you came to us for our help because you couldn't deal with your own bullshit so don't come in here throwing some fucking bitch fit about shit that you stirred up yourself. You have no one to blame but yourself!" Quil fired back and it took Jacob aback until he nearly snapped.

"FUCK ALL OF YOU! I'M OUT OF HERE!" Jacob shouted in anger and frustration as he stormed out of the house. He ignored the continuous yells and shouts for him to come back. Some in anger, some in confusion, but mostly begging for Jacob to calm down and come back so they could talk. But Jacob didn't want to talk. He didn't want to see their faces, the faces of those that were so unquestioning of his authority and opinions no matter who it hurt but yet those same faces that accused him for placing blame when the real blame lied within in his heart. Jacob knew what the answer was but he just didn't want to face it. He had to get out of this place so he hopped in his truck and backed out of the driveway with lighting speed, taking off down the road and through the reservation to think and as he cursed to himself behind the wheel. He couldn't take their unquestioning condemnation of Seth, all because he said so. All these years he resented the tribe and its teachings because it forced him to keep his true self at bay, to keep his feelings in check and pressured him to push Seth away for fear of being immoral and different. But for the pack and the tribe to only emphasize their prejudice because Jacob said so was too much responsibility than he could bear. He was responsible for turning them onto Seth and the thought just didn't sit well with them. But then, Jacob knew there were many things lying within his heart that were far from sitting well with his conscious at the moment.

* * *

Jacob swerved dangerously on the road, his drunken state inhibiting his driving ability and rational as he sped along the streets of the reservation. Weaving in and out of neighborhoods, passing the reservation community center, driving by his old high school….everything seemed to bring a torrent of memories to the forefront of his mind and with each memory brought back the realization that it was all related to Seth. Jacob fumed as he tried to hold onto his senses, fighting away the recent memory of the party that ended horribly for him. Jacob couldn't stand it any longer. He couldn't take sitting there among his pack, the tribe, his friends and family who all claimed to support him while they just repeatedly tore into Seth and defended both his and their actions against the younger wolf. Jacob had to get up and get away and so he ran out to be alone. He had to escape their words but more importantly, he had to escape their accusations. When Jacob went to the party, he never thought that he would have been so confused and disgusted with not only himself but even the people around him, the very people who backed him no matter how much he knew he was at fault. But one thing he couldn't understand was this; at what point did everyone around him start hating Seth as much as he wanted Seth to believe? It was like the illusion Jacob tried to create had now become all too real. At first Jacob merely wanted to push Seth away and punish him as to protect himself from falling even more in love with the boy than he already was. But when those around him began showing their hatred and prejudice as well, guilt like nothing else began to creep its way into Jacob's heart. Had things always been this way or was Jacob merely too blinded by his own agenda to see it? Not wanting to face this truth, Jacob decided to stop by the local liquor store and pick up his favorite whiskey, hell bent on drinking himself nearly to death while fuming in his car. But even though his drunkenness, something still lingered and he knew that he needed to see Seth again.

Since the beginning, Jacob had always been at a crossroads. Ever since he could remember, ever since he met Seth when they were kids, he loved the boy more than he could ever admit, more than he could ever put into words. As the years went by, he grew more aware of his desire and need just to have Seth in his life at all times, even if he couldn't have him in the way that he truly wanted. But Jacob knew that these feelings were wrong and sinful. Jacob cried to himself as he drove madly down the road, hating Seth for making him feel this way…hating Seth for making him lust…for making him desire and need…hating him for…what? Jacob couldn't justify this rage. He tried so many times. He told Seth over and over how much he hated him, how much he never wanted to see him but….none of it was true. Jacob knew in his heart he was the only one to blame….but he couldn't accept this side of himself. He wanted to believe he was a good person, that he was doing the right thing. But if he really was doing the right thing, would it all have come to this? Jacob knew he had his own issues with Seth. But he never realized until now just how much his unresolved internal demons had affected everyone, the pack, the tribe, the town….Now Jacob could clearly see how much others loathed Seth, and the thought alone disgusted him. He couldn't understand why. Seth was so pure, so innocent, so giving, so loving…..was Jacob's influence and sway over his people so powerful that he could make them all hate someone as loving and pure as Seth? Jacob was at a loss for how he should feel as he began to punch at his steering wheel with confusion as an abyss of hopelessness seemed to open up inside his heart. Only one thing on the earth could fill that void.

Before Jacob could even realize what he was doing, he was already parked in front of the old familiar place of the Clearwater residence; a place that had been a mainstay constant during his childhood. With its ever noticeable broken shutter on the window above the garage and the chipped paint of the flower pots on the porch, Jacob felt a sense of loss as he gazed at the reflection of a life he missed so terribly, a life with Seth. He didn't know what brought him here but he knew he needed to be here….even though some part of him didn't want to be. Storming out of his truck and up the porch, Jacob banged loudly on the door realizing too late that in his drunken state he had jumped out of his truck and onto his feet far too quickly. He leaned against the doorframe to help support his light head, forcing himself to function long enough to see Seth. In Jacob's mind, he needed to settle things once and for all, not for Seth, but for himself. He needed to confront Seth and give himself closure. For what reason, Jacob had no clue. What he would say, Jacob still had no idea. He needed to push Seth even further away if he was ever to conquer these demons but was that really what brought him here? A part of Jacob knew that really, he just desperately needed to see Seth. Jacob hadn't seen any cars in the drive way but that didn't mean anything. Seth didn't have a car so he could be inside, hiding from the pack and himself. But Jacob gritted his teeth when he realized that he could be walking into a complicated situation if Embry, Leah and Collin were here with Seth. They would never let Jacob even set foot into the house. But using his heightened wolf senses, a quick whiff of the air told him the others were nowhere nearby. Only one scent stood out, and that was Seth's but he couldn't be sure. He was still so drunk and inebriated that he could barely stand at the moment and he wasn't sure if he could even trust his senses or his instincts at this point.

When the door opened, Jacob saw a frail and frightened Seth standing reluctantly behind the protection of the opened door. Jacob's heart began to flutter and soar in that familiar way it always had whenever he looked at this former friend. His eyes were red and puffy with what Jacob could see were dried tears on his cheeks. Jacob sighed realizing Seth must have been crying himself to sleep again and it hurt to know he was the cause. But he couldn't falter. He was here for a reason and he needed to see that through no matter how his heart felt.

"J…Jacob? What…what are you doing here?" Seth asked in an unsure and panicked voice as he looked at the beautiful and strong man standing in the rain at his door step. Jacob's normally short spiked up hair was soaked through from the rain, causing his hair to fall against his forehead from the dampness. His black shirt clung to his chiseled body and Jacob's darkened eyes and clenched jaw caused his heart to clench at how much he loved this man but how much he knew that this visit was not on good terms.

Jacob was still faltering as he took in Seth's boyish beauty but how he knew the younger man before him was the cause of so much pain and confusion for him but also the cause of so much love.

"I….I don't know…..came to see you I guess…..where's your sister?" Jacob asked in his deep voice.

Seth looked to the side nervously, unsure if it was safe to answer that question honestly.

"I asked you a question Seth." Jacob snarled as he leaned against the door frame for support, feeling his head getting light and ached with the early hang over that was soon to follow as a result of his wolf system processing the alcohol at an enhanced rate.

"Um...Leah…she, Embry and Collin are out….they….needed to find something….." Seth admitted looking down. He shuddered when he saw a small smile play at Jacob's lips.

"So...your new fucking pack's not here to look out for you, huh? So are you going to let me in or not?" Jacob asked darkly.

Seth didn't know why, but this just didn't feel right. Jacob shouldn't be here. And he could tell Jacob must have been out drinking with the pack again because he wasn't behaving like himself. Sure Jacob could be brash and rude in his own right, but there was something a little off about him tonight. Maybe Jacob was changing. Maybe they both were. Hesitantly Seth pulled the door further open to allow Jacob in, even though they both knew that if Jacob really wanted to he could over power Seth and barge in regardless.

Jacob followed Seth into the house as they made their way into the living room. His eyes followed Seth's figure from his short dark hair which had obviously been left unchecked and had started growing out to his shoulders. Jacob's eyes followed down Seth's slim figure down to his backside and the older man's mouth watered at the mere thought of bending Seth over one the couches and forcing him to take his cock. It took everything within Jacob not to reach out and just grab a handful of Seth's small but and thrust his cock which was now throbbing, against Seth's warm skin. He wanted nothing more at this moment than to see what it would be like to force himself on Seth. To take the young man's virginity without consent. There was nothing to stop him and he knew no one was here. It was the perfect chance to see what it would be like to be with another man. But he couldn't. He couldn't' hurt Seth that way. He couldn't prove that he was a fagget like Seth. But a part of him almost felt entitled….like his inner wolf knew that Seth belonged to him. And that thought both angered and excited him.

As Seth sat uneasily on one of the couches, Jacob followed suit and threw himself beside Seth, draping his arm behind Seth and resting it on the head of the couch. Seth looked at his hands nervously, twiddling his thumbs unsure of what he should say. He didn't know why Jacob was here but he thought maybe it would be a great chance to try to reach out and apologize to Jacob once more for the drama he caused. But Jacob seemed to be in an ambiguous mood so he didn't want to test unsure waters.

"Stop fucking doing that, it's annoying as hell." Jacob just snapped, causing Seth to jump a little. Jacob then began to laugh to himself at Seth's reaction. Seth looked at Jacob like he was scared to make any wrong movements. It was like being trapped by a raging dog or corned by a lion…sudden movements could very well anger the beast.

"Seth, calm down. I'm just piss drunk right now." Jacob began to say as he wore a sly smile on his face that began to form into a hardened stare as he took in Seth.

"Are you so fucking scared of me now that you can't even look at me?" Jacob questioned in a hard voice. Seth couldn't bring himself to look at Jacob. He knew the man hated him but he just couldn't stop loving him and he couldn't bring himself to look in Jacob's eyes and only see the hatred he knew was there.

"How...how did you drive here when you're drunk?" Seth asked timidly, chancing a glance at Jacob. Jacob's breath almost caught when their eyes met and he could feel his rising arousal flare in the pit of his stomach.

"Don't know. I just wanted to come see you…aren't you happy to see me?" Jacob questioned giving Seth an annoyed stare.

"Jake…..you don't look so good. Let me get you an aspirin." Seth said trying to change the subject, wanting to find any reason to get up and run away. He hoped that Embry, Leah and Collin would be back soon.

As Seth made his way into the kitchen, he grabbed a glass from the cupboards and began filling it with water from the tap. Fishing out the aspirin bottle from the medicine cupboard, Seth tried to calm his nerves. He really didn't want to go back into that room with Jacob but he didn't want to leave Jacob alone if he wasn't feeling well. Seth felt torn as the memories of everything that had transpired since he came out to Jacob came rushing back to him and his eyes began to water. He tried to wipe them away with the sleeve of his sweater, not wanting Jacob to see he was crying but he couldn't help it. He knew he was weak and worthless to Jacob and the pack so why did it even matter what they thought of him now. This coupled with the onslaught of nightmares that had plagued him these past few nights was all beginning to take their toll. He touched at his arms and while his wolf gene had thankfully healed all the scars he had sustained from his dream, it left his body feeling weak and achy.

As he turned to make his way back to the living room, he collided with a hard chest and firm muscles, having walked right into Jacob who had been standing behind him. To Seth's surprise, Jacob caught him from falling down, encircling his strong arms around Seth only for a moment.

"Whoa, easy there pup." Jacob chuckled as he caught Seth from tipping the glass of water.

"Jake….what are you doing up? You should be lying down." Seth asked a she handed the glass and aspirin to Jacob. Jacob looked at Seth knowingly as he took the items from the younger man, swallowing the pill and chugging the water behind them.

"Thanks Seth. But I'm not fucking stupid. Why did you try to run away from me just now? Hiding out in the kitchen solves nothing. I need to talk to you." Jacob said seriously. He grabbed at his head as he felt his head ache worsen.

"Okay, we can talk…..but Jake…let's go back in the living room. You need to sit down." Seth advised nervously, not wanting to anger Jacob. Jacob roughly grabbed Seth's hand and dragged him back into the living room. Seth felt a wave of emotions circle through his body at the mere touch of Jacob's skin against his own, their hands touching for the first time since before the death of their friendship. To Seth, it had seemed like an eternity. But it was soon over when Jacob released his hand once they made it back to the living room, throwing himself to the couch again Jacob looked to Seth who was still standing, too anxious to sit beside Jacob again.

"My God, Seth, sit the fuck down." Jacob spat. Jacob cursed himself he didn't intend to sound mean when he said it. But his head was bursting with a headache that was slowing ebbing its way into a full blown migraine despite the drunkenness that still remained within him. Seth being slow and cautiously nervous round him like a scared little rabbit was annoying Jacob to no end.

"You know Seth…you're so nice…..look at you, still trying to take care of me, even after I treat you like shit….you're always trying to be a good friend…but I guess that's what I should expect from you." Jacob said in a cold tone as he looked at Seth. He took another sip of his glass, never taking his eyes off of the beautiful young man that sat in front of him.

"What...do you mean?" Seth asked as he looked to Jacob, wanting to understand what Jacob was getting at. He had a feeling that Jacob was mocking him as the older man began to smile darkly to himself before chucking to himself.

"No matter what, I do to you, you still love me. You're so fucking hopeless Seth, can't you see I don't want you." Jacob said nonchalantly. "Look, I'm trying to be fucking nice about this. I know you're hurt and what not and you blame me but you'll get over it. Eventually you'll get over it and who knows Seth…you know, maybe you'll find a nice girl to fuck one day and maybe you can be normal for once, like the rest of us. I mean...if you think about it, you brought all this shit on yourself, you know. I had no idea you were a fag and the thought of you being so close to me for so long and feeling that way…it freaked me out. That's why I reacted the way I did." Jacob began ranting, as he tried to rationalize things to Seth but Seth could tell that Jacob was more rationalizing to himself. Jacob wasn't even looking at him at this point. He was looking off in a distant direction, like he was trying to figure things out to himself as he rambled on about his feelings; Seth tried to keep his own emotions in check at Jacob's hurtful words. He knew the older man was just being honest and that it was his own fault but he just never thought his best friend could be so callous in handling the situation up to this point.

"Um….Jacob…..I….you should rest up a little bit and I'll come back to check on you in the morning, okay." Seth said trying to ignore what Jacob had just said as he attempted to get up and leave. Jacob saw this and panicked. He just wanted to be near Seth and the younger man kept finding a way to evade the conversation and make an escape.

"Don't go Seth! You're always fucking running from me! Sit the fuck back down! I'm talking here!" Jacob shouted. Seth nodded solemnly and sat slowly back down.

"I'm trying to fucking explain how I feel here, but do you care? No! You don't give a damn about me! You're just trying to run away like you always do, just to spare your own feelings. Look it's not my fault I'm not a fag like you. I don't want you. I don't love you, oaky. So get over it and stop hiding out in this house and feeling sorry for yourself." Jacob yelled but began to calm down when he saw Seth's head down, sniffling to himself. Jacob bit his tongue in frustration. This wasn't his intention. He could feel the guilt slipping in as he saw just how much he was still hurting Seth. Jacob was just conflicted. He wanted to be near Seth, he wanted to hold him, he wanted to touch, to love him…but he couldn't. He couldn't get passed his own fears and the cause of this all was Seth.

"Look Seth. I…I didn't mean it like that. It's just….. You did this…you caused all of this." Jacob said angrily. "And stop fucking crying all the time. Look at me when I'm talking to you, damn it!" Jacob spat but still he got no response from Seth. Frustrated, he took hold of Seth's chin and lifted it roughly to force Seth to look at him.

"I'm sorry Jacob. I really am. I know this is my fault." Seth cried, feeling hopeless as he tried wiping away his tears furiously. "I wish I could be normal like you…like everyone else. But…." Seth couldn't finish his sentence. He hated feeling weak and stupid in front of Jacob, knowing full well how much the older man looked down on him. Jacob put a hand to Seth's shoulder, trying to loosen him up.

"Look don't get me wrong Seth, you're cute as fuck. I mean…do you…do you know why this is your fault?! Do you even know what you do to me?! I can't even stop my fucking dick from getting hard whenever I see you. You know, I've never touched a guy before but if I had to, my first choice would definitely be you." Jacob said tiredly as he reached his hand down and boldly grabbed at his own crotch in front of Seth, squeezing and stroking the engorged cock beneath his denim jeans. He never felt so excited and brave as he did now, trying to tease Seth and gauge the younger man's reaction.

Seth's cheeks flushed at Jacob's words and the younger wolf couldn't deny the thrill of blood that seemed to rush to his own nether regions at the prospect of Jacob becoming aroused because of him. Seth always felt like he was nothing special to look at so he had no idea why Jacob was speaking this way about him, he tried chalking it up to Jacob's drunkenness but he had no idea Jacob would ever say such a thing to him as if he wanted him. It truly was a shock to the younger man. Seth knew Jacob was straight and would never have any other inclinations, so why would he say things like that?

"Jacob...what…what are you saying?" Seth asked, too scared to know the answer but Jacob was determined to see where this could go…how far he could push Seth. He wanted to see just how much Seth would allow him to….

"Come on Seth, haven't you ever been…you know…curious? You've loved me for so long; I know you want me to fuck you." Jacob said darkly as he took his other hand grabbed hold of Seth's arms, grazing Seth's skin and caressing it all the way down to his waist then to the boy's pants zipper where he roughly grabbed a handful of Seth's cock. Seth involuntarily moaned out in ecstasy and surprise as his most intimate fantasies of him and Jacob flashed through his mind. He had always dreamt of Jacob on top of him, taking control and slowly but passionately making love to him as they writhed and mingled their bodies together as one, Jacob thrusting relentlessly into Seth as the younger man cried out and professed his love to him. That had always been a dream for Seth but now when Jacob was touching him in this way and in this manner; Seth felt it was cold, unemotional, unfeeling and unwanted. Seth quickly jerked away as he pushed Jacob's large hand away.

"Jacob stop!" Seth said quietly but sternly. Jacob almost flinched in surprise at Seth's reaction. Jacob's face contorted in disapproval, shock and offense. Jacob didn't expect Seth to resist his touch like that and a part of him was almost angered. He could almost hear his inner wolf growling and stirring within his loins, like he had been denied what was rightfully his.

"What? Are you kidding me?" Jacob scoffed.

"Please don't Jake…you just…you can't just…toy with me like that…not after everything thing…not with how I feel about you. This just isn't right." Seth stammered nervously. He stood up, not wanting to upset Jacob any further but unsure of why he would resist Jacob touching him in such an intimate way. He knew he wanted Jacob...but not like this. Not when Jacob was being this way with him. But before he could even process what had just transpired, his arm was painfully grabbed and he was spun around to face an angry Jacob who stood up as well.

"Don't you ever fucking tell me what I can and can't do to you! If I want to touch, I will. Do you understand!?" Jacob shouted. Seth took a step backward fearfully.

"I'm…I'm sorry." Seth muttered quietly. "I need…Jacob look you can rest here on the couch. I'm going to bed." Seth said, his head hung low as he walked past Jacob quickly and practically ran upstairs with tears in his eyes. Seth couldn't understand why Jacob was being this way or why he was even here to begin with. He guessed Jacob came to say what he needed to say minutes ago with his explanation of not wanting to hurt Seth and how this was all Seth's fault. Seth already knew all of this. He knew he was to blame for everything. But he still couldn't shake the idea of Jacob being aroused by him. What Jacob had said…what he did…he had never seen this side of Jacob before. And if Seth were honest with himself, he wasn't sure if he liked it.

Downstairs, Jacob kicked at the couch in irritation. He hated how everything he said and did was just fated to come out wrong. He never intended to upset Seth or become the bad guy but he was getting really sick and tired of Seth making him out to be this cruel person who was set out to hurt him. All Jacob did was come clean about his feelings on Seth's decisions and how they had affected him and the pack. Sure, Jacob could admit to himself that it was unfair to throw all the blame on Seth for what had happened but Jacob would be dammed if he would take on that responsibility…after all, he was the alpha, it was for Seth to follow him and not question what he said or did. It was not for him to keep running away from Jacob and denying him what was his. Jacob sat down on the couch, frustrated and agonized with the dilemma in his mind. His headache was still pounding as he was still somewhat on his alcoholic high and he was more and more confused by this anger that was building from Seth pulling away from him like he did. From where Jacob stood, Seth had no right to. He never wanted to hurt Seth, but Seth was the one who loved him, shouldn't he welcome the chance for Jacob to want to touch him? And the more Jacob thought about it, the more he questioned why he was sitting downstairs moping when he should just confront Seth about this upstairs. Jacob got up from his spot and made his way to the hallway, where he ascended the stairs to the second floor of the Clearwater house. At the end of the hall was Seth's door. It seemed like forever since he had been here and Jacob began to miss the familiar aromas that swam around his senses. He knocked on Seth's bedroom door gently, hearing sniffling through the wooden door.

The door opened and Seth peeked his head out fearfully to look at Jacob who wore an exasperated facial expression.

"What…Jacob? Jacob…I thought you were going to lie down. You're still drunk and shouldn't be up…" Seth began but was quickly cut off by Jacob.

"I'm not really that drunk Seth." Jacob lied with a lazy smile. "Okay, well maybe just a little but I wanted to apologize. Come on Seth, you know….you know I care about you." Jacob said, the admission taking Seth by surprise. Even though they were no longer friends, he knew Jacob had to care in some way but his actions had all but proven otherwise.

"Um…you…you do?" Seth asked. Jacob smiled as he brought his hand up to Seth's face, caressing the soft cheek gently.

"Of course I do Seth. I…I guess I've only hurt you these past weeks because I still care about you. I've just been so messed up. I want to hate you Seth…..I should. I mean, what you did to me, to the pack wasn't fair…but I still miss you…..God, I sound like a fag right now." Jacob admitted.

Seth really didn't know how to take all of this. Jacob was still blaming him. But at least now he wasn't angry with him.

"Seth, you're so fucking beautiful. Has anyone ever told you that?" Jacob asked deeply as he leaned himself forward towards Seth. Seth felt uncomfortable and reached his hand up to touch Jacob's which held his cheek.

"Jacob…please…let's just get some rest and maybe we can talk in the morning okay? I'll even make breakfast…just please….let's not do this now." Seth begged with a shaky tone of voice.

"Why the fuck not?! I just want to spend some fucking time with you! I want to talk to you and all you want to do is turn me away!" Jacob questioned hotly.

"Jake please! I'm not trying to turn you away! I do want tot talk I just think we need to do it with clear heads and right now you're drunk and…." Seth cried.

"I told you I'm not fucking drunk! Just shut the fuck up for once and let me touch you again!" Jacob ordered as he forced himself forward again, pushing himself and Seth against the door and into Seth's bedroom. Jacob grabbed at Seth's lithe body. His large and muscular hands grabbing anywhere he could touch as he relished in the feel of the younger man's soft, firm and delicate body; caressing his stomach, squeezing his butt and grinding himself against Seth as he leaned his face into Seth's neck, nipping and biting and sucking at the warm supple flesh as he continued to push Seth further into the room.

"Jacob…no, not like this….." Seth pleaded as Jacob continued to molest and grope him with animalistic desire. Jacob could not get enough. Every fiber of his being was ablaze with desire to rape and breed the boy in his arms. To forcibly take what he knew was his property, what rightfully belonged to him. Jacob had held in his desires for so long, it felt good for once to let his inhibitions go and take them out on the source of all his troubles, the one who made him ache and crave this so badly. He wanted to lay Seth to waste and show him as much love and passion as he had to give. Jacob wanted to hold the boy down and thrust his hard cock inside his virgin hole, marking the younger wolf as his. He wasn't a fag, he didn't want to be…but what he did here behind closed doors no one would ever know and he didn't know how much longer he could hold himself back.

"Oh damn you feel so fucking good Seth. Come on, let me fuck you tonight. I'll be gay for you tonight. I'll fuck you, since you want it so badly." Jacob growled into Seth's ear. He finally had pushed them so far into the room that the back of Seth's legs hit the bed and overpowered by Jacob's massive frame, Seth was pushed back onto the bed with Jacob on top of him. Seth tried to push at Jacob, to pull away from him without further upsetting the older wolf. He didn't want to be within an arm's reach of Jacob in case he got angry and decided to hit Seth like he had so many times before. But Seth even more didn't want to be involved with Jacob in a way that they might regret later. True, he internally shuddered at Jacob's touch as the older man sucked and nipped at the nape of his neck and it was everything Seth had imagined in his dreams…..but then again, it wasn't. It was devoid of any love or emotion, only carnal desire and Seth couldn't understand where it was coming from because he knew Jacob was not attracted to him, or so he thought. Seth's back arched and he sighed when Jacob thrust his leg in-between Seth's legs, forcing the younger man's legs apart so Jacob could further grind himself against Seth provocatively but the source of this was not love like Seth had dreamt about so many times. This was coming from a place that Seth couldn't fathom. He wished he knew why Jacob was doing this and what he was thinking and feeling but all he was left with was the idea that Jacob merely wanted to hurt and abuse him out of his own confusion and pain. Seth began to cry openly as he continued to struggle against Jacob, hoping he could get to the phone in time to call Embry, Leah and Collin back to the house as soon as possible.

"Stop it Jacob! Please! You're scaring me!" Seth cried as Jacob continued thrusting against him. Jacob lifted himself just in time to remove his jacket. Seth took the opportunity to lean himself up as well, as to try and push Jacob off but Jacob was too strong and pushed Seth back down roughly as he began attacking Seth's neck again with sucking and slurping kisses. Jacob found it odd how that was the only place he could concentrate as he could not bring himself to kiss Seth on the lips. That would be the crossing line that would not only force him to see Seth's tear stricken face but also force Jacob to accept the feelings he had tried so hard to bury.

"Stop fucking crying you little bitch! Isn't this everything you hoped for? Didn't you dream that I would fall madly in love with you and fuck you mercilessly?" Jacob mocked cruelly as he continued his sexual assault on Seth.

"No…I didn't want that. I never wanted this! Please Jacob, just go. Leave me alone!" Seth begged.

"You're a terrible liar. Besides, . I'm horny as shit and it's about time we fucked anyway. This is what you wanted, right? You love me don't you? Then let me have you." Jacob spat out as his hands attempted to undo Seth's belt buckle, he began pushing Seth's jeans down as he grabbed at Seth's hands and pinned them above his head on the bed, preventing Seth from further resistance.

"Jake…...please…stop it! You're hurting me!" Seth begged as he sobbed, feeling Jacob smirk against his neck.

"Don't be scared. You love me don't you? Isn't this what you want, isn't this what you always dreamed of?" Jacob questioned. "Fuck, you really are sexy Seth. Just let me fuck you…. just once and I'll promise I'll leave. It won't hurt that badly, I won't be too rough…unless you ask me too." Jacob chuckled darkly. Jacob became lost in the sensations his body was feeling as he writhed and thrust against Seth's body. Just the mere touch alone was enough to bring him to orgasm in his own pants. He wanted desperately to stop but he couldn't. He had waited for so long for this and to finally have it, to finally be brave enough to take what was his filled him with such a power and freedom that he couldn't get enough of. Jacob didn't want to hurt Seth and he tried his best to ignore Seth's cries and please to stop but Jacob wasn't about to stop yet. Not when he was on the brink of getting Seth right where he wanted him. Maybe…maybe he could negotiate with Seth. Maybe he could sexually use Seth on the side as along as Seth told no one that Jacob was gay and wanted him. Maybe they could make this work if nobody found out. Jacob tried to rationalize and reason this all in his head but it made his drunken state all the more painful and he just wanted lose himself in the feel of Seth's body underneath his own.

"No! Not like this! Please Jake, let go of me!" Seth cried but Jacob continued to ignore him and he felt Jacob reach his hand inside his boxers and grab at Seth's cocks squeezing it lustfully and then gliding over towards his backside where he squeezed at the soft flesh of his ass. Seth tried to kick out and lash out but he couldn't he as he felt powerless. But then in one split instant, he was able to maneuver his leg in just the right direction, kicking his knee up and felt it connect with Jacob's groin.

"Oh…fuck!" Jacob snarled painfully as he finally let go of Seth and fell to the floor, grabbing at his crotch as he breathed and snarled in pain. In a panic, Seth scrambled up from his helpless position on the bed and pulled his jeans back on as he looked down at Jacob who was on the floor trying to gain his bearings. Seth felt horrible for the dirty move but he had no other choice. He hopped off the bed and knelt back away slowly from Jacob as he attempted to apologize. He wanted to make sure Jacob was okay, but he didn't want to be too close to an angered Jacob either.

"Oh…Jake…I….I'm so sorry….I didn't mean to…..I 'm so sorry Jake." Seth tried to apologize while keeping his distance but when Jacob finally looked up at him, his blood turned to ice at what he saw. Jacob scowled darkly at him, his eyes filled with hatred and venom as he continued to clutch at his groin.

"You'll fucking pay for that you little bitch!" Jacob growled. Seth panicked and raced out of the bedroom as fast as he could. He knew he would never make it out of the house before Jacob could catch up with him so he dashed for the nearest room, the bathroom down the hall. He could hear Jacob right behind him, his heavy steps bounding behind Seth like a predator. Seth knew Jacob was going to kill him. He knew he would pay for hurting the older man. But he hoped that maybe he could barricade himself in the bathroom long enough for Embry, Collin and Leah to come back and help him. Seth jetted into the hall bathroom and tried to slam the door closed before Jacob could get in but he was too late. No sooner had he closed the door, Jacob slammed his strong and heavy body against the door. Seth pushed against the door with all his might, hoping to get the door closed enough to lock it.

"SETH! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR BEFORE I BREAK IT DOWN!" Jacob roared angrily.

"Jacob please…please just leave me alone! Please! I'm sorry Jake…I'm so fucking sorry..Please just leave me alone!" Seth cried like a baby. He felt like this was a scene out of his nightmares. The terror he felt for someone he loved was unthinkable. He just wanted to die. Anything, other than to face Jacob's wrath.

"GET OFF THE FUCKING DOOR!" Jacob snarled, pushing against the door with all his weight forcing Seth to fall backwards on the hard tiled bathroom floor.

"Jacob…please….." Seth sobbed as he looked up at Jacob's massive frame entering the bathroom like a serial killer. Seth scrambled up off the floor and backed away, with nowhere to hide or run to.

"Jacob please..I'm so sorry I…" But before Seth could finish his sentence, his head snapped the other way with a cracking sound as Jacob back handed him harshly. Tears spilled from Seth's eyes as blooded dribbled from his bottom lip. He held his mouth as he put out a helpless hand against Jacobs assault to no avail.

"Well pup if you wanted to play rough than all you had to do was ask." Jacob spat as he threw his fist brutally into Seth's stomach causing Seth to cry out in pain and sorrow at what his beloved was doing to him. Jacob wasn't through yet as he backhanded Seth again, causing the younger man to fall to floor again, hitting his head against the bath tub, cutting his forehead slightly on the edge as he began bleeding on the white bathroom floor.

"Jacob…I'm begging you please!" Seth sobbed.

"Shut up you little bitch! I'm sick of this! I'm sick of you! You make me hurt you, over and over you torture me, making me want you and forcing me to desire you! Well the truth is I do fucking want you! I want to love you, and hold you and fucking make you mine and it's all your damn fault! I never wanted to be a worthless fagget like you! Jacob sobbed as he brutally punched Seth across the jaw. He held the boy down as he went back to work on his jeans like before, furiously ripping against the belt buckle and roughly ripping the pants down Seth's fragile legs.

"Open you're fucking legs so I can see that pussy you've been hiding from me all this time! You want me to fucking breed your cunt, don't you, you stupid little bitch!" Jacob spat as he continued to punch Seth who did nothing but cry out for the pain to stop. Jacob finally got Seth's boxers down and his eyes glazed over as he took in the sight of Seth's naked waist. He had always dreamt of Seth's body and what he saw was more than anything he could have ever dreamt of his. Jacob seized Seth's small waist and he took in the sight of Seth's beautiful boyish cock and a small set of balls nestled perfectly under his cock in a beautifully russet colored sack. His eyes fell to the tight virgin hole of Seth's ass that made Jacob's cock twitch automatically, like something was calling him to plunge right in without hesitation. As Jacob held Seth down, he put his index and middle finger together and sucked on them profusely before stabbing them quickly and fully into Seth's tight anal hole, ripping right through the anal walls , tearing the delicate flesh.

Seth screamed out in agony as he endured what felt like a hot knife that had been stabbed up his rectum. Seth opened his eyes barely enough to see a furious and obsessed Jacob stabbing his fingers into the younger wolf's virgin hole, fingering him violently, gyrating his thick digits up Seth's channel repeatedly. Seth wept and begged Jacob with all he had in him to stop but he couldn't reach Jacob any longer. He no longer knew if he would live or die through this experience. Jacob was now someone else. He had become something else and in the distance Seth could hear nothing but the horrific sound of those all too familiar hooves….a demon's hooves stomping on the ground. Seth screamed out at the pain he endured, as he heard nothing of what Jacob was angrily muttering about, the sound of hooves stomping up the stairs and down the hall towards the bathroom they were in. Seth knew that whatever that thing was…it was coming for him and he half expected it to rear its ugly head through the slightly ajar bathroom door. Seth cried out for help. He cried out for Embry, for Leah, for Collin..For anyone to help him.

"STOP FUCKING SCREAMING FOR GOD'S SAKE! NO ONE'S COMING TO HELP YOU!" Jacob shouted as he ripped his fingers from Seth's ass and back handed the younger man yet again.

"You stupid bitch! You're always blaming me for hurting you! It's your fault, if you hadn't told me you were a fag and ruined our friendship you wouldn't be going through this! It's all your fault! It's your fault I can't even sleep at night cause I'm scared of you…I'm scared of what you've turned me into…you think I wanted this?! You think I wanted to be a fag like you!? Huh?! ANSER ME, DAMN IT!" Jacob screamed as his hands automatically reached for Seth's small neck and gripped tightly like a vice, choking him. Jacob was angry, he hated what Seth had done to him and he felt like for once he was freeing himself even thought honestly he didn't feel anything like himself.

"Jacob! Please…I love you! I love you! I always have….I always will." Seth cried out with the last bit of excruciating emotion he had within him. It was like the faint cry of a child who had been beaten without knowing the wrong they had done. It shrieked through the small bathroom, reverberating around both Jacob and Seth with all the intensity and love that Seth had left in him to give as he continued to sob uncontrollably. Jacob couldn't help the tears that escaped his eyes as he too began to cry, trying furiously to keep hurting Seth but no matter what he did…no matter how far he pushed…it never changed anything. And that realization coupled with Seth's cries that he would still always love him opened d a torrent of emotion in Jacob's heart that caused him to falter as he stopped and took in his own actions. Jacob instantly let go of Seth and backed away like a frightened child, looking at his shaking hands fearfully.

"_No matter what I do to him…he…still loves me…and I've hurt him…not because of anything he did to me…but because I….I am the one that loves him."_Jacob thought to himself as he took in the scene before him, watching Seth curl into a fetal position and cry desperately.

A cold chill ran through Jacob's body, his heart and his soul as he looked at his actions…what he had done tonight…how far he had gone….how much pain he alone had caused…not because of what Seth had done, but because of how Jacob felt. Jacob felt the need to vomit as he backed away. It was as if he hadn't been himself…or maybe he hadn't truly known who he was until the realization dawned upon him. He was scared of what and who he had become and before Jacob could take in what was happening he looked down and finally met Seth's eyes that were tear stricken and the blood on his face and the blood…everywhere from the wounds Seth had endured from Jacob's attack. This was crossing all the lines. Jacob felt a chill in the air and it was like splash of ice water was thrown over him, sobering him completely and making him see the reality that his dreams had been trying to show him all along, the reality he had been trying to run from. The scene before him was a direct illustration of what Jacob knew to be true. This was never Seth's fault…it was his own. It was like Quil and the pack had said earlier that night. Jacob had no one else to blame but himself and no matter how much destruction he had brought about, Seth…..still unconditionally loved him and the thought alone shook Jacob to his very core.

Jacob's eyes went wide with horror and he continued backing away until his back hit the bathroom wall. Fear and realization at what he had done rained upon him….not just now…but what he had been doing all along. Jacob couldn't understand how he couldn't have ever seen it before…..no matter what he had done to Seth, did it ever change anything? Did it ever change his feelings for the younger wolf? Did it make him not want Seth anymore? All these questions flew through Jacob's mind at a mile a minute and Jacob couldn't come up with a yes for any of these questions. He felt his inner wolf crying out in desperation to help soothe and aid Seth but how could he? Not when he had gone to such lengths to hurt him? Jacob watched Seth, who looked up fearfully at him. Jacob took in just how broken, vulnerable and defeated Seth looked he took in the blood that ran down his forehead, the blood on his lips, the blood that had spilled on the floors, the blood everywhere….Jacob couldn't understand how he could let himself get to this point. He loved Seth. He always had. But to go to such lengths to destroy the one thing he wanted most just because he thought it was an abomination against their pack, their tribe? Just because Jacob didn't wan to be a freak or be different, he turned on his most beloved friend in the world and put him through such hell and punishment…Jacob's eyes began to water at the realizations of what he had done. Tears then turned to outward sobbing as Jacob began crying profusely like a baby, cupping his face with his strong hands he wept, uttering a string of apologies.

"OH GOD…..SETH…I'M SO SORRY…I'M SO FUCKING SORRY….I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU…PLEASE SETH…I'M SO SORRYY…" Jacob sobbed over and over as he fell to the floor, crying uncontrollably. Seth sat up, the pain in his body screaming against him and he winced as he held himself, struggling to sit up. He managed to reach his ragged jeans and pull them back on, though his aching body protested with a vengeance. As Seth took in the sight before him and saw a broken and sobbing Jacob pushed to the limit, it was not something Seth would have thought he would ever see. The mere sight broke Seth's heart into pieces. No matter what Jacob had done, he would never wish this upon anyone. He knew Jacob was going through so much pain and confusion caused by him, but after the revelations of tonight….Seth was starting to see why. He never knew why until now. But it all started to make sense. Jacob had hated and loathed him because Jacob was at least…in some small way….attracted to Seth and loved him, he was just confused by those feelings. Seth could never have fathomed it before….but this was why Jacob blamed him and it made sense. It finally made sense. Seth began to cry at the sight of Jacob crying before him. Seth truly felt like it was his fault. If Seth had never revealed his feelings, it never would have made Jacob question himself and go through this situation of self hating and shutting out his true feelings.

"Seth I'M SO SORYY…I'm so fucking sorry. I didn't want to…I wanted to be with you….just to be near you…but I never meant to hurt you…I never meant any of this. Seth I'm so sorry …..I…..I….I…can't….I can't do this….oh god….." Jacob began to quiver and shake at the realizations of what he had done to Seth…what he had almost done to him. He had almost raped him…he had almost killed him…what was the matter with him? It was like something in him was using his own emotions of hate and confusion against him to further the distance between them both. Jacob felt disgusting and horrifying all at once, and he kept shaking as he held himself like a baby and continued to cry.

"Jake….." Seth whimpered, trying to fight his own tears as he scooted closer to Jacob.

"SETH DON'T!…..I….I can't…you can't touch me…I might hurt you…" Jacob cried as he began panicking, backing further and further away from Seth in fear. Seth's eyes poured tears of despair at seeing Jacob so upset. Seth knew that anyone else might not have forgiven someone who had beaten them, who had kicked them out and pushed them away, who had humiliated and degraded them, who had almost raped them….but Seth also knew Jacob's heart. He knew that despite how strong and powerful Jacob seemed on the outside, deep down he was still that frightened little insecure boy on the inside.

"Jake…please…it's okay…I understand…it's not your fault…it's mine." Seth muttered through his tears, trying to reach out to Jacob who just backed away. Seth watched as Jacob stood abruptly, not even attempting to hold back the anguish of sobs that racked through his body. Jacob felt like a multitude of emotions were piercing through his body. He knew had put himself in this situation because he was too afraid to admit who and what he was. Jacob had spent so much energy trying to hide his secret that he not only pushed Seth away but he punished him for a crime that the younger wolf was not even guilty of. If anyone should have paid that punishment, it should have been Jacob and he knew this. Quil's words came rushing back to haunt him, reminding him that this all began because of Jacob…the only one to blame…..was him.

"Seth…oh god Seth I…I'm so damn sorry….I never meant…I can't…..I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you…but…but I can't be here…I have to go….I'm so sorry…" Jacob wept repeatedly. "Is this what I am? A fucking monster?!"

"No Jake….you're not a monster. Do you hear me? You never were. This was my doing…maybe I did cause all of this, and I'm so fucking sorry Jake…I'm so sorry. I….I know it's wrong….but I think…no matter what happens…I'll always love you, and I'm so sorry. I hope one day…you can forgive me." Seth wept as he dashed out of the bathroom, down the stairs and out of the Clearwater house. He didn't care what Jacob had done to him because he loved the older wolf more than life itself. Seth felt now that Jacob's actions were only a result of the mistake he had made by revealing his secret feelings. Seth would give anything to take Jacob in his arms and console him and tell him that everything was okay but all he could do was let Jacob go for good now. Seth finally could see there was nothing left for him..…nothing left for either of them.

Panicking , Jacob immediately ran after Seth, running for his beloved despite the sobs that continued to soar through him.

"SETH! PLEASE! SETH DON'T GO! I;M SORRY! SETH PLEASE! I'M SORRY!" Jacob screamed after Seth as he chased him down the stairs but Seth was too fast for him and made it out of the door before Jacob could catch him. Jacob cried like a baby as he ran out into the dark night, his whole body trembling from the fear and heartache that consumed him as he tried to keep chasing after Seth to no avail. He followed him across the front lawn and across the street, continuously screaming after the boy he was scared he had pushed away forever.

"SETH PLEASE! PLEASE DON'T GO! I'M SORRY! OH GOD, I'M SO FUCKIGN SORRY!" Jacob shouted until his voice was horse and his cries became excruciatingly painful to shout any longer. Before he could catch up though, Seth had made a dash into the nearest woods across the street and disappeared as Jacob fumbled and tripped, falling in the street and scraping his elbows harshly on the graveled road, but he didn't care about the pain. He knew he deserved as much if not more for what he had done. He sat in the road, crying his heart out as he continued to call for Seth but he knew he had lost him. Picking himself up quickly, Jacob ran back to the Clearwater home driveway where his truck was. . He jumped in his truck and started it up as he slammed the steering wheel over and over at the injustice of it all…at the unfairness of what he had done…at what he had become. Jacob asked himself, the question bouncing around in his head over and over as he hurriedly pulled out of the parking lot and sped his way down the street intent on finding Seth as he continued to cry. As he drove on through the night, he swore that no matter what he would find Seth tonight no matter what.


	11. Tear it all down

AUTHOR'S NOTE - I just want to extend my gratitude to you all for reading the story and for your continued support. I was very touched by a lot of your thoughts, comments and encouragement. I've said this before, and I'll say it again….this story lives on because of you. I'm trying to get back to answering all of the reviews and PMs that you all sent, so again, thank you so much. It means the world to me. I hope everyone will be able to enjoy this chapter here.

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CHAPTER 11

Paul stumbled into his house, for once not drunk from any booze he had consumed, but racked and rattled by nerves. Jacob's blow up at the pack meeting earlier rattled everyone for different reasons but for Paul he felt shame and guilt eating at his heart. He had been on pins and needles already even before they met up after the wedding rehearsals. Paul thought to himself that it began the night that Embry confronted him and the pack at the bar when he had announced he was leaving the pack and that he had imprinted on Collin. No one could believe it or even understand why or how something like that could have happened. They had tried purposely keeping it from the elders for fear of their reaction because some of the pack didn't even know what to think of it themselves. When Jacob left in a fury tonight the elders tried consoling everyone and telling them it wasn't their fault and that Jacob had his own demons to work through. But Paul knew no one was really buying it. The truth was, Paul had tried keeping quiet the whole time because he couldn't find it in himself to voice his feelings on Seth when he finally was coming to terms with his own feelings for Brady. And if he did indeed love him, calling Seth out would make him a hypocrite. Paul had never faced this before but all of sudden his life was being turned on its head and he was being forced to care about people when before all he had to do was look out for himself. But the more that Jacob had ranted at them and questioned if maybe they were making the wrong choice in hurting Seth left everybody feeling weird and misguided themselves. Paul recalled all the times he had mocked and abused Seth and the guilt started gnawing at his heart when he realized what he had done to his fellow pack mate and he knew that everyone had felt it. After Jacob left, Quil finally admitted what everyone was feeling….no one could deny the effects of Seth's exile coupled with Embry and Collin's voluntary exile. It was opening a wound in the pack...a void that they felt in their hearts and Paul wondered how they had ignored it for so long but the longer he hadn't seen Seth, Embry or Collin…the more he realized that this void was widening, threatening to crumble the very heart of the pack from within.

Paul cursed to himself as he made his way into the house. He wasn't used to having to deal with all of these emotions and worries but he couldn't trust himself to open up and be vulnerable to anyone else. All of this plagued his mind as he made his way back to Brady's bedroom. He felt as if something in him was aching to see the boy who had not woken up in a couple of days and both he and Sam were beginning to worry. Paul didn't want to share his secret and unveil what had really happened between them but he knew that if he didn't get help soon then Brady could be serious danger. Brady being asleep for so long could mean there were other health complications and he felt selfish for keeping the boy's condition a secret but he was just too scared right now…..scared of his feelings, scared of the pack's opinions if they found out and scared most of all that if the elders and the whole tribe found out that they would get involved and take Brady away from him. Paul almost cried at the thought. He cursed himself again as he tried to wipe the stray tear from his face but now that he had Brady in his life despite what he had done to him all these years, he couldn't take the thought of not having him around. It was too painful to think about.

"Brady?!" Paul called as he made it to Brady's dark room. But when he flipped the light switch on, his heart dropped down to his feet instantly at what he saw. Nothing but an empty bed with tangled sheets. Paul began to panic as his mind moved at a mile a minute with every possible scenario.

"Oh god…oh fucking god….not again!" Paul panicked as he ran through the house.

"Brady where are you?! BRAY!" Paul shouted running from the kitchen and into the living room searching the closet he once found Brady hiding in the time he had gotten drunk and started beating him…..Paul hated himself for that, for the fear he had instilled in the child. He ran into the hall closet…he recalled Brady had hid there once when Paul was again drunk and a little high when Brady had accidently burnt the dinner Paul ordered him to make. Paul cried as he remembered how he had dragged the boy out of the closet and whipped him with his belt…he was crying and panicking as every past action flooded his mind, and told him these were the reasons why Brady had taken off. Paul's fear was that he was a monster…but his greatest fear was that Brady would only ever see him as nothing but just that, a cold blooded unfeeling monster.

Paul was manic at this point as he ran to his bedroom. He didn't think Brady would ever go there but by the time he raced there ad flicked the light switch on his heart leaped with joy and relief at the image o Brady calmly sitting on the bed looking down at the floor.

"Jesus! Brady?! Oh my god, are you okay!?" Paul shouted as he raced over to Brady. He didn't know what overcame him but he rushed over to the boy and pulled him into a deep hug, holding him tightly and rocking him back forth. Paul had never shown him such affection before and he knew he was probably shocking the boy like this but he didn't care. He was just happy that Brady was okay, that he was finally awake and most importantly that he was still here with him.

"Oh God Brady I'm so fucking glad you're alright! When did you wake up?! Didn't you hear me calling you?!" Paul asked as he pulled back enough to see Brady's face. He kept the boy in his arms as he searched Brady's eyes for any response or change but Brady continued to look down. Paul brought his rough hands up to cup Brady's soft and supple cheeks, grazing the boy's bottom lip with the pad of his thumb gently. Paul couldn't lie to himself anymore. This boy was beyond beautiful, inside and out and Paul wanted nothing more than to make Brady his. He just prayed that Brady would give him a chance…he just prayed that Brady could see the good that was left in him.

"I woke up and…and you weren't here." Brady said softly, keeping his eyes downcast. Paul was worried to see Brady like this. He was hardly responding and he wouldn't look Paul in the eyes. Paul rubbed his hands over Brady's arms and he noticed the slashes and cuts he had found on Brady when he found him the cave were starting to heal but they were taking an uncharacteristically long time to heal completely as the wolf within should have healed fully by now.

"Shit Brady, I'm sorry. I was at a pack meeting. I was hoping to only be there for a little bit. I didn't mean to stay out so long. How are you feeling?" Paul asked nervously.

"I'm fine." Brady stated quietly. He looked up to Paul, his hair which had been growing longer falling slightly into his face and Paul wanted so much to kiss the beautiful boy who was making his heart beat a mile a minute. _"How the fuck could I have been so hateful and hurt this boy…all because of my feelings for him? Just because I was confused."_

"Brady….I….look we…we need to talk." Paul stuttered, still holding onto Brady. He wanted so badly to apologize to Brady for not only what he had done that night, but for everything he had done to him through their life together. But he was just unsure how. He wanted to start again, but how could when he had been so hateful and caused Brady so much pain? How do you apologize for raping someone? How do you apologize for beating and depraving them every day of their lives?

"Talk? About what?" Brady asked in a quiet whisper. He moved slightly trying to get out of Paul's hold but Paul held tight, afraid that Brady would run away and leave him again.

"Um…you know, about what…what happened the other night. What I've done to you…." Paul continued, his nerves getting the best of him. It was extremely awkward and hard for Paul because he was so accustomed to being blunt and harsh with people and portraying this cold hearted bastard image to everyone. To show his vulnerable side like this was almost a little jarring for him. But when Brady had disappeared, it had been an eye opener for Paul and every time he had to leave the house for one thing or another, he was scared to death that Brady would disappear and the thought alone was horrifying. He couldn't live without Brady and he was beginning to see that more clearly with each passing day.

"Oh…that….don't worry about it." Brady said with a small nervous smile as he just shrugged. Paul's eyes widened in response at Brady's dismissal of the serious matter.

"No Brady…I….Brady I'm so fucking sorry. I shouldn't have…I should never have hurt you like that. I don't even know how I could….Brady you have to believe me, I'm so sorry I hurt you….I….when I woke up and I couldn't find you….I thought you had given up on me completely…I thought you had left for good…" Paul apologized as he began to cry, disregarding his pride and masculinity. But he didn't care how foolish he looked. He just wanted Brady to not see him for the monster that he feared he had become.

"Paul…..how could I give up on you? I love you." Brady replied as he looked up at Paul with void and vacant eyes. Paul sat upright, looking at Brady with confusion, anticipation and anxiety as a small but yet unbelieving smile played as his lips. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You…you do? but...but how…how can you love a fucking monster like me?" Paul asked desperately. Paul's heart was swelling like never before. He knew Brady liked him all these years but to hear him confirm it, to hear those words…it made Paul feel so enraptured and warm and safe. He almost wanted to cry, he pulled Brady closer into his arms. He wanted to love this boy so badly and now maybe he would have his chance.

"Paul. …you know I've always loved you. That's what angered and confused you so much. You knew how much I loved you. And you raped me anyway. If that's not love…I don't know what is." Brady said gently with a small chuckle but a cold chill ran down Paul's spine at the realization of what Brady had just said and he pulled back enough to look Brady in the eyes.

"B…Brady…what are you saying? That's not…Brady what I did was …..I was fucking wrong….I've taken my anger out on you all these years…but I was really just angry at myself…I didn't want to feel the way I did about you…but when I thought you left…that scared me more than any fear of being gay or loving you." Paul confessed, praying that Brady would believe him. It sounded to him as if Brady was justifying what Paul had done and he didn't want that. He didn't want Brady to be okay with it because it was wrong and he never should have laid a finger on the boy. Had he crushed the boy's confidence and dignity so much that he didn't think anything of it now when Paul mistreated him?

"Don't do this to yourself Paul. I don't blame you. I never did." Brady soothed Paul's fears but Paul didn't know how to feel about it.

"But…why? You should blame me Bray…..I did this...this is all my fault." Paul said with a tear running down his cheek. Brady smiled and lifted his hand up to Paul's face, running his hand over the rough stubble of the older man's chin and reaching up to wipe away the man's tears.

"No it's not. I mean…just look at you. You're so gorgeous and beautiful Paul….anyone would be lucky to be raped by you." Brady confessed. But Paul's eyes widened as he pulled Brady back, still holding him but unable to believe what he was hearing. Was Brady praising him for what he had done?

"Brady, don't say that! That's not true! I should never have done that!" Paul begged, wanting Brady to not say those things because it only made him feel worse. Paul knew how he carried himself, walking around like he owned everything and could bed anyone he wanted. He knew he flaunted himself around Brady and never gave the boy anything but cruel words and beatings. But it hurt him to think that in Brady's mind he was lucky to be given the time of day from Paul, even if it was through such a horrible and violent act.

"No Paul. You've got it wrong. You should have done that. I wanted it. And I want it now." Brady said wearily as he pulled himself closer to Paul. Paul was already holding him so it was easy for Brady to slide himself onto Paul's lap and wrap his small and thin legs around Paul's waist. Before Paul could fully take in what was happening, Brady leaned in and kissed Paul. Their lips met in a hot electric battle for dominance as Paul gave in. He took control, wanting so badly to dominate and mate Brady again. He wanted nothing more than to hold the younger boy down and make love to him over and over until he had no more seed left in him. Paul enclosed his strong muscled arms around Brady aggressively and forced his tongue into the boy's moth, sucking and slurping on the boys tongue as they both battle for control. All of Paul's senses heightened immediately as blood rushed to his groin, engorging his cock as it strained to be let free. With Brady in his lap, he was sure the boy could feel his clothed dick beneath his denim jeans, poking up at the boy's rear.

But another chill went down his spine as something about this kiss seemed unfamiliar. It was not the gentle and sweet nature that Paul had come to know about Brady and it felt distant. It just didn't seem right and Paul pulled back hesitantly, breaking the kiss.

"Brady….um…. what the hell…why did you kiss me…I thought we were going to talk." Paul said nervously.

"Oh come on Paul, make me feel good…you know, like you did last night." Brady said seductively, gyrating and rotating his hips and his ass against Paul's groin, enticing the older man. Paul was struggling with his aching arousal but he didn't want thinks to go in this direction.

"Brady...stop…..Brady we talked about this….what I did was a mistake…it shouldn't have happened…I'm sorry I…I shouldn't have done that to you." Paul apologized sincerely but Brady just smiled knowingly at him.

"Come on Paul, you loved it. Hell, I loved it. I know that we both wanted it for so long." The boy cooed as he tightened his legs around Paul's waist and tried pulling Paul back on top of him.

Paul gave into temptation as he pushed Brady back onto the bed and kissed him forcefully. He heard the boy coo and sigh as he nipped and suckled at his neck, using his knees, Paul spread Brady's legs further open so he could grind his crotch into Brady, eliciting a gasp from the younger wolf beneath him. They kissed passionately as the heat radiated off of both of them and the aura of lust became so thick it was suffocating. Paul wanted it so badly he could barely stand it. His cock was aching and straining to be freed and to find that sweet and warm sheath that he had found in Brady's hole. He wanted to make love to the boy and mate him as his but still something about this felt wrong. Paul broke their kiss, pushing himself up slightly as he hovered above Brady who looked up at him questioningly.

"Brady that's enough. We can't….You're only sixteen. We can't do this. Not like before…not again." Paul tried to rationalize, struggling with himself. He sat upright, rearranging his dick and licking his lips but Brady tried holding on to him as he glared accusingly at the older man.

"Why not?! That didn't stop you the other night. Come on Paul, I can make you feel good. Just fuck me please. I need your cock inside me! " Brady shouted. Paul looked at him with disbelieving eyes and his heart felt heavy and scared all at once. Why was Brady behaving this way?

"Brady, don't fucking talk like that! Please! That's not you! This isn't like you at all!" Paul begged sadly as he shook Brady gently. He hated to hear the boy speak like this….it was as if he was someone else.

"You fucking raped me Paul. Now do it again! Please Paul, force yourself on me again! I need you to fuck me!" Brady pleaded. Paul's eyes began to tear up as he feared he had done this to Brady. Had he made the boy want him so badly, had he damaged him in some way? He couldn't understand why his sweet Brady was speaking like this. Paul didn't like it...it wasn't like his Brady at all.

"Brady…don't…talk like that...that isn't you." Paul cried as he tried to hold Brady but the younger wolf tried pushing him away, looking at Paul with disgust in his eyes. It was those eyes that Paul feared most because it made him think Brady saw him as nothing but a monster.

"Don't you fucking tell me what is and isn't me as if you know me. Now fuck me already! Don't you want to penetrate me…don't you want to slide that impressive cock in me and fuck me senseless. I need it Paul…so do you. Do you remember how tight and warm it felt inside me? Do you remember how much my moans turned you on….how your toes curled as you cried out in orgasm when you planted your seed inside me…." Brady screamed as he tried convincing Paul to take him again but Paul was too broken and rattled to even form coherent sentences at this point. He wanted Brady more than anything but he hated how Brady saw himself as just a piece of meat for Paul to breed. And he hated how Brady was behaving. He knew something was wrong because his Brady would never speak in such a way. Paul recalled times when he had mocked and verbally abused Brady before because the young boy was too afraid of the word "sex" let alone being able to actually swear and use expletives like he was doing now. Had Paul corrupted the boy? Maybe this was his fault.

"Brady…please…I…I don't...Brady this is so fucking hard for me, okay….I don't know…I shouldn't have done any of that….I know that now…I'm sorry…I'm so fucking sorry…but please don't be like this… I want it…I want you so badly, but I don't want to be a monster." Paul began to cry as he fought to confess his feelings through his shaky sobs. But he feared Brady felt no sympathy when he didn't even react to Paul's tears.

"But….you are a monster Paul. That's what I love about you." Brady simply shrugged and those words broke Paul more than anything. He began sobbing, not wanting to give into how others saw him but it hurt more that Brady…the only one he ever wanted saw him as nothing but a cruel and cold hearted monster. Paul tried hugging Brady closer as he whispered over and over repeatedly that he wasn't a monster.

"No I'm not!" Paul cried.

"Yes you fucking are! Now fuck me already!" Brady demanded coldly.

"No Brady! Not like this! I can't! I love you!" Paul cried. Brady kept pleading in such a cruel manner and Paul was slowly getting somewhat angry. He didn't know what overcame him but through his tears he finally managed to shout no in such a hateful and angry way that he cringed because it was how he normally spoke to the boy and he didn't want to treat him that way anymore.

"Fuck you then!" Brady shouted in response as he swung his fist with all his might across Paul's face. It happened all so suddenly that Paul was not expecting the painful and sharp blow he was met with. It was almost unreal because a part of him knew Brady normally didn't have that kind of strength and as Paul's head whipped back from the force, he heard a loud snapping noise and felt a crushing in his jaw. Paul's eyes began to water as he realized Brady had just hit him and he felt pathetic for feeling hurt knowing all the times he had beat the younger wolf into submission. Regaining his composure, Paul moved his jaw around feeling it broken but in a matter of seconds he felt his healing factor kick in and before he could utter a response his jaw was completely healed. He opened and closed his mouth as he held his jaw, massaging away the last threads of pain that began disappearing as his jaw mended itself but he turned back to Brady with sad eyes and was met with nothing but the younger wolf's eyes that seemed so much darker than before, portraying a mere shell of the boy he loved so much.

Brady glared angrily ay Paul before jumping up from the bed and running out of the room. Panicking and afraid of losing Brady again, Paul jumped up and chased after Brady with all his might as his eyes watered at the thought of being without Brady.

"Brady! Brady please come back here!" Paul called after Beady but it was futile. Brady already had a good head start and ran out through the front door of the house. Chasing after him, Paul ran all the way out to the front yard before he looked around frantically and saw no trace of Brady anywhere in sight.

"Brady! BRAYYYYYYY!" Paul screamed out in a blood curdling cry of agony. He didn't care if the neighbors heard. He didn't care if he screamed his voice out until he was hoarse. He didn't care about any of it. He just wanted Brady back in his house and in his arms. So overwhelmed with emotions, Paul dropped to the ground as he began to curse himself over and over again, shedding tears for what he had done to the boy. He didn't mean to anger Brady but then again he had never seen Brady behave in such a manner. It was if the boy was someone else and that thought scared Paul because he worried that throughout the abuse he had thrown on Brady and finally raping the boy, he wondered did he cause this. Did he finally break Brady to the point where he had changed who he was? Paul was so wracked with worry that he began coughing and sobbing right there in the front yard as he continued to scream for Brady to come back. He now realized that it didn't matter what Sam, the pack, the elders or anyone else thought of him any longer…the only person's opinion he cared for was Brady's and he had to get him back no matter what needed to be done. Picking himself up, Paul raced back into the house to grab his phone and call Sam and the pack to help him track down Brady before it was too late.

* * *

Jacob crept into the house clumsily, not being able to see through the tears that continued to pour from his eyes. He couldn't stop the shakes that rattled his body in the strangely cold night, despite it being midsummer. He had spent the last two hours running through the woods in search of Seth but to no avail. He couldn't understand why but he couldn't even catch Seth's scent no matter where he searched and no matter how hard he focused his senses, it was like…something was soaking up Seth's scent and keeping it from Jacob's nose; not wanting the boy to be found. The whole time Jacob screamed and cried out Seth's name through their shared mental link as wolves, not caring who would hear him. He howled and barked desperately but without any success of finding a trace of Seth. Jacob couldn't shake the images that were flooding his mind as he remembered Seth's desperate pleas of pain and anguish when Jacob hurt him….when he raped and violated him. Jacob put a hand to his mouth trying to keep the sobs from escaping him like vomit but he couldn't help it, remembering the lonely and sad look in Seth's face when he begged Jacob to stop and told him no matter what he did to him, he would always love him.

"_How the fuck could I do this?!"_ this was all that ran through Jacob's mind as he made a beeline for the hall that would lead to his bedroom. He just wanted to throw himself in bed and escape the torment that was crucifying his heart. Over and over the revelation kept sounding in his mind like an echo, refusing to let him forget…the realization that no matter what he did…it never changed anything. He had spent so much time and effort trying to break, destroy and punish Seth…and for what? Jacob thought through it all that if he convinced Seth that he cared nothing for him, that eventually he himself would no longer care for him; as if he could make the illusion become reality. All this time Jacob just wanted to be normal and escape his love and desire for Seth. But when he saw just how far he had taken this…how much he was hurting Seth…it broke him inside. Jacob couldn't understand how he had become this monster….the very monster he had seen in his dreams. And on top of it all, Seth continued to love him and confessed he always would. It was like the floodgates of his heart had been breached and Jacob didn't even know what to do with all of the heartache that was weighing on him unmercifully like gravity.

"How the fuck could…fuck! Seth…..I'm so fucking sorry…." Jacob cried out in frustration as he tried to keep himself steady, fumbling his way down the hall towards his bedroom as exhaustion from his run through the woods racked his body. Before he could make it there the hall light came on. Jacob jerked towards the opposite direction, seeing his father, Billy sitting there in his wheelchair and looking at Jacob with concern.

"Jacob!? My god, you scared me. Why didn't you give me a holler when you came in, I thought it was a break in." Billy said with relief. But when the older man took in his son, worry etched into his middle aged features and he frowned with concern. Jacob stood there, shoulders slump, sweat heavy on his brow and his eyes puffy and wet while his cheeks were soaked in what Billy saw were tears, as if he had been crying for days. Billy wheeled slowly towards his son. He had never seen Jacob so upset, not since Sarah's death and Billy immediately flashed back to how Jacob looked at the funeral. It was almost quite alarming for Billy who was so used to seeing his son standing tall and proud, arrogant and cocky maybe at times but strong and confident….but the Jacob before him reminded him of the little naïve boy he once was and if Billy could still stand, he would step up out of his chair and take his son in his arms, regardless of their age or not.

"Son…Jake…what's wrong?" Billy asked worriedly.

Jacob bit his lip harshly, almost breaking the skin as he tried to keep his face from showing the hell he was going through but he knew it was too late. He knew his father had seen his tears long before Jacob had a chance to wipe them away.

"Uh….nah dad, I'm…I'm alright…just not feeling well." Jacob lied, stuttering and fumbling over his own words as he sniffled, trying to wipe his face dry form the dampness of his tears.

"Son, you don't look well. Where were you? I drove straight home after you left the pack meeting but when I didn't see you here I phoned Sam and some of the boys but no one knew where you were? What's wrong?" Bill asked kindly, trying to urge his son to confide in him but the mere gentleness in his father's normally stern voice broke him. Jacob thought this was all just so unfair. How could his father be so kind to him, after what he had done? But yet, no one had extended such kindness and understanding to Seth, the one blameless person in all of this. Jacob turned from his father as the image of Seth crying came back to him, the last image of Seth running out…broken and hurt and crying out for someone to understand him…to love him..Jacob turned from his father and broke down in the hall, trying to keep it all in but he couldn't as his shoulders began to quake with the raw sobs that were erupting from his heart.

"My god…Jacob…Jacob please, what's going on. You're worrying me, son….." Billy said as he wheeled closer to his son but Jacob just weakly hit his fist against the wall.

"I said I'm fine damn it." Jacob tried to shout but it was strangled and unconvincing. He sounded like a mere child trying to find some semblance of strength and anger to push his father away but Jacob then looked at his father….this was how it began. All this time, Jacob had tried using harshness as a way to show strength and used that to push those he loved out of his heart. Seth unfortunately had been the one on the receiving end of that anger and coldness. But this was Jacob's father; Jacob didn't want to push Billy away. He needed his father now more than ever.

By this time, Billy had become so worried and scared by the scene of his son so distressed that it was affecting him deeply as well. He wanted to know what had Jacob so distraught but more than anything he wanted to be there for his son. He knew his son was a very stubborn and proud individual who didn't like to show weakness. That, unfortunately was a trait shared by many boys raised on the reservation who grew up being taught what it meant to be a man. But at times like this, Billy himself even hated the familial and tribal upbringing because it kept the very men that were supposed to be protectors, from coming to others in times of need when they needed to be protected. All Billy wanted was his child to confide in him, to know that he could talk to him.

"Jake….you know…you know, you can talk to me. I know I don't have any claims to being the greatest father. I know haven't always been here like I should have for you and the girls, but you can talk to me." Billy said, his voice now shaky as well.

"Don't be so damn hard on yourself dad. After mom died, you did the best you could with the three of us." Jacob encouraged his dad through his tears as he slumped against the wall and to the floor, holding himself as his father wheeled up next to him.

"That doesn't excuse the mistakes I've made in the past, believe me. When you get my age….all you're left with are the regrets and things you wish you had done better. I…I don't want that to happen to you Jake…so…if there's something wrong, if you need to talk…I'm here Jake..Please son…I need you to talk to me." Billy pleaded, placing a gentle hand on Jacob's shoulder. "Is this about….what happened at the party…is this about what we were arguing about earlier?"

Jacob removed his hands from his face and looked at his father desperately, wondering if Billy could handle what he wanted to say.

"Dad, can I ask you something?" Jacob said in a childlike manner that, despite his deep and rough voice still touched Billy and reminded him of a younger Jacob.

"Of course Jake, anything." Billy assured him.

"Do I…..do I make you proud?" Jacob asked. Jacob knew the question might have seemed obtuse in its delivery and given the situation he was sure his father had no clue what he was getting at but he wanted to know if his father was proud of him and if so, then why. Jacob couldn't be proud of himself. Sure he took on the helm of the alpha of the pack and leader of his people but he didn't feel proud of himself…not with how he treated Seth, the love of his life, the one thing in the world that meant all the world to him.

"Son, what do you mean? You know better than to ask me something as stupid as that." Billy replied with an aged and knowing smile. Jacob looked at his father with confusion and became almost frustrated.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I need to know….do I fucking make you proud! With everything I've done….with the war three years ago, the vampires, taking over the pack…leading our people….training the next generation of new wolves that continue to shift everyday…is all of that justified…is that enough to make you proud of me….look at me! I'm just me! I'm nothing special!" Jacob cried as he dropped his head in his hands again, fresh tears spilling from his eyes.

"Jake! Don't you know by now? You make me proud….every fucking day." Billy said as a few tears came from his own eyes. The way they were positioned, Jacob sitting on the floor, slumped against the wall and Billy sitting in his chair made the father taller in this instance and for once in so many years Jacob felt like he was a child again and he could go to his father in his time of need. Jacob sobbed uncontrollably as he wailed his hear out, slumping himself forward on Billy, resting his head on Billy's lap. The action was so shocking for Billy that he almost jumped. It had been so many years since he had hugged his son like this. But Billy was relieved to know his son loved him so much that he still felt they could show their feelings to each other in such a way. This made him more proud than anything and he began to cry with his son, reaching his arms around Jacob and pulling him closer, holding his son as Jacob cried into his lap.

"My god…Jake, you haven't hugged me in years." Billy smiled through his own tears.

"Dad….I'm so fucking sorry…I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry that it hurts. I can't stop this….I can't stop hurting like this….. I'm so god damn SORRY!" Jacob screamed through his weeping. Billy cried harder with him as he rubbed comforting circles on Jacob's back, urging his son to come forward and tell him what was wrong.

"Jake what are you sorry for? You've never done anything wrong. I know I'm just a stupid old drunkard who didn't always do the best I could do when you guys were growing up…but I love you Jake, you're my son…and I'll always be there for you….I'm always here….just tell me , what's wrong son?" Billy begged.

"Dad….dad I did something really horrible…I've done something really fucking…fucking terrible….dad look at me! I'm a fucking monster…look what I did to him?!" Jacob shouted.

"Jake what are you talking about?! You haven't done anything!" Billy replied with shock.

"YES I HAVE! I've hurt him so much…dad I've been fucking killing him…every fucking day…he did nothing to no one…all he did was love me and I…oh dad…what the fuck have I done?! How the fuck can you be proud me?!" Jacob wept as he hit his hands against his head, as if punishing himself. Billy grabbed at his sons arms, trying to make his son stop as he tried to soothe Jacob and calm him. But Jacob's words finally sunk into Billy's understanding and he knew almost immediately who Jacob was referring to.

"You mean…Jake are you talking about Seth?" Billy asked cautiously not knowing for sure but not wanting to upset Jacob any further.

"Yes…" Jacob said pathetically as he fell into a wave of hysterics, crying endlessly as Billy held him together. Billy's eyebrows furrowed in deep thought and concern, wondering what about Seth could have upset his son so much. He knew Jacob had been having issues with Seth following the latter's revelation to Jacob and the whole pack but he was thoroughly confused at the moment. He had thought his son had cut all ties with Seth and for good reason. To Billy, he had had heard that Seth had crossed the line and tried coming onto his son, something which didn't gain any sympathy from Billy as he was raised on the traditions between what was right and what was wrong and not only being gay, but also breaking the trust of one's friend and forcing themselves on another was unforgivable. But then again, Billy hadn't been too keen on Seth's expulsion from the pack. He willingly agreed to it along with the other elders, but when they heard from the pack how Seth had taken it, he knew too well that wolves couldn't survive without a pack and a family and he was uncertain if they did the right thing. He wanted to protect his son and hearing how Seth had tried to force himself on Jacob angered Billy, especially since he had looked at Seth as a second son. But Billy also wondered if the cruelty he had seen Jacob express to Seth that morning he watched them on the porch was really necessary. Billy wondered if there was already something deeply effecting Jacob beyond just feeling disgusted and betrayed by Seth's coming out. But it began to sink into Billy as he looked at his son…he didn't want to think on it…he most certainly didn't want to voice it…but he wondered…

"But…Jake I thought you said Seth betrayed you…that he…that he tried coming on to you….that he tried touching you and….." Billy attempted to offer comfort but this sent Jacob even further into his hysterics.

"NO! He didn't! He tried to hug me….he tried to reach out to me! Seth would never betray me like that dad! I….." Jacob sobbed as he looked up to Billy from his crouched position and was scared to see the confusion and disappointment in his father's eyes.

"It's my fault…I…it all got out of hand…Seth only loved me…he only told me he loved me…and I fucking hurt him….I fed him to the wolves dad…..dad….Quil and Elijah were fucking right…this was all my fault….I let you and everyone believe that he betrayed me by coming on to me…but he didn't! Seth…my god Seth didn't…he….it wasn't betrayal…it was courage….he was fucking brave enough to tell me how he felt even knowing what a bastard I am and how I would react…..dad how can I be proud of myself!? How can you fucking be proud of me?!" Jacob shouted in sadness.

Billy pulled his son back enough to look at him. Billy was almost certain now of what he had thought. A sense of dread filled him and he didn't want to think of the prospect. This was wrong. Being a homosexual was wrong…Billy had been taught that…they all had and he had no qualms about throwing his disapproval on Seth when he had heard o f what the young wolf had done but…seeing his son so broken and defeated and sensing that maybe all this time Jacob had been so cruel to the younger wolf because a part of him felt something…something Billy couldn't comprehend. It all began to make sense and Billy couldn't…..he just couldn't see how he could hold that against his son and he felt like a hypocrite. He had chastised and thrown Seth out and left him to his son's wrath for being gay…..but seeing his son like this….Billy would never want this for his children. Not ever. But he couldn't sit here and judge his son and think of him as wrong. He couldn't see how Jacob would choose this. In this unfair and prejudiced world, nobody would choose this; that was for certain. Was it also that way for Seth?

"Jacob…what are you saying?" Billy asked nervously, not experienced enough to know how to deal with this type of situation.

"Daddy….I…..I fucking…I'm a fucking fag dad….and I love him….I fucking love him dad…and look what I did to him….I lied to make you all hate him and push him away…..how the fuck could I do that dad?! How the fuck can you be proud of me?! How the fuck can you love me?! HOW THE FUCK CAN HE STILL LOVE ME?!" Jacob admitted and it was like a great wall had crumbled inside him. He couldn't look at his father. He couldn't wait around long enough to see the disappointment in his eyes. Jacob pulled himself from his father and stood, attempting to leave. He needed to be alone. He needed to be in a place where he could just let loose and fall to his knees without judging eyes around him.

"Please Jake! Stay! Let's talk about this!" Billy cried as he tried grabbing at his son's wrist, begging him to stay.

"I'm sorry dad…..I need to be alone." Jacob confessed with sorrow croaking through his voice as he turned away from his father and ran out of the house.

Billy sat there in his wheelchair, leaning forward to rest his head on his knees as he grabbed at his long hair and wept in a way that only a full grown man would behind closed doors. But he didn't care in the slightest. Not when his son was at stake. He didn't want to lose his son and he didn't want his son to push him away for fear of being rejected. He couldn't handle that. He was happy to have Rachel back in his life but he knew she wouldn't stay and with Rebecca still gone at college, Jacob was all Billy had left and he kept asking himself over and over… _"Could I be okay with having a gay son?"_ Billy wanted to chastise his son but he couldn't. Not when he saw what his son had become and what it brought him to. He had never seen Jacob so torn and to learn that Jacob's own torment had caused him to hurt someone else, someone Billy had thought was in the wrong. Billy didn't know what to do. All he wanted was his son to know that he was here for him and would always love him and be proud of him no matter what.

Outside, Jacob ran from the house to their backyard, running to his safe haven, his garage. He didn't know why he hadn't come here first. It would have saved him the heartache of facing his father and the reality began to hit that he had just came out to his father and he couldn't take it back. Jacob wasn't ready to face this but he didn't have a choice and honestly he didn't even care anymore. It was what he deserved anyway. _" It's not like I gave Seth a fucking choice when I hurt him over and over." _Jacob spat to himself. The guilt was eating him alive and Jacob didn't know how to escape it. He wanted to turn back the hands of time and take back what he did and looking back, he couldn't even understand his own rationale at the things he had done. He knew why he had done those things, but that didn't make them right and it didn't justify his actions whatsoever. Jacob just wanted to find Seth and beg for his forgiveness but now he wasn't even sure if he would ever see the younger wolf again. What if Seth had finally given up? "_What if I pushed him away for the last time?" _Jacob cried. He opened the old rickety door of his garage and turned the lights. He remembered how excited he was as a kid when his father had finally let him have free range over the old shack house in their backyard. As a kid, Jacob had dreamt of turning it into his private garage and even though he and the pack had their own official mechanic garage in town, he still looked at this garage as his own place at times. Making his way into the garage, he walked over to the old couch that he had set up in the corner. It was the very couch that Seth had helped him find at an old dump and helped him drag it back to his house before either one of them drive. Jacob fell onto the couch and sobbed into his arms as he curled himself into a tight ball. He wanted Seth so badly, he loved him so much it was like a burning thirst in his body and soul but he felt undeserving as he dwelled on all he had done to the boy. He needed to see those large soulful eyes that looked at him with love no matter how many times Jacob had tried to beat that love out of the younger man. Jacob couldn't take this any longer.

Reaching down underneath the old couch, Jacob pulled out an old worn out shoe box that he had kept some of his most cherished belongings. He was now grateful he had come to the garage rather than his own bedroom. He realized now he couldn't even stand being in that filthy room, having been tainted with the disgusting sex he and Bella had shared in his bed, all in an effort to either hurt Seth or make him forget how much he loved Seth. Jacob sniffled as he looked back now and saw just how hurtful it must have been for Seth to endure watching Jacob flaunt Bella and other girls in front of him the way he had. In all his years, he had never even seen Seth around anyone else besides the pack and their mutual friends. Jacob didn't know how he would feel if he had seen Seth wrapped in the arms of another but he knew now it probably would have forced him to face his demons much sooner. "_How the hell could I do that?….How the hell could I fuck her in my bed…in the bed Seth and I shared so many times as kids?!"_ Jacob cursed himself. He knew it was absurd to think of his own bed as his and Seth's bed, but thinking back on their sleepovers as kids, how they always slept together and held each other, in his heart it was where his most intimate and precious memories of Seth laid. Jacob couldn't help but smile to himself knowing Seth would never initiate the contact being far too formal and shy. It was always Jacob who reached out to the boy, pulling him into his arms as they slept and thinking back, Jacob saw those moments were the happiest of his life. How could he taint his bed, his bedroom with the sickening time he had spent with Bella? He knew he didn't love her. At one point he thought he did, he thought he could love her and replace Seth with her instead…but no matter what he did, he could never make anyone fill the space in his heart that belonged only to Seth. Now, he couldn't even see why he would have wanted to in the first place. All he wanted was Seth alone.

Opening the old shoe box, Jacob rummaged around at its contents, filled with trinkets and memoirs that meant the world to him. He pulled out the broken dream catcher necklace he had given Seth as a belated birthday gift and he wept at the memories.

"How the hell did I do that to him?!" Jacob asked himself as he held it gently in his large hands, thinking back on how he had snatched it from Seth's very neck and destroyed it in his face, along with any hope that they could even still be friends. He brought the broken necklace up this lips, kissing the cool broken jewelry as if kissing a memory and keeping it safe as he cried. Jacob looked back in the box and searched for other things, small Ziploc bags contained memories such as two pair of teeth. Jacob remembered it from when they were children. Jacob and Seth both had a loose baby tooth that had miraculously fallen out on the same day. His mother was still alive back then and she had explained that it was because they were both so close that they would both lose and gain things in life together. They decided to keep the teeth and not offer them to the tooth fairy but woke the next morning to find gifts at the foot of their bed anyway. That weekend they both learned the tooth fairy was Jacob's mother, Sarah. Rummaging around Jacob found an old scratched up CD that had messy handwriting with a sharpie on its face. Jacob smiled to himself remembering the time Seth couldn't afford a birthday present for him so he made him a mixed CD of all their favorite songs growing up. Jacob had not listened to it in years and a thought occurred to him.

Standing up, Jacob made his way over to the stereo player that sat on one of the tool tables. Jacob popped the disc in and when the first song began playing, he cried again at the memories that seemed to envelope him from within. This particular song was their favorite growing up and Jacob remembered Seth would always try to sing it on Billy's old rusty guitar. It brought a new wave of emotions to Jacob as he recalled feeling so loved, wanted and accepted by the only person in the world who knew him better than he even knew himself at times. For years Seth had always been there as a friend, no matter what Jacob was going through Seth was there…and it killed him how Seth had never even asked for anything in return. Seth never once even complained when Jacob would ignore him or blow him off at times to spend time with Bella or his other friends as he grew older. As the song's lyrics echoed into his ears, Jacob laid back out on the couch with the shoe box, continuing to rummage through his memories. It was like he could feel Seth surrounding him and it broke Jacob down more and more to see just what he had done and what he knew he had forever lost. Jacob found a couple of old photographs and he sat up to look at the first. It was a group photo, probably taken by one of the parents or tribal elders. It was like looking at another life. It was long before the appearance of wolves and vampires, long before the burden of the supernatural life had settled upon La Push like a heavy thunder cloud. From the looks of it, Jacob surmised it must have been when he was around thirteen, just about to enter high school. At that time, he had started getting a lot of grief from the other boys for always hanging around Seth so much and he recalled that was when the gay jokes about their friendship had begun. He cursed himself at recalling that was when he began to spend less time with Seth, purposely blowing off the younger boy in favor of spending time with the other boys and experiencing his first taste of the willing neighborhood girls. The picture illustrated Sam and Leah in the center, wrapped around each other looking happy before they were torn apart by Sam's imprint on Emily. Jared, Paul, Quil and Embry and Jacob surrounded them acting goofy and being silly and some others were there as well…Rachel clinging to Paul, Kim smiling beside Rachel and Claire, along with some other kids they had gone to school with and some of the younger boys who would also eventually grow up to become shape shifters of the tribe. And then, off to the side was Seth…smiling sadly, shyly glancing at the camera…like he knew he didn't belong there.

"Seth….." Jacob whispered as he caressed Seth's image on the photograph with his thumb, almost as if he could wipe away the tears from the face of the past Seth that was forever immortalized in the picture. Jacob saw how lonely and just cast aside Seth looked. Had he done that? Had it all started that early in their childhood? Tears spilled from his eyes as he looked at the picture and saw just how long he had abandoned Seth. All this time he and the pack and the tribe had called Seth selfish for coming out when really Jacob saw that he himself was the real selfish one. Jacob used Seth for his friendship and kindness but cast him aside whenever it was convenient, and for what? The pack and their opinions? The tribe's expectations? Bella? None of them meant a damn thing to Jacob. And Jacob couldn't understand through it all, how Seth could still love him so unconditionally. Jacob pulled the picture to his chest, holding it as the song playing on the stereo began to replay as he had put the settings on repeat. But to his surprise, another picture fell from the box. Jacob looked down, surprised to see what could have fallen from the box. As he picked up the picture, he melted at seeing an even older photograph from their childhood. It was of Jacob and Seth when they were merely ten and seven years old. Jacob was hugging Seth from behind and smiling happily with an equally joyful Seth while they were sitting at the end of a slide on some old playground. It was so genuine as it reminded Jacob of what their relationship had truly meant to him all these years.

"Damn…we were so happy back then." Jacob whispered to himself. Wondering if there was a date on it, Jacob turned the picture over to see a handwritten message in the most beautiful cursive script.

_I love you both so very much. Please stay this way always. You two need each other._

_~ with love, mom_

"Mom?" Jacob questioned, discovering she had taken the picture. Thinking back, he remembered how happy she always was whenever Seth came over to spend the night or whenever they would have a play date together. But Jacob couldn't help looking at his mother's words. They seemed so simple but they felt like something more. And a part of him wondered…did she know? Jacob knew he had always loved Seth since he could remember, since their parents had first introduced them. He recalled how shy Seth was and how he was initially scared of Jacob's brash and bold personality as a child. Jacob was instantly taken with the younger boy and felt this need to always be around him and protect him. He couldn't half understand it himself but looking at this photograph…he wondered…did his mother understand?

Jacob lost himself in memories and regrets, crying until he couldn't shed anymore tears as he stared at that picture. And just when he thought he couldn't another memory would overcome him and he would break down all over again as new tears replaced old ones He hugged himself as if his body would crumble without Seth near but he knew that was an impossibility. All his life, all he wanted was to be accepted and loved…to be normal like all the other boys. But in trying to cover up his own feelings and desires, he had succeeded in destroying someone who loved him no matter what. He had pushed away and abused the one person he wanted nothing more than to give his heart too. He could clearly see now that this tragedy was something he had caused. He had built this cross, and now he would have to bear it. . But something inside was telling him not to give up and keep going, not for him, but for Seth. He loved Seth more than anything. And now he wasn't afraid to admit that to himself...to anyone. Standing up from his place on the couch, Jacob stretched himself out and wiped a hand over his weary face. He didn't bother with his tears. He knew they would continue to fall regardless of what he did. But the void inside him was threatening to swallow him whole and he didn't care what it took, he had to find Seth. He knew Seth would hate him, he knew Seth would curse him and he knew he could never be forgiven…but none of that mattered. Jacob knew he deserved every bit of punishment he was handed. But he had to find Seth and at least tell him he was sorry and that he always would love him. Ripping off his shirt as he stormed out of his garage, Jacob ran back out into the night to continue his search for Seth. As he exploded into his wolf form and raced into the never ending forest of La Push, he prayed to his ancestors and whatever God was above to give him one more chance to make amends. He prayed to have one chance at least to undo the tragedy he had brought on himself, Seth and all of La Push.

* * *

Seth tripped and stumbled through the bramble of the dark forest he was now lost in. He had long forgotten how many hours he had been lost, figuring it had to at least be one or two in the morning. He originally ran away to escape Jacob, the pack and La Push….but in doing so he had become so lost in the unending stretch of woods that he didn't even know where he was or where he was going. By now, the pain that racked his body was demanding him to stop and slow down but at this rate he didn't really see a point. He clung to himself tightly, arms pulled around his body to protect him from the uncanny chilling wind that had settled upon the region even in the midst of summer. His mind and heart was consumed by only thing. Jacob. Seth couldn't shake the image of Jacob's rage, his anger, his confusion, his frustration…and ultimately...his sadness and despair. Seth knew what it felt like. He had been in that place before. It was the loneliest feeling one could ever experience. But Seth had come to the realization long ago that the broken dreams of love and acceptance would never come to fruition. He knew that his love for Jacob would never be returned no matter how much he wished and prayed, he would never be able to escape that sadness. The sadness that no matter what he did he would never be able to let go of his love for Jacob, a love that was slowly eating him inside out, a love that was destroying everything he held dear.

Seth cried like a piece in him had been broken. He wept for the past that he knew he could never get back with his former friend but he also wept for himself. He just felt like this unending whole in his heart would swallow him whole any moment and all he wanted was to disappear. It was too much for him to bear. He couldn't stand it any longer. Jacob's feelings towards him, the pack's opinions of him and the elder's decision to exile him from the pack…even his own mother wanted nothing to do with him. Seth sobbed as he tried to make his way through the unending forest that seemed to stretch on forever as his thoughts ruminated on the vision of Jacob's eyes on him…showing him so much hate, disgust, anger and regrets.

As Seth continued to walk through the unending stretch of woods, he had become so focused on just getting away that he no longer knew where he was. He just couldn't erase the memories of what had just happened. How could Jacob hurt him like this? "_Does he hate me that much?"_ Seth continued to ask himself as he sobbed, trying his best to see through the darkness as he searched and searched for a way out of the forest. He originally ran into the shelter of the woods to escape Jacob and get away. But in this maze of sorrow he no longer cared if he was ever found again. What hurt Seth more was feeling like he had caused all of this. "If only I had kept my damn mouth shut…if I had just kept my feelings to myself…none of this ever would have happened?" Seth whispered aloud through his tears. Seth just couldn't understand what he ever did to deserve to be so hurt and broken like Jacob and the pack had left him. They tore everything away from him; his love, his dignity, his place and identity in the pack and in their lives. "Even my own damn mother hates me!" Seth cried as he tripped on a branch that was uprooted but unseen on the ground. As Seth hit the ground he broke down even more and cried in the dirt, not caring that his elbows were probably scratched and bleeding from the rocks he had fallen on. The physical pain was nothing compared to the void that Jacob and the pack had created in his heart. All he ever wanted was to be loved and accepted by them…by his pack brothers. He would have given anything for Sam to treat him like a brother, for Paul to just smile at him, for Quil to see him as an equal and not some freak….and he would give his life for Jacob to just forgive him and say they could be friends again. At this point, Seth didn't even care if Jacob never loved him…he just wanted his friend back….but all he got was exile, countless slaps and kicks to the face, a beating from the man he loved more than anyone else and being molested and raped.

"This is all my fault!" Seth screamed out in anger as he pounded his fists on the ground, sobbing uncontrollably. He laid there for awhile as he let his heart flood out the excruciating pain in his chest. He thought about Jacob, the pack, and his friends…Embry, Collin and Leah…they were all he had left. But he began to wonder if anyone of them really needed him around anymore. He felt he had brought this misery and turmoil on La Push and its people.

"_If it hadn't been for what I did…Jacob would be happy right now. They all would be…" _Seth thought to himself. Everyone would be joyously celebrating Sam and Emily's wedding, Jacob might have been with Bella by his point in time, the whole tribe wouldn't currently be gossiping about him…..Seth couldn't help the swarm of thoughts that flooded his mind at the realization that the pack, the whole tribe might have been happier without him and he wanted to free them from that…he wanted to free Jacob from this. Seth picked himself up and began stumbling his way again through the forest. He knew where he was going….a place he had been before although because of the darkness of the night he couldn't tell how he was getting there but something told him he was close. It was as if something in his heart was leading him to that all too familiar place.

As Seth continued, his determination fueled by his sorrow built up and he ran for all his worth to a place he knew he belonged…the only place in this world where he knew he belonged. He cared not for the vengeful tree branches that seemed determined to snap at his face and arms, scratching him mercilessly as he forced his way through their depths to get to the place that felt so familiar to him. His legs grew tired and began to ache the farther he traveled up the slopes of the mountain top to the highest peaks of La Push. He knew by this point he was probably on the furthest edge of the Washington state line as the lands probably began to stretch up into Canada. But the few times Seth had been here…once when he had gotten lost and came into contact with the beast from his nightmare and when he had gotten lost after the pack exiled him…those few times he always felt like this place was almost a part of another world altogether. As he pushed his way past several more miles of trees and climbed his way up he finally came to it…the Cliffside clearing.

Seth looked round, seeing the clearing illuminated by the bright full moon above that Seth hadn't noticed until now as the night clouds parted to bring an eerie light to the location. It was surrounded by a mysterious fog that had settled on the mountain top. The clearing was void of trees but was surrounded on all sides by the endless stretch of forest that Seth had just journeyed through. However on one side was a cave opening that seemed as high as Seth could see. Only darkness emanated from the cave entrance and something in Seth's heart was crying for him to not enter it. But Seth didn't care. He wanted his suffering to end…he wanted his people's suffering to end…all because he existed, but maybe he could free them from this….this curse...the burden of his existence. Seth approached the cave opening and studied its interior which was void and seemed to go on for miles within. Stepping inside, he was engulfed by shadows and he cringed at the chilling wind that seemed to creep through the air like a haunting entity. He couldn't see anything through the pitch blackness that surrounded him as he ventured further into the cave. He was still only wearing his jeans and a simple t shirt that he had managed to hold onto through his violent encounter with Jacob. He held a hand up against the cave walls as to guide his way by touch but it was almost near impossible to get through.

The cave stretched on forever it seemed. The entrance he had come though was far gone and no moonlight was present to light his way as he forced himself to brave the cave interior. Every now and then he would hit himself by accidently walking into stalagmite like formations and boulders that lined the cave. There was a slight stench in the air that his wolf senses were picking up on but Seth tried to ignore it. It was strong….bitter and metallic. There also a dampness in the air and Seth could sense there was probably water coming through the cave, possibly running through one of the walls even but he didn't know how that was possible as this cave and the forest clearing beside were at the very peak of the mountain top…unless the cave had a back entrance.

Just as Seth had thought of it, there was a light that came into view. It was the same pale light he had seen in the clearing. It was the moon. After falling several more times, Seth finally got to a back opening. It wasn't as large as the cave opening on the other side. It was almost the size of two double doors and Seth was caught with a gust of cold wind. As he ventured through the opening relief seemed to overtake him. He couldn't ignore the fear he had felt while in the cave, like something malevolent was there...but more horrifying, something wanted him there. But Seth's relief was short lived as he finally halted from walking through the cave opening which was an abrupt dead end. No more than two steps out of the cave was a deadly drop off on the cliff side. Seth looked down to see the cliff going further down than he thought was possible. It was much higher up than he initially thought. Below he saw the outline of jagged boulders and the imposing crashing waters of the Pacific Ocean below.

"This cliff must be right on the edge of the country border." Seth said aloud. The rocky ground he stood upon was slippery with moss and Seth knew that with one wrong move he could fall to his demise at any moment. But was that so bad? Seth remembered, wasn't that why he came out here in the first place, to put an end to his suffering and everyone else's?

"What is this place?" Seth asked himself aloud. It all felt so familiar but yet so cold and alien all at the same time. But he heard a shuffling behind him that startled him so much that he jumped. Turning around he came face to face with…Brady.

"OH MY GOD!" Seth almost hollered, his heart beating a mile a minute. "Oh God...Brady...Brady...my God….you…you scared the shit out of me." Seth whispered as he tried to calm himself down.

"Just wait." Brady simply said with a small smile on his lips. Seth looked at Brady with confusion and then he became all too aware that Brady was here with him on the Cliffside drop off, a place neither of them should be. What on earth was the boy doing out here? Looking at Brady in the moonlight, Seth could see Brady wearing a simple shirt with jeans and he was barefoot. Something didn't seem right but Seth didn't know how to voice his concerns. He seemed normal enough but there was an eerie calmness about the younger wolf that Seth couldn't place.

"Brady…um…what…what on earth are you doing all the way out here? How did you get out here?" Seth asked, perplexed. Brady simply shrugged as he flicked a strand of hair that had fallen in his face.

"Same as you. I guess you could say that I….decided to come back home." Brady simply replied. Seth was confused by the response and given the situation he was currently in he wasn't sure if he had the mental strength enough to progress further. There was a certain manner in Brady's actions and gestures that just didn't seem like the younger boy at all but Seth decided to keep those thoughts to himself as he noticed that all this time he had still be crying and his cheeks were still damp with the tears he had been shedding all night.

"What's the matter Seth? You've been crying?" Brady inquired with what sounded to Seth like mocking concern.

"Oh no...I'm…I'm fine. I just slipped earlier. Um…some water must have gotten on my face." Seth lied as he tried wiping away the moisture on his checks profusely.

"Oh really?" Brady asked knowingly as he gave Seth a strange stare. "So then, what brought you all the way up here? Taking in the sights? From such a dangerous place?"

"Um…well…I don't know…I'm not sure really. I was just...walking around, you know…just thinking, you know." Seth lied. He cared for Brady; as much as he could, given that they had never gotten the opportunity to really know each other. But he wasn't sure he was really able to divulge what he was actually doing there or how he got there. In addition, Seth knew Brady knew all about what had happened between him and Jacob seeing as how Brady was in the pack and lived with Paul, Seth wasn't sure how Brady felt about him. Seth recalled only seeing Brady briefly before he took off with the other wolves on the night that the pack had attacked and exiled him. But he didn't want to say anything incriminating that might give Brady a reason to taunt him like the others have. And there was still the burning question of how Brady got all the way up here alone? _"Did he follow me or something?"_

"Just thinking huh? So, you just wanted some time to yourself? Brady asked curiously as he stepped closer to Seth.

"Um...I guess you could say that." Seth answered nervously.

"I guess that would make sense. Being exiled from the pack and having been outed as the tribe faggot and all….you probably need a lot of time to yourself don't you?" Brady said with concern. Seth stopped dead as he listened to Brady's words. How could he say something so hurtful in such a nonchalant manner? Seth dropped his head low to avoid Brady's gaze, not wanting to see the same hatred and disgust he had seen on the faces of his former pack mates.

"B...Brady…what…what do you mean?" Seth asked, tears welling up in his eyes at the reminder of what the pack, the elders and the whole tribe must have thought of him.

"Seth, don't be so naïve. I don't blame you. I mean, if everyone I knew…my friends, family and the whole town wanted me dead I would probably jump off the cliff too." Brady simply stated as if his words were nothing. Seth felt a bit shaken at what the younger wolf was saying to him. _"How did he know I was going to…?" _Seth wondered. He shook his head in disagreement, not wanting Brady to know the truth but he couldn't help wonder how did he suspect. But what hurt more was the confirmation he received from what Brady had said about the whole tribe…the people of La Push that had never understood him, that never gave him chance…did they really think he was nothing, just as Brady had hinted.

"Does…does everyone really think that?" Seth stuttered, trying to hold in his tears. Brady smiled slyly at him, his eyes seeming even darker in the shadows of the night, cast by the eerie moon that hung high above the sky.

"Of course they do." Brady chuckled. He gave Seth a sympathetic stare before walking closer, placing a comforting hand on Seth's shoulder. "Seth, you should hear the way people talk about you in the streets…your own people….the fucking Quileute…..they hate you. They've all heard from the Elders and the pack what kind of abomination you are. You know what the kids from our school are calling you? I heard they're calling you the rez cunt. And the pack well….I think you know more than I do how they feel about you." Brady said with a sigh.

The confirmation of what he already knew made fresh tears well up in Seth's eyes as he started to shake with the onset of the sobs that threatened to erupt form his throat like bile. He couldn't stand the thought of being hated so much. He couldn't take this any longer. All he ever wanted was love...acceptance...kindness from them...from Jacob.

"I know…." Seth began to cry. "I know….I just never thought it would ever come to this, you know? None of this was ever supposed to happen. I just wanted to tell him how I felt. That's all…but I was wrong...I was selfish...I never should have done that." Seth cried. Brady began patting him gently on the back to soothe him.

"Now don't go blaming yourself Seth. After all, how were you to know that he would turn his back on you? You, Seth Clearwater, who out of the entire pack…almost the entire tribe has one of the most purest and unselfish hearts. You, who constantly puts other people's needs before your own….. All your miserable life you've been there for that bastard while he flaunted his love affair with that Swan bitch right in front of you! You….who let him use and abuse you for his own selfish need for a friend and for what? So he can just cast you aside like that?!" Brady questioned, his tone becoming almost venomous. Seth kept crying as Brady draped a comforting arm around him, even though Brady himself was an inch or two shorter than Seth himself.

"You know…I keep going over and over in my head what I did to deserve everything he and the pack did to me. Am I so horrible…am I so fucking…unlovable that they have to hurt me like this? Am I that expendable?" Seth asked aloud through his tears. Brady shushed Seth soothingly as he looked over the cliff edge they were standing at. He sighed wistfully to himself.

"You know Seth, maybe….maybe this is the only option for you." Brady said, looking from Seth towards the cliff edge. Seth caught onto what he meant and stepped closer to the edge to look over it.

"Maybe. I don't know anymore…I just want this pain to go away." Seth replied.

"Look at it. It's so beautiful isn't it?" Brady spoke in a gentle tone as he looked from Seth to the bottomless pit that waited over the cliff edge. "It's amazing really. Complete silence waits at the bottom…complete darkness when your eyes close for the final time…and then…absolute freedom. And you know what they say. Love…love is just weakness. But freedom…freedom is power." Brady relished.

Seth looked at Brady with uncertainty, as fear eased into the atmosphere. The still wind that hovered over the mountain top began to chill to the point where Seth wanted to shiver and hold himself, just to remain warm. He found it alarming that his enhanced body heat given from his wolf side did nothing to protect him against the silent chill that enveloped him. But what made goose bumps travel down his spine was Brady's words and how he spoke them. He had never seen Brady like this, behaving in a manner that was just so out of place for the younger wolf. It was almost cruel and calculating

"This is what it comes down to, isn't it Seth?" Brady continued as he took hold of Seth's hand in his own.

"What do you mean?" Seth asked nervously.

"You want to free yourself don't you? I know you do." Brady pleaded empathically. Seth whimpered at the thought. He came here for that very reason. He wanted to end it. He wanted to free Jacob from him, he wanted to free the pack from him…he wanted to free himself from the misery and pain of the heartache he felt burning within his heart and soul like a furnace out of hell.

"Brady….do you think that…do you think I deserve this? I never wanted any of this to happen. I never wanted to hurt Jacob, the pack and the tribe…I just thought that if I could tell him…if he knew…" Seth began as tears flooded his eyes. He tried to bite his tongue, not wanting to go on and not wanting to show this vulnerable side of himself to Brady but he couldn't hold the turmoil in.

"You can't blame yourself Seth. I know…I know how much it hurts. It's like he took a piece of glass and stabbed you in your heart and dragged it through your innards until you had nothing left to bleed. It's his fault. He should die for what he did to you. They all should….." Brady spoke in a cold manner. Seth was so wrapped up in his own emotions that he couldn't even register the venom that the younger man spoke with. All he wanted was his best friend back. Was that too much to ask? Maybe he did deserve this fate.

"Jacob…I'm just…I'm so sorry…I'm sorry I put you through all this shit….it's all my damn fault. I never meant to cause all of this." Seth wept as he held his head in his hands, screaming silently and trying to force the emotions to purge from his body but he couldn't. No matter what he did, he couldn't erase the memory of Jacob's anger and hate filled eyes as he beat Seth over and over on that bathroom floor.

"Don't you dare blame yourself!" Brady spat. "You don't need their forgiveness. What you need is vengeance. They should be killed for what they did to you!"

Seth looked up from his hands as he turned to Brady, almost terrified at what the younger man had said.

"Brady…how can you say something like that….…I can't….I could never wish that on them because I still love them….I still love him. No matter how hard I try to be normal and stop loving him I can't. I probably never will stop" Seth explained through his cries.

"My God Seth will you grow a pair and wake the fuck up! How the hell can you love him? He practically fucked that little swan cunt right in front of you all these years. He threw up in your face how insignificant you were to him with his betrayal. He turned the whole pack, the whole fucking tribe against you. Made them hate you! They wish you had died! Your own father died to get away from you! And your whore of a mother can't even sleep at home for a solid week. She can't stand the sight of you, so she lies down in the Sheriff's bed like the whore she is!" Brady swore as he began to shout hysterically, moving threateningly closer to Seth and screaming accusingly. It only reminded Seth of what he knew but he couldn't help wonder why Brady was treating him like this.

"Please stop…no more…." Seth begged Brady, backing away from his accusations. He didn't want to give into what Brady was saying but a small part of him wanted to get revenge. A little piece of darkness in his heart made him think he didn't deserve what the others had done to him. He wanted them to feel what he felt, and this scared Seth too death.

"Seth, you know I'm right. And still…you love them? You fucking love them? Those sick fuckers…you fucking love them?!" Brady shouted.

Seth faltered. He didn't want to feel like that. He didn't want to prove Brady's claims to be true. He felt so broken inside but another part of him wanted someone else to feel that pain too. But he couldn't give into that, could he? He wanted nothing more than to be loved and accepted by Jacob and the pack….but how could he even move forward when they had done their best to beat him down, torture him and kick him out like some worthless dog.

"I want to forgive them for what they did to me….and I wish they could forgive me too, for everything I've put them through.….I should never have come out and told Jacob my feelings. But how do I get rid of this pain? I can feel something pulling me closer to Jake…but every time I see his eyes in my nightmares, I feel him killing me all over again. All I ever wanted was for him to love me…even if it's just as a friend…that's all I ever wanted. I know he's straight and would never see me as more than a friend. I don't care if he wants to be with Bella or any other woman. God knows I don't deserve him. I just want him back in my life." Seth confessed as he looked back down towards the cliff edge. The rushing waters and the jagged rocks and boulders appeared so threatening but yet at the same time Seth felt like they seemed so inviting as well.

"Seth….there is no forgiveness. And there is no love. Love is only weakness. There is only absolution…down below. Just look at it. It's calling for you Seth." Brady pleaded, pointing down to the bottomless depths below.

"Do you think….they would be happy without me? Would he be happy without me?" Seth asked desperately. Brady simply smiled, nodding his head in agreement.

"Yes….he would." Brady said. "Just like you would be much happier without him weighing down your heart. So why not just jump…do yourself a favor…and free yourself. "

Seth looked down at the abyss below that awaited him. It would be so easy to just give in, to escape the pain. He wanted this, didn't he? But why was it so hard for him to make that final leap now?

"I just…I just wish there was another way." Seth confessed as tears fell from his eyes.

"This is the only way!"Brady urged frantically, pointing Seth toward the cliff's edge, urging the wolf to jump. "I promise Seth, I promise you….it will free you beyond just Jacob…it will free you beyond the pack…the tribe…beyond the source of all of your pain….beyond anything you can even imagine."

Seth wanted to free himself and everyone else. But something was pulling him back and warning him not to. It was as if now that he was there on the brink of breaking point, the emotions and love that he had remembered through the years as a child had come rushing back to him in full force and he felt this inner glow that reminded him of what Jacob meant to him. He couldn't be sure but it was like some part of Jacob was calling to him…reaching out to him….Seth knew he must be growing crazy but the feelings that Jacob had always arose within Seth's heart were overtaking the young wolf. He could almost smell Jacob there with him…but Seth knew it was just a dream.

"You know…..growing up...dad always told me, that love would set me free." Seth said, remembering his father's words as he reflected on his childhood and the days he and Jacob would play together from sun up to sundown.

"Seth…that kind of love is only reserved for normal people. It's not for abominations like you….we don't deserve that kind of love. That's why they hate us. That's what they think of you." Brady shot out quickly. Seth wiped at his eyes, trying his best to accept the reality of the other wolf's words but he couldn't. Something was forcing him to hold on and he couldn't understand why. Why now?

"I …I know that…but…does it exist at all? Is there such thing as love out there?" Seth asked aloud as he looked up to the night sky, almost as if praying to the moon itself.

Brady backed away from Seth slowly, his eyes clouded over in bitterness and scorn at Seth's inquiry. He shook his head furiously. He wanted Seth to be bitter and vengeful just as he was, not to dwell on love and it's possibilities.

"Why the hell would you want to know the answer to that Seth? You're answers lie below. That's all you need to know " Brady spat.

But again, as Seth thought back on his pack, his tribe...and the people he loved most…he was overcome with that same warm sensation…like the feelings and thoughts of his memories were coming alive and filling him with their essence. He felt scared and unsure around Brady and at the cliff's ledge, but he also felt caressed by some otherworldly emotion that was trying desperately to envelope him. He recalled these memories and he slowly began to wonder…does this life have more? Is there love out there? Is there happiness out there in the world?

"But…..there has to be love somewhere…Leah….my sister…she loves me." Seth said to Brady, trying to make the younger wolf see his point.

"No she doesn't! None of them do! Seth, they want to get rid of you. All of them pushed you to this point!" Brady screamed.

"And Collin…and Embry…they love me too!…they're my friends…they're like my brothers…they do love me…I know they do." Seth cried but Brady wouldn't hear any of it.

"Oh sure. If they loved you then they would be here to save you, wouldn't they? But where were they when Jacob stormed in and attacked you? Where were they when that monster beat you like some little bitch and molested you. You mean nothing to them! They left the house purposely so he would come and take care of you." Brady accused, using every bit of Seth's hope and using it against him.

"No! You're lying! They're trying to help me! They left the house to help me! To find answers! They love me!" Seth screamed back, not wanting to believe Brady's words.

"They don't fucking love you! You are shit to them! Just throw yourself down to the pit below and I'll give you everything you want Seth…everything you need to take your revenge on them. I swear it!" Brady screamed.

Seth stood there at the edge, ready to take his life and finally deliver himself from the pain that Jacob and the pack had given him. But it was like a piece of something or someone was holding him back. Images of times he spent with Jacob when they were children came rushing through his mind….images of he and Jacob having sleepovers and Jacob holding him tightly as they fell asleep…images of he and Jacob swimming in the lake and Jacob saving him from almost drowning….images of Leah taking care of him when he was sick..Images of him comforting his sister on the night she learned of Sam's betrayal…images of Seth and Collin going to school together…images of the whole pack, happy and together as one. All of these good times that may have been few and far between began to fill Seth's heart. He felt so light but so afraid all at once as Brady continued to urge him to jump off the edge. But Seth couldn't do it….he just couldn't.

"I can't….I just can't…I thought I could but….I can't just turn my back on them…this would be taking the easy way out. And I can't abandon them like this." Seth cried as he turned towards Brady, shaking from the nerves of what he almost just did. The pain and sorrow was still there in his heart. But if it meant a chance just to see Leah and Embry and Collin again, he would bear it. If it meant seeing Jacob and the pack once more, Seth would bear the painful cross he was given no matter what. Because there was something telling him in his heart that he could never let go. Even if he wanted to. He would always love his pack…he would always love Jacob and that love was not a weakness as Brady had said…that love was strength.

"I'm offering you peace of mind Seth…freedom…freedom from the pain that I know is eating you alive." Brady spat coldly. Seth began to move away from the ledge when his hairs stood on end as Brady ranted. He could hear the faint sound horrible hooves stomping on the ground and the cracking of bones….like some abomination dragging a body through the ground and the very thought unsettled his core, but still; there was that warm and enveloping presence that seemed to be surrounding him. He couldn't understand it, but it was keeping him grounded…and whole.

"Face it Seth. Without Jacob's love, you'll never survive. All he gave you was rejection and betrayal. All your pack gave you was exile. And your precious Leah, and Collin and Embry…they couldn't give a shit either. They are tired of trying to protect you! Just give up! Let it go...and just jump!" Brady screamed.

"I…I can't….I can't Brady…I…I can't. I won't! You were wrong. Leah, Collin and Embry…I love them and they love me. And no matter what the rest of the pack and the elders did…no matter what Jacob has done, I still love them. I can't stop. I love them all…they're my friends…my family…even if they hate me…I don't want them to feel like I do…I just want them to be happy…with or without me in their lives." Seth confessed through his sobs as he struggled to unleash the sadness and truth in his heart. He knew they would never love him or forgive him for the troubles he had brought upon them. Seth was certain things would never be able to go back to how they were, but he still loved them and he couldn't take this way out. Seth felt that essence of emotions swelling within him, comforting him and confirming his new resolve.

But Brady just turned away from Seth, disgusted with the older wolf's realizations. Seth was getting worried as Brady kept his back to him, his voice low and cold…and in the faint distance, he could still hear the stomping of hoofed feet and the flapping of leathery wings like something out of hell. It was so unsettling for Seth. He wanted to back away from wherever the sound was coming from. It was as if the wings were right behind him and he could swear he could feel the breath of something bestial within his ear. But then…he heard something he wished he never would have heard. Brady let loose a deep and sinister laugh that made his heart tremble. It was grating, and demonic…sounding as if he was speaking with multiple voices.

"You fucking little bitch" Brady whispered as he turned around, his face ashen with a ghostly pallor as if his face had lost blood and life."You better end your fucking life, or I'll end this little pathetic cunt's life." Brady said, pointing to himself.

Seth was confused and horrified. He didn't know what was going on but it was beyond anything he could have anticipated. He knew the young man was going on about things he should not have had any foreknowledge about but Seth was too wrapped up in his own sadness then to think more of it. But now things were starting to make sense to him. "What if Brady wasn't acting like himself because he…wasn't himself?" Seth questioned. The younger man had spoken as if he were something entirely different the wide eyed and sad boy everyone knew as Brady. The approaching faint leathery sound of those flapping wings continued rapidly as he tried backing away from Brady but there was nowhere to go on the ledge and Brady was currently blocking the cave opening through which Seth had crept through to get to this cliff ledge.

"Brady?… what's the matter with you?" Seth asked cautiously as he feared the worst in the still bleakness of the night. Everything seemed to darken as time seemed to stand still. The hairs on Seth's neck began to prickle and rise as Brady merely chuckled again to himself darkly in that sinister voice.

You….you're not Brady are you." Seth asked as he began to cry, his voice cracking in horror. He honestly didn't want to know the truth. He should have known and he mentally cursed himself for being so stupid enough not to pick up on the truth earlier.

"Who…who are you?" Seth asked uneasily.

"I go by many names. None of which…you are worthy of pronouncing." Brady laughed wickedly as he smiled a toothy grin at Seth.

"Brady….what…what's wrong with you? Stop this! This isn't you!" Seth pleaded with all of his heart, not fully understanding the mechanics of how this worked. He knew the boy before him was not who or what he appeared, but he didn't know any other way to reach Brady's heart.

"Seth….you should know exactly who…or what I am. I'm yourself…in a way…omega. We both share that gift." Brady confessed darkly.

"Brady please…let's just go back home…we'll find help….they'll help us…I can help you…" Seth rambled on nervously as he tried to lay a comforting hand on Brady's shoulder and lead them back to the cave opening and back to safety but it was as if his touch burned the younger man. Brady slapped Seth's hand away and glared at him hatefully, exuding a terrifying aura that made Seth's heart catch and his stomach lurch as he felt the weight of the other worldly tension begin to thicken.

"No one can help me! I'm already finished, and so are you!" Brady screamed as he pushed Seth with all his might, causing Seth to fall back and over the cliff.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Seth screamed out hopelessly as he felt himself lose his balance and fall backwards over the cliff's edge. In the nick of time, his wolf senses kicked in, forcing his reflexes to react immediately as he flailed his arms about to grab on to something as he fell backwards. His hand caught the jagged edge of one of the cliff's edge and he held on for dear life. Seth was never a strong person physically. Even as a wolf he may have had the standard shape shifter strength but it was nothing compared to that of his pack mates. But in this moment of horror, his inner wolf was struggling, calling upon every ounce of his strength to hang on to the edge as he tried to hold himself up by just one hand. He hung from the ledge, praying to God that he could find the strength to pull himself up for most of his body was already slipping fast as he clung on for dear life. Looking down he saw the terrible waters and rocks below. Seth cried knowing it had to be a long drop down and he knew he wouldn't survive it if he let up for even one second.

"Brady! Brady! Please, help me!" Seth cried as he looked up to see Brady smiling down at him, but the younger wolf merely laughed at Seth's predicament wickedly. Seth saw his eyes had become pitch black and the voice…the voice itself was so horrifying that it shook Seth to his very core. It was retched, and deep, and broken and filled with so many painful layers that Seth couldn't even bear to hear it. He hung on for dear life as he looked up at Brady and feared the worst, wondering why Brady would do this to him. But Seth knew this was no longer Brady. Something dark and malevolent had taken root within the younger boy and for the first time in his life, Seth didn't know if he would make it out of this situation alive.

"Brady! Oh God Brady please help me up! Please! I know you're there! I know you're I there, somewhere!" Seth begged desperately.

"DON'T FUCKING CALL ON YOUR GOD! HE WON'T SAVE YOU FROM ME!" Brady screamed with his multiple voices. It was like a thundering roar to Seth's ears and the closer he looked at Brady, the more he could see the dark abyss in his eyes that began to stretch out onto his skin, like poisonous black veins making him take on a death like decayed appearance.

"Please go away! Please stop…someone help ME!" Seth screamed out, not knowing why. He knew where he was no one would find him or be able to help him in time. It was useless. And he knew he was stupid for even coming out here in the first place. He prayed to God for some semblance of salvation and mercy but he knew not where it would come from. Only a miracle could save him now.

"JUMP NOW! TAKE YOUR LIFE OR I'LL TAKE ALL OF THEIR LIVES!" Brady roared with contempt as he stared down at Seth.

"Their lives? No….No…no you can't mean….not Jacob….not the pack…don't. Please kill me instead but don't hurt them! Please!" Seth begged through his tears as he tried to hold on to the ledge but he couldn't. His strength was fading and leaving him. The warm sensation of emotions that had crept into him and made him feel safe and warm was disappearing. He couldn't hang on to those emotions as fear crept into his heart and the only sound left to fill his ears was the sound of Brady's evil laughter and the stomping of hoofed feet.

"I SHALL HAVE THEIR FUCKING SOULS. ESPECIALLY HIS IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!" Brady snarled and as Seth looked up, he wished he hadn't. Brady's eyes closed as if he was overwhelmed and exhausted and he collapsed to the ground, his head hitting the hard gravel of the ledge and a gash forming where the rocks had cut him. The inky blackness that covered his eyes and face were seeping away and forming into something else…..something more. The clouds in the sky seemed to instantly converge over the mountain top as thunder could be heard rising and clashing, signaling to coming of a storm. And as the clouds covered the moon, the inky blackness took shape right before Seth's very eyes and coalesced into the very form of his every nightmare. Standing on two hooves, covered in black fur, was the very being that had haunted Seth's dreams. Was this real? Was this even happening. The creature laughed maniacally at Set's fear stricken state and roared a bestial moan. Its face was that of a demonic wolf, lupine but covered in blackness with yellow eyes from hell and the horns of Satan protruding from just below its ears. Seth cored out for mercy from God to shield him from this terror but no avail. This was truly a demon…an abomination….a devil. As Seth followed the beast's movements. He saw the beasts legs which were covered in fur stretched up to its torso which was strangely reptilian and scaled. This led to a prehensile forked tail that swung animatedly behind it and as it stretched it's form out completely, a large set of leathery black wings protruding from its back with a bone cracking explosion. Seth looked away, horrified. He couldn't take any more. This was the very face of evil itself and he knew now that tonight he would die without ever seeing Jacob's face again. The demon growled loudly, and lifting one of its hideous legs, stomped it's hoof sharply down on Seth's hand. Seth screamed out and pain as he felt his fingers break and before he knew it, the demon had pushed Seth's broken hand off of the ledge, forcing him off.

Seth screamed out in pain and desperation as he fell back. Everything in his life began to flash before him. As he fell through the air, it was as if time was slowing. He saw the demon flap it's wings and rise from the air and fly off into the night sky, leaving Brady's unconscious body there on the safety of the ledge. Seth was glad the young boy was at least safe and he prayed someone would eventually come find Brady. But Seth knew it was too late for him as he kept falling through the air and eventually he would meet his destiny. Maybe it was for the best, maybe it wasn't. All of Seth's fears had finally been realized and he wasn't sure now if there was any point to him fearing the inevitable now. All that awaited him was death and as he kept falling, he closed his eyes and prayed to God and his ancestors that Jacob and the pack would stay safe. Seth let one last tear fall from his eyes as he fell and as he closed his eyes for the last time, he felt that warm sensation again envelop him from within. It brought back images of his memories with Jacob, with his friends and family…he saw a young Jacob smiling at him and holding him and Seth began to feel so warm before the blackness covered his eyes and consumed him completely.


	12. Through the Storm

AUTHOR'S NOTE - I apologize for the long delay, but better late than never, right? Summer has been crazy busy, but I hope everyone enjoyed theirs. This chapter actually took me awhile because I kept rewriting, never really happy with it. I hope it turned out okay this time, I'm not sure, let me know. I'm iffy about it. . I wanted to post this last week but something was going on with my account where my Doc manager was never loading properly in order for me to edit it. Strange. Anyway, thank you to those who kept in touch with me and kept me going, you know who you are. Love you all, and thank you for your continued support

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CHAPTER 12

The night air was cool but the stirring winds that threatened to settle upon the region seemed almost stifling and foreboding. The soon to come rain was evident in the scent of the air that surrounded all of La Push. In the midst of the ever expanding woods of the northern regions of the reservation, three lone wolves ran together through the night in search of a mysterious piece to an ever mounting puzzle. Something that if found, could help them piece together the meaning behind the haunting nightmares that had been plaguing the outcaste wolf, Seth Clearwater. As Embry, Collin and Leah ran with the speed of the night wind through bush and bramble, through trees and underbrush, they all shared a mental link, keeping each other fully aware and alert to the slightest onset of danger or threat.

It had been a heralding search as minutes seemed to tick by into hours. They knew they should never have left Seth alone for so long but it was taking them so long to find their destination that after two hours they all were feeling a bit weary. Embry and Leah even started having disagreements about which direction they were supposed to take and at this point they were not even sure if they had even crossed the northern state line border that would carry them over into the Canadian territory. But through the night it seemed as though something was propelling them all forward, their common goal was to find out where the mysterious cave was….the source of their suspicions and the link that would tie the evidence they found from their research with what Seth had seen so many times in his nightmares. Embry, Leah and Collin knew they had to do this to protect Seth no matter what might lay in store for them. They loved Seth with all of their hearts and knew they couldn't sit idly by while his nightmares and fears destroyed him. As they stopped every now and then to catch their breaths, Embry would look up to the northern direction of the sky, seeing in the distance the ever approaching mountain….the largest and highest in this territory, signaling to him that they were getting closer. Embry kept pushing them all forward, never letting them forget their mission and their duty to protect the young wolf they all cared for.

They had been hiking up the steep mountains side through dense forests and an ever expanding darkness for what seemed like almost another hour or so before they came to a stretch in the woods where even the grounds seemed to become more and more elevated as they hiked up alongside the mountainous terrain. They all surmised they were now on the higher levels of the northern mountains but it still seemed as though it had taken so much time and work to get to where they were, but at least they now knew they were coming upon their desired location.

"My god, I don't know how much longer I can go on. How long do you think it's been?" Leah panted as she trailed alongside her two companions, Embry and Collin.

"I'd say about two hours. It's not easy getting up to these parts all the way from La Push, especially at night." Embry answered. Collin perked up at this, worry settling into his heart at the realization that they had been away from Seth for so long.

"Maybe we've been gone too long. We should have brought Seth along…or at least taken him to your mother's. I don't think we should have left him alone." Collin said worriedly.

"I didn't want to either. But I never thought it would take us this long to navigate our way up through these parts." Embry sighed impatiently.

"I didn't expect it to take this long either." Leah interjected, agreeing with her new alpha. "I guess we shouldn't have assumed it was just a short trek up through the northern territories. I just didn't think the mountain range stretched up this far. But we're almost there, right? I can see the clearing just up head. That's what was pictured in the book. We should find the cave at the end of the clearing."

"Thank God. My legs are starting to kill me. Maybe we should shift back, just to get our bearings and explore a little better." Collin suggested.

"Good idea." Embry agreed as they all made their way behind separate trees to phase back into their human form and throw on a cut of pair of denim shorts, as well as a cropped top in Leah's case.

As they continued to walk through the woods, they could begin to feel their senses prickling as if being watched but neither of them said a word as they continued on their way, the bright moonlight being their only source of light through the relentless woods that was stretched out before them. Upon breaking through the densest part of the woods, they finally broke through and came to the famous clearing that had been mentioned numerous times both in Seth's dreams and in one the reference books of the northern tribe's myth and lore. There was something about this particular location that had inspired quite the fable within Quileute folklore and traditions, but none of the many tales referenced or even heard of through passed down traditions correlated within one another or made much sense. All that Embry, Leah and Collin had to go on was the fact that it appeared to be a prime location in the center of so much speculation within the lore of the northern Indian tribes. And as they say, where's there's smoke there's fire, so their best bet was to investigate this area, as well as the aforementioned cave the reference books had described.

"Look, we must be up at the peak of the mountain now. We're in the clearing…and there! There's the cave entrance!" Leah shouted as she ran over across the clearing, Embry and Collin jogging to catch up with her as they made their way towards the other side of the clearing. The clearing seemed to stretch on for what seemed like forever, surrounded on all sides by dense forest, except for the highest side where there was high wall of stone and opening entrance into a cave that appeared to lead to the otherwise of the mountain, however what lay on the other side was unknown.

"My god…..do you think this is it?" Collin asked.

"Holy shit…it has to be. I can smell him!" Embry said with shock, causing Leah and Colin to turn to him in horror.

"Smell him? Who? Seth? Do you think he was here?" Leah asked.

"I'm not sure, the smell seems faint…maybe he was here some time ago…with all his dreams, it's a wonder we haven't caught him sleepwalking or the like. But he was definitely here; when I'm not sure of…all I know is the remnants of his scent are here…but there's being covered with something else….something my nose can't pick up on." Embry explained sternly.

"D you think we should go in and take a look since we're here now. Maybe we can find something inside? Leah asked.

"Yes…we should, but you guys…you stay behind me, and if anything happens or goes wrong, I want you to get your asses out of here, do you understand?" Embry demanded, more than asked.

Both Leah and Collin nodded their heads in agreement and obedience before making their way inside the cave along with Embry. For the most part, they were awestruck by the stricter of the cave; it seemed large but also confining, like a coffin. They barely were able to see where they were going, only thanks to Leah who maintained the good sense to keep a tiny flashlight in her denim shorts pocket. A cold and dreary draft could be felt as well an eerie silence that seemed both unnatural and ominous within the reverberating stone walls of the cave.

"My God…do you think this is what my brother sees all the time in his dreams?" Leah asked.

"Fit the description to a tee. Although I'm beginning to worry if maybe we're not supposed to be here…look at this here." Embry said as he took Leah's flashlight and aimed it at the upcoming wall they were approaching on the left. Collin and Leah looked over to what had caught their new alpha's attention and noticed not only with their eyes but with their senses, the scent of blood.

"Oh my god, what is that?" Collin asked nervously as they studied what appeared to be a splattering of fresh blood upon the cave wall. In the middle of the splattered blood appeared to be undecipherable and ancient symbols drawn in the very blood itself. What puzzled and scared them was that it appeared as if this had been recent. Had someone recently been to the cave and drawn this symbol? Embry thought to himself as he looked at the horrific image of what appeared to be an inverted cross. None of them could make out what it was meant to represent. But what they all could see was a giant and demonic looking wolf head drawn over the symbol in some form of black liquid substance, like black ink.

"Who do you think could have done something like this? I mean...this looks pretty recent." Leah asked aloud noticing the freshness of the blood and ink of the cave walls.

"The hell if I know. But since this looks recent, maybe whatever or whoever is tied to Seth's dreams and this cave are a lot closer to home than we may think. You smell the blood don't you? It's not even two days old. Someone…or something was in here recently." Embry suggested.

"Didn't we see that symbol in the book? What does that mean?" Leah asked, looking at the bloodstained symbol.

"I'm not sure. But it should mean that we found something to go on. Someone should have brought their phone or something so we could take a picture and show Sam and the others later." Embry surmised coldly.

"The book said there was an ancient spirit in the cave that haunted our people for generations. But it says the people might have created it accidently. This wolf head…do you think they were talking about shape shifters? I mean…that would explain why the book was vague and only described it as an evil spirit. What if what the Quileute people created was a shape shifter that went rogue and they lost control of it?" Collin offered, trying to make sense of what they had just found.

"That doesn't make sense though. Our traditions state that Taha Aki was the first shape shifter. In fact, we only evolved into shape shifters because of the wolf he first shared his body with, during his war with Utlapa. They first started out as spirit warriors, didn't they?" Embry reminded Collin.

"I know…I'm just trying to make some sense out of all of this." Collin answered.

"But you have to admit, it does seem like a pretty good theory." Leah agreed. "The book said the tribe created something…something that turned on them. I think it's a good possibility to say that whatever this thing or whoever it may be…could be tied to spirit warriors, the original ones from the past before they evolved into just wolves. That would explain how it's been able to get into Seth's dreams." The she wolf of the pack explained.

"Damn…I didn't think about it like that. If this is true…..we may be dealing with something beyond our capabilities." Embry said. "Come on guys, it's getting kind of late. Maybe we should start heading back."

As Leah and Collin followed Embry out of the cave, they couldn't help but notice how it had gotten significantly darker outside. Luckily, their wolf eyes gave them illuminated irises enough to see pretty well even in the dark but it was still somewhat unnerving, especially after what they had just found in the cave.

After the horrific sight they had seen in the cave, they decided against phasing back into the wolf forms for the time being and remaining in human form as they began to trek their way back across the clearing that would lead them back through the woods that descended down the mountain. But not knowing what was out there was quite unsettling for them. They weren't afraid of vampires because they were trained how to take care of them. But an adversary that was currently without identity was enough to instill a quiet fear in all of them because they didn't know what they were going up against which meant they didn't know how to fight it. But they had no choice because Seth's life was in danger, even if nobody else in their former pack could see it.

As Embry walked alongside his boyfriend, he noticed the anxiety building in the smaller wolf and he gently draped his arm around Collin's shoulder pulling him into a sideways embrace as they walked. Collin looked up to the older wolf and smiled nervously before hanging his head back down. Embry planted a kiss in the boy's hair before ruffling his hair.

"Don't worry Collin, I'm right here okay? I'm not going to let anything happen to you." Embry assured Collin as he held him close. Collin returned the hug, bringing his arm around Embry.

"I know…Em….that doesn't mean I'm not scared though." Collin confessed embarrassingly.

"Collin listen to me, nothing is going to happen to you. To any of us, I won't let it." Embry promised as he held his boyfriend close. He pulled back just a little, holding him at arm's length to look him in the face, willing the younger man to see his conviction.

"But what if I can't protect you Embry? You want so much to protect me, Leah and Seth but…I have to protect you too…if something happens to you Em….oh god…I couldn't take it…I just couldn't…." Collin confessed with teary eyes.

"Baby I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with for life, you hear me?" Embry smirked confidently but inside he was still unsure if he had what it took to protect and take care of his pack.

"You boys done yet? Or am I gorging to have to separate you two?" Leah interrupted to lighten the mood. "Look, the woods are coming up here. Maybe we should follow a different path this time. We might be able to make it down the mountains a little faster."

"You know….I still can't believe everything that's been happening." Collin stated with uncertainty. "I mean…it wasn't all that long ago that Seth and I were just shooting the breeze up in his room, daydreaming about the what ifs."

"What do you mean?" Leah asked curiously.

"Well, I don't think neither of us were really sure if we would ever confess how we felt let alone come out to anyone. It was always just something that was impossible." Collin explained.

"Collin…I….." Embry began, unsure of how to respond. He knew he had made mistakes in the past and hadn't made it easy for Collin to come forward about his feelings, and Embry regretted that every day.

"Embry…it's not ….. It has nothing to do with you. I'm not blaming you. It's just this place…our people…..La Push is not exactly the land of opportunities." Colin assured his boyfriend.

"I definitely know what you mean." Leah piped in, Collin and Embry turning to look at her expectantly. "It wasn't too long ago that I was just a normal girl and I knew before even graduating high school that I was going to marry Sam. But then….he changed…everyone changed…and I've never really been the same since." Leah lamented.

"Leah….you've had it so hard…for so long. How do you stay here? How did you….stay strong through all of it? I don't know what I would have done if…." Collin began.

"I had a brother. A best friend. Seth…he….I had to stay for him. I had to believe things would work out alright because he made me believe that every day. He made me….see that there were still things worth fighting for, worth living for…so I stayed for him. But now that the same thing is happening to him...and to think that I almost was unaware of it. I fought so hard to get out of here and make a life for myself away from La Push that I almost neglected him." Leah sighed.

"Lea it wasn't your fault. You couldn't have known." Embry tried to encourage her.

"I know. But it still sucks that the situation hasn't gotten worse. How people here have been so…close minded, so cold hearted and prejudiced just because Seth was not afraid to be himself." Leah explained.

"Well we're not going to let this stand, trust me." Embry stated with finality.

"What do you mean Embry?" Leah asked.

"What I mean is…I've been thinking about this a lot and….I've been wondering if things got too out of hand…I want to know if you guys would want to go away….for good." Embry asked hesitantly.

Both Collin and Leah were somewhat shocked at Embry's suggestion as they exchanged concerned looks.

"Go away? Go away how? Like…away from La push?" Collin asked disbelievingly.

"Collin…look, I know you're dad and your sister are here…" Embry tried to elaborate but felt at a loss for words to describe what he was thinking. "But we can't go on like this. Seth is in danger all the time from Jacob…I never thought he and the pack, let alone the tribe would be this hostile towards him…I've basically ousted you and myself to everyone and I'd die before I let them do to you what they did to Seth…and Leah…I know you've been searching for a way out for a long time. What If we just picked up and started over? We're already our own pack. Maybe we should take the next step and go out and find our own home as well…a new home."

"Damn…talk about unexpected. Just how long have you been thinking about this?" Leah inquired.

"Like I said…awhile. I just want us to be safe." Embry concluded.

"Like Leah said…it's definitely a shocking idea but….what about….Embry we'll have to think about this." Collin said.

"Why, what's to think about?"

"Because it's a big step…I mean….don't get me wrong, I want to be with you and I want us to be safe too but…we can't just run away because the tribe is nothing a bunch of bigots. What about your mother? You know she couldn't come with us in her condition…and my dad and my sister want me to be happy but I can't just get up and leave them…and what about Leah and Seth's mom? The hypocritical bitch that she is, she would be heartbroken if something happened to them...oh don't you see Embry, we can't just runaway. We have people here that we're connected to and if we just runaway and turn our back on them, how are we any better than they are?" Collin asked with pleading eyes. Embry stood there; searching Collin's face for any hint of hesitation in his stance but found none.

"You know Collin's kind of right" Leah interjected. "Especially with this new threat against Seth. Whatever these nightmares that he's been having….it's becoming real...it's attacking him and it will be sooner than later when it starts hurting other people...our people. I want to leave just as much as the next person but whatever this thing is that we're trying to find…it comes from us….or our people…our history. It's something tied to the Quileute past and we have to stay and take care of it. We're the only ones that can. If we just run…it'll only follow us."

"Well, I guess that means we stay then." Embry sighed dejectedly.

"Embry I'm sorry….I…." Collin tried to apologize but Embry just smiled at him, waving off any insecurity the younger wolf might have had.

"Don't apologize…I'm just scared that's all. I'm sacred that I'm not strong enough to protect you and if anything ever happened to you I….I could never forgive myself…..and I damn well could never forgive them either." Embry confessed.

"Hey don't worry, we're in this together. All of us." Leah encouraged.

"You guys are right…come on; let's head on back home now. Seth is probably wondering what took us so long." Embry suggested as they kept on their way. They had made it half way across the wide open forest clearing until they began hearing rustling noises in the forest behind them.

"Hey…did you guys here that?" Collin asked.

"Here what?" Leah asked nervously as she turned to look around at their surroundings.

"It feels like we're being watched." Collin answered. Embry immediately began sniffing the air.

"I don't hear anything but…I certainly do smell something off." Embry replied.

Embry began speeding up, walking ahead of Collin and Leah as he made his way over to the nearest edge of trees that would take them out of the clearing and back into the woods that covered the mountain side. He was sniffing the air, trying to hone in on what his senses had caught wind of as Leah and Collin both tried to follow his example.

"Oh my god...what is that? I can smell it now." Leah cried out with disgust as the scent finally reached her nose, scrunching her face up in disproval. The smell was hard for them to pinpoint but even more difficult to describe. All they could think of to describe it was festering. It smelt as if something very near them was decomposing and decaying. It was like the undeniable vile scent of death itself.

"It smells like something…rotting…like a carcass doesn't it?" Embry asked as Leah and Collin both hummed in agreement. Embry finally walked over to the edge of forest nearby and crossed over through the barrier of trees, taking him into the dark woods once again, just like the same way they came up the mountain and to the clearing. He could feel his hackles rising as the scent grew stronger and even more overbearing but he was sure it getting closer. As he sniffed the air trying to discover just what exactly it was that he was looking for he suddenly became aware of the form of what appeared to be a corpse, lying in the leaves and underbrush of the forest floor.

"Look, come over here. Can't you smell it?" Embry shouted as he approached the form, hidden by the shadows of the night. "Where's that damn flashlight, hand it to me."

"My god, you're right…it smells like something dying…like rotting flesh." Leah asked as she handed him the small light they had carried with them. Leah approached hesitantly, Collin treading anxiously behind her to see just what or whom Embry had discovered.

"Holy shit…..I think we need to call an ambulance or something." Embry muttered with shock as he pulled up the body, overturning it so they could see it better. They all were shocked to see a young native boy, with short dark hair, covered in bruises and scars and dried blood.

"Oh my God! That's..." Leah stuttered, not able to believe who they had found.

"Brady!" Collin gasped as he knelt down alongside Embry to help cradle the boy's form. Leah knelt down as well as they tried to pull Brady out of the underbrush he seemed buried amongst.

"What the hell was he doing out here? Come on; let's get him out of here!" Embry ordered as they pulled him up from the leaves.

"Damn it, what the hell was he doing out here? How did he even get all the way out here?" Embry began ranting as he tried wiping off some of the blood from the boys' face with just his hand.

"Oh God, is he okay?! Is he alive?" Collin panicked as Leah wrapped a comforting arm around, holding him tightly. Embry checked Brady's throat and his chest, listening for breath and heartbeat and was relieved to find one.

"He's breathing, he's just out cold. He should be okay when he wakes. First we have to get out of here and get him some help." Embry said.

"Don't worry Collin. Calm down, we'll get help. But we found him because of that smell…why does Brady smell like that?" Leah asked Embry as she helped Collin stand up.

"Its…this blood…" Embry said with surprise and confusion as he picked Brady up in his arms. "This blood on him…It's snot his…it's something or someone else's."

Embry, Leah and Collin all exchanged confused and worried looks before they heard a piercing growl like thunder erupt through the air. It seemed so close and so loud that is shook all three of them to their core, heightening their instincts to phase into their wolf forms on the spot.

"What the hell was that?" Collin asked worriedly.

"It's growls….but…where are they coming from?" Embry replied. Leah spun around on the spot looking all around them.

"Don't you hear it….it's like….it's coming from around us….." Leah gulped as they began hearing a rising chorus of growls coming from all sides of the forest.

* * *

Jacob ran with all his might through the darkness of the unending woods, his strong hind legs propelling him further and further through the forest that seemed to stretch on forever. He had been running through the woods trying to sniff out Seth and find him for the better part of two hours. His nose was straining for all it was worth but he couldn't track down Seth's scent. He could certainly smell it in the air but it was faint. If anything, it was the scent of fading life, as if he had caught the scent of an animal that had sensed its time and had wandered off into the forest to let go and pass away. This only made Jacob panic even more and he fought desperately to find where the scent was coming from but he couldn't. Every time he would catch a wave of Seth's beautiful aroma it would become lost and too faint to retain until it seemed to disappear all together. Jacob was starting to get frustrated as he felt the sweat pouring off of his wolf body, even in the coolness of the night air. He was beginning to resent the darkness and the dense forest for keeping him away from his beloved. It almost felt as if things around him were being manipulated to keep him from finding Seth. But every time he would catch even just the slightest hint of Seth, he would lose the trail again it was infuriating him beyond reason.

"Seth…please...please, where are you?! SETH, if you can hear me, where are you? I'm so sorry…I need you…..I need you Seth…please!" Jacob pleaded over and over in his head, hoping Seth would hear his desperate cries through the shared mental link they possessed as shape shifters. Jacob wept as he continued to run through the forest, praying to whatever higher power existed above him that Seth was okay and that he was getting closer but it seemed as if no one heard his prayers or desperate pleas.

As Jacob made his way to the edge of the northern border, he stopped short. Taking a deep sniff of the air, he lowered his snout to the ground as well to smell the dirt and he caught another faint trail of Seth's signature aroma. It almost made Jacob both sigh in pleasure as well cry as he was taken back to a time when Seth was happy…when they both were happy and Jacob cursed himself at the memory and how he let Seth fall from between his fingers. Jacob knew all along now that he was the only one to blame for everything that had happened. From his confusion and questioning his sexuality, he let his frustration, and self anger and hatred push Seth away, making Seth the target for his own fears. He blamed Seth for everything when all the younger wolf had ever done was love him and be there for him. From cruel and hateful words, to all the times he would hit or beat the poor boy with his fist, a small part of Jacob wondered and feared even if he did find Seth, how could he ever beg for his former friend's forgiveness. He had gone so far and stooped to levels so unforeseen, how could Seth ever see him as anything but a monster? All along he had blamed the younger wolf, allowing his fears to turn Seth into the enemy. He even had convinced everyone in the pack and tribe that Seth was to blame for coming out and trying to earn his affection. But it was all a lie to further break Seth and push him away. And all for what? Just so Jacob could convince himself that he was straight? Just so he could pretend for one moment that he didn't love Seth and want him as much as he did?

"My God…Seth…how…how can you ever forgive me? How can you ever love me again after all the shit I've done to you….I'm so fucking sorry Seth….." Jacob cried as he bowed his head in shame, standing alone in the woods.

"He can't forgive you….he won't" a dark and deep guttural voice whispered. Jacob jerked his head, spinning around to find the source of the voice. Was there another wolf here, Jacob asked himself. He sniffed the air and circled around the area trying to discover who had spoken to him. It was so deep, so painful and felt so close and familiar all at the same time, like he had heard that voice before. It felt as though they were speaking directly in his ear.

"Who the fuck is there?! Damn it; show yourself before I find you!" Jacob demanded with ferocity and anger.

"You won't find what is already lost." The voice echoed again with disparity. Jacob felt like that answer had a double meaning and he became frightened as he thought of Seth, his mind running frantic with all the possibilities of something happening to his beloved wolf.

"Seth! SETH! CAN YOU HEAR ME! SETH!" Jacob miserably howled out trying to ignore the voice, desperately begging fate to forgive him and let him find the young wolf he had mistreated and abused for so long. Jacob took off past the northern border towards the denser woods that stretched on past the Washington state line and upwards toward Canada. It was not often that the wolves patrolled past this point since this was well beyond the limits of Quileute territory but there have been few times of desperation when they had no choice but to venture this far on the prowl for vampires. Jacob surmised that just maybe in his attempt to escape La Push, maybe Seth had wandered up through these parts as well.

"Jacob…you know you won't see him again." The voice echoed out again, bringing Jacob to a stop in his tracks. He whipped around in place once more, thinking someone must be following him and if they were he was not going to run, he would stand his ground and fight them because he would be damned if they kept him away from Seth.

"If you fucking know something about him than tell me, damn it!" Jacob yelled out in his mind as he roared out into the woods. But just as Jacob was turning around he could see a distant figure standing about a mile ahead of him. It appeared to be a mere human man, but his back was turned so there was not much Jacob could gather. From where the man stood, Jacob could see he had long hair like a flowing curtain of black silk that danced on the gently blowing breeze of the summer night. He appeared to be tall, about Jacob's height and from what Jacob could make out a large frame. As Jacob crept closer, something inside was telling him that he knew this man. He couldn't make out any scent either which was absurd as well. All things in life and in the environment carried a unique and particular scent. How was it that this man carried no scent of his own?

"Stay away…if you know what's good for you…if you know what's good for him…you'll stay away and go back to your rightful place, beside your pack and amongst your people." The man said calmly. Jacob was somewhat shocked as his ears were registering something he had never anticipated. The man's voice was deep and rough, but not ragged; it was edged with the experience of an aged warrior but still carried the virility of young man in his prime. It was wise but unyielding...it was…his voice. The man's voice was just like Jacob's. It was like hearing an exact replica or recording of himself speaking. Like looking into a mere reflection of his voice. Jacob didn't know what to do, but even in his wolf form his eyes widened as he stopped in his tracks, staring suspiciously at the man before him, still unable to see his face.

"What the hell are you talking about? How do you even know Seth! How do you even know me?!" Jacob shouted impatiently. He was tired of playing this cat and mouse game. He wanted answers now. If this man knew something about Seth, why was he telling him to stay away? Why was he not giving him answers? And if so, how did he even know? So many questions plagued Jacob that he was becoming overwhelmed with anxiety and anger, his impatience winning over in the end as he was desperate to find Seth immediately.

"I know you….." The man uttered calmly as he turned around. "….Just as I know myself." And to Jacob's horror the man standing before him was himself. Jacob's mouth fall open as his heart seemed to drop into his stomach at what he was witnessing, but it was like looking directly into a mirror. From the heavy set jaw line to the high cheekbones and the black as coal eyes, it was himself. Only instead of his normally short cropped style of spiked hair, the duplicate before Jacob wore a long mane of black silken hair that cascaded down to his shoulders of sculpted muscle and a wide frame. He wore no shirt but merely an animal fur skin around his waist and a pair of tan leathery pants and boots that seemed to be made of animal hide. His chest and one side of his face seemed to be painted with tribal markings and symbols that seemed related to the well known Quileute wolf tattoo that all those within the pack wore. In his long hair he wore various feathers and ornaments that hung from several braids. It was like the duplicate was from another time period as if this was a version of Jacob from the time of their ancestors long ago. To say Jacob himself was speechless was an understatement as he tried to understand exactly what it was he was seeing in this man but then, like an unwarranted vision, realization dawned upon him….he had seen this duplicate somewhere before….he had felt his presence somewhere before…and he then realized it was the very same man from his dreams, the one who had protected Seth when Jacob had accidently killed the younger wolf in his dreams. Immediately Jacob felt hostile and wanted to lash out at this man...whoever or whatever he was…but he didn't know how to or even if what he was seeing was real. How could a dream come to life?

"You…you…you're me?! How the fuck is this possible? Weren't you in my dreams?!" Jacob questioned.

"I'm much more than a dream Jacob. Something you once had when you had him…you had everything. We both did. A best friend, a little brother, the love of our lives…he was everything to me…everything to you as well….but you just cast him away." The man said with a solemn calmness in his voice. Jacob looked down as the realization of what the man was saying sunk in, his guilt and sadness threatening to eat away at him until there was nothing left.

"How…how is this possible? Who are you? Please…tell me." Jacob asked, more out of desperation than anger this time.

"In a way I'm you…because you follow the footsteps I once traveled. We both had something very precious that was lost to us because of our own doing. Now he's gone…and you need to leave this place. If you don't love him…if you hate him a much as you said you did…then leave now." The man warned threateningly, not even blinking as he stared Jacob down. And even though Jacob was still in his wolf form, he couldn't deny that the man's words and his dark eyes that he used to stare into Jacob's soul still intimidated him.

"I DON'T FUCKING HATE HIM! Please…I…I hate myself. I'm the one I hate! I was so fucking scared of what I felt...of what I was and what I knew in my heart…I was so scared, so I just threw all of that shit on Seth and blamed him! I thought if I could just be normal and push him away…everything would be okay...then I could be normal and be what everyone wanted me to be….but I was so fucking wrong! Denying him, denying who I was…that wasn't normal! All Seth did was love me and I killed him! I cursed him, hated him, abused him every day and I pushed my pack and the tribe to do the same….now they hate him… all because of me….I don't deserve him…I know I don't but I still love him…I love him so fucking much it hurts like hell! I love Seth…I love him!" Jacob shouted at the man.

"HOW CAN YOU LOVE SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVE TREATED WITH SUCH HATE!" the man shouted at Jacob, taking the shape shifter aback. Jacob marveled at what just happened. His voice was almost like thunder when he shouted and Jacob could feel the power emanating from the duplicate that looked just like him. Clearly there was more to this man than what he could see.

"I don't know…because I was a fucking coward and I hurt him because I was scared of being myself…I was scared of loving him….but I'm not anymore!" Jacob answered as he gained more confidence, looking back at the man before. All it took was one thought of Seth, remembering the moments they shared when he held Seth in his arms and realized how much he loved the boy more than anything in this world. Jacob hated himself for not realizing it back then. Jacob knew he had been so selfish, ignoring Seth and putting him last while he put Bella and the tribe's expectations first. He hated himself for what he did, but he now knew where his heart belonged and who he wanted more than anything in this world. Jacob looked back at the man with just as much ferocity.

"I do love him! More than anything! I know I fucked things up and that I don't deserve him and I'll spend the rest of my god damn life paying the price for that! I'll suffer and endure whatever hell I deserve just to make amends and show him how sorry I am and how much I love him…but I do love him, no matter what you or anyone else says! So if you know something, tell me! Please!" Jacob shouted with everything in him. He felt this wave of love and warmth overcome him and the aroma was sweet and strong, innocent and comforting. It was like in that moment, voicing out how he truly felt made his senses heightened and pick up the tiny remnants of Seth that may have still lingered in the forest.

The man before Jacob who looked just like him narrowed his eyes before relenting as he sighed, turning away from Jacob once more.

"If what you say is true, I have no right to judge you, as I have sinned against the one I love as well. However, the price you speak of paying is much more than you can fathom. I sinned against him…and how I treated the one I loved, the hatred I showed him...it cursed him...it cursed me…it cursed all of us…damning us to this….but you still have a chance…..if you're strong enough to endure the hell that awaits." The man said as he pointed upward toward the sky. Jacob's eyes followed what the man was pointing at and saw the northern mountain peaks, the largest mountains in the region that could even be seen from the Quileute territories. Technically, this was now Canadian lands and the forest was dense, uncharted and part of the vast unknown, but those northern mountains led to the cliffs that were so large they could been seen from miles away. But what the man was saying made Jacob stop and shiver at the cryptic suggestion of his response. What curse? Who had this man hurt? And what hell was awaiting?

"What do you mean…did you….if you're me….did you have someone like Seth as well? And what's up there? Is this about Seth?! Is he hurt?! Please, tell me where he is! I have to find him! I NEED HIM! HE NEEDS ME!" Jacob yelled until his voice was almost horse with pain.

"Never mind now…..if you want to save him…you must first save others. Go to the mountains….follow the pull in your heart. It will lead you to where you're meant to be..for now." The man said. Jacob walked up to stand along his duplicate to see where he was looking at the mountain. Jacob never realized just how eerie and haunting those mountains looked, especially in the moonlight. He turned to his side to face the man once again, to confirm if he would indeed find Seth but to Jacob's surprise. The man was gone.

Jacob stepped back in horror and shock. Where did he go? Jacob couldn't understand how this had happened. That was the exact same man he had seen in his dreams with Seth so many times. Was it some mysterious guardian angel…or was it Jacob from another time…another life? All of these questions swam through Jacob's head as he looked back up at the mountain. What was happening here? Jacob knew that something was not right. He could feel it in the air, like the prickly smell in the air just before a coming thunder storm. Something in these lands was not right. He could sense it. But what did this have to do with Seth? Was this about the dreams he had been plagued with where he couldn't stop himself from accidently killing Seth? All Jacob knew was that he had to find Seth at all costs. Jacob didn't care what the cost was. All he wanted was to hold the young wolf in his arms once more, and he would, even if it killed him. Following the scent his newly heightened senses had helped him discover, he took off into the deepest parts of the northern woods up towards the mountains.

* * *

Embry, Collin and Leah looked in the same direction, toward the clearing they had just walked across as they waited with fear in the forest edge. With an unconscious Brady now with them, Embry, Collin and Leah kept listening to where the threatening growls were coming from, afraid to even run away for fear of running into whatever was responsible for the growls. It seem dot be coming from all around them all at once and they couldn't decide what to do. Even worse, the full moon was slowly becoming covered by passing clouds and the darkness of the night seemed to become thicker like fog and threatened to swallow the entire forest. The three wolves stood on edge as their hairs and hackles rose with tension and fright. Something unsettling was rising, even if they could not see it with their own eyes. They could not only hear the deep guttural growling that began faintly but began to rise, they could feel it as well, like an emerging earthquake. It shook up and unsettled their nerves, causing everyone to be on alert as they unconsciously began stepping backwards away from the forest entrance, retreating further into the forest but afraid to venture too deep. This side of the forest would take them back down the way they came, down the mountainside but the growls seemed to be coming from that way as well. What disturbed them the most was the sound was actually quite familiar. It wasn't the smooth but yet threatening growl of a vampire, it was the animalistic and wild growl that could only be made from another shape shifter or wolf…..or worse, maybe even something else entirely.

"Look….you can hear it coming from the clearing as well." Leah asked nervously. Embry merely looked on with apprehension at what Leah was pointing to from their location at the forest edge to the clearing they had venture d across and the large cave on the other side, the peak of the very mountain. He knew as their new alpha, he had to protect them from whatever danger they were faced with but he didn't quite understand what they were hearing now. All he knew was they had to get out before it was too late. But the entrance to this side of the forest which would lead them back down the mountain was also the same direction the warning growls were coming from as well. It was like they were surrounded. Embry didn't know how else they were supposed to leave from this side of the mountain they were on.

"We've got to get out of here now. I don't want to stick around to find out what's making that sound." Embry said with finality. Holding onto the sleeping Brady in his arms. "Come on guys, follow me. We're going back down through the forest, the way we came. We'll just have to make a run for it."

"But…how…how are we going to get back down this side of the woods. What if there's something down there we can't fight?" Collin asked, as he and Leah began following Embry further into the woods that would take them on their decent down the mountain.

"We'll be okay, just stay close to me." Embry said, unable to ignore the still increasing sound of the growls that surrounded them from all sides.

"Is he okay? Do you think, he'll be alright?" Leah asked as she made her way over to Embry to inspect the sleeping Brady he held in his arms. Touching a hand to the young wolf's forehead, she surveyed Brady and wondered what kind of trauma he could have experienced to end up in the woods the way they found him, bruised and covered in blood.

"He should be. I've noticed some of his scars are healing, but very slowly. His breathing is normal so he may just be unconscious for now. Still, we need to get back to La Push and into town soon so we can take him to a doctor." Embry answered.

"Hey…um….guys…I think you need to see this." Collin said worriedly. As Embry and Leah had begun to move further down into the exiting side of the woods, Collin remained at the forest edge, just at the clearing entrance…watching something most peculiar. He had been standing just at the edge of the forest line keeping a lookout as Embry and Leah looked after the unconscious Brady. Collin had never been so scared in his life after seeing his former best friend face down in the forest, unconscious and unresponsive. Long ago they once were best friends, but that was before the death of Brady's family and the appearance of wolves and vampires. After Paul took Brady in, Collin was dejected to discover that Brady would no longer speak to him. For years Collin wondered what happened or what he did to make his friend turn away from him but he never found the answer. And while Collin knew not what Brady was going through or what had been going on with Brady for years, seeing the boy now in such a state, Collin feared that he might never get a chance to find out or have the chance to mend their lost friendship. But those fears were overcome by a more pressing threat that lay across the large clearing they had just traversed. It was very faint, but Collin could just vaguely make out the shining reflection of eyes. But not just one set but multiple sets of eyes could be seen peering out of the opposite forest entrance across the clearing which meant whatever they had heard growling before, there was indeed many of them. The eyes seemed to glow like fire…an almost red pupil could be made out across the distance.

"What the devil…is that? Vampires?" Embry gasped as he walked over to Collin to look at what the young wolf was seeing.

"Oh my god….vampires don't have glowing eyes." Leah gasped as she too made her way over to where the male wolves stood, fearfully looking out at what they were witnessing across the clearing. But this was merely the tip of the iceberg as those eyes became not only clearer, but closer.

From across the field, darkness gave way to the unmistakable sight of movement, as the shadows had come to life like inky blackness pouring out from their hiding place amongst the trees and began to take shape into something so familiar but yet so foreign. Embry, Leah and Collin watched on with horror as the darkness slowly but surely purged through the rim of forest and spilled out like a wave upon the open field clearing like an incoming tide on the beach. But as it began to recede, vast movements and motions could be seen coming from the wave of blackness. It was as if the black mass was splashing and swarming, trying to break itself apart and become individual. The shape shifters could see the ink like substance form into a multitude of human like hands that all seemed to stretch upward towards the sky accompanied by a horrifying and terrible moan of a thousand cries which bellowed out from the animated abomination that seemed to cover the field.

"What the hell is that?!" Leah almost shouted in terror as they all watched the hands begin to form into fully grown men of darkness who pulled themselves out of the black cesspool and bow down upon the ground. Embry, Leah and Colin couldn't believe what they were seeing. The mass of darkness was breaking off into a multitude of smaller puddles that began taking shape into the body and shape of a human man. The body was completely black, devoid of even a face, possessing only a body of darkness as if made from ink itself and having glowing red eyes….red glowing eyes, like dead fire that could pierce right through ones soul.

"Are they…looking at us Embry?" Collin asked, frightened beyond imagination. As the ink like humanoid creatures bowed low upon the ground, their faces were raised, looking directly at the group of young wolves hiding in the trees on the opposite side of the clearing. The dark cesspool from which the humanoid creatures had emerged, continued to break off into human like duplicates that all assumed a bowing position once fully formed. The three young shape shifter wolves observed the horrific sight and noticed that it seemed as if there were over a hundred of these creatures now, all bowing upon the ground.

"Look…it…it stopped." Embry said as he held tightly to the sleeping Brady in his arms. Indeed, the black pool of darkness had broken off into its last remains to form the final legion of humanoid creations. They all sat still, bowed in obedience to some unknown presence. Even Embry , Leah and Collin stood emotionless as they watched the scene unfold before them, too afraid to make any sudden moves. The silence seemed to stretch out for an eternity until a deep and guttural wolf howl pierced the night and silence. However , It was not the warning and protective howl of another familiar wolf shifter…this howl was threatening and menacing, like the bellow of a demon. In synchronization, the hundred dark figures bowed upon the field all lurched and writhed until they exploded simultaneously into another form and the three shape shifter wolves watching couldn't believe their eyes. The dark legion had formed and twisted and wretched into a bestial form that forced them to stretch out onto all fours. Their dark and blank shapeless faces stretched out into large overbearing snouts that barred razor sharp teeth and fangs. Their inky like textured skin boiled over like oozing puss until it formed into ragged like dark fur and they shrieked a terrible moan and howl as their final form was revealed….a dark and twisted corrupted version of a shape shifter wolves. Embry, Leah and Collin couldn't believe what they were seeing, an entire army of a hundred or so wolves that looked just like them, except a more dark and sinister version. Their eyes glowing like red hot fire, burning with anger and bloodlust and their very breath seemed to be so vile that it disturbed the very air around them by giving off a greenish smoke as if they were surrounded by cold.

"They're…they're shape shifters?" Leah asked disbelievingly. But no one could answer. No one dared speak unless they had to. The trio looked on as the legion of black wolves stood there, growling and before anyone could even utter a breath, they began to launch themselves across the field clearing toward them. Embry, Leah and Collin's pulse jumped into overdrive as they watched the wolves with their dead glowing eyes rush toward them without remorse or cause.

"RUN! NOW!" Embry shouted as he held tightly to the unconscious boy in his arms. He waited for Leah and Collin to take off passed him in the opposite direction the wolves were advancing before following them. He wanted to be at the tail end of them in case the dark wolves got too close. He couldn't bear the thought of his beloved Collin or his friend Leah getting attacked or worse killed. But none of what just occurred was making any sense. There were almost over a hundred of those dark wolves after them, but where on earth did they come from? And how did they come to be? They weren't human, that much was certain. But if not, exactly what were they? Embry couldn't even think straight as they all ran through the woods, their hearts racing a mile a minute as they heard the bloodthirsty wolves approaching them from behind.

"Oh my god! What the hell are those things? What do they want?" Leah cried out with fright as she ran alongside Collin who kept tripping and falling, seeming to get himself caught on every branch and upturned root on the forest ground.

"Embry, what are we going to do?! We can't outrun them forever? What if they follow us back to the reservation ?" Collin panicked as he picked himself up, and tried running again. Embry thought fast as he assessed their situation. They couldn't run like this forever. He tried to keep hold of the unconscious Brady held fast in his arms and protect him from danger, but in the event the wolves caught up with them, what were they going to do?

"You two are going to have to go on without me?" Embry said. Leah and Collin came to an abrupt stop as they turned to look at Embry with fear and worry in their eyes.

"What? NO! EMBRY!" Collin begged, as he looked at the love of his life with desperation. A part of him looked at the boy Embry was holding in his arms and Collin wished for a second that it was him who was being cradled by Embry, instead of Brady. He just wanted to be near him and feel his comfort and love but in the time and circumstance, there was no way that could happen.

"Look, you two can phase into your wolf form and get out of here. They're catching up. I can't phase and run and hold onto Brady. You two need to get out now!" Embry said with finality.

"Embry, we're not going to just leave you here!" Leah snapped, trying to make her new alpha see reason.

"Embry, I'm not going anywhere without you, do you hear me!" Collin said as tears began to build up in his eyes. It broke Embry's heart to be so firm and unmoving with the younger wolf, but given the circumstance, there was nothing more he could do. He had to protect his new pack no matter the costs.

"Damn it Collin, I don't have time to sit here and fucking argue with you! I'm trying to keep you guys safe!" Embry shouted at the younger wolf, and he almost instantly regretted it as he saw Collin shrink back in submission. "Now go! THAT'S A FUCKING ORDER! GO! BOTH OF YOU!"

Leah and Collin gave Embry one final look of fear before turning away and bursting into their wolf forms, Leah a bright and sleek silver wolf and Collin a dark grey with hints of brown. In their wolf forms they could almost run faster than any vampire and it gave them just the advantage they would need to outrun the dark wolves after them, but they kept looking back, unable to leave Embry and Brady behind.

Embry knew he didn't have a choice as he continued his attempt at outrunning the dark wolves on foot in his human form as he clung to Brady. He could hear them approaching behind him and his heart was hammering in his chest so fast he thought it would explode from his body at any moment. Stopping abruptly, he knew there was nothing he could do while holding the sleeping Brady. He ran over to a large tree where he found an overturned hollowed out log. It was very large and seemed mall enough for someone to crawl into. Immediately, Embry thought of an idea. He could hide Brady inside until he dealt with whatever was coming. Leaning down, Embry gently placed Brady inside the hollowed out tree log, scooting the boy's small body safely inside. Reaching around him, he quickly gathered up some surrounding bushes of leaves, covering up the whole of the log to conceal Brady and hide him from sight. But Embry suddenly heard the multiple stomps of paws hitting the ground and turned around just in time as he burst into his large grey wolf form. As he stared on at the surrounding forest, his heart almost stopped at the sight of the fast incoming horde of wolves that were making their way through the trees and toward them. Their eyes were burning like fire and their breath was like green venomous smoke. The very stench of them was like charcoal and sulfur. Alpha or his own pack now or not, Embry couldn't lie to himself. He was more scared than he's ever been in his entire life. But he had to face this. He had to protect those he loved. As he dove his paws in the ground, he launched himself at the first few dark wolves with a vicious growl and his fangs barred.

As he came head to head with the horde of wolves, he was met with a knock to the head that took that threw him to the ground harshly, and he cursed to himself as h felt something snap in his shoulder but ignored the pain, knowing it would heal, albeit slowly. Embry shook his heavy lupine head as the abrupt force of the attack winded him somewhat. He quickly got up only to see himself being surrounded by the menacing hell hounds, all baring their fangs. As his heart raced with adrenaline, he knew in the back of his mind that he wasn't going to survive tonight and he knew that no matter how hard he fought. He would never be able to see Collin's smile, or feel his touch or hold him gently in his arms again. But as long as the boy was alive, that was enough for Embry. With his emblazoned resolve, Embry kicked himself off the ground, leaping at the hounds with all his might, slashing about as he made for one of the nearest wolves' throats. The wolves jumped on him, sinking their teeth into him. He yelped out in pain but he could tell that he was much stronger than they were, as if they were mere droids or apparitions. Sinking his fangs into one wolves neck, he kicked his feet out at another that was biting him from behind to knock it away. One dark wolf lunged at him, but with ease he swept away from its aim and grabbed at its head with his teeth, ripping the head and severing it from its body. The dark wolves around him all began backing away hesitantly as Embry noticed to his shock that the dark wolf he had just beheaded began dissolving to a black mist until nothing was left.

"What the hell? Are these apparitions? Or are they real?" Embry asked himself but he didn't have time to think about it any longer as he noticed the wolves regain their focus once again and lunge at him once more. Yet again, Embry jumped into the fray head first, despite the horrible pain shooting through his body. He could tell his body was weakening, but he was emboldened by the fact that he was much stronger as he wrestled the dark wolves one after another, pulling and grabbing at them with his strong snout and sharp fangs. They would pounce on him with deadly force, but with a mere tumble and roll, Embry would throw them off his back and slash at their throats, three more dark wolves bursting to a black vaporous mist that faded into the air and blew away with the wind like they were nothing. Embry felt awestruck at himself as he battled the dark wolves like he had been trained to kill vampires, going for the throat, beheading them to keep them from rising. He couldn't understand where this strength was coming from. His body was hurting and aching from his wounds, and he now knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that one of the dark wolves had indeed bit deep enough into his leg bone but he was able to ignore it long enough to focus on killing his way through the hordes of dark wolves around him. At least until one of them could get in a lucky shot. He had stopped counting around twenty as he made quick work of them but there were just too many. One of the beasts jumped on his back, biting deeply into his broken shoulder and Embry howled out in pain and he wrestled it off of him using the sharp claws of his paws to slash at its throat before jumping over to the surrounding wolves and attacking them.

"EMBRY! GET DOWN!"

Before Embry could even react or move, he knew whose voice that was. That familiar bold and strong voice of a young man he used to respect as one of his closest friends. As Embry looked up, he saw the giant form of reddish brown wolf soaring through the air from one of the higher tree tops. The wolf landed with grace on its four paws right in front of Embry. The two wolves eyes locked for a brief moment and Embry knew it was Jacob even before he laid eyes upon his former alpha. Without another word, Jacob swung around, standing in front of the wounded Embry protectively as he faced the surrounding dark wolves that were closing in on them. Jacob did not hesitate as he leaped at the wolves, fangs bearing and lashing and slashing at their throats with swift violence and accuracy. The dark wolves retaliated by pouncing on Jacob, but like his friend Embry, Jacob was an expert fighter and lashed away at the dark wolves as if they were nothing. Regaining his bearings Embry picked himself back up and entered the fray, attacking a horde of the dark wolves that were surrounding Jacob. One of the wolves lunged out, causing Jacob to fall back into Embry. The two collided roughly, locking determined eyes with each other.

"What the hell are you doing out here Jacob?!" Embry asked in his mind with venom.

"Embry, I'm not here to fight with you. I came to help." Jacob simply replied.

"Well then shut your trap and let's take care of these demons." Embry barked as he lunged up from his place and back into the group of dark beasts that were ready to attack once more. Jacob nodded his head in agreement and fought right alongside his former friend. They took quite a beating as they endured the many slashes and bites by the dark wolves but they kept on fighting through the large pack of dark wolves. As Embry and Jacob would bite into a dark wolf or slash at its throat, the beast would instantly burst into a black gust of smoke before evaporating into the wind completely. They lunged through the hordes with quick and strategic attacks, proving their skills as wolves much superior to the ghost like demonic wolves they were fighting, even though they still had no idea exactly what it was they were up against.

"Any idea what these fucking things are?" Jacob asked as he dodged a claw swipe from one the wolves, before quickly head butting it and then going for its throat without mercy, causing it to burst into smoke.

"No fucking idea! But I think they might have something to do with the caves we went to investigate. I think whatever was up there has been haunting Seth and it doesn't want us to get too involved." Embry said as he grabbed a dark wolf by its head and swung with such force, throwing it into three other wolves that made them all fall over violently into a mangled heap.

Before long, Jacob and Embry had vanquished the entire swarm of dark wolves as they looked around them, seeing only a large gust of pitch black vaporous smoke that was once the evil wolves they had just fought. Too many questions were swarming through both of their heads as they looked around, sniffing the air intently and trying to understand exactly what was happening.

"I…I caught wind that you guys were in trouble…but…I had no idea we would have to deal with this? What the hell was that?" Jacob said nervously through his mental link with Embry, raising his lupine ears in confusion, even though he couldn't admit that some identical apparition of himself had warned him that he was needed up here. He just never knew that he would find something as terrible as this going on. He was scared and anxious to find Seth but he could see that his questions would have to wait as he looked up to see Embry glaring at him warningly. On his way up the mountain, he had run into Leah and Colin who were battling dark wolves of their own. He came to their rescue and told them to keep low until he could find Embry.

"That's a good question….but first you owe me some answers." Embry spoke. "How the fuck did you find us? And why would you even be helping us?"

Jacob was taken a back as he looked his former friend up and down with surprise. He knew there was damage to their friendship after everything that happened between them but he never thought it would be so bad where his own intent to help a fellow pack mate would be questioned. He cared a lot for Embry and still considered him his friend even though he knew Embry would not.

"Embry….I….I just wanted to help. I was wandering up these parts and caught the scent of you guys in trouble. Despite what you may think, I do care about you guys and I don't want to see anything happen to you." Jacob explained, but Embry was still suspicious. Things just didn't add up here. Embry bowed his head and let the ripple of calmness wash over him as he willed himself to phase back into his human form and before he knew it, he was his normal self again. Jacob followed suit and phased back into his human form as well as he made his way over to where Embry was standing. The both pulled on a pair of cut off shirts they had tied to their leg to properly cover themselves before resuming their conversation.

"Look, not that I'm not grateful for helping, but that still doesn't explain how you got all the way up here in the first place, unless you were following us from the start. We usually don't patrol all the way up through these Canadian parts. What were you doing all the way out here in the first place?" Embry questioned with an accusing tone. Jacob sighed with defeat, knowing he had to be honest with him.

"Come on, I'll tell you everything. Follow me. I found Leah and Collin further down the mountain. Let's catch up with them and make sure they're okay and then I'll answer your questions." Jacob replied. Embry nodded before placing a hand on Jacob's shoulder to stop him.

"Wait, we have to get Brady. I found him up here. I hid him so the wolves wouldn't find him." Embry told Jacob who nodded at him, following his friend over to a secluded group of trees where the fallen log was. As Embry knelt down to uncover the log and pull the sleeping Brady out gently, Jacob studied the young boy and saw just how many scars were covering his body. He had no clue how any of this happened or even what was happening but he felt responsible. If he had been the alpha he was supposed to be, then none of his pack mates would have been in danger, eh would have known beforehand before they found themselves in this mess.

"Is he…..what happened to him?" Jacob asked worriedly as knelt down beside Embry to help gently pull Brady out of the log he was in. They both cradle him, Embry supporting his neck with one hand and holding his body up with his other while Jacob ran soothing hands over the young wolf's sleeping face and body to rub away some of the dried blood and leaves.

"We don't know…we just found him up here when we were trying to investigate the cave on the mountain top." Embry admitted. Jacob looked at Embry studiously before looking back up to the direction of the dense forest they had come through that would lead back up the mountain top and to the clearing with the cave. Jacob knew he had been here before…knew he had seen this place in his dreams before but he didn't know what any of this meant at all.

"Why were you guys investigating this area? Were you looking for leeches or something?" Jacob asked curiously but Embry just shook his head.

"No, we were looking to find…" Embry began but was cut off from a loud shot behind him. He turned just in time to see Leah and Collin running up him.

"EMBRY!" Collin shouted as he ran towards the two alphas huddled around the unconscious Brady. Jacob smiled warmly as he took Brady from Embry, allowing him to run up and embrace Collin. Embry and Collin hugged fiercely, Collin snuggling himself into Embry's bare chest as he cried with relief. Embry cooed the younger wolf, coddling him and planting feverish kisses on his forehead and working his way down to the boy's ear as he assured him everything was okay. Leah stopped short and watched the two love birds with a grateful smile on her face, looking a little worse for wear herself. Jacob had found her and Collin fighting off a smaller horde of dark wolves themselves when eh traversed up the forested mountain. He helped them finish them off before telling them to find cover so he could find Embry; little did he know that he would discover an unconscious Brady among them as well.

As Jacob watched the two wolves embracing one another, he couldn't help the surge of jealousy, longing and shame that he felt. That could have been him and Seth. Jacob knew if he hadn't made the mistakes he had, if he hadn't abused Seth and driven him away, then that could have been them. He could have had everything he wanted, if he had been brave enough be honest with himself and his feelings. Now he couldn't find Seth and he knew he would have to answer to that shortly because he knew he was the reason for Seth's disappearance. He was slightly afraid to admit that Embry and the others of course but he knew he deserved anything he had coming at this point. But he didn't care. All that mattered was finding Seth and figuring out just what the hell was going on out here.

For awhile it seemed as if no one would say anything, everyone still reeling from what had just happened what they had just experienced and many other unanswered questions that threatened to boil over any moment. Finally though, Embry pulled away from Collin enough to shoot a murderous glare at Jacob, Holding Collin close with one arm around his shoulders. Leah looked worriedly at Collin who exchanged a nervous glance with her as they looked back and forth from Embry to Jacob, who was still kneeling on the ground holding Brady.

"Let go of him now!" Embry ordered, breaking Jacob out of his reverie as he was holding the unconscious Brady. Leah walked over without looking Jacob in the eye as she took Brady away from her former alpha.

"Here, Jake, I'll take care of him. He's still breathing, so that's a good sign." Leah said as he scooped Brady out of Jacob's arms and into hers. Jacob sighed dejectedly as he stood up from the ground where he was previously holding Brady until Leah took the boy away.

"For god's sake Embry, calm down….I'm just trying to fucking help!" Jacob spat. Embry scoffed at him bitterly.

"Jacob, what the hell are you even doing in the woods tonight?! There's no patrols for your pack tonight." Embry accused, rather than asked. Jacob sighed with frustration. He really didn't want to get into it with Embry right now. His mind couldn't stop thinking about Seth and worried if something might have happened to him. But he knew he couldn't avoid this. Embry was his former friend. Leah and Colin were his former pack mates and he knew he owed them an explanation.

"Look Embry….. I could ask you guys the same thing. There are no patrols tonight. Besides Embry, I am the alpha and these are still my woods…" Jacob began but was quickly cut off.

"Your fucking woods?! Are you kidding me this shit?! These are all tribal grounds! It belongs to all of us, not just you Jacob." Embry spat. Jacob ran his large hands over his face tiredly as he kicked himself mentally for his rude response. He knew he should have chose his words a little more wisely, especially considering where he and Embry stood as far as their estranged friendship went.

"Embry..I…I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it like that…I'm sorry." Jacob replied.

"Apology not accepted. Besides, I told you that you're no longer my alpha. You're not the leader of Collin, Leah or I. We're our own pack now." Embry snapped. Jacob sighed as he shook his head.

"Embry, come on man, seriously? Look, I know we have some things to work out and I know I haven't been making the best decisions lately but you were always one of my closest friends….you can't really mean that you're going to turn your back on me when I need you." Jacob pleaded with desperate eyes.

"What the fuck are you talking about? You've been making stupid decisions from square one, only this time your hatred and anger has started to affect other people's lives…Seth's life, and I'm not going to stand by while you and the pack abuse and punish him any longer." Embry lashed out. Jacob almost would have cried at Embry's truthful accusation had he not been trying to hold his emotions at bay.

"It's not like that Embry! I…Look guys…I know you don't have any reason to trust me or even believe in me anymore but I don't want to hurt Seth…I never wanted to…I've just been so scared and angry and…." Jacob tried to go on but he couldn't as he bit back a sob, his eyes watering with the hurt and guilt of what he had done.

"Scared? Of what Jake?" Leah questioned, wanting to voice her opinion. "You're the fucking alpha. You and your loyal pack walk around here all the time like you fucking own everything and everyone. Everything in your life has been in your favor. What could you possibly be scared of? You don't even know the half of what it's like for Seth…he loved you more than anything in the world and now you've broken and beaten my brother to the point that he doesn't even have the will to keep going….let alone survive."

But something in her words made Jacob panic as he thought of what she said…why wouldn't Seth survive?

"Survive?! What the hell does that mean? Why the fuck didn't anyone say anything?!" Jacob shouted with desperation.

"Back the fuck up Jake! He's none of your fucking concern as far as I'm concerned." Embry snapped. "Weren't you the one that said you wanted him to go away and just disappear? That you never wanted to see him again?"

Jacob looked won as tears escaped his eyes.

"Embry….I…I didn't mean that." Jacob muttered quietly.

"Damn it! Yes you did! And I'll be damned if I let you anywhere near Seth again, so you can just hurt him!" Embry replied hotly, his anger radiating off of him in waves. It took everything he had within him to not phase into his wolf form at this very moment.

"I don't want to hurt Seth….please…I just…" Jacob begged, as he turned to Collin, begging Seth's best friend to believe him. "Come on, Collin, you believe me, don't you?"

"I….I don't know." Collin muttered looking away. Collin was never one to back down from what he believed him, but he also never was one to purposefully jump in conformation and he even more disliked being stuck in the middle. He looked up as Embry glared at him, daring him to show sympathy towards Jacob, he then turned to look at Jacob who looked broken and defeated and Collin knew that face…those eyes anywhere. It was the look of a man who had come to a realization and Collin began to suspect something but he didn't want to voice it aloud.

"You leave him out of this Jake." Embry shouted, stepping protectively in front of Collin. "You're always going after people weaker than you, thinking you can just bully them into whatever you want them to do. Is that how you belittled Seth into thinking he's nothing?"

Jacob sighed with defeat as he wiped away the tears form his eyes.

"No! Embry, you know I would never hurt Collin. I know…I know how much he means to you. Believe it or not, I care about him…I care about all of my pack…that's what it means to be a pack, to be a family." Jacob answered sincerely but Leah interrupted him.

"How would you even know what it is to be a pack Jake?" Leah asked as she held on to the sleeping Brady in her arms. "All you guys know how to do is tear people down and destroy lives. I thought that after what I went through and what the pack did to me you guys would have learned your lesson but it seems that it wasn't enough for any of you. Ever since he was younger you guys always bullied him because he was weaker and couldn't stand up against any of you." Leah explained. Guilt overwhelmed Jacob as he looked at the she wolf and he considered her words, knowing how true they were and how he and the others were responsible as well for the pain she endured.

"Leah…please…I am so sorry for how we just ignored what you went through. I'm admitting that. I was wrong….we all were. And I admit that when we were younger, I didn't always protect Seth from the others like I should have. Seth was my best friend….but sometimes I let the others tear into him because I didn't want to look weak but I was wrong. I know that and I'm so sorry…but please…just give me a chance to help. Please, somebody just tell me what the fuck is going on and what the hell were those things we just ran from back there?" Jacob pleaded.

"Look, we don't even know a lot either. We were trying to keep Seth hidden from you guys since the whole tribe is against him. But even when he sleeps he can't rest. Something has been attacking him in hi s sleep." Embry explained. Jacob thought about what he had just been told as something clicked in his head. He too had been tormented mentally by dreams…dreams in which Seth was also present. Could there be a connection?

"What do you mean he's being attacked while asleep? You mean…like, when he dreams?" Jacob asked. The other three nodded in confirmation.

"Yes, he's been dreaming of a monster…a demon I think is what Seth called it. Something half wolf…half demon that is always after him. He said that he always dreams of you…as if you're from another time period…or something…like...back in when our ancestors first became wolves and then the demon comes after him." Collin answered nervously.

"But you still haven't answered my questions Jake, how the hell did you even know where we were in the first place? I thought you guys had the wedding rehearsals earlier. What are you doing out here?" Embry asked suspiciously.

Jacob stood there, not knowing exactly how to continue form this point on. He couldn't lie…he didn't want to. But he was unsure exactly how they would react if he told the truth, not that he had any choice. He knew whatever he had coming, he deserved very bit of it. As Jacob closed his eyes, his mind kept flashing back to the hurt and tears in Seth's eyes as he lay broken and beaten beneath Jacob. Jacob looked down, opening his eyes as a tears starting falling silently for his eyes.

"I…I came out here….looking for Seth." Jacob admitted. Leah, Collin and Embry all exchanged worried and confused looks.

"Looking for Seth? What do you mean? He's back home waiting for us and…." Embry began but Leah caught on to what Jacob had actually said.

"Wait a minute Jake! What do you mean find Seth? Why would you need to…?" Leah began but then is dawned on her. Her painful memories were taking her back to a time not too long ago when she had first learned about Sam and Emily's betrayal behind her back. She had wanted answers to Sam's distant and cold behavior but when she got home from school, she discovered her boyfriend and her best friend together on her own bed. In that moment, Leah knew Jacob had went to their house. He had to have. "Jake you didn't…did you go to our house to see Seth after we had left?"

Jacob tried to swallow the painful sob building up in his throat because he knew he didn't have the right to cry. Not when he was the one who had beaten and abused Seth with such cruelty, but he couldn't help it as his chin trembled and his voice quivered with hurt and guilt.

"Guys…I'm…I'm sorry….I wanted to see him so badly…I had to…I wanted to apologize…to try and fix things but I was so angry and confused and I….." Jacob stuttered out but before he could finish he felt a fierce and heavy bow to his jaw that sent him flying back to the ground.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO JAKE?! TELL ME!" Embry who was suddenly in his face, spat violently Jacob had fallen to his back on the ground, thrown back by Embry's strong punch. Before he could even move or register what had happened, Embry was now choking him angrily, strong hands held fast and tightening around Jacob's thick neck. Immediately Collin panicked as he rushed over to Embry and Jacob, trying to garb at Embry's arm and pull him off of Jacob. Collin knew he was nowhere near strong enough but he at least had to try. Leah stood there, still holding Brady as she watched the scene unfold. She wasn't sure if she wanted to drop Brady and help Embry kill Jacob or do the right thing and help Collin pull Embry back.

"E

"Tell us the truth Jacob!"

"I…I hurt him….I tired just taking to him but things got out of control…I lost control and I kind of…I hurt him…..I attacked him and…he ran off."

"Embry! Stop!" Collin cried hysterically. "Please!"

But Embry merely ignored him as he tightened his grip. Jacob grabbed at Embry's hands trying to dislodge his former friend's hands from around his throat. Long ago he knew he that while Embry and he were both equally matched at times, he had always been a tad been stronger than him. But in these recent years he had no idea. Embry was definitely besting him, applying a force and strength upon him that Jacob never knew he had. If he really tried, he knew he could get Embry off of him but he didn't want to hurt Embry and he knew he deserved what he was getting. Still it was painful and a struggle to not be able to breathe while trying to utter out apologies.

"YOU FUCKIGN BASTARD! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Embry spat viciously as he tightened his grip. He never knew he could be so angry but the fact that Jacob had sneaked behind them after they had tried leaving Seth safe at home infuriated him. To make matters worse, Jacob had attacked the poor buy….only God know s what the entailed but they all knew Jacob's sick temper and violent tantrums. How could Jacob do this to Seth? To them? He had hurt Seth too many times and Embry was not going to let this bastard get away with it.

"Embry….please….you're…..you're killing me…..I'm sorry" Jacob gasped out as tears welled up in eyes but Embry didn't care.

"I'll fucking kill you sick bastard! How could you do this to him! What did you do to him huh?!" Embry shouted but throughout all his rage a tiny voice was trying to reach him, trying to pull him back into his senses. It was the sound that kept him grounded, the voice of love…it was Collin.

"Embry, let him go! Please! This isn't you!" Collin cried desperately, not wanting Embry to actually kill Jacob. Sure he was upset at Jacob for what he had done, but that didn't mean he wanted Embry to stoop to Jacob's level, especially if it would make Embry just like Jacob. One thing Collin loved about Embry that was different than others like Jacob or Paul was the fact that Embry didn't let his anger get the better of him and turn him into a monster. It put Collin at ease and made him feel safe, that Embry would fight for him if need be, but could never hurt him. But recently, he felt like he was beginning to see that all too familiar rage in Embry that he had seen so many times in some of the other more volatile wolves and it scared him. He didn't want his beloved to be like this…to give in to this.

"Embry stop it!" Collin begged, causing Embry to stop, looking to his side, he locked eyes with a saddened Collin whose cheeks were tear stained and whose eyes were afraid and it scared Embry because he saw in just that moment that Collin was afraid of him. Embry back away from Jacob who dropped back to the ground in a coughing fit.

"Fuck…." Jacob spat as he tried to regain his breathing.

"Collin…I'm…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to….." Embry tried to apologize but was interrupted by an abrupt embrace by the boy who cried as he hugged Embry tightly, burying his face in the older wolf's chest.

"Embry….I don't want you to be like them! Please, don't do that again!" Collin pleaded. Embry sighed, feeling disappointed in himself that he had let his rage get the better of him. He pulled Collin tighter, planting a kiss on the boy's forehead.

"I won't. Don't worry, I would never become like him." Embry said the last part with slight venom in his words. Jacob looked up from his place on the ground, eyes still filled with tears. He knew this wasn't over and he knew Embry wasn't finished with him but right now he was so thankful to Collin for saving him that he wanted to go over and embrace the boy as well.

"You guys…I know I have no right to even say this to you but I am sorry…I really am…if I could, I would take it back. I shouldn't have gone to his house to see him….. I just was so messed up and angry and confused and then I got drunk and I…." Jacob admitted as he stood up.

"Jake….what did you do to my brother?" Leah asked, she was trying to remain still and calm for Brady's sake as she was currently still holding him, but part of her wanted to lunge out and rip Jacob's throat out. Another part wanted t understand exactly what had went on between Jacob and her brother and why.

"I…..oh god…I can't believe what I did….I hurt him so badly…I told him it was his fault…I blamed him for so many things when I just…I just snapped…I attacked him…hurting him in a way I never should…I violated him…and hurt him and I couldn't see what I was doing…I didn't see that all of this shit was my fault….not Seth's…I'm so fucking sorry…I finally saw what I was doing and how fucking badly I had hurt him and when I stopped finally…he just…he just ran off….I tried following him but he was too fast and he got away from me and I….." Jacob began crying the others looked at him with hurt and anger on their faces, but Collin was trying to understand the deeper meaning behind Jacob's words although he felt he knew, but he couldn't voice it aloud.

"You're lucky these two are here to keep me on a leash otherwise I would kill you." Embry said with a disturbing calmness as he looked at Jacob with nothing but contempt.

"So you've been out in these fucking woods all night and you still haven't found my brother?!" Leah asked hotly. Jacob looked at her with so much sadness as his jaw trembled with the sobs he was trying to keep inside him.

"I've been trying…..I swear I have…but….…I think I hurt him so much…I made him feel all this time that it was all his fault…but Seth really believes now that he is to blame. He thinks by running off he'll be freeing me…freeing all of us….but it's my fault…I pushed him away and made him feel worthless and I blamed him for this…." Jacob explained as he pointed to his heart. "I blamed him for bringing out these feelings in me."

"Your feelings? What do you mean?" Collin asked quietly. Embry and Leah stayed quiet for once wanting to hear what Jacob had to say.

"I love him…..I love Seth…..I was too fucking stupid to admit it myself…to anyone….and I fucked everything up…all because I'm a fucking coward….but I do love him…I always have." Jacob finally admitted, eyes sad and downcast as he felt he had no right to even utter those words.

"You fucking bastard!" Embry shouted at him. "All this time Seth has been there for you, your best friend, he sacrificed everything for you and you treated him like shit. He loved you with everything he had and now you want to give some bull shit excuse that you really loved him?!"

Jacob panicked, desperately trying to prove to his former friends that he did love Seth.

"It's true! I'm not asking for forgiveness. I know I don't deserve that, but I have to be honest with you guys, with myself. I've spent long enough time lying already."

"Jake…you do realize how much Seth loved you, don't you?" Collin asked nervously, not wanting things to escalate anymore than they already had. Jacob looked sadly at Collin as the weight of his sins was crushing down on his head and heart.

"Yes, I do now….I finally understand…..and I'm so fucking sorry for what I've done…I can never hope to repair the damage that I've done to him….but I don't care the cost, I'll do whatever I have to do to find him and bring him home. It's my fault…I'm the reason he's gone…I'm the fucking reason he gave up and gave in…I…." Jacob stuttered out before he broke into sobs, covering his face with his hand, not wanting to break down like this when he was already so exposed in front of those he knew would hate him.

"You guys, we should go….we need to find my brother now!" Leah urged. Everyone looked around before their eyes fell upon Brady who was still unconscious.

"We will find Seth, Leah, don't worry. But we have to get back to La Push and get Brady to a hospital. We'll to have to come back when it's day time and search for Seth then. It's too dark, too late, and too many unknown dangers out there." Embry explained sternly. Leah and Collin just nodded their heads in understanding, everyone silently praying that wherever Seth was, he was okay for now until they could come find him.

"Come on guys, let's go." Jacob announced, as he moved to lead the group back home but he was grabbed roughly by the arm and pushed back.

"Embry, what the hell?!" Jacob asked.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? You think you're coming with us after what you've done?" Embry spat.

"Embry…..come on, we need all the help we can get trying to get back so we don't get lost this time. Besides, he did help save us." Leah sighed heavily.

"Leah?!" Embry asked in shock as he turned to her. "I can't believe you're sticking up for this bastard."

"I'm not, and believe me I want to kill Jacob just as much as you do right now but that can wait. Put it on hold until we get Brady some help and until we find my brother." Leah explained. Embry huffed angrily before getting Jacob go. Again, Jacob knew he could have pushed Embry away easily if he wanted to but he didn't want to anger his former friends anymore than he already had. He wanted to make amends, make things up to not only Seth, but all the people he had pushed away and hurt and for now the best thing to do was to just go along with what they wanted. Still, it hurt him to know that they did hate him. It was a position that Jacob wasn't used to being in. He was so sued to being the alpha, the heir of Ephraim Black, the price of La Push and having everyone love and want him and take orders from him that it wounded him to think once word got out that he had abused and attacked Seth and drove him away, that the whole pack maybe even the tribe and all the people of their town of La Push would hate him.

"Please guys…I just want to help…I want…I need to find him…I have to." Jacob pleaded. Collin stayed quiet as he exchanged a worried look with Leah and Embry, who was still growling quietly wanting nothing more than to rip Jacob's throat out. Embry turned back to Jacob in a threatening manner, glaring menacingly as he spoke in a dark tone.

"Fine, Jake, you can come with us. I'll allow it this time because you helped save Leah and Collin. But I just want you to remember one thing Jake…the only reason you're still living right now is because we have to save Brady and come back tomorrow to find Seth. But I promise you, if Seth turns up hurt or worse…I will kill you myself." Embry spat. Jacob locked eyes with Embry before scoffing, too tired and wear to argue with Embry, couldn't his former friend see he was serious about wanting to make things right?

"Ok, fine, I got it Embry." Jacob said tiredly. Embry took Collin by the hand and roughly trudged him along as he lead the way through the forest and back down the mountain, Leah carrying Brady in her arm following closely behind, and Jacob following behind her. No one spoke but they hiked back to La Push as fast as they could. Jacob feared though that what if Embry was right? What if they found Seth hurt or worse? Jacob really wanted to stay in the woods and keep searching for Seth but at this rate, who knew what else lied within the forest ready to attack them, an d if so, that only meant Seth's life was in even more danger. Jacob knew in his heart things weren't right, beyond the obvious circumstances. Everything that had occurred tonight had left them all with more questions than answers and their best bet right now was to get back into town and find Brady some help and then find the rest of the pack to help find Seth and bring the boy he love so much back home where he belonged.

* * *

Paul gripped the steering wheel of his old pickup dangerously as he swerved his truck down the path that led to Sam and Emily's house. He had thought on his way here he would stop at a few places to check and see if he could find Brady at some of his old favorite hiding spots. He checked out the La Push elementary school playground. Even though it was near three in the morning almost and it was summer, he knew no one would be there but there were a few times in the past when he had caught Brady sneaking out to ride the swings. When Paul asked him about it later, after threatening to beat it out of the poor kid, Brady finally confessed to Paul that the swing set reminded him of his father picking him up from school. Paul almost wept when he thought about the times when he first took Brady in and the boy couldn't even sleep in the house with him for missing his family too much. Not to mention that Brady was also terrified of Paul for good reason and couldn't believe that he was being forced to move in with the most volatile and unstable wolf on the reservation. Thinking back now, Paul couldn't even understand where the judgment call from the elders had come from when they decided to make him Brady's legal guardian. He knew back then it was a mistake, but a part of him was so thrilled about it at the same time that he chose not to fight them directly on it. Secretly, he was elated that he could have the boy in his house and all too himself, but he couldn't admit that to himself. He used his denial and anger as a cover up, hollering and fussing for public show in front of the pack and his friends, especially directly to Brady. He didn't know why, but he wanted to do everything he could to show the boy that he was unwanted in his house and that he was only there because the elders had forced it. Paul hated himself for that. How could he? Even back then he knew he felt something for Brady but he just wasn't sure exactly what it was, not until years later of course when his lust and passion began to get the better of him. Over the years, he grew to hate Brady for making him feel the things he did and he was so frustrated and confused and conflicted that he had no other way to vent those feeling besides through his fist. Just the memory of Brady's fear stricken face whenever he would hit him or beat him or….it made Paul break down and cry at the steering wheel. How could he have done this? How could he have hurt the boy he was meant to guard and protect? How could he hurt the boy he had fallen in love with?

As Paul pulled up to Sam's house, he could already see the living room alight through the windows as well as a few other cars parked in front of him. His nerves were overtaking him and a part of Paul felt like he would vomit. He tried keeping all of this to himself; his fear, his feelings, Brady's mysterious condition, what he had done to him….but he couldn't any longer. Coming home to find the boy missing was just too much for Paul to handle. He knew he needed help. But how could he ask for it? Paul swore he would be honest with his pack mates. After all, he had already done enough lying to everyone. He knew they wouldn't forgive him or even understand why he had done the things he did and he was prepared for that. Now he understood this must have been what it was like for Seth to come forward in front of the pack before they exiled him. The only difference was Seth had done nothing wrong. All he had done was love Jacob. He didn't carry the same sins that Paul did and yet they still humiliated and expelled him. Just the thought of that made Paul hate himself even more and all of a sudden he found himself wanting to see not only Brady but Seth as well.

As Paul approached the front door, making his way up the porch steps, he was surprised when the door opened to see a somewhat livid Sam.

"Sam?!" Paul called out in shock almost. He couldn't avoid the almost angry glare on Sam's face. Paul had called Sam before he left the house and he knew Sam was already thinking the worst since the last time he asked the older man over his house.

"Get your ass in here. We've been waiting for you." Sam demanded in his familiar no nonsense tone.

As Paul made his way into the house, he couldn't help but hang his head in shame as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. Walking into Sam's living room, he noticed some of the core veteran members there, well except those who had left the pack such as Embry, Collin and Leah and as Paul thought about it, a part of him felt hollow and guilty and sad all at once. What was happening to them? He knew they hadn't always gotten along but it seemed the days of them all being together were over. Little by little the pack was falling to pieces and he knew in some ways they had themselves to blame for turning their hate on one another and allowing their own difference in beliefs and opinions to pull them apart. Paul nodded his head in greeting at Quil, Jared, Logan and Elijah who were all standing around anxiously, having been waiting since Sam called them over at Paul's behest.

"Oh so now you finally show up. Took you long enough man." Quil joked; slapping Paul on the back in a friendly manner but Paul merely shrugged his shoulders solemnly.

"Sorry guys." Paul apologized as he stood by them, Sam coming over as well once he shut and locked the front door.

"Whoa! Did Paul just fucking apologize?" Logan teased with a mischievous smirk.

"Shit man, I thought I would never see the day." Jared laughed loudly, causing Quil and Logan to join him. Paul couldn't even smile through any of it. He was too distraught and he knew none of them would be laughing when they discovered the truth about why he had called this meeting. He looked over at Elijah who was standing up against the wall, a stern expression on his face as always. Paul sometimes wondered what made Elijah so unmoving at times but he always figured the older wolf had his reasons that went far beyond anything any of them could fully understand. On the other side, Sam looked at Paul impatiently as if he knew Paul was stalling.

"Okay Paul spill, what is going on that you had to drag me out of bed at five in the fucking morning." Quil demanded to know as his laughter settled down.

"Damn it; please don't tell me we have patrols because I think I'm still a bit hung over from last night." Jared piped up.

Paul stood there feeling like lead was sitting in his very stomach. He didn't know how he was supposed to go about this. These were his friends, his pack brothers…or so he thought. He always thought that the pack were his friends and they were to an extent but sometimes Paul wondered did they even really know each other. True they hunted together and watched each other's backs, but in their down times he wondered what exactly they shared, outside of alcohol, loose women and the occasional blunt. They bonded more over substance abuse and bullying other people more than they should have and Paul began thinking was this really friendship? He thought about all the times they would fight or squabble at the garage they all worked at together and he knew they had always been there for each other…they did care for each other although they would never admit it for fear of sounding gay to each other but could they really trust each other? Paul didn't know, but he had no choice but to come out to them with his secrets…with his demons.

"Look…guys…um…this isn't really well…this is kind of hard to tell you guys but I…I think I need your help." Paul admitted. Everyone in the room got quiet.

"Well come on man, don't be such a pussy about it, just come out and say it." Jared urged him playfully.

"Well….I got home late last night and Brady…he was there when I left, but he was gone when I came home." Paul explained nervously. He looked down, not wanting to meet everyone's eyes around him even though they still hadn't yet learned the circumstances around Brady's disappearance.

"Gone? Gone as in …you think he might have run away or something might have happened to him?" Logan asked impatiently.

"I'm not sure, really…I feel like he might have ran off. I'm just not sure. All I know is that I need to get him back home before something happens to him." Paul admitted. His answer was so obtuse and unexpected that Quil, Jared, Logan and Elijah were left staring at him with confusion and arched eyebrows. Sam merely stood there, expecting Paul's full disclosure of what had really happened. He wanted to give Paul the chance to confess the truth himself, but with Brady gone missing yet again, the older wolf's patience was growing steadily thin.

"Well….that's no big deal. I mean, what could happen to him? He's a wolf isn't he? He can take care of himself just like we all can." Quil merely shrugged. But he felt a hard slap upside the back of his head and he nearly yelped in surprise.

"Sam?! What did you do that for?" Quil whined in a bratty tone causing Logan and Jared to snicker at his expense. Even the usually stern and quiet Elijah smirked in amusement.

"You asshole, are you dense? Brady is just a pup; yes he can handle himself when he's with a pack but not on his own." Sam chastised Quil.

"Well Paul, why do you think he ran off in the first place?" Elijah asked seriously, bringing them back to the focus of the meeting. Paul fidgeted slightly with fear and anxiousness as all eyes fell upon him. He couldn't very well tell them what happed, could he? They would hate him? They would turn on him and lash out if they knew, would they?

"Look…..I'm…I'm not sure….I…look, we're wasting valuable time here, can you help or not?!" Paul said impatiently, not wanting to reveal the truth. Logan, Quil, Jared, Elijah and Sam all exchanged looks. Only Sam's was neutral and unmoving but for the others they all smiled somewhat disbelievingly at Paul.

"To be honest Paul, I'm actually surprised you want to go find him. I thought you hated that kid." Jared answered blatantly. Paul took a step back as he caught the words that Jared had so callously thrown at him as if they meant nothing at all. Paul's heart hurt as the guilt set in deeper than before. Had he come off as that uncaring to everyone else?

"What the hell are you even talking about Jared?" Paul asked but this just caused Jared, as well as Quil, Logan and Elijah to laugh together in irony of the current predicament.

"Oh come on, Paul like we haven't all seen you slap him around a couple of times. I mean, don't get me wrong, I would hate to be saddled with some bastard child too but we all know you don't give two shits about him." Logan added.

"What?! That's not…." Paul began was quickly cut off.

"Yeah, all the times you would not pick Brady up from school or just leave him somewhere so you could hang at the bar with us, or go to the club or even take some whore home. You don't care about him." Quil laughed along with both Logan and Jared. Paul looked between the three of them and couldn't believe his closest friends really thought he was that heartless. He turned to Sam and Elijah who were standing by the fireplace with calm and serious expressions of their faces.

"Are you guys fucking dense or just plain fucking stupid? Why the fuck would you think that?! Of course I care about him!" Paul countered. They all stopped, somewhat surprised at Paul's reaction.

"Um….yeah sure, okay Paul….sure you do." Quil teased. Helplessly, Paul looked to Sam and Elijah.

"Come on Sam…you believe me don't you? You know I care about Brady." Paul pleaded but was interrupted by Quil, Logan and Jared again making jokes at his expense. Paul couldn't take it. He knew it was his fault. Was he always this much of a monster that people thought he would not have any feelings toward Brady? But a part of him was beginning to boil up and over at his friend's attitude as they just kept laughing at his claims and before he could contain his anger, he just snapped.

"WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT THIS YOU LITTLE SHIT!" Paul yelled as he pushed at Quil, pushing him back against the wall, holding him there threateningly with his other pulled back into a fist. Everyone stopped and immediately jumped in to pull Paul off of Quil and calm him down.

"Paul are you fucking crazy, let go of him!" Sam yelled. "Give me a hand with him Elijah!" Elijah and Sam took Paul by the arms and pulled him forcibly back while Logan and Jared tried to calm Quil down who was getting riled up and angry at Paul's attack.

"What the fuck Paul?! I was just joking, my god!" Quil said angrily. "Why the hell are you getting all pissy?!"

"It's none of your God damn business!" Paul snapped. Logan, Quil and Jared all exchanged annoyed looks but Elijah out of all of them was the first to speak up.

"You know Paul, since you're the one asking for our help, I think the pack has every right to know." Elijah countered in his serious tone that lacked any emotion.

"Yeah, what's up so far up your ass that you can't share with your pack brothers?" Logan asked.

"Paul, he's right. You need to tell them what's been going on." Sam added. Paul looked to Sam with anxiety written across his face but Sam showed him no leniency. Sam had known full well that Paul had something to do with Brady's second disappearance. He gave him one chance to straighten things out himself but now that Paul let it happen again, he was not about to sit back and make excuses for the hot blooded wolf any longer. "Tell them Paul." Sam demanded again.

"Sam, do you know something that we don't?!" Jared asked accusingly as he, Logan, Quil and Elijah looked from Sam to Paul questioningly.

"You guys need to hear it from Paul…actually we all do because I still haven't been given a straight forward answer. Care to elaborate for us Paul?" Sam asked the last part in a demeaning and annoyed tone.

"What does he mean by that Paul?" Quil asked.

"Look, I didn't fucking mean to…I…I just…." Paul began to stutter not being able to find the words. He didn't want to lie anymore. He promised himself he would be honest, but he didn't want them to hate him. And for the first time Paul had a realization that took him out of his own selfish thoughts for once. All this time they had condemned Seth, but they confronted the boy, was this how they made Seth feel? Was Seth also scared of others hating him when they found out his secret?

Jared laid a hand on Paul' shoulder comfortingly, trying to reassure his friend. "Look Paul, I know we're giving you grief here but we've never even seen you like this before. Truth be told, I never thought you gave a fuck about Brady but if you do care about him, then tell us what happened? Did you two…get in a fight or something?" Jared asked.

"Yeah man, look, I'm sorry…maybe, maybe we can help you find him and then you two can patch things up." Quil added, being serious for once. But Sam scoffed at the others' understanding. He couldn't stand to sit here watch them be so understanding when he somewhat knew why Brady may have run off, something he promised Paul he would keep a secret but he couldn't any longer.

"Go on Paul, tell them. Tell them how you've been lying all this time and you were the one that drove Brady away." Sam interjected. Everyone looked at Sam somewhat confused.

"Sam what are you talking about?" Elijah asked.

"Sam stop it!" Paul shouted with panic but Sam ignored him as he pointed an accusing finger at Paul, raising his voice above all of them.

"Why? Did I strike a nerve?! Tell them how you've been fucking hitting Brady just to get your anger out, tell them how you probably have been abusing him for only God knows how long? Tell them how you get so fucking drunk and high that you can't even control your own temper! Tell me for once because I'm supposed to be your best friend and you've been keeping this from me….but I knew…I know, and I didn't say anything before because I trusted that you would stop! Tell them Paul! For once in your life, be a man and be honest!" Sam shouted.

"Sam shut the fuck up; you're not helping him here!" Quil defended as the others' eyes widened with either confusion or shock, not wanting to believe what the older wolf was insinuating.

"I'm telling you guys the truth about what he's been keeping behind closed doors. We all knew it must have sucked ass for Brady to live with Paul but it wasn't until Paul asked me over to check on Brady one night that I figured the extent of how far the abuse had gone." Sam confessed. "I'm sorry I have to say this to you guys…I should have said something earlier, for Brady's sake." Sam spat the last part out directed at Paul who winced at the true accusation.

"Paul, he's lying right…I mean...Brady is just a kid…you wouldn't do that to him, would you?" Logan asked.

"Yeah man, tell us Sam's lying here. You wouldn't do something like that would you?" Jared asked. They were all staring at Paul waiting, but Paul just hung his head in shame as his eyes began to water, the guilt building up at what he'd done for so long.

"I never meant to…it's just I'm so fucking stupid….I hate myself and my life so much of the time….I care about him, I really do and I never understood how I could treat him the way I have but it was easy to just blame him for the things that went wrong in my life…and for all the stress and…fuck, I don't…I'm sorry guys…. I'm so fucking sorry." Paul said his voice undoubtedly shaky now as his sobs overtook him.

"Paul…seriously, are you shitting us with this? You've been outright beating him like some battered woman?!" Quil asked.

"Yeah…..I…uh…." Paul stuttered out but before he could say anything more he was pushed back violently by Jared.

"Dude, what the fuck!" Paul shouted through his tears. Logan and Elijah tried to hold Jared back but Sam and Elijah did nothing, merely glaring daggers at Paul.

"Don't fucking hold him back; let him have a piece of this bastard." Elijah instigated.

"Look, guys I told you I'm sorry okay. I am…I know I have nothing to say that could ever make this right but I was just so…I don't know…confused? Angry?" Paul questioned himself aloud; trying to explain why he had done what he did but even he couldn't quite understand his actions. He just knew he couldn't outright tell them how he felt about Brady.

"Confused about what?! That doesn't give you the right to fucking beat on him like he's some piece of shit! I mean, he never did anything wrong to any of us…hell, half the time he's just a shadow, always trying not to be seen or heard but does whatever he's ordered to do…that doesn't give you the right Paul!" Jared shouted, almost surprising everyone with his outburst but something in his words triggered a realization in Elijah.

"Oh come off it Jared! He doesn't have the right to abuse Brady but yet when Jacob lied and said that Seth started all this mess in the tribe, you guys thought that gave you the right to punish Seth! Seth never did anything wrong to any of us either!" Elijah replied taking the attention temporarily from Paul and making everyone look at the older wolf that was still somewhat a mystery to everyone. He was always very stern and very serious. He never participated in the pack squabbles or hangouts, outside of patrols. He was the last of the La Push children to phase into a wolf, even though he was the eldest of all of them.

"Elijah…..that's…that's different." Logan said.

"How so? I tried to stay out of all of this but you guys had no right to hurt Seth the way you did, so how can we sit here and judge Paul for what he did?" Elijah challenged.

"Elijah….we….we did what we had to do because…we weren't left with a choice. The elders would have gotten involved and told the whole tribe, the whole town that we were going soft on a traitor and that would have made us seem unfit to protect anyone." Sam tried to explain sympathetically even though he didn't fully believe it either.

"Yeah man, Seth was just a fag. He had it coming…I mean…..it's one thing if he wants to be gay, but he forced himself on Jacob…..might have forced himself on the rest of us." Quil stated.

"Do we even know that?" Elijah challenged angrily. "You guys heard Jacob earlier. He probably lied about that. He may have had good reason at the time because he didn't know how to handle it. Just look at what happened to Jacob at the party. We all know there's something going on there that Jacob isn't telling us. Think about it, does Seth of all people even seem capable of forcing himself on anybody?"

Everyone looked weary as they thought of what Elijah had just said.

"But….Jacob wouldn't lie to us…not like that? Why would he?" Quil countered.

"So what…you think Jacob actually has feelings for Seth?" Logan asked as well. Everyone mauled over the revelation and what that actually could have meant for Jacob…for all of them.

"You know….it's not like we all haven't seen it at some point or another. You know, I know we always gave Jake grief about Seth….but…it wasn't always just Seth looking at Jacob. Sometimes, it was the other way around too wasn't it?" Quil asked quietly with realization that just maybe he was demonizing Seth for something that might not have been the young wolf's fault.

"We didn't do anything wrong…we….." Jared tried to rationalize but couldn't bring himself to finish his thoughts because he wasn't sure how much he believed them. They were all beginning to question things they never really had to face up to.

"We did exactly what the elders….what everyone in the tribe expected us to do…." Sam confessed. "I didn't want to hurt Seth…I didn't want us to turn our backs on him but…I didn't understand what he was…what he was going through and….."

"Why are we even going on about this?! Seth's not our problem anymore." Jared questioned, but it was Paul's solemn response that quieted everyone at once.

"No….but….Elijah has a point…he was one of us….until we exiled him. I hated him….I guess we all did because it was easy, when really I was just as guilty as feeling the same thing he did." Paul confessed.

Everyone's eyes widened with surprise and even Sam hadn't seen this admission coming. He was certain Paul had some excuse that couldn't be justified but he never knew it was because of this at all.

"So what are you saying Paul? You…you have feelings for…for Brady? Is that why you lashed out at him?" Sam questioned. Paul merely nodded his head as fresh tears began to fill his eyes. He hated crying in front of the pack but he didn't care right now. He was so overcome with grief and remorse at his sins that he didn't even feel like he deserved to ask for their help even though he needed it.

"Paul are you fucking kidding us with this shit? I mean…..you're telling us first that you've been abusing Brady for how many years, ever since you took him in and now you're telling us it's because you're just like Seth, because you're in love with him?" Jared questioned. Paul sighed with frustration and guilt as he looked in the eyes of his fellow pack brothers.

"Look I'm sorry….I know I shouldn't have and I'm sorry I did to him what I….I'm so fucking sorry. I fucking drove him away, okay! It's my fault but I never meant to…"Paul cried.

"You never meant to! You know, here you were taking the piss at Seth right along with us and all this time you've been a fag just like him." Logan accused. Paul couldn't take hearing that word anymore, especially not after he had used it as a weapon against Brady and Seth so many times.

"WOULD YOU STOP FUCKIGN SAYING THAT WORD!" Paul shouted back.

"Stop this! Can't you guys see what all this shit has done to us already!?" Sam shouted.

"I just want to know how long." Jared inquired.

"I don't know…um….I can't really remember when it started…" Paul stuttered.

"Really? That damn long? And he never said anything to us about it?" Quil asked.

"Probably because no one would have even believed him. None of you would have anyway." Elijah spat out.

"Elijah what the hell does that even mean?" Sam challenged, not knowing what Elijah was getting at.

"It means look at us. Look at this pack. Look at how you guys carry yourselves. Look, I'm not going to sit here and call judgment shots, but I never wanted to be a part of this pack. When I first met you guys, even before I first phased….I didn't want anything to do with you. Listen to the younger pups, listen to some of the people in this town…they're fucking scared of us. Not because of what we are…but who we are. You guys let this power you have go to your head so far to the point that when people really need you…they're afraid to ask for help. Brady never would have even said anything even if he wanted to." Elijah explained sternly.

"Do the people of La Push…really think of us like that?" Quil asked aloud, voicing the question on everyone's mind.

The six men present all stood in quiet contemplation as they thought about what had just been discussed. Everyone was still upset at Paul not only for what he had done to the young wolf Brady. But also for keeping it a secret from them for so long, especially since they could have intervened and helped at some point but something in the revelation of their discussion proved that their friendship and bond as a pack was at most merely superficial and instead of truly being there for each other, they only tore themselves and other people down. Sam looked at Paul noticing the constant slump in the man's shoulders and the utter defeat and sadness in his face. He understood Paul was beating himself up over this but as far as Sam was concerned, he lost a lot of respect for Paul and if they did find Brady, Sam was going to make sure that Paul lost custody of the boy. The others, Jared, Logan and Quil were all disappointed and upset that Paul had kept it a secret from them for so long but felt conflicted when the situation was compared to Seth's exile. Elijah had pointed this out and now none of them could help thinking did they do the right thing by treating one of their own kind the way they had and how did it make them any better than Paul?

"Come on, we might as well get started on our search now." Sam said solemnly as he made his way to the door. The others began following him. Paul reached out to grab Sam by the shoulder gently. He just wanted someone to say something to him but now they couldn't even look at him with anything but contempt.

"Sam…look…I know I was wrong…and I know you guys probably hate me for what I was doing…but I'm so sorry…you have to believe that I don't want to hurt him…I never did…I'm just so sorry." Paul pleaded, begging Sam, his best friend to believe him.

"You're not fucking sorry." Jared spat as he pushed past Paul roughly, hitting the man against the shoulder Paul stood back with hurt in his eyes. He knew he deserved it, but it hurt to not have Jared on his side like he always had before. The two were always closest after he and Sam and Jared always used to look up to Paul…but now, Paul could see the disappointment in the other wolf's face and his contempt was plain as day.

"Look Paul…just save it. Okay. The one you owe the apology to the most is Brady. But I want you to know that I'm not going to sit back and let you have the chance to hurt Brady again. If we can find him, I'm taking custody of him." Sam said bitterly, ignoring Paul's shocked expression.

"But...but Sam…please…no…I can be better for him...you can't take him from me…" Paul begged.

"Will you just the fuck up Paul! You fucked up your position as his guardian so if Sam says its best you no longer have him in your house than get over it and shut up." Quil piped up as they all stood by the door waiting to leave the house. Paul looked at all of them and felt like for the first time he had no friends anymore. He knew he deserved it and he knew they were shocked and angry with him but at the same time he just wanted someone to understand him. He needed to talk to someone who may be going through this as well…he needed to talk to Jacob. But his thoughts were interrupted by the shrill ringing of the house phone, causing them all to look at Sam questioningly.

"I'll get it." Logan offered since he was closest to the phone.

"Sam, who could be calling at this time?" Elijah asked aloud to Sam who merely shrugged his shoulders, as he looked over at Logan.

"Oh my God….Collin?! Is that you dude?!" Logan asked aloud, making everyone's ears perk in earnest as they all made their way back inside and circled around Logan.

"Um…Sam….it's Collin…he sounds scared….he said he needs to talk to you." Logan said with worry in his face, handing over the phone to Sam. Sam nervously took the phone, anxious to hear the young wolf's voice again. Sam had to admit he had missed hearing Collin's youthful and endearing voice for so long. But instead of the joyfulness Sam was used to hearing from the young pup, he heard nothing but fear. Sam was beyond worried as he tried to process what Collin was telling him over the phone but he almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. And it all came back to what Sam had feared when the pack started falling apart. Despite how much they may have mistreated each other, the pack truly did care about each other and whether or not they wanted to admit it or not, they did miss the ones who were no longer there, leaving an empty void in their hearts as a pack.

"Whoa! Whoa! Collin slow down, what's wrong, what's going on? Are you guys hurt?" Sam asked worriedly and everyone around him began to worry as they strained to hear through the phone as to what the two wolves were talking about.

"Sam, what's going on?! Did something happen to the others?" Paul asked with concern. Sam hushed him as he tried to listen to what Collin was sharing with him over the phone but he couldn't believe the horror that he was being told.

"Oh my god…Collin, are you serious? Are you guys okay?! Is Brady alright?!"

"Shit, they found Brady?! Sam, please let me talk to him?" Paul begged loudly. Jared nudged him roughly to get him to stay quiet long enough so Sam could talk on the phone properly because everyone present wanted to know exactly what was going on as well. Sam was known for maintaining control of a situation and the fact that he looked visibly disturbed from what Collin was telling him made them all anxious with worry.

"No, no it's no problem at all...Of course we can be down there. A few of us were actually on our way out to look for Brady because Paul told me he went missing. We'll be at the hospital in a few. Don't worry Collin, we'll see you in a bit and…thanks for calling me." Sam assured the young wolf over the phone before hanging up. As he set the phone down, he was bombarded by questions from the men around him.

"Sam, what's wrong? Did something happen to Collin?" Quil asked anxiously.

"Is he with Brady now? Why are they at the hospital?!" Logan added. Paul, Jared and Elijah all began asking questions as well and Sam was getting both frustrated and sick with fear all at once as he tried to rein in control of the hysteria that had settled upon them.

"Look guys, I don't know much but what he did tell me I'll explain on the way, we have to go now." Sam said with finality as he marched out of the house, the other five men right behind him as they made their way out of the house towards the driveway.

Before going off to their cars, Sam stopped at his truck as Paul, Jared, Elijah, Logan and Quil all stood around him waiting for him to speak. Each of them could see the anxiety and fear written on Sam's face.

"Sam? Something's not right here is it?" Quil asked nervously as a chilly wind settled into the night, making them all stand on pins and needles as to what it was that Collin might have divulged to Sam.

"Come on Sam, you can tell us." Elijah encouraged. Jared, Paul and Logan all nodded their heads in agreement.

"Look guys…..I know things have been difficult…for all of us. I know this pack is falling apart. I'm not blind to that. But we've got to find a way to put our differences behind us and fast because we've got a situation and I'm not sure where to start." Sam confessed.

"Sam, what did Collin say? They found Brady?" Paul asked eager to hear any news regarding the boy he loved.

"Embry, Leah and Collin found Brady. They were found in the woods by Jacob. But now Seth has gone missing and… Brady won't wake up. They're all at the hospital now and Collin asked us to come as soon as possible." Sam said. He left his words hanging, not sure exactly how to relay what Collin had told him. As he thought back, he remembered Collin was almost in tears as he retold his experience to the older wolf.

"There's something else isn't there?" Jared asked.

"They….they were attacked in the woods." Sam admitted. Everyone went silent, trying to understand exactly what it was that Sam could be implying.

"By what? More vampires?" Logan questioned but he was met by a stony and disturbed shake of the head from Sam.

"No…..by something else….other wolves." Sam answered. In the silence of the moment, the rustling of the surrounding trees by the cold wind made the environment seem so eerie and there was a haunting feeling that settled around them at what Sam had revealed.

"What? What do you mean?" Elijah questioned.

"Dude, how is that even possible?" Jared asked.

"Wolves? I thought we were the only shape shifters…how can there be other wolves out there?" Quil inquired, as they all tried to make sense of this new and haunting information.

"I'm not sure but we need to get down to the hospital ASAP." Sam said. "Paul, you and Quil can ride with me. Jared, can Elijah and Logan ride with you, you have a bigger truck and we all need to be there."

"Sure thing. Come on guys lets…" Jared began as he fished out the keys to his truck but he was stopped short by Logan who had concerns of his own. Mainly, some of the other pack members not present that they were leaving out.

"Wait a second….maybe I should head back home and let some of the other guys know before we head over to the hospital?" Logan asked.

"No Logan, you go with Sam and the others to the hospital. I'll round up Michael, Kyle and some of the other pups and let them know what's going on. We'll be on standby if anything happens, okay?" Elijah said, resting a reassuring hand on Logan's shoulder. Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Thanks Elijah." Sam said. "And make sure you keep your phone near you at all times because if what Collin told me is true…I might have to issue a state of emergency for the whole rez. Just get the pack together at your place and make sure you let everyone know to stay indoors. Luckily Emily and the girls are all staying together at Kim's apartment in town so they should be fine but I'll call anyway and let them know what's going on. First I have to call the elders and let them know the situation. And call anybody you know, your family; friends…let them know to stay in their house. Nobody is to go out into the woods at all until Jacob or I give the okay. We have no clue what it is that attacked them…and if it could still be out there." Sam ordered. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement before moving into their designated cars. Sam, Quil and Paul piled into Sam's truck while Jared and Logan got into Jared's truck. Elijah hopped into his own car alone and gave Sam an assuring wave before heading to round up some of the other pack members and let them know what exactly was going on. As Sam watched Elijah drivel off, he and the others pulled out of the drive way as well and sped on their way to the hospital in Forks with nothing but fear and uncertainty filling their hearts.


End file.
